“Some. I know I look like warmed-over crap, man. I feel like it too,” Ty answered, his voice hoarse but managing to sound flippant anyway. “It"s fine. You didn"t stay because Owen kicks in his sleep. Or to ask me about my sleep.”
“No,” Nick admitted readily. “You two work well together?”
“Zane?” Ty asked. He laughed again. “You wouldn"t think so from the outside, would you?”
“He doesn"t appear the type you usually get on board with, no. He sort of reminds me of that DOD guy—what was his name?”
“Pike?” Ty responded, uncertainty lacing his voice.
“Yeah! Ramrod straight, Ray-Bans, always holding a file.”
“No, man, Pike was an officious dick. Zane"s a good guy. He"s stellar. I trust him.”
“Good,” Nick said, so softly Zane almost didn"t hear it. He was silent for almost a minute, then added, “Was Pike the one we hung over the railing?”
Ty burst into laughter, the sound clear as a bell as it reached Zane"s ears. Nick"s laughter joined it. “Oh God, that was funny,” Ty murmured contentedly. “The screams.”
“Almost got the brig for it.”
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“Worth it,” Ty acknowledged.
There was another long silence, almost enough for Zane to retreat to the bathroom again. But Nick"s next question, seemingly out of nowhere, arrested his retreat.
“You still dreaming?” Nick asked, his voice lowered reverently like that of a man in church. Or a man with a secret.
Ty remained silent for several heartbeats. “Mostly it"s just the desert,” he finally answered, sounding somewhat troubled. “But it"s not bad, I"m just there. Don"t know which way is up, which way is safety, which way goes… back. I wake up tasting sand instead of blood, now.
They"re not like they used to be.”
Zane was intimately familiar with the results of some of Ty"s dreams and nightmares, and he knew about the desert. He snorted softly. He"d never asked Ty to tell him, and Ty had never offered.
“Don"t know which way is up” described his own situation pretty damn well right now. Lost. Lost in the dark instead of the sand. Maybe Ty really did understand, just a little bit.
He knew Ty and Nick had been close, very close, close born of blood and beer and sweat and tears and all of that clichéd
Band of
Brothers
shit that really
was
true. Zane just wondered if they were still that close and how it was possible he didn"t know about it after practically living in Ty"s pocket for almost half a year.
“How about you?” Ty asked. “You still dream?”
“Every once in a while,” Nick answered. He sounded almost haunted. “I still wake up screaming your name, man. Just like you never came back.”
“But I did,” Ty answered calmly.
Zane heard Nick snort. "And I dream about that damn table."
“Me too,” Ty admitted, the whispered words painful and drawn.
Shifting uncomfortably, Zane laid his cheek against the cool wood of the doorframe. Something had happened to them, to Ty and Nick, something like how New York City and a serial killer had happened to Ty and Zane. Something horrible enough to make Ty sound like that when he spoke of it.
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The silence below felt heavy with the past, and Zane"s mind strayed toward painful memories of his own before Nick pulled his attention back.
“Anyone but you, man, and I"d have died out there,” Nick said, his voice harsh and laid bare.
“We both would have,” Ty responded, his voice calm again, in stark contrast. “It"s back there, Nick. Stay right here.” Zane heard his knuckles rap the wooden table. “Come on,” he finally said gently, and Zane heard a chair being pushed back against the hardwood floor. “You can take the pullout. I"ll bunk with Garrett.”
“Hey, Ty? I may be drunk and I may be Irish, but I"m not stupid,”
Nick drawled, letting the words run into each other almost insolently. “I remember what on the brink looked like, and it had your eyes.”
Zane opened his eyes even though it was to complete darkness.
He ought to get into the bedroom now while he had the chance, ought to at least shut the bathroom door, ought to know better… but
on the
brink
… of what?
“Talk to me, Grady,” Nick urged, and after a moment of silence, he added, “I mean, Jesus, after what we"ve been through, if you can"t tell me, who can you tell?”
“There"s nothing wrong, O,” Ty insisted, his voice remarkably calm and honest. “I promise.”
“Okay,” Nick murmured, giving in and sounding unhappy about it.
