Authors: Jessica Shirvington
O
n Monday night I hit the tunnels again, desperate to eliminate the possibility of Dad being held in a community we’d discovered was scheduled for a ‘clean-up’ in the coming week. I knew there was only a tiny chance, but as with every other community I’d checked, if there was any chance at all, I had to do what I could.
This time though, the failed trip stung.
What I wanted to do more than anything was have it out with my kicking bag in the garage, but it was Monday and that meant Mom would be expecting us to have a family meal, and I was already late.
I raced into my room, dumping all of my gear and slipping into a pair of comfy jeans and an old football jersey before I headed into the house.
‘Hi, darling. I was wondering if you’d gotten caught up.’
I smiled at Mom and let her pull me into an embrace. ‘No, just lost track of time,’ I said, hoping not to have to elaborate further. The lies were starting to leave an increasingly bitter taste in my mouth.
She brushed the hair back from my face. ‘I forget you’re still so young,’ she said.
I stepped away from her awkwardly. ‘I don’t feel very young. Haven’t for a while.’
She sighed and started dishing up the casserole. ‘I know, Maggie. You do so much, it’s like you’re on this mission to prove something.’
I froze, unsure what she was saying.
She continued, heaping rice onto the plates. ‘You study so hard and work such long hours and when you aren’t doing that you’re at the gym. You don’t stop and I’m worried you’re going to burn out and affect your Phera-ratings.’
My stomach turned. It always came back to the ratings for Mom. ‘I’m fine, really.’
She passed me my plate and we settled into our chairs at the small dining table. ‘I know you are, it’s just … I’d like to see you going out with friends and having a bit of fun. See you smile more. Maybe then you would consider turning on your tech.’ The silence felt heavy. I leaned against the back of my chair, watching Mom load rice onto our plates.
When she put down my plate and sighed, I bit down on the inside of my cheek. ‘I know what happened with your father was … it was terrible. He wasn’t the man we thought he was, but Maggie, you’re nothing like him. You won’t have the same problem that he did. Negative ratings are not hereditary.’
She’d given me this spiel before and I wasn’t up to it after the evening’s failure below ground. I forced the corners of my mouth up. ‘I’m going to a ball this weekend, if that helps,’ I offered, hoping to placate her.
Mom’s eyes lit up. ‘A ball? Where?’
I dug into my dinner, realising I hadn’t actually eaten all day. Well, unless you counted the doughnut I’d had for breakfast, but that was mostly chocolate icing.
‘The Mercer Estate,’ I answered around a mouthful of food.
Mom dropped her fork.
‘
The
Mercer Ball? Who are you going with?’ Her eyes were still alight, but now they were also ridiculously wide.
I shovelled another mouthful of casserole in. It was bland, and way too healthy, but after a good slathering of salt, it was really hitting the spot.
‘Maggie!’
I groaned and took a gulp of water to wash down my food.
‘Quentin Mercer,’ I said quickly.
‘I’m sorry, say that again. It sounded like you said Quentin
Mercer.
’ Mom laughed.
‘I did.’
I waited patiently as her jaw basically hit the floor. Her reaction was no surprise.
Wide-eyed, she finally snapped out of her stupor. ‘Is it Friday or Saturday? I’ll get the night off so I can be here when he picks you up. Oh my God, Maggie. The house. What are we going to do?’ Her rambling halted with a sharp gasp. ‘Maybe we could rent a house for the weekend and you could give him that address.’
‘Mom, stop. Seriously, he doesn’t care about the house.’
‘Oh, I know, darling. I’m sure his sole focus is on you, but you know …’ Then her eyes narrowed in on me. ‘Why is the Mercer heir taking you to a ball hosted by his family?’
‘Mom,’ I pleaded.
She gasped again and threw in some kind of all-body jolt. ‘You rated with him, didn’t you? You must have for him to justify it.’
‘Justify it?’ I said, raising a brow.
‘Oh, come on, Maggie, look around. His family aren’t the type to ever let the likes of us near them. The only way into that world is through the rating system.’
Sadly, this was true.
I picked up my fork, keen to get back to dinner. ‘Just tell me yes or no?’ she pushed.
