Don't Tempt Me (26 page)

"I don't know," he said slowly. "But that alone is different for me. With other women, I've always known going in that it would be short-term. With you, though ... I don't know anything."

Her chest grew so tight, she could hardly breathe. He was offering her the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world. A chance for family, belonging, love. Not a promise, but a possibility. Only ... what if she reached out and it vanished? "I'm sorry, it's too risky. I have more to lose than you."

"Do you? I didn't realize broken hearts came in different sizes."

"Like I could ever break your heart." She tried to laugh, but couldn't. Needing air, she turned away. "I have to go." Panic sent her hurrying toward the door.

"Jackie," he called.

She glanced over her shoulder. He stood in the middle of the kitchen, looking strangely alone. But it was an illusion. Adrian wasn't alone. Was he?

"I'm serious about wanting to give this a try even with the complications. This isn't just fun and games for me anymore."

Her throat closed and she had to swallow. Everything in her cried out to stay, to run into his arms and hold on tight.

Nothing good ever lasts.

"I'm sorry." She turned back to the door, and stood for a while, her body shaking. "I need to go." She rushed out the door.

~ ~ ~

Adrian forced himself to stay in the kitchen as long as he could stand it, then he headed for the front of the inn, needing one last glimpse of Jackie before she sailed away. He stopped short of the front door, though, realizing she'd see him if he stood on the veranda, which would only make him feel like more of a lovesick loser ---an experience he could happily have lived without.

Veering to his right, he strolled casually into the gift shop. Knickknacks, books, tea sets, and dolls filled the shelves and table displays.

"Hey, Adrian," Allison called from her perch behind the antique cash register where she was embroidering a pillowcase. "Are you done with your baking already?"

"No, I just thought I'd take a little break. You know, see what's going on down at the beach."

"Well, if you can figure it out, let me know. It all looks pretty boring from here."

"So I hear," he mumbled, moving one of the lace curtains aside. He could see Jackie on the quarterdeck. She'd changed back into her pirate getup and was striding about, barking out orders. She looked so tough, but he knew the vulnerability she hid beneath the surface. Why wouldn't she let him in? He would never intentionally hurt anyone, especially not her.

"Scott talked to Carl earlier," Allison said behind him. "He thinks they may start dredging as early as tomorrow."

"That's nice," he said absently.

"Are you all right?"

"Hmm?" He pulled his attention away from the window long enough to glance over his shoulder. "What was that?"

She frowned at him. "Is everything all right? You've seemed so distracted all day."

"I'm fine." He turned back to the window in time to see the ship move away from the pier. A sense of loss tore at his chest. He wanted to reach out and pull her back. Realizing he couldn't, that he had no control over the situation, filled him with a level of frustration he'd never felt before. "I was just wondering, though, hypothetically, what do people do if they fall for someone who doesn't, you know ... fall back?"

"Well, now, that's an odd question."

"I'm just curious, is all."

"All right, let me think." She studied her embroidery, then resumed stitching. "If you're a woman, you eat copious amounts of chocolate, watch movies that make you cry, and talk on the phone to your girlfriends for hours and hours about what a jerk the man is, what a blind fool, how unworthy, and they tell you there's someone out there who is much better and far more deserving."

"And if you're a man?"

She scrunched her face in thought. "Contact sports and beer?"

He turned back to the window as the
Pirate's Pleasure
cleared the line of palm trees and disappeared toward the Gulf. Desperation and helplessness nearly choked him. Dear God, was this what unrequited love felt like? Was this the pain Jackie feared awaited her if she gave him a chance?

"Alli?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Do you think I've ever ... hurt a woman? Without meaning to?"

"The truth?" She laughed. "Adrian, I don't think you've been with a woman who didn't fall madly in love with you and sob into her pillow when you walked away."

The thought of his past girlfriends, each wonderful in her own way, feeling even a portion of this pain crushed him. Could his sister be right? "Well, you're wrong on one score, at least."

"Oh?" Alli asked.

"There is one woman who didn't fall for me."

Alli went still, then looked up from her stitching. "Oh no ... Adrian, you said you weren't interested in Jackie. Please tell me you didn't sleep with her anyway."

He didn't answer.

"How could you?"

He rested his back against the wall. "Fairly easily, actually."

"Well, don't hurt her, okay?" Alli jammed her needle in the cloth, securing it. "I have a feeling she's been hurt enough."

"
Me
hurt
her
?" He came off the wall. "What about
her
hurting
me
?"

His sister laughed. "If I thought you were serious, I'd say you're overdue in the rejection department."

"Well, I like that," he grumbled, pacing the gift shop.

"Oh dear," she said after a while. "You are serious."

He laughed, since the only other option was breaking something, and he really didn't think Allison would appreciate that.

"Oh, Adrian." She leapt off the stool and held her arms open. "In that case, you let the little sister you've helped through so much hold you for a change."

"That's okay." His laughed sounded strained.

Ignoring him, she slipped her arms about his waist and laid her head against his chest. Rather than ease his turmoil, the embrace made him ache even more. "If it helps, I assure you rejection isn't lethal."

He wasn't entirely sure about that. What hurt the most, though, was wondering who Jackie had to hug her when her heart ached. If only he knew for sure that things could work out between them, he'd push harder. But what if he hurt her more in the end, exactly as she feared?

Chapter 19

In the days that followed, Jackie didn't talk to Adrian at all. Whether by chance or design, he never answered the phone when she called the inn. She nearly asked for him a few times, but always lost her nerve.

Two weeks of silence drove home just how much she'd enjoyed their phone conversations. He understood her and accepted her in a way no one ever had before, except maybe for Ti. But that was different. Ti didn't make her laugh as freely as Adrian did, or make her feel more alive with just the sound of his voice.

The ache of longing reached its peak the morning the special segment was scheduled to play on
Good Morning America
. She sat in the officers' lounge outside her cabin, sipping coffee as she kept one eye on the TV.

She still couldn't believe Adrian had suggested they date with the hope that it might not be temporary. Good Lord, date Adrian St. Claire? The sexiest man she'd ever met? But he wasn't just sexy. He was funny and generous and kind. Having a man that wonderful want a relationship with her was like having someone stand before her holding out a beautifully wrapped gift box they claimed was filled with joy, and saying: "Here, you want it?"

Of course her instinct was to snatch her hands back and ask: "What's the catch?" What had he expected? That she'd shrug and say, "Okay"?

She rubbed her forehead to relieve a tension headache that had hounded her for days. If she could just figure out the catch, then maybe she'd have the courage to reach for what he offered. Otherwise, she was half convinced she'd unwrap that pretty box and find it filled with snakes.

Unfortunately, her rejection had hurt Adrian's feelings and she had no idea how to fix that.

Footsteps sounded on the deck, letting her know Ti had arrived to watch the show with her. She smoothed the worry lines from her brow a second before he clambered down through the aft hatch. "Did I make it in time?"

"Just barely. I think we're up next." She glanced at the TV. "They just cut to commercial, so you should have time to grab some coffee if you hurry."

"Great" He ducked into the galley and came back with a steaming cup in hand. He'd barely taken a seat beside her when an image of the
Pirate's Pleasure
appeared on the screen.

"Dat us! Turn it up!" Ti said.

She grabbed the remote and turned up the volume as she stared in awe at the screen. Even though she'd worried about the special, the sight of her ship coming into the cove at Pearl Island under sail power sent a thrill racing through her.

The voice of a female reporter invited the audience to join them for a trip to a magical island in search of buried treasure. Jackie sat forward, both hands wrapped around her coffee cup, waiting for any mention of her name. Fortunately, they focused on the history of the powder horn. The reporter interviewed Carl Ryder on the beach, asking about the excavation and what they hoped to find. He looked ruggedly handsome in his black wet suit with the cove behind him and the wind ruffling his sun-bleached hair. Unfortunately, his manner before a camera could cure insomnia.

They cut quickly to the inn, saying buried treasure wasn't all guests might find while staying on the island, since a ghost supposedly haunted the old mansion. Allison, dressed in a Southern belle costume, welcomed them on the veranda and led them inside for a tour.

"The St. Claires got to love dis," Ti said.

"No kidding," Jackie agreed, knowing they probably had a TV going in the kitchen even in the midst of serving breakfast. "You can't buy advertising this good."

"Not bad for us, either, since dey start with a shot of da ship."

"True."

As Allison led the camera toward the back of the house, the voice-over cut back in, claiming that if old sailing ships, buried treasure, and magic ghosts weren't enough to entice guests to this special getaway, there was the food, sumptuously prepared by Chef Adrian St. Claire.

Sumptuously prepared?
Jackie raised a brow. The woman made it sound as if the chef were sumptuous, not the food. When Adrian appeared on the screen, Jackie had to admit the word fit.

He smiled into the camera, dimples set to stun as he explained what he was preparing. Jackie's heart ached watching him, knowing he'd hammed it up to shift attention away from her. And he certainly hadn't exaggerated about the show he'd put on. When she compared it to Carl's interview, she could see why they'd decided to show more than just a few brief seconds of him cooking. In fact, they spent half the segment in the kitchen with him showing off.

She remembered him saying he'd wanted to be an actor. Too bad he hadn't pursued it He'd have been a heartthrob, no doubt about it.

But then she never would have met him.

The thought brought back her earlier tug-of-war, but with a new layer. How could she even think of dating a man with that much natural charisma on top of his incredible good looks? She'd never considered herself lacking in confidence when it came to men, but Adrian was in a whole different league than the average Joe on the street. Did she really want to deal with the constant competition? And what about faithfulness? She'd always thought men had a hard enough time with monogamy; how much harder would commitment be for a man who had women throwing themselves at his feet?

She'd be crazy to get involved with him.

So why couldn't she stop thinking about him and wanting to say yes?

The show cut back to the main set where the anchors thanked the reporter in the field for the piece on Pearl Island, then moved on to the next topic. Jackie clicked off the TV, completely depressed.

Ti turned to her with a beaming smile. "If dat don't sell cruise tickets, I don't know what will."

"Yes, it was very good," she agreed gloomily.

"Okay." He looked at her. "Why da worries on your face?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not worried." She straightened the sailing magazines scattered across the old trunk. "In fact, I'm ecstatic. They showed our ship and mentioned the name but left us out of it. It was perfect."

"I don't mean da show. You mopin' for da past two weeks." He looked at the TV then back at her. "I take it things not go well between you and Adrian?"

"I don't know what you mean." Snatching up her empty mug, she headed for the galley. "There's nothing going on between us."

"Jackie, dis is me." Ti followed her to the coffee machine. "I see da two of you. Dat mon want you, and you want him."

"Okay, so we've got a healthy dose of lust. So what?"

"Dat what he call it? Lust?"