Zane could hear Ty moving, steps slow and measured and not nearly as quiet as when he was sober. “Good night,” Ty said to Nick, the tone of the words effectively saying “don"t ask me again.”
Zane stepped inside the bathroom and pushed the door shut with a quiet snick, figuring Ty would be on his way up the stairs. Better for him to come out of the bathroom and be told where to sleep rather than picking the wrong place to be. He leaned back against the closed door, wondering about the tone of Ty"s voice. He sighed, wishing he hadn"t listened. He hadn"t heard anything inappropriate. In fact, he"d heard Ty say some pretty damn nice things about him. But it just raised more 198 | Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
questions he couldn"t get answers to. Shaking his head, he turned in place and reopened the door.
The impact with Ty"s body was almost immediate. Ty whuffed and wrapped his arms around Zane to catch his balance. “Slow down, Hoss,” Ty murmured. Zane could sense a smile there, but there was also lingering discomfort or annoyance. And a lot of beer on his breath.
“You going up?”
“I… I wasn"t sure where to go,” Zane mumbled, not knowing if Nick was right there or not.
Ty"s hands came up to cover his cheeks, fingers pressed against the beard growing in after five days without shaving. He could feel Ty"s breath on his neck as he whispered, “I know I smell like beer. But I"d rather have you in my bed tonight than the Irish.”
Zane shivered. No Nick, then. “You smell like you, mostly,” he said.
Ty kissed him without another word. It was a quick, almost furtive kiss, but there was heat behind it, too, and the sour tang of the beer was fainter on Ty"s lips than Zane had expected. The steps below creaked, and Ty pulled away from him and gave his shoulders a turn, heading him in the general direction of the bedroom. A moment later Nick was murmuring goodnight to them both as he passed on to the third-floor stairs, and Ty shut the door to his bedroom behind them.
“Won"t he think this is weird?” Zane asked, keeping his voice down.
“There"s only two beds in the house. He usually sleeps with me, the others fight over the couches. I told him you needed to be within stumbling distance of the bathroom, less stairs.” Ty"s hand found its way to Zane"s lower back. “Would you rather he sleep here and you go upstairs?”
“Hell no,” Zane swore under his breath. “It"s just… he"s your friend and all. A Marine. I didn"t know if you had… in the past… does he know that you….” Zane paused for a breath. “Never mind. I"m tired and you"re drunk. Time to sleep.”
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“Are you asking if Nick and I have fucked?” Ty asked, plowing through all the gentle euphemisms he could have used, getting right to the point.
Something inside Zane curled awkwardly, and he flinched, aware of being silent for too long. “I actually hadn"t gotten that far in thinking about the „friends through thick and thin". More along the lines of would he have any reason to think we might be more than work partners.” But now he also wanted to know the answer to the question Ty had thrown out there.
“If you"re uncomfortable, I can sleep on the couch,” Ty offered, voice low and soothing, just like it had been for most of Zane"s blindness. It was the same tone he"d adopted with Nick, telling him to stay in the present instead of dwelling on trauma of the past. Zane had never consciously noticed Ty had that ability, to calm and reassure with his voice, or even that he"d been doing it to him all week, until now.
Zane remembered abruptly that Ty did have a degree in psychology, and he wondered if he was really that easily manipulated. Although Ty wouldn"t even have to try, not really.
Zane frowned. “No. No, I"m not uncomfortable.” He wasn"t sure he could explain this well enough to get through the filter of beer, stress, and exhaustion. “He doesn"t know about us, right? I"m just trying to be careful.”
“He doesn"t know,” Ty affirmed. Zane could hear the rustle of clothing as Ty got undressed.
He"d never actually answered the other question. Zane didn"t feel right asking, though he knew it would bother him now. He took a steadying breath, pulled his T-shirt over his head, and dropped it to the floor. He made it to the bed and under the covers, leaving on his sweats. A moment later Ty crawled in next to him, his skin warm against Zane"s, the smell of the bar just faint enough to be slightly arousing instead of nauseating.
Ty pulled him close and kissed him carefully. “He"s never been anything more than my best friend, Zane,” he whispered. “Stop worrying.”