I suppressed another groan, knowing she wouldn’t let it go. ‘Yes,’ I said.
‘High?’
‘Yes,’ I answered.
‘Maggie, high enough?’ I knew what she was asking. Was the rating high enough that if Quentin chose me, the rating would support the match? If the rating supported the match that was all society cared about.
‘Mom, drop it.’
‘Come on, Maggie. It’s my last question, I promise.’ Her voice was getting pitchy and she was all but bouncing out of her seat.
I stared into Mom’s eyes, the one person I always hated lying to the most – until recently. ‘High enough.’
Tired as I was, my night was hardly over. Back in the garage, I changed into a pair of work-out clothes and got to it, grateful that I had my makeshift gym area, which saved me from crossing town to the Muay Thai centre every time I needed a work-out. I still had to go there for sparring – although memories of my work-out with Quentin reminded me that there were now some alternatives … much nicer than Master Rua.
I made my way through a long list of drills, working up a decent sweat before noticing it was past midnight and I still had study to do.
It was after 2 a.m. by the time I allowed my head to hit the pillow.
I was at Mitchell’s Diner. Dad and I sat at the back in what had become our usual booth. Thursdays were now my favourite day of the week.
I watched myself, this time from a bird’s-eye view. I took a moment to marvel at how innocent I looked in my flannel shirt and jean shorts, but my attention quickly fixed on Dad.
He seemed distracted, not joining in like he normally did, and I watched as he quietly excused himself from the table and headed in the direction of the bathroom. Just before he reached the bathroom doors, he paused at the cash register and quickly tipped something into a glass of iced tea. When he glanced over his shoulder and caught my eye, he simply winked and carried on to the bathroom.
When he returned, I leaned over the table and whispered, ‘What did you put in her drink?’
Dad just put a finger to his lips, motioning towards the unpopular waitress, Beth, who was now drinking from the glass. When I looked back at Dad, he smiled. ‘Just a little experiment, Maggie.’
I watched the waitress carefully. Dad was no doubt trying to help her and his enthusiasm was contagious, but I also worried something might go wrong. As time passed and nothing happened, my concerns drifted away.
Dad seemed contemplative as we left the diner and got back into his car. I watched on as sixteen-year-old me buckled up, pondering what Dad had been trying to achieve. ‘Wasn’t that kind of risky?’ I asked him.
He chuckled. ‘You’re a good kid for worrying about her, Maggie. I promise I’m trying to do something good. It might take some time to iron out the kinks though. Our little secret, okay?’
I smiled and nodded, loving that Dad and I had our Thursday nights.
After a tired day at school, I found myself going through the motions in the stockroom at work. Gus had decided to shadow me. He wouldn’t let up, adamant that this time the risk was too high. He tried warning me with catchy phrases like ‘playing with fire’ and ‘bit off more than you can chew’ and, my personal favourite, ‘you’re beating a dead horse’.
He was just sour that while I’d been stuck on the late shift, I’d forced him to meet with our particularly unfriendly new contact, Travis, to buy tonight’s intel. Not only had it drained the last of our funds, Gus had also been required to endure a fairly rough pat down.
‘Stop being such a baby. You were one block away and I was connected to your phone the entire time.’ Not that I was about to admit it to Gus, but I had stayed right next to the door the entire time, ready to run the distance if he’d had any major trouble.
Gus gave a dubious grunt. ‘Travis said he wouldn’t deal with me again unless you’re there,’ he explained. ‘And frankly, I couldn’t agree with him more on this one. He creeps me out.’
I shrugged, concentrating on loading my backpack with all the essentials. Money, check. Rope, check. Tranq gun, check.
‘Maggie, this is crazy. You can’t go back down there tonight. It was reckless enough going down there last night on such short notice, but at least it was a zone we’d worked in before. Junction 47 is completely new territory and you know preparation is everything. You’ll have to go out to Falls Church and the only entry way I’ve found is through the basement of an old homeless shelter.’
It was a mystery how an entry way had ended up there, but we guessed it had to do with the previous businesses on the site before it became a shelter. I continued to unpack stock, knowing I’d be stuck working late if I didn’t. ‘At least I won’t have to worry about what I wear.’
He didn’t see the humour.
