Dirty Little Secrets (7 page)

Besides Trey, I spent time with only one other person, and that was Patrick. I first met Patrick at his barbecue, but that
was only briefly. He was so occupied with entertaining his guests that we didn’t have an opportunity to talk. Then one day
when I was waiting for Trey after a class, Patrick saw me.

“Hi, Tyler, are you waiting for Trey?”

“Yeah.” I smiled shyly. I knew Trey wouldn’t appreciate me talking to Patrick, although they were friends.

“Is everything okay? You have a sad look on your face,” he said.

“I do? I’m fine, just a little tired,” I said, not wanting to reveal that the look on my face was an indication of how miserable
I was with Trey.

“Okay, but if you ever need to talk, let me know.” “I’ll do that,” I said as Patrick turned and walked away. For a brief moment
I wondered why Trey couldn’t be sensitive like Patrick.

One night during a heated argument with Trey, he punched me in the nose. Blood was everywhere. I ran out of the apartment
and drove off. While driving back and forth on Peachtree Street, I called Patrick from my cell. He told me to come over. When
I got there, he examined my nose, and luckily it wasn’t broken. He gave me some cold towels to stop the bleeding and had me
tilt my head back. The questioning immediately kicked in.

“Why does a girl like you, who has so much going for herself, stay with a man like Trey?” Patrick asked as he pressed the
towel around my nose.

“It’s a long complicated story,” I sighed.

“I’m in no rush,” Patrick said with a warm smile. He had a way of making me feel at ease. I could talk to him for hours without
even realizing the time was passing us by.

“When I first met Trey, he was fun and exciting. Different from the other guys I dated. He was the quintessential bad boy,
and I was attracted to that. Never did I think he would turn out to be so demonic.”

“So why stay?”

“The first time Trey hit me, in so many words, he threatened to end my life if I ever tried to leave him. No one had ever
placed that sort of fear in my heart. Part of me also feels unworthy of any type of real love.”

Patrick turned my face to his and lovingly placed his hand on
my shoulder. “How can you say that? You come from a good family, and the world is yours for the taking.”

“You mean I come from a rich family, because nothing about it is good. Living in a big house and having nice cars doesn’t
make a good family, Patrick. No one even notices when I’m not around. My father is too busy having an affair, and my mother
is so wrapped up with her socialite friends and her casual flings that they couldn’t care less whether I’m coming or going.
My life is empty.”

“I’m sorry, Tyler. I had no idea your family life was causing you so much pain, but then again, it should have been easy to
figure out. If your parents were paying any attention to you, they would see how volatile your relationship with Trey is.
But, Tyler, I’m here to tell you that you deserve more. You’re a beautiful, smart, and loving young woman with so much to
give. You deserve more than Trey. I can’t force you to leave him, but if you’re only staying out of fear, I will make sure
that he never puts his hands on you again.”

I moved closer to Patrick and gave him a long lingering kiss. No one had ever made me feel so safe and secure. “Patrick, I
want to give myself to you. Please make love to me.”

“Tyler, you have more to give than just your body. I want all of you: your mind, your body, and your soul. But that will take
time. Right now you need to focus on ending things with Trey and focusing on healing yourself.” Patrick was right. I had so
many inner demons I needed to fight, and the first one was Trey. I also knew that this situation had to be dealt with delicately.
Trey would flip if I started a relationship with Patrick, but part of me didn’t care. I so desperately wanted to escape the
torture I was enduring with Trey and be with a loving, gentle person like Patrick that I was willing to take the risk.

“Instead of making love, can we lie in the bed and you just hold me until I fall asleep?” I asked.

“I’ll do more than that; I’ll hold you until you wake up.” Patrick reached for my hand and led me to his bedroom. He gave
me a T-shirt to put on, and we slid under the covers. Patrick held me all night as I fell into the deepest sleep I had had
in many months.

When I woke up early the next morning, Patrick was still asleep. I moved his arm from around me and quietly got out the bed.
I threw on my clothes, wrote Patrick a note telling him I would call him later, and headed out the door. When I got in the
car, I had twenty missed calls and ten new voice messages, all from Trey.

As I drove up the driveway, I felt a great sense of relief to be home. When I opened the front door, my parents were sitting
on the stairs in their pajamas as though they had been up all night.

“Tyler, where have you been and what happened to your nose?” Mother asked, the look of death on her face. My parents hadn’t
questioned my whereabouts in so long that I was thrown off.

“I spent the night at…Lisa’s house, and I accidentally banged my nose on her bathroom door.”

“Don’t lie to your mother,” Daddy said, as if he was disappointed with where the conversation was going.

“I called Lisa last night, and she tried to cover for you, but once I explained the severity of the situation, she admitted
she hadn’t spoken to you.” What severe situation was Mother speaking of? I wondered.

“Did something happen to Ella?”

“No, Ella is fine. The emergency is you.” Mother’s lip began to quiver as it did when she was either stressed or extremely
nervous.

“Me? What about me?”