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Zane didn"t realize he"d tensed up until he relaxed after Ty"s words, and he set his forehead against Ty"s with another sigh. “You know me pretty well, huh.”
“Not as well as I"d like,” Ty replied, voice barely there. He kissed Zane again, letting his lips drag across Zane"s. Then he sighed heavily and rolled onto his back, his movements restless and slightly inebriated.
Zane let him sprawl, knowing that trying to hold onto Ty in this state would just make him squirm more.
He was fairly confident there wasn"t anything he wouldn"t tell Ty, besides some few select experiences better left buried. But it was a discussion they"d had before, and Zane didn"t expect a reply, so he turned away and onto his side, pulling the pillow up against his chest.
A moment later Ty tossed an arm and a leg over him, snuggling up to him like Zane was his pillow. He nuzzled his face into the back of Zane"s neck, pressing his hips against him. Zane could tell from the way Ty touched him, the way he couldn"t quite keep still, that if Nick hadn"t been in the house, they would already be fucking.
Awareness and arousal ripped through Zane like lightning. It was a toss-up whether they"d be able to do it quietly, especially with Ty drunk.
Ty made a frustrated grumbling sound, obviously thinking along the same lines. “Give him a few minutes to go to sleep,” he told Zane.
His hand slid down Zane"s body, strong fingers gripping Zane"s hip to pull him back against him.
Zane closed his eyes and smiled, reaching to take Ty"s hand in his. “You saying your Recon buddy upstairs sleeps like a baby?”
Ty pushed himself up on one elbow, his knee sliding up Zane"s inner thigh. Zane could feel Ty hardening against him, and his own body responded accordingly. It was wild having sex with Ty when all his senses were working. But when he had to rely on the others to make up for what he couldn"t see, Zane found that he responded faster than usual. Especially smell: the heady cachets of forbidden beer, forsaken cigarettes, and Old Spice, natural earthy musk layered just underneath that, they all combined with the scent of sweat on Ty"s skin, and every time Zane caught a whiff, it went right to his gut.
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Ty shifted away and pushed Zane onto his back before moving to cover him, muscles tensed and fingers dragging over Zane"s skin. The sound of Ty"s breathing, slow and careful, filled Zane"s ears.
Zane exhaled carefully.
Fuck
, how he wanted Ty right now. He wondered distantly if he"d ever get enough of him.
Ty"s hands moved to cup his face. “Shh,” he requested quietly.
Then he lowered his head and licked at Zane"s lips. Zane hummed a negative and parted his lips, inviting a kiss as he nipped at Ty"s tongue.
Ty propped himself up on his elbows and ran his fingers over Zane"s hair, holding his head still as he kissed Zane hungrily. The moan deep in Zane"s throat surprised him.
“Am I going to have to gag you?” Ty asked in a gruff voice as he began kissing down the line of Zane"s jaw.
“I"ll be quieter than the bed,” Zane murmured, pointing to the headboard against the wall. He almost laughed as he suddenly remembered the last time they"d done something like this—in Ty"s childhood bedroom at his parents" home in Bluefield, West Virginia.
Ty began making his way down Zane"s body instead of commenting, kissing and nipping at sensitive parts. Zane stiffened for a moment, wishing he could see.
Damn
, he loved to watch Ty do this! Ty pushed his sweats down, fighting against the sheets and the mattress to do it. Zane instinctively moved his hands to slide them into Ty"s short hair as he breathed, “Oh fuck….”
Ty hummed cheekily, kissing at Zane"s hip as he slid his hands under the backs of Zane"s thighs. Zane laughed weakly and shivered all over just thinking about what was coming. Without a word of warning, Ty ducked his head and took Zane"s cock into his mouth, running his tongue around the head and sucking.
Zane hissed, hips snapping up toward the wet heat of Ty"s mouth.
His fingers clenched in Ty"s hair for a moment until he made himself relax. When Ty started sucking, Zane actually whimpered. Ty hummed again in response to the pitiful sounds.
Zane didn"t necessarily enjoy sex with Ty more when Ty was drunk, but it definitely changed the game. Ty was looser, more apt to be rough and manhandle him, more likely to do things to Zane that 202 | Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux