‘Yeah.’
Delight for him surged through me and I found myself grinning like an idiot. ‘Where?’
‘Here. I got my old job back. Their restructuring hasn’t gone over well and they realized they’d left themselves a man short. They can’t handle the workload without another designer. My boss put in a good word for me.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s a gamble to go back with them, but it pays well and I’d be doing what I love to do.’
I leaned into him, placing a soft kiss on his mouth. ‘Cam, I’m so pleased for you. When do you go back?’
‘Monday.’ His arm tightened around me. ‘Su’s unhappy with me for not giving two weeks’ notice, but I can’t risk losing this offer.’
‘Su will manage. I’ll probably take on more shifts.’ My mouth turned down at the thought of working more backshifts.
‘You know, if you took Braden up on his offer this wouldn’t even be a problem.’
‘I said no. I’ll find something. Don’t worry.’
He shifted under me, tensing. ‘You’re so bloody stubborn. You’re always all concerned about Cole and providing for him and making sure he’s going to be okay. I bet half of what happened out in the hall this afternoon was because of him and you feeling like you’d let him down. If you’re so concerned about him, then take a bloody job when it’s offered to you.’
I pulled out of his embrace, my cheeks burning at being
spoken down to like that. I stretched out on the other side of the couch and reached over for the television remote, bumping up the volume of the sci-fi programme we were watching. Not only was I annoyed by his tone, but I was annoyed that he was absolutely right.
His weary sigh filled the living room.
‘Fine,’ I grumbled. ‘I’ll call Braden tomorrow.’
Silence greeted me, so I shot him a quick look before focusing back on the television. The overbearing bastard was trying not to smile. ‘Good. I’m glad to hear it.’
‘Are you deliberately trying to be a smug bugger?’
He snorted. ‘How did I go from being the guy who brought your family back together to being a smug bugger? How did we go from cuddling to you sitting as far from me as possible?’ He grabbed my calf. ‘Come back.’
I kicked out at him. ‘Stop it.’
‘Fine, I’ll come to you.’
I squealed as he launched himself over me, pinning me to the sofa. ‘Get off!’ I laughed as he buried his nose in my neck, his fingers tickling my waist.
‘Will you be nice?’ he muttered against my skin.
I pouted. ‘I’m always nice.’
Cam lifted his head and kissed the pout right off my mouth and what had started as playful quickly gained heat. I held him to me, his chest pressing against my sensitive breasts as he deepened our kiss.
When his hips began to thrust gently against me, his hard-on nudging between my legs, I tore my mouth away from his, feeling as if my whole body was going to burst into flames. ‘Don’t,’ I breathed, gripping his hips to still
his erotic motion. ‘We can’t do anything and I’m horny as hell. Don’t torture me.’
‘Yeah?’ Cam’s grin was wicked as his hand coasted up my waist to cup my breast. He squeezed it, setting off a weird mixture of painful tenderness and a bolt of lust to my sex.
‘My eyes!’ Cole yelled.
Cam and I jerked apart, and I twisted my head to see my brother standing in the doorway in his pyjamas, his hair falling in wet locks across his forehead. His forearm covered his eyes. ‘I’m fucking blind,’ he growled and turned around, bumping into the wall before remembering to drop his arm. After that he stomped out of the flat, the door slamming in his wake.
Horrified, I looked up into Cam’s face, my eyes wide. ‘I think I should let him get away with using the “f” word on this occasion.’
Cam snorted, laughter spluttering as he dropped his head to my chest, his whole body shaking with amusement.
I felt an irrepressible giggle escape me despite my mortification for myself and Cole. ‘It’s not funny. We’ve scarred him. I better check on him.’
Cam shook his head, his eyes bright with mirth. ‘You’re the last person he wants to see right now.’
‘But he’s upstairs with Mum.’
‘I’m sure he’s barricaded himself in his room and is doing anything he can to burn the image of me dry-humping his sister out of his mind.’
‘Why do you have to be right about everything? It’s exceptionally annoying.’
He just smiled.
‘No, I mean it. Either you’re going to have to stop or you’re constantly going to find yourself on the wrong end of the couch.’
‘Good.’ He flashed that heated smile at me again. ‘I like the making-up part.’
I abruptly kissed him hard, liking that answer and too love-fogged to care that he now knew just how much his cockiness could turn me on. When I finally let him up for breath, I brushed my thumb across his mouth, hoping I got to keep that sexy curl of his lip forever and ever. ‘I am grateful for today. For everything. For handling me with care and for going out of your way to bring Uncle Mick to me.’
His eyes lit with affection and sweet tenderness as he searched my face slowly, seeming to memorize each feature. ‘Anytime, baby.’
I cuddled him close and we lay in silence for a few moments. Brushing his hair through my fingers, I asked tentatively, ‘Cam?’
‘Aye?’
‘I know you said you gave up on the idea of looking for your birth parents, but after seeing what happened today with Mick … are you sure?’
‘That was different.’ His breath whispered across my collarbone. ‘You and Mick had a relationship. I don’t know the people who gave me up. Honestly, I no longer need to know them. I have everything I could ever want for in Anderson and Helena MacCabe. I don’t need reasons or excuses because … well … no matter how good they are, it’s never going to change the fact that I came second to those excuses. They abandoned me. Doesn’t
matter if their reasons are logical, practical … it will never change how I felt when I found out the truth. So what’s the point?’
I ran my hand down his back soothingly, wanting to draw him inside me, where he was loved more than he even knew. ‘They missed out, baby. They missed out big.’
Cole had been given the full rundown about Uncle Mick already. He’d been only three years old when Mick left, so he couldn’t remember him, but he seemed okay about meeting him, having learned enough from me over the years to know that I’d once thought the guy walked on water.
Telling Mum had been a different story. I’d actually feared telling her, afraid that the news would cause her to kick off. To my surprise, she accepted the news with calm and agreed to come out and speak to Mick when he arrived.
I thought I even heard her take a shower while I clicked through the job site on Cole’s computer.
By the time Cole arrived home from school, my palms were sweating. Mum had been unruffled earlier, but that might change when she set eyes on Mick. The knock at the door caused my heart to skip a beat. I don’t know why people described that in romance novels as if it was a good thing. When your heart skips a beat it makes you breathless, you feel a little sick, and definitely out of sorts.
‘You made it.’ I stretched my lips into a weak smile as I opened the door to Uncle Mick and Olivia.
Olivia chuckled. ‘Are we that bad?’
‘No, no, no.’ I hurried to reassure them, stepping aside to let them in.
‘It’s not us she’s worried about,’ Mick murmured to her, and I threw him a knowing but weary smile over my shoulder as I led them into the sitting room.
‘Just take off your jackets. Make yourself at home. Can I get you tea or coffee? Water, juice?’
‘Coffee,’ they answered in unison.
I nodded, all nervous energy. ‘No probs.’
But Cole’s appearance in the doorway stopped me in my tracks. I put my arm around his shoulders and led him back towards Mick and Olivia. ‘Cole, this is Mick and his daughter, Olivia.’
Mick grinned at him and stuck his hand out. Cole took it tentatively. ‘Nice to meet you,’ he murmured, letting his hair hang in his eyes so he didn’t have to look directly at them.
‘You too. Jesus, you’re the spitting image of your dad when he was your age.’
‘He’s nothing like Dad,’ I said tersely.
Olivia’s eyebrows rose and she shot a look at her father before she said admonishingly, ‘Way to go, Dad.’
Looking uncomfortable, Mick sighed. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’
Way to go, Jo
. ‘I know.’ I waved him off, feeling bad for my waspishness. ‘I’m a little sensitive around that subject.’
‘Understood.’
‘Cole, I’m Olivia.’ She stuck her hand out and Cole’s cheekbones flushed a little as they shook hands. ‘It’s good to meet you.’ She glanced around the sitting room, her eyes brimming with approval. ‘You guys have a really nice place.’
‘Jo does all the decorating.’ Cole surprised me as he
informed her about that almost enthusiastically. ‘The wallpapering, painting, sanding … everything.’
‘I’m impressed.’
I felt Uncle Mick’s smiling eyes on me. ‘All my teaching stuck with you, eh?’
Embarrassed, I shrugged. ‘I like decorating.’
