Doubt (The Connected Series Book 1) (9 page)

“Sure we can, we can do whatever you want.” He presses play and
Just The Way You Are
starts up.

 “I like this one” he whispers as he snuggles into my neck.

 “And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while, coz Soph you’re amazing, just the way you are...” he sings softly in my ear, making goose bumps raise over my skin.

 “I don’t think those are quite the words... But I love them all the same.” I smile, turning my head to kiss his lips. 

“I love you Sophie.” 

“I love you more.”

Chapter Eight 

I am sitting in my flat, looking at pictures of Doug on my phone, tears running down my cheeks. We had decided to say goodbye on Tuesday morning, in the hopes this wouldn’t happen. But knowing he was sitting in his flat and I was sitting alone in mine was too much to bear. I jump in my car and drive over to Doug’s late Tuesday night. The look on his face when he opens his door is enough to floor me. He pulls me into his apartment and kisses me, pushed up against the door. 

“I thought we weren’t going to do this.” he searches my tear stained face for an answer.

 “I know, but I can’t sit in my flat knowing you’re here alone and leaving for five days tomorrow. I want to make the most of it, Doug, tell me you feel the same?” Doubt suddenly floods my mind, maybe he doesn’t want me here.

“Of course I do, you don’t even need to ask that.” he pulls me into his embrace, resting his cheek on the top of my head. 

“Can I stay with you? Tonight?” tears flood my eyes and I can’t speak. 

“I’d love nothing more.” he takes my hand and leads me up the stairs to his room.

The blinds were open and the room is in darkness. London twinkles up at me.
U2
is playing over the sound system. I feel the crackle of need between us, like an electric current. We lock eyes on each other. I can’t remember who steps forward first but we are all hands and tongues, his hands in my hair, moving my head to the right angle to kiss me, my hands are wrapped around his neck, pulling him to me. We stumble over to the bed, undressing as we go, needing, more than ever, to be close to each other, skin on skin. 

“I love you.” I pant as I lay back, letting Doug settle between my thighs, “I love you, so much.”

He takes my hand, linking our fingers, placing them at the side of my head, as he slowly enters me. He moves, slowly, never taking his eyes off mine. It is intense, like I’ve never experienced before. It is intimate and all consuming. 

Looking into each other’s eyes, Doug nods his head and I know he is close, I free my hands and take his face between them, holding the most precious thing in the world to me between my hands. We come, together, the sounds of our mutual release and groans filling the apartment. 

“Sophie...” Doug rests his head on my chest, getting his breath back. 

“Doug?” sensing there is something wrong, I hold him closer to me.

“I.... “ I hold my breath, waiting. 

“I... you’re everything to me.” I release my breath in a rush.

“You’re everything to me too.” I run my hands up and down his spine, feeling him relax. 

“You’ve got an early flight, shall we go to sleep?” I whisper. He nods and rolls off me, lying on his side, he pulls me into his chest. The music has stopped. 

“I’ll miss you.” he whispers into the darkness. Tears pool in my eyes, a lump in my throat, I snuggle closer, barely able to reply.

“I’ll miss you too.”

After a while his breathing slows and I know he is asleep. I don’t know how long I lie there, surrounded by Doug, silent tears falling into the pillow. Something has just changed between us. I can feel it.

***

There are tears the next morning, after an amazing time together, it makes saying goodbye even worse. Looking down at me, Doug wipes the tears away with his thumbs.

“Its only five days, it will fly by, I promise” he doesn’t look convinced and my heart clenches. 

“I’ll be okay. Will you phone me when you land?” I cling to any little bit of hope I can, knowing I will hear his voice soon. 

“I promise.” he smiles at me. Pressing his lips to mine he hugs me a little tighter. 

“I have to go, or I’ll miss my flight. Don’t be sad while I’m gone okay, we will speak every day, as much as you want. I’ll be back before you know it.” I wipe my eyes and smile.

 “And we have the charity dinner to look forward to when you’re back.” he smiles.

“Exactly. I’ll speak to you later.” he picks up his bag and we walk towards the front door. 

“You have a key, stay here whenever you want.” he opens the door and calls the lift.

“I love you Sophie, don’t forget that.” Leaning against the door, I wipe my eyes as fresh tears pool. 

“I love you too.” the lift arrives and he steps in, flashing me his knicker dropping smile.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” the lift door closes and starts to descend and I stare, tears running down my face at the space he was standing just minutes ago. 

Its only five days Sophie, you can do it.
 

***

I shower and get ready for my day. I’m having lunch with Miley and we are having a rare day of shopping together as its the holidays for school. I jump in my car and head over to Miley’s house. Ringing on the bell my phone buzzes in my bag. Fishing it out just as the door opens.

“I just text you! Come in.” she laughs.

I’m ushered in and we head to the kitchen. The kitchen is the centre of Miley and Jonathan’s house. It’s warm, cosy and has the most fabulous scrubbed wooden table. Whenever I come over, we always end up in here. 

“So, Doug’s gone for the next five days. Are you okay?” she sits down opposite me and grabs my hand. 

“I’ll be okay.” I’m an emotional wreck this morning and her kindness only makes me want to burst into tears.

“Of course you will, I don’t doubt that. But are you okay, now?” lifting my head to meet her eyes I answer the only way I can with Miley, honestly. 

“No. I miss him and it feels like he has been gone years not a couple of hours Miley.” she stands up and wraps me in her arms.

“Doug text this morning, he told me how you were when he left. Told me to do whatever it is I do to make you smile. So that’s what I plan to do.” she kisses my cheek and wipes the tears away.

“Something changed last night,” I start trying to explain the feelings I had when we were together, while Miley puts the kettle on. 

