Divine and Dateless (17 page)

Chest heaving, I cupped his face and searched his gaze. "Why?" I begged. Great. A few seconds of knee fucking, and he’d reduced me to a whimpering puppy.

He pushed me off of him, and I fell onto the sofa with an unladylike grunt.

Coursing his fingers through his hair, he flashed a pained expression. "Because I refuse to take advantage of you, Ash."

I wanted to tell him maybe I wanted to be taken advantage of, or maybe I wanted to take advantage of him, but I didn't say a word as he excused himself and walked out my front door. Grim had made me feel like enough of a whore already, and I refused to beg for it. I draped a hand across my brow and moaned with the ache of unsated desire. I sure hoped they sold vibrators in Purgatory.

Damn. I should have bartered for some new bras yesterday, but Uncle said I needed to save those last slices of cheesecake. I frowned at my reflection in the foggy full-length mirror. In vain, I’d tried to poke the nipples back in. When that didn’t work, I’d attempted to reshape the bra with safety pins. That ended up in a punctured boob and lots and lots of swearing and crying. Note to self: when sticking a needle anywhere within the radius of your tit, angle the pointy side away from your nipple.

Other than the fact that my boobs could possibly poke the eyes out of any short people or tall children within a five-foot radius, I still loved my new wardrobe. The pastel pink dress with a rose belt buckle and little rose-shaped buttons cinched at the waist and flared at the hips. The tight bodice with oversized collar emphasized my “missiles” and the wide, flowing skirt masked my child-bearing hips. After trying on all of Grandma’s dresses last night, I convinced myself I’d been born in the wrong decade.

If only I’d lived in the era of pinup models instead of diet shakes and weight loss pills, I might have actually had a bit more self-confidence, and maybe, just maybe, a boyfriend who didn’t require batteries.

I spun a slow circle, admiring my long legs and those adorable matching pastel-pink pumps. I secretly hoped I’d pass Grim in the hall on my way to work. Inés had come over this morning and fixed my hair and makeup, rounding out what she called my “bombshell” look. She’d put up my hair, leaving just a few kinky strands at my nape, applied a tasteful amount of makeup, and then she pelted me with endless questions about my uncle, like did he have anyone significant waiting for him behind the Pearly Gates or just a valet? What did his valet look like? What had he done for a living? How did he die, and a million other questions.

By the end of my beauty treatment, I was convinced she’d offered to help me for the inside scoop on a potential boyfriend. Despite her incessant questions, her artistry had done the trick. Though I’d never considered myself a vain person, I had to admit I looked beautiful.

I was startled by a loud banging. Swearing under my breath, I stomped out of the bathroom and threw open the door. I knew who it was because Grim’s booming knock always rattled my walls, furniture, and eardrums.

“Sorry, Grim.” I said with an impatient flick of the wrist. “No time for kissing and groping. I have to get to work.”

Truthfully, I would have gladly made time for kissing and groping, but I knew it would just end in another pair of soaked panties and a frustrating lack of orgasms.

He stood there for a moment, looking exceptionally sexy in snug denim and a windbreaker jacket, and gawked at me. And when I say gawked, I mean his jaw was practically dragging the floor.

I shifted, suddenly uncomfortable in my skin as his gaze traveled the length of my body, lingering for an extra beat on my torpedo tits.

“By thunder,” he said on a slow exhale, “you’re stunning.”

Heat flamed my face like wildfire. “Thanks.” I averted my eyes, fumbling with the pink rose on my belt buckle. How did this guy manage to make me feel beautiful and desirable one moment and then walk away as if I was unappealing and discarded the next? And why, oh why, did I let his opinion affect me at all?

Grim must have come from my Grandma’s generation. That would explain why he didn’t hint that I needed to hit the treadmill more often, like Travis had said to me after I found out he was fucking our anorexic middle-aged professor. She was also the mother of three grown children nearly the same age as him, and a chain smoker. But that didn’t matter to Travis. She had somehow managed to squeeze her skanky ass into size three jeans, and she’d had just about every cosmetic surgery to lift things that were sagging and plump things that were shriveled. Plus, she had money. Lots of money. She’d ended up financing the remainder of his law school degree while I dropped out. Ashamed and heartbroken, I’d made the biggest mistake of my life and skulked away from my future like a dog with her tail between her legs. All because of a man.

“I brought you a map,” Grim said as he pushed his way into my apartment uninvited, as usual. “Inés told me your creditor didn’t give you one. You didn’t do something to anger him, did you?” He shot me an accusing look. If it wasn’t for his subtle smirk, I would have thought he was serious.

“Uhh….” I turned my gaze back to the buttons on my dress, pretending to adjust them as I followed him into the kitchen.

“Loveass is a weasel, anyhow,” he said, chuckling.

“About that,” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound like a petulant child. “Is there any way I can get a new creditor?”

Frowning, he shook his head. “Transferring creditors is nearly impossible. You’ll do best to try and stay on his good side.”

Damn. I’d kind of been hoping he’d use his Angel of Death connections and find me a new person to manage my eternal fate.

Grim pulled a little square map out of his pocket, unfolded it, and slapped it on the table. “I’ve circled all of the gluten-free restaurants in red and the Prayer Call Center in blue. You can take a taxi, but they charge a lot of credits. I suggest you walk. It’s only ten blocks.”

Ten blocks! The man obviously didn’t know how much I detested walking, or any amount of exercise that required the slightest degree of exertion. There was a reason I’d used that second-hand treadmill in my old apartment as a towel rack, and it wasn’t because the machine was broken.

