Dissonance (30 page)

Cam chatted with several men, one of whom was standing so close that Cam was forced to back up to avoid being touched. If this bothered Cam, however, he didn’t show it.

“Hardly,” Cam said, then laughed his silvery laugh. “But there was an FBI agent who thought when I said ‘blow me’ after he told me I’d need to wear an orange jumpsuit while in custody, I was asking for sexual favors.”

Total bullshit, Galen knew, but the crowd ate it up. He grinned and headed back to the bar for his beer. Thankfully, Leslie had moved on to smaller and shallower things, annoying another man at the bar. Galen picked up his beer, this time lingering near the bar, where he had a better view of Cam.

Drink firmly ensconced in his hand, Cam said something that made the group laugh. Galen couldn’t hear above the sound of the thumping bass, but Cam’s friends were clearly enthralled. Cam took a sip of the alcohol—Galen saw that he barely drank any—then listened intently to the man beside him who’d once again gotten too close to Cam.

Galen held his beer so tightly his fingers hurt. He hadn’t even taken a swig yet. Good thing too, given he’d been clenching his jaw again. What the hell was wrong with him? This entire evening was an act for Cam and he knew it.

You’re jealous
.

The realization took him by surprise. He hated the way everyone looked at Cam. Clever, charming Cam. Poised, confident, carefree Cam. Complete and utter bullshit. And with the realization came clarity of thought: not one of them knew Cam. Really
knew
him. They didn’t know the big heart underneath the cool exterior. They didn’t see the vulnerability, didn’t know of the grief and the heartache. They didn’t know that even now, Cam still hated himself for what he’d done to Aiden. Hated himself for what he was. For what he’d been.

You’ve fallen for him.
Again, a jolt to his system.

Galen took a long pull on his drink, swallowed deeply, and then drank again. He barely tasted it—he was too busy watching Cam. Wanting Cam. Wishing he and Cam were together somewhere quiet. Wishing he could rake leaves with Cam again so he could see the
real
Cam smile.
His
Cam.

Breathe.

He remembered how it had felt to hold Cam as he’d cried. How his own heart had broken for Cam. How he’d wanted to tear Duncan limb from limb for hurting Cam.
His
Cam.

Relax
.

He remembered how he’d watched Cam sleep, knowing how precious that sleep was. Knowing that he’d help keep the dreams at bay, at least for a short time. He’d felt so good knowing he could do something for Cam, since Cam had given him happiness. Little pieces of happiness. Falling into a pile of leaves. Laughing. Making dinner. Keeping him company. Listening to him play.
His
Cam.

Focus.

He finished the rest of his beer, but it did nothing to quell the strange feeling in his gut.

You’re leaving in a few days. You’ll say your good-byes and you’ll both move on.

He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly, releasing the tension that had suddenly taken hold of his body. When he opened his eyes again, he looked to where Cam still held court. This time their eyes met. There was no mistaking the way Cam’s face lit in that instant. Whatever he might tell himself, Galen knew his presence had made a difference tonight. Cam didn’t need him, even if Cam hadn’t realized it himself yet, but Cam was stronger because he wasn’t alone.

The last thing Galen realized before the moment of clarity vanished into the noise and distractions of colors and light was that he’d seen something in Cam’s face. Something beautiful and frightening all at once. Something Galen had never seen directed at him. Cam’s blue eyes shone with an intensity that made them appear almost turquoise. The hardness around Cam’s mouth—armor, Galen now knew—gave way to the slightest hint of a smile, noticeable only for the tiny lines that framed Cam’s eyes and mouth.

He loves me.

G
ALEN
HAD
just made it inside the door when he turned and pulled Cam against him. He held Cam’s face in his hands and drew him close for a blistering kiss. God, he’d wanted to do that all night! Every time Cam had flirted with someone, every clever joke Cam had cracked, Galen had imagined storming over and kissing him until there was no doubt at all who Cam was
really
with.