“Last night, Trey kept calling here looking for you. He said you weren’t answering your phone and thought maybe we knew where
you were. After the third call he became irate and started cursing and screaming, saying I was lying about knowing your whereabouts.
I didn’t know it, but he was calling from outside the house. Before I could tell your father about the conversation there
was a knock at the door, and when Daddy opened it, Trey put a gun to his head. He told your father to tell you that if you
don’t come back to him, you’re as good as dead. What the hell is going on, Tyler?”

All the built-up pain and fear emerged from inside me, and I burst out crying. Father ran toward me and wrapped his arms around
me. Mother stood there, looking confused. “I’m so sorry,” I wailed. “Trey beat me up last night, and I stayed with my friend
Patrick because I was afraid and didn’t want to come home.”

“Beat you up? Is that what happened to your nose?” Mother asked.

“Yes.”

“Was that the first time he hit you?”

“No, Daddy, he has hit me many, many times.” My body fell into his chest as I purged one of my painful secrets.

“My little princess,” Daddy kept saying over and over as he rubbed my back.

“I knew that man was evil. How dare he do this to a daughter of mine? We called the police after Trey left, and they came
over and filled out an incident report. I want you to press charges for the busted nose he gave you.”

“Mother, I just want to forget any of this ever happened and forget Trey ever existed.”

“Are you crazy? You have a maniac after you, and you want to act like you’re not in danger?” Mother hissed.

“You have a lot of nerve,” I said, pushing myself away from Daddy. “Mother, you allow Daddy to knock you around on the rare
occasions that he’s home. And Daddy, you’re out having an affair as if your family is nonexistent. The two of you are part
of the reason I stayed with Trey—I thought he was the only one who gave a damn about me. Maybe he abused me, but at least
he gave me attention and acknowledged my existence. Both of you are so caught up in your own lives that you don’t care what’s
going on with me.”

Daddy stared at me, stunned. “Tyler, that’s not true,” he said lovingly. Your mother and I love you very much, and I’ll admit
we have been selfish, and I’m so sorry. Despite all our faults, you still have to be realistic about the situation. This isn’t
just going to go away. We need to take the necessary steps to protect you, and that means going to the police.” He was right.
Trey was crazy, and there was no telling what he might do. Maybe if he knew the police were involved, it would scare him enough
to leave me alone.

My parents drove me to the police station, where I filed a criminal complaint, and the police issued a temporary restraining
order against Trey. I finally felt that Trey was completely out of my life.

Initially Trey continued to call with threats, and he even came to my house and school looking for me. But after he was arrested
for violating the restraining order, he seemed to get the message and he backed off. Patrick was there for me the whole time.
Although we hadn’t been intimate, we were closer than any two people could be. He was truly my rock, and I felt blessed to
have him in my corner. The tragic events in my life had briefly
united my parents, and they seemed to rekindle their love. But after things cooled down, Daddy was back to the mistress and
Mother was back to her social life.

“Let’s go check out that new Denzel Washington movie tonight,” Patrick said.

“That sounds good. I’ll be at your crib in an hour.” After hanging up, I jumped in the shower. I put on the new baby blue
minidress I’d picked up at a boutique in Lenox Square mall. It was a warm summer night, and I put the top down on my new BMW
325. It was a present for my seventeenth birthday, which had just passed. I blasted “Hypnotized” by the late great Biggie
Smalls as I made my way to Patrick’s house. While bopping to the music, I realized that a black Jeep had been behind me for
the last ten minutes. My heart started jumping, and instantly I thought of Trey. While I dialed Patrick’s number to relay
my fear, the Jeep made a right turn at the light. I laughed at myself for being so paranoid. When I reached Patrick’s crib
I blew the horn, and he came running outside. He jumped in the passenger seat and gave me a kiss on the lips, and we headed
off to the movies.

“That movie was crazy. Did you see how Denzel blasted that dude?” Patrick asked, all hyped.

“Forget that. Did you see how Denzel put it down with that chick? He has got to be the sexiest man in the world—next to you,
of course.” I laughed before giving Patrick a kiss.

“Isn’t this special, my friend and my girl all hugged up together?” As Patrick and I stood in front of the car, for the first
time in over three months Trey was standing in front of me. My hands began shaking, and Patrick pulled me closer.

“Trey, I think it’s best that you leave. Now!” Patrick stood in front of me without the least bit of fear.

“Or what, Patrick? Huh, what you gone do?” he continued, a smug look on his face. “You might think you got yourself a prime
piece of pussy, but that’s my bitch you’re fucking. She will always be my bitch.”

“Whatever, man, you keep holding on to those memories because that’s all you have left.” With those words, Trey snapped and
swung his fist, barely missing Patrick’s jaw. I stepped back as Patrick and Trey went to blows.

“Trey, please leave!” I screamed, hoping he’d realize he was fighting a losing battle. But they were in a full-blown fight.
People were gathering around, wondering what the hell was going on. After Patrick landed two straight jabs, one in Trey’s
stomach and the other under his chin, the fight seemed over. Trey was bent over in pain, looking defeated.

“Take that, you bitch-ass motherfucker. You like pounding on women, but you can’t pound on no man. Don’t you ever bother Tyler
again, or I swear I’ll kill you.” Patrick grabbed my hand to walk away, and Trey reached in