“Oh, and I’ve marked the public restrooms.” He pointed to a big glaring X on the map, carefully averting his gaze, and from the looks of it, trying hard to mask a smile. “You don’t want to get lost and have another accident.”

Oh, God, can I die now? Correction: can I die again?

Maybe Purgatory had a Purgatory where I wouldn’t have to be subjected to this humiliation from my devastatingly sexy, and too-close-for-comfort, neighbor.

I snatched the map from the counter and tried to fold it back up, but I’d failed origami in art class, and I was never good at cutting on the dotted lines. Still, I needed to get this man the hell out of my apartment so I could suffer my shame in private. I forced creases to fold in the wrong direction and made new creases to get the damn thing back into a square. It ended up looking like a lopsided triangle. Close enough.

“Thanks again,” I said through a frozen smile as I nodded toward the door.

Hint, hint!

He casually shrugged, as if talking about my exploding anus was as commonplace as discussing the weather. “Don’t mention it.”

“I should probably get going.” I eyed the digital clock on my DVR player. It was already seven thirty, which meant I only had a half hour to walk ten blocks.

Before I had the chance to say no, he was handing me the coat and purse I had draped over the sofa. “I’ll walk you downstairs.” His grin was so wide, it was almost infectious. Almost. I still wondered, not for the first time, what happened to the Grim I’d met the night I died. The Grim who’d told me not to tell him how to do his job. The Grim who’d walked away from me without a backward glance.

Was he still being nice to me because of a stupid promise, or did he really like me?

I let him lead me to the elevator through our lobby. Every so often, I could feel the slight pressure of his hand on my back. I didn’t know what to think of that gesture. Was he staking his claim or afraid I needed guidance?

The first thing I noted when we stepped outside was it was misting rain. Oh, joy. Sure, I was used to gloomy weather in Seattle, but at least I’d had a car, albeit a crappy one, to get me to work, where I parked inside a dry garage. If I had to walk ten blocks in this, I’d be soaked to the bone, not to mention the humidity would make my already electrified hair look like a porcupine in a wind tunnel.

I turned to Grim with a pout. “You don’t happen to have a car, do you?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “Cars are expensive here. Besides, I never learned how to drive.”

Never learned how to drive?

Okay, maybe Grim was from before my grandma’s era, which would mean I’ve been making out with an old dude. A really old dude. And as much as I wanted to be grossed out, the thought of that old dude’s massive boner beneath snug denim and his hard as granite chest and perfectly kissable lips pretty much nullified any aversion I had to his age.

He might have been old, but he’d died young, hard, and solid. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, just as I heard a distinct bark come from the end of the street. My jaw fell open when I saw a blind man being led by a golden retriever. Dumbfounded, I gaped at them.

I held my breath as they walked past us, the dog wagging his tail as he guided his human across the street.

Why does he get his dog, and I don’t get mine?

Okay, that was a selfish thing to think. The guy obviously needed a dog more than I did. Maybe that kind of thinking was why I’d been initially assigned to level two, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d missed Jack for seventeen years, and as that familiar ache settled in my chest, I feared I’d miss him for an eternity.

“What’s wrong?” Grim asked as he settled a hand on my shoulder.

I turned to him, unable to mask the pain in my voice. “My uncle told me there were no dogs in Purgatory.”

“There aren’t usually. Occasionally, one slips in.”

“Why?” I breathed as I watched the pair get swallowed up by the busy work crowd on the other side of the road.

“Nobody knows why for sure, but some say they’ve got unfinished business.” Grim placed his hand on the small of my back again and nudged me to the corner. “Here’s your crossing. You’d better hotfoot it to the other side before the light changes.”

Hotfoot? What does that even mean?

“Just follow this street about nine more blocks.” He pointed in the direction the blind man and dog had gone. “It’s the biggest building on the block. Can’t miss it.”

“Thanks. I guess I’ll see you later.” I looked up at him through foggy eyes, not because I’d been crying but because the mist was turning into a heavy drizzle.

“Good luck,” he said. Then he did the most gentlemanly thing ever. He removed his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

I pulled it tightly around me, not just because the drizzle was cold, but because his jacket smelled like him, and feeling the warmth of his musk encircle me was the second best thing to a hug.

Geez. I watch too many chick flicks. I need to rent a karate movie tonight.

“May I call on you later?” he asked.

“Sure.” I shrugged, not wanting him to see how much his kindness had affected me. But it had. Despite the cold and gloomy weather, I had a whole freaking tropical island paradise floating inside that stupid heart of mine.

As I turned to walk across the street, he stopped me with a strong hand on my arm. “Oh, and one other thing.” His smile faded, replaced by the hard lines of the Grim I’d met the night of my death. “Whatever you do, do not tell anyone you came from the Penthouse.”

“Why?” I asked, but his sharp look was answer enough.

I said goodbye and made my way across the street, accidentally bumping shoulders with a few other pedestrians who kindly apologized. I’d been too distracted to watch where I was going. Too many thoughts were swirling around in my head, and they all revolved around Grim.

I had been cast out by God, a fallen angel, disgraced and humiliated. Though Inés had handled the news I'd come from Heaven fairly well, I suspected she’d taken me under her wing because of Grim. I wasn’t so sure others would be so forgiving.

Grim had done so much for me since I’d first arrived in Purgatory. What could I do to pay him back? I knew of one way, but I couldn’t get the guy to leave second base. I had no credits to give him, and I had the feeling he wouldn’t take them, anyway. This man was an enigma wrapped in a jerk, smothered in a delectable piece of man-meat, served with sides of confusion, humiliation, infatuation, and desire.

And damn me for wanting another taste.