“Galen,” Cam gasped as their lips parted. “What was
that
for?”

“Do I need a reason?” A lame excuse of an answer, but he wasn’t going to tell Cam he’d been jealous. Or that he’d realized something had changed and he didn’t know what the fuck to do about it except drink in as much of Cam as he possibly could.

T
HEY
SLEPT
late the next morning, Cam spooned against Galen’s back. Breakfast turned into a late lunch. They didn’t make love again—Cam was content just feeling Galen’s body against his own. The night before had become something far more than he’d expected. Cam had felt powerful and strangely detached, as if he were observing himself from a distance. The Cam who’d strutted his stuff at the club had been as fake as the too-perky breasts and Botox foreheads of the women who’d hung on his arms, or the smiles plastered on his erstwhile friends’ faces. But he’d been fine with that because Galen had been there and he’d seen himself—the
real
Cameron Sherrington—reflected in Galen’s expression.

Tonight would be less of a chore. Cam looked forward to seeing David and Alex again. And although some of the guests would no doubt gossip about rumors of his brush with the US authorities, most were people Cam genuinely liked.

“Ready?” Cam asked as he and Galen sat in front of the fire sipping brandy. He leaned against Galen and kissed his cheek.

“Ready.” Galen spoke in a bright tone, but Cam thought he’d seen something flicker across Galen’s face. Galen was always quiet, but he’d been even quieter since their lunch.

“Everything all right?”

Galen smiled at him. “Perfectly all right.” He pulled Cam toward him and brushed his lips against Cam’s. “I’m just a little jet-lagged, I guess.”

“You’ll like David.” Cam kissed Galen and sighed. “And he’ll like you.”

Galen turned and watched the fire for a moment, then said, “I’m sure I will.”

T
HEY
HAD
barely handed their coats to one of the servants when Alex Bishop strode down the hallway. “Cam,” he said as he pulled Cam into a bear hug, “you had us worried.”

Cam smiled. He’d never been very comfortable with Alex’s affectionate greetings, but this time he didn’t pull away as quickly as he might have before. “Everything’s fine. Bit of a rough patch, but nothing to be concerned about.”

Alex frowned as if he didn’t believe that, then glanced at Galen expectantly. Cam forced his wandering thoughts back to the here and now as he realized he hadn’t introduced them. “Sorry. I’m being quite rude. Alex Bishop, this is Galen Rusk. Galen, Alex.”

Alex shook Galen’s hand. “Good to meet you, Galen.”

“It’s a pleasure and an honor. I heard your Dvorak a few months ago. Brilliant. Took a few of my students with me.” Galen chuckled, then added, “They wanted to know why you weren’t playing any Rolling Stones. I had to explain that the New York Phil wasn’t exactly the venue for that.”

“You’re a teacher?” Alex asked as he motioned them down the hallway toward the ballroom.

“High school band,” Galen replied. “We’re trying to raise enough money to start an orchestra too, but with the economy in the dumps, it’s slow going.”

“Sorry to hear that. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know, okay?” Alex’s interest appeared genuine, and Cam guessed he was remembering his own difficult childhood.

The ease and comfort with which Galen handled the conversation with Alex took Cam aback. Galen had always been a man of few words, but he chatted comfortably with Alex as though the two had been friends for years. By the time Alex had left to greet another guest, he’d arranged to meet with Galen the next time he was in New York.

If he still has a job.

“Cam?” A tall woman wearing an extremely short dress nearly knocked Cam off his feet when she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into her embrace. “I heard about things in the US. I can’t believe they even thought you might have done something like that.”

“Good to see you, Ceci.” Cam kissed her cheek after extricating himself from her grasp. “Galen, this is Cecilia Troy. She and my mother play a mean game of poker.” He winked at Cecilia and added, “And she usually takes my mother for all she’s got.”

“Good to meet you,” Galen said, taking her hand and kissing it. “And good to know.”

“You play poker?” Ceci pursed her lips and gave Galen a thorough once-over.

“A bit.” Galen smiled and winked at Cam.

“Then you must join us sometime.” Cecilia looked ready to devour Galen.

“I’m guessing the stakes are a bit too high for me,” Galen said as he shook his head. “But I’m happy for any pointers.”

Cam watched, incredulous, as Cecilia and Galen spoke for nearly ten minutes about betting strategy like a couple of high-stakes players. Galen appeared completely comfortable. By the end of their conversation, he had a standing invitation to one of the most sought-after poker games in the city.

“Did I do something wrong?” Galen asked as they waited for the bartender to make their drinks. “You’re staring at me like I grew a second head or something.”

“Nothing wrong.” Cam struggled to put into words what had been swirling about his brain as he’d watched Galen and Ceci. “You just…. I mean, Ceci isn’t exactly the type to invite someone into her little circle.”

Galen laughed and waved his hand dismissively. “She just thinks I’m cute, that’s all.”

Cam wouldn’t argue with that, but he was quite sure it wasn’t just Galen’s looks that had sold Ceci.

They stopped several more times as Cam led Galen across the large living room toward where David Somers was conversing with several people. Each time, Galen chatted comfortably with not even a hint of his usual awkwardness. By the time they reached David, Cam could only conclude that either Galen was a very quick study or he’d suffered through nearly as many parties as Cam had over the years. Which, of course, made no sense at all.

“Cameron.” David Somers smiled broadly as he shook Cam’s hand and clasped it between his own.

“Thank you for inviting me.” Cam met David’s gaze and smiled. Of all the people in the room, David was the only one other than Galen who knew the full extent of what he’d been through in the past few weeks. Did David know how much that meant to him? Probably. When it came to his friends, little escaped David’s attention. The thought that David really
was
a friend made Cam smile. He’d been stupid not to appreciate that friendship before. Stupid to wait so long to reach out and ask David for help. “Good to see you.”

Eager to avoid any questions, Cam turned to Galen and said, “David Somers, I’d like you to meet Galen—”

“Arendale,” David finished, his eyes wide.

Cam was just about to correct David when Galen smiled and shook David’s hand. “Maestro.”

Arendale?
Who the bloody hell was Galen Arendale? The scene played out like in a movie, with Cam the only actor who didn’t seem to know his lines.

“It’s been a long time.”

Galen nodded. “About ten years. Although I’ve been to more than a few of your concerts since then.”

“Arendale?” Cam finally managed to choke out.

Galen shifted from one foot to the other—the first time the entire evening that he’d looked the least bit uncomfortable. “It’s my father’s name,” he said. “It was my stage name.”

“Stage name?” Cam looked at David, but David looked nearly as confused as he felt. “You know each other?”

“I’m very sorry, Galen,” David said after an awkward pause.

Cam saw Galen inhale before he said, “It’s all right, David. I have nothing to hide.”

David nodded, then looked back at Cam and said, “Galen made his debut with the Chicago Symphony the first year I was there. Brilliant performance.”

Cam tried to understand what David had just said, but couldn’t process this new information. “Debut?”

Galen shifted on his feet and took a slow breath that reminded Cam of when he’d found Galen seated on the couch, legs twisted like a pretzel, meditating. “Yes,” Galen said after a slightly uncomfortable pause. “I used to perform a little back then.”

David was frowning now, and Cam realized David had assumed he knew about this. “I apologize, Galen,” he said. “I didn’t realize you hadn’t spoken about it.”

“No apology needed.” Cam forced a smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Galen chew his lower lip.

“Y
OU
LIED
to me,” Cam snapped as soon as they got inside the house. Galen had watched Cam seethe at the party. How they’d gotten through two hours of schmoozing at David’s, he still wasn’t sure. And during the cab ride back, Cam had barely looked at him.