Gus just didn’t get it. If Dad was in that community and I didn’t go there, I’d have lost my one chance. Everything else we’d done, all the rules we’d broken, people we’d hurt and left behind, the ones we’d stolen from, and the ones we’d deceived – it would’ve all been for nothing.
I checked the time. My shift was finished. ‘I’m going in.’ I didn’t look back at him as I slung my pack over my shoulder. ‘You know what to do. I’ll call you from the shelter.’
‘You’re losing it, Maggie,’ he called out, stopping me before I left the storeroom. ‘How are you even going to get there?’
I’d been planning on catching the Metro, but he’d pushed too far. ‘Good point,’ I said, turning back and holding out my arm. ‘Mind if I borrow your car?’ It wasn’t a request and by the scowl on his face he knew it.
‘I really do,’ he replied, his voice thick with hate. But he held out his arm and transferred driving privileges to my M-Band.
I smiled sweetly. ‘Promise I’ll treat her better than you do.’
‘Yeah? Well, I hope she wraps you around a pole.’
‘That’s the spirit,’ I said with a wink as I walked out the door.
Getting in through the homeless shelter was so easy it was almost funny. There were so many people in the shelter, so many people fighting for survival in this society, that no one paid much attention to me. Once I was in, however, my task became more difficult. The maze of tunnels was disorienting. I lost my way on a number of occasions, and questioned whether Gus might’ve been right this time.
When I realised I was just feeling sorry for myself, I sucked in a few deep breaths and got back to work.
Eventually I found the community. It was the largest I’d seen. That alone should have encouraged second thoughts, but I was determined to continue so I pushed on. I surveyed the point I’d selected on the map carefully, ensuring it was the best spot to drop rope.
When I couldn’t see anywhere better, I got on with it, sailing down the black rope on a relatively short drop and onto the roof of one of a handful of interconnected buildings. I jogged straight to the far side of the structure. I knew from the blueprints that this building had high windows and, given that the air vents were too small, they were my best option.
Finding a spot to anchor another rope, I tied myself in and edged over the roof, positioning my feet on the wall.
I inched towards the first window only to find it was locked. On the third one, I hit the jackpot. I squinted through the glass before I carefully slid it open.
I found myself in a sparse kitchen attached to a dining area where the tables and chairs were bolted to the cement floor.
Given the time, I imagined most of the negs were heading towards their dorms to meet their 10 p.m. curfew. I waited patiently just inside the door until I saw a young girl walking down the hall. She didn’t look much older than me and she was alone.
As she passed me, I opened the door and pulled her into the kitchen.
‘What the hell –’ she started, attempting unsuccessfully to yank her arm free.
Urgently, I put a finger to my lips. She was smart enough to stop talking and I was glad. I didn’t want to have to put her down.
The girl’s eyes went straight to my clothes, pausing at my waist. Slowly, I released my hand and lifted the edge of my T-shirt, exposing my bare hip and proving that I wasn’t a neg.
‘You broke in,’ she deduced.
It seemed an obvious thing to say, but most negs never dare to consider the possibility. They are taught there is no escape, so how could anyone break in?
I nodded then passed her a picture of my dad. ‘Have you seen this guy? Is he in this community?’
She glanced at me, then at the photo, before nodding slowly.
My stomach flipped.
‘He’s not here, but I’ve seen him,’ she said quietly. The way she seemed so timid and restrained made me relax a little.
‘Where? Where have you seen him? Please! Is he still alive?’
She passed me back the photo. ‘He was alive when I saw him.’
My anxiety skyrocketed. ‘Where is he?’
She shook her head. ‘I’ll tell you as soon as you get me out of here.’
I had my hand fisting her shirt before she blinked. I pushed her into the wall, my face close to hers. ‘You’ll tell me now before I seriously hurt you.’
The girl just smiled. ‘I heard the guards talking. This site is scheduled for cleaning next week. I know enough to know the word “cleaning” means a whole lot of bad. You get me out of here and I’ll tell you everything I know. Or you can beat me up and leave with nothing.’
Damn it, damn it!
I released her. She was fearless, I’d give her that. I could probably push her, force her to tell me more, but there was something about her that made me want to help her. Save one. Just once.