Don't Read in the Closet: Volume Four (87 page)

better?”

Anson blinked rapidly a few times, making sure this was not the

dream but the reality. It must be real. His mate sat on the bed, looking

down at him with so much concern. And perhaps love too? Mates

knew each other immediately; they wasted almost no time on the

small things. Instead, they went straight to formalities. “You really are

here with me? You’re not a figment of my overactive imagination?

You healed me, for real?”

Relief appeared in the form of a small chuckle Devon could not

hold back. “I am here, little one. I healed you as much as I can. What

is going on? Why did this happen?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 524

Anson still lay in a fetal position, his body made to appear even

slighter in the midst of the large bed. “You were with me in my

dreams. I didn’t want you to leave me again. I’m sorry for kissing

you. I truly have never kissed anyone before you, but I acted brazenly

and had no right to push myself on you that way.”

Devon leaned down and kissed the top of Anson’s head, his

forehead, the bridge of his nose, then said, “It takes two to tango.” At

the look of confusion on Anson’s face, Devon continued, “Never

mind. Just know I’m sorry for this. If I had known, I wouldn’t have

kissed you.”

Anson turned away and closed his eyes. Devon may be his mate

but he was a stubborn fool. “Why did you come back here, if not to

claim me?”

“You weren’t well. You needed help.”

“And that’s the only reason?”

“What more is there? I couldn’t let my mate perish. My

responsibility is to take care of you. I did what is required of me as

Healer and mate.”

Anson tuned him out. He had heard enough. This would never

work out. “Why didn’t you just leave me? I was so close to the

Beyond; then you pulled me back. I was so close. It has to be better

than this.”

Devon stood and looked down at him. “Anson, it’s my calling to

heal and my job as your mate to protect you.”

“That may be so, but I want more from my mate than just duty,

Devon.”

“What is it you want? I’ll do my best to give that to you.”

Anson looked shyly at him and said, “I can turn your sorrow into

treasured gold. You have my heart in your hands. I want love.

Nothing else matters if I have that. We can be mates, yes, but without

love, what’s the point?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 525

“We’ll be okay once we get to my house. There are plenty of

angels there who will love and take care of you. You will want for

nothing, and when I’m home, we’ll be together. But you’ll be safe, I

promise you.”

“You do not love me. Why do you want me if you can’t love me?

I want that in my life, Devon. I know we do not know each other well,

but we will. Mates are mates for all eternity; how can that be, without

love?”

“Anson, you do not know what I feel. I care about you; I want to

protect you and spend time with you. Is that not enough?”

Anson sat on the edge of the bed and shook his head. He looked

up at Devon with tears in his eyes, his heart breaking into pieces too

small to count. He needed love. That’s all there was to it. If his mate

could not give that to him now, perhaps he would in time. But

knowing this, Anson could not be with the handsome blonde angel. “I

must stay here. Perhaps if you and I get to know each other, you will

come to love me as I know I love you. I’ve accepted in my heart you

are my mate. I do not fight what I feel here,” he said, laying his hand

on his chest over his heart. “Or with what this tells me here.” He used

his index finger to point to his head. “For all of my existence, I’ve

been taught about and prepared for my mating, for my service to him.

All I’ve ever wanted in return is love. If you cannot give that to me,

that’s okay. I will be fine. But I must ask one thing of you.”

Devon sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt this angel,

but he could not give him what he so desperately wanted. Devon just

could not do that. “What is it?”

“Before you leave me here, I would ask that you mark me. In that

mark, my heart’s blood will do no more than trickle and I can survive

for a little while. I won’t be happy but it’s better than nothing.”

Devon shook his head. “I must confess I do not understand much

of this. If it’s the mate bond and our kiss causing this suffering, why

am I not affected as well?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 526

“As a Healer, your body is capable of repairing itself. Though

your heart cannot bleed, you will find that as time goes by, you will

begin to lose the ability to heal others and then eventually, yourself. It

is a cycle we will both succumb to, only I will decline faster,” Anson

whispered. “Your mark will slow that for me.”

“More reason you should come with me to my house. I will not let

anything happen to you.”

Anson shook his head. “I must stay here where I am loved. I

release you, Devon. I want you to go and serve Gagda and to know

that I’ll be fine.”

“Anson, I cannot leave you here. I am sorry. Mates cannot be

without each other for long, even I know this to be true. I will never

hurt you. My house will provide for you and treat you with kindness,

and when I have assignments, you can come with me.”

Anson looked down, disappointment clear not only in his body

language but in his face as well. He would not let his mate see him

cry. He refused to try to force something from Devon that the angel

himself was not willing to give on his own. Perhaps Anson was

expecting too much too soon; after all, they’d only met a short while

ago. Love would come at some point, of that Anson was sure. He

hoped he could wait that long, though. What Devon didn’t know was

that once the love blood pumped from Anson’s heart, it needed

nurturing or he’d wither away like a dead flower petal. Once love

came to the angels of Anson’s line and their submissive tendencies

woke, nothing could be done to stop the deterioration of the

submissive angel, unless his mate loved him.

“Anson, if I leave you here, will this happen again?”

Anson shook his head and stood up. He would not force the

angel’s love by using pity. If he was destined to perish, then that is

what he was going to do. He looked up at Devon’s handsome face and

gave a tiny, sad smile. “You do not intend to mark me, do you?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 527

“When we have our ceremony, I shall do my duty to you. I am not

so cold as to be indifferent to you.”

“Please, go away, Devon.”

“I cannot leave you here. I was sent to find you and bring you

back. I must fulfill my duty to my home. They expect it of me.”

“I cannot leave and go to a strange house to be with a mate who

does not want me. If you will not mark me, then please, I beg of you,

take your leave. I am tired and sore and need to rest. Thank you for

checking up on me and for healing me. With rest I will get stronger.”

He turned and walked on unsteady legs to his bedroom door. Opening

it, eyes glued to the floor, he said, “Please, go now.

“We don’t even know each other, not really, other than we are

mates. Isn’t that odd to you? How in the universe are we supposed to

allow that dictate to rule our lives?”

“For me, it’s the most natural feeling there is. I cannot answer

your question. My guess is that you need to find yourself. When you

do, I hope it won’t be too late. Goodbye, Devon.”

Devon did growl. He took Anson in his arms and hugged him, his

arms wrapped protectively around him. “I care about you. I do not

understand why that is, but I do feel that in my heart. Is it not

enough?”

Anson hung loosely in his mate’s arms. No matter how much his

heart bled for Devon, he wouldn’t keep him from doing as he wished.

Sadly, Anson would never know what it was like to have a lover. “Is

your lover good to you? He better be or I’ll be upset. You are a good

soul, Devon. You deserve the best. I need to sleep now. Please, go.”

Gordon stood in the hallway, his blood boiling in rage. Never

would he understand a submissive Angel.
Never.
Anson thought

Devon had a lover and all he said was that the other angel had better

take care of his traitorous mate. Devon did not deserve Anson. He

spun away and left the apartment.

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 528

Devon let Anson go and helped him lay back on the bed, covering

him with the heavy comforter. “I do not have a lover, Anson. He was

but a friend I helped. I’ll come back in a few days to see how you’re

doing. Please, think about coming to my home. They will take care of

you.”

“I do not want a community to take care of me. I only want and

need one and if he is incapable, I will do it my way.” Devon knew

nothing about a submissive angel, and that was a disaster waiting to

happen.

“What is your way?”

“I do not owe you more. Please, leave me.”

Devon nodded and did as Anson requested.

****

Devon sat on the porch step, suddenly exhausted. Fighting with

Gordon was not what he needed or wanted to do any longer. “He

asked me to leave. I tried to get him to come with me, but he refused.

I healed him so he’ll do better.”

Gordon walked to stand in front of him. “So, just like that, you’re

running away? Your work here is done and that’s that. Must be easy

for you, huh? I mean, this is what you do all the time, is it not?”

“I can’t force him to come with me. What would you have me

do?”

“If I have to tell you, you’re never going to get it.”

Devon looked up and said, “I will come back when I can to check

on him. When the Druantia grant our union, I shall be back for him, to

become his eternity mate as written by Gagda. I’ll see you soon.”

“What makes you think yourself worthy of him?”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 529

“He’s my mate. I have a duty to him. I will be back to check on

him.” Devon stood and walked to the end of the path before he

stopped and said, “I will be back.”

At first, Gordon felt guilty for his interference, but after Devon’s

performance, he was glad he’d made the call, for he would not watch

his young charge waste away again. It was only luck Devon had been

in this plane to get to Anson as quickly as he had. If he had been

elsewhere, the chances of Anson still being among them were low.

“By the time you get back, it’ll be too late. I’ll have lost him because

you are a fool. Well, you carry on and I’ll do what I must to keep

Anson alive.”

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

Devon found himself on his knees before the Feitheoirs, the

Druantia, and the Abrafo, who’d taken him from his home in a

binding spell, making him an easy arrest. “I did nothing wrong.”

“No? You are doing a lot wrong from what I can see, young

Devon. You found your mate, did you not?”

“I did.”

“And have you come before us to ask permission for your

ceremony?”

“No, I have not.”

“Why is this?”

“I am not yet ready to mate.”

“Is that your choice?”

“No, it is not. It is Gagda’s. He feels I have not yet managed to

fully embrace the gift that has been given to me, and as such, feels I

do not deserve the honor of mating with the angel he has seen fit to

present to me.”

Don’t Read in the Closet – volume four 530

“We have word that young Anson nearly perished two months

ago. You saved him. You slowed his system down, for what reason?”

Devon’s head whipped up. “He’s my mate! I have no wish to see

him dead. I would have done that for anyone.”

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“You do not truly care for the subjects we assign to you. You