‘Aye, we know.’ Mum’s voice had me sucking in my breath as we all turned to watch her shuffle into the sitting room. ‘You do it often enough.’ Cole and I exchanged glances, utterly taken aback by her appearance. She hadn’t just showered; she’d gotten dressed. Her hair was blow-dried smooth, she had some make-up on and she was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that were loose on her frail body, and a black silk shirt I’d bought her for Christmas even though I never thought she’d wear it. To us she looked better than she had done in ages, but when I glanced back at Uncle Mick I could see the shock in his eyes at her appearance.
He stepped past us and towered over Mum, who gave him a small smile. ‘Fiona. It’s good to see you.’
She nodded, her mouth trembling a little. ‘It’s been a long time, Michael.’
‘Aye.’
‘You look almost the same.’
‘You don’t, darling,’ he replied softly, something like anguish in his voice.
Mum lifted her shoulders in a gesture of resignation. ‘I did what I could.’
Uncle Mick didn’t say anything, but I could see from the hard set of his jaw that he didn’t think she’d done enough. We would be in agreement on that one.
‘Dad.’ Olivia moved to his side, taking his hand reassuringly, and I felt the last of my resentment towards her disappear. How could I resent someone who so obviously adored Mick?
Uncle Mick tightened his hand around his daughter’s. ‘Fiona, this is my girl, Olivia.’
And just like that it all went to pot.
Mum pursed her lips as her eyes drifted over Olivia. ‘Aye, she looks like that American piece you had a thing with.’
I squeezed my eyes shut in mortification and heard Cole’s low groan beside me.
‘Fiona,’ Mick scolded her.
‘Dad, it doesn’t matter.’
‘Pfft.’ Mum looked past her to me. ‘You told me it would just be him. I’m going back to bed. Leave me some dinner later.’
I nodded, my muscles tense as we waited for her to leave. When her bedroom door slammed closed, I sighed. ‘Sorry, Uncle Mick. That’s about as good as it gets with her. Olivia, I’m sorry …’
‘Forget it.’ Olivia waved me off. ‘It’s not a problem.’
‘I can’t believe that’s the same woman.’ Mick shook his head as he strode across the room to take a seat, his body seeming heavy with the shock. ‘I just can’t believe it.’
I thought of how Mum had actually behaved fairly well, at least until she saw Olivia, but I didn’t want to tell Mick that. ‘Believe it.’
Like a turtle that had poked its head out for a little sunshine only to discover that it was raining, Mum retreated
back into her shell even worse than before. She rarely left her room, a crate of alcohol was delivered to the flat, and the only way I knew she was alive was that the food I’d leave for her disappeared. Anytime I knocked to check on her, she grunted at me to go away.
I wanted it to be black and white. I wanted to hate her for hitting Cole and not give a shit whether she lived or died, but I found I just couldn’t abandon her entirely.
Cam said there came a time when we had to let some people go. There was no helping them, and attempting to would just pull you into the mire with them.
It was easier said than done. Despite all of our ugly encounters, she was my mum and there was still a part of me that wanted her to care more about us than she did about herself. I knew I had to let her go. I knew it. For Cole and also for me. When it came time to leave her, I would. But I would take the guilt with me.
Uncle Mick had said he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible and he hadn’t been lying. That Saturday Cole, Cam, Olivia, Mick and I met in the Grassmarket for a pub lunch. I learned that Olivia had been a librarian in the States, but much like Cam, she had been made redundant due to budget issues. Olivia was warm and funny and extremely hard not to like, and I could envision her getting along well with both Joss and Ellie.
Lunch was fun and I could tell Mick approved of Cole and Cam’s close friendship, as he kept shooting me looks that said as much. We took a stroll down the busy spring streets of the city, wandering up Victoria Street to George IV Bridge, and then taking Olivia down the Royal Mile. I
took some photographs of her and Mick standing on the Mile and then more as we travelled back towards New Town. We walked along Princes Street Gardens and I got some great shots of them together by the Ross Fountain with Edinburgh Castle towering over them in the background. It was a good day, a relaxing day, and as I walked behind them, Cam’s arm around my waist, I forgot about all my worries for a while.