“It was like nothing I ever felt before, it was more than having sex Miley,
shit
, it was more than making love. Something happened. Afterwards... I swear he wanted to tell me something, then he stopped himself.” filling our cups, she brings them over to the table.

“Sounds like something pretty special, Soph. Do you feel like, you want things to move on from where they are?”

 I sigh “I feel like... Well... I feel like I need to be with him all the time. That living in separate places is too far away.” 

“So, you want to move in together? Ask him. I’ve seen the way he is with you, the looks, the touching, doing everything in his power to make sure you’re okay. He will want this too, Sophie, believe me.”

Reaching for my phone, I wake it up so I can see the picture on the screen. It is a photo of Doug and I. It was taken last summer. We are in Green Park, sitting on the grass having a picnic with Miley and Jonathan. Doug sitting behind me, arms wrapped around me, I am settled in-between his legs, we are both looking into the camera, huge smiles on our faces. It was a perfect day. 

“I’ll ask him when he gets back.” 

*

Shopping with Miley is just what I need. We laugh, we try on a million different outfits and only buy three but that is how we do shopping. I am exhausted by the time I get home. I’m just stepping into the flat when my phone rings, hoping it is Doug, I reach into my bag and answer straight away. 

“Hello?”  

“Loafy” I laugh.

 “Harry! How are you? Where are you? And why haven’t you called in forever?”

I am delighted to hear my brother on the phone. Harry is two years younger than me and is off traveling the world. 

“Well, I’ve been kinda busy, but I’m coming home for a while in a couple of weeks, any chance I can stay with you?” 

“You’re coming home? Of course you can, do mum and dad know?” I walk into the bedroom, dumping my purchases on the bed and removing my boots. 

“Not yet, but I thought I would check I could stay with you first, maybe we could drive down to see them together?” 

“Sounds like a great idea. When are you back?” 

“The 21st. Could you pick me up from the airport?”

 “Any other favours you want to ask me?” I sigh.

“Not that I can think of, pleeeeeeease Loafy?” I laugh as he calls me by my nickname as a child again. 

“Sure, text me the flight details and I will be there.” 

“Will do. See you soon, I gotta go.” there is a crackle and the line goes dead. My baby brother, always so quick to get off the phone once he has what he wants. 

***

“Sophie, I’m sorry. My battery died and the meeting that was supposed to be later in the day got moved forward so I didn’t have time to call.” Its 8 o’clock before I hear from Doug and he sounds stressed. 

“It doesn’t matter. How is everything there?” I’m lying on the sofa, wearing Doug’s t shirt which he left here. 

“All okay. Busy. But okay. How was your day with Miley?” 

“Really good. I got the most gorgeous underwear set and a couple of other things, if you’re really lucky I will show you when you get back.” 

“I look forward to that. What are you doing?”

“Nothing, I was just reading. You?”

“I was just going to take a shower. It’s been a long day.” he suddenly sounds exhausted. 

“Go have your shower, Doug, you sound exhausted. We can chat tomorrow.” 

“I’m fine, I want to hear your voice.” his voice is like sex, deep, low, husky. I’m surprised to feel a sudden wetness between my legs. 

“Doug... “ 

“Yeah?” his voice rumbles down the phone.

 “I’m so wet for you right now.” he inhales sharply.

“Really? Why?” I slide my hand down my chest, and slip it under the hem of the t shirt.

“Your voice, it turns me on.” continuing my journey, I reach my breast and squeeze. I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips.

“Are you...
touching yourself
?” he chokes out, his voice filled with arousal now too.

“Yes, but I would rather it was you.”

 “Oh god, I would too.” I hear something drop to the floor and wonder what he is doing.

 “What was that?” 

“My belt, I need to take my trousers off. I’m stiff just thinking about what you’re doing.” the picture that is in my head turns me on even more. 

“I wish I could see you.” my hand wanders down to my knickers and slips inside. I really am wet. 

“You can. Hang-up.” The line goes dead and I’m left with my mouth open and one hand inside my knickers. My phone rings again, but this time, it alerts me to a FaceTime... From Doug. His gorgeous face fills my screen and I answer. 

“God you’re beautiful” he says, looking straight at me.

“I knew I loved you for a reason, this is genius.” I bring the screen closer to my face and smile.

“Show me.” he commands. 

“Show you, what?” I reply.

 “What you’re doing. Show me.” I feel hot all over at his request, but don’t hesitate to lower the phone so he can see my hand disappearing into my knickers.

 “Fucking hell, Sophie, that is so hot. Can you take your knickers off? I want to see you touch yourself.”

Moaning, I prop the phone up on the coffee table, stepping in front of it, I lift his t shirt over my head and pull my knickers down my thighs. I can see his face, his eyes burning with need, watching every movement. 

“Now I want to see you.” I snap the phone back to my face and wait.

He has his shirt and trousers off and is standing there in his boxer briefs. Slowly, he lowers the phone and reaches for his waist band. Pushing them off his hips he grasps himself, wrapping his big hand around his huge erection. I can see his chest rising and falling rapidly, his hand moves slowly up and down the length of him. 

“Sophie....” he husks out my name, sitting down on the sofa and giving me a closer view of his cock. 

“I need to see you, touch yourself for me.”

Needing to touch myself too, I prop the phone back on the coffee table and lie back, resting my feet on the coffee table, either side of the phone opening myself to him. 

“Start with your clit, Sophie. Circle it, just like I would.”

I do as he asks; running my hand down my stomach till it reaches my throbbing folds. Biting my lip as my finger comes in to contact with my little bundle of nerves, causing my back to arch and my breath to hitch. I fix my eyes on my phone and watch as Doug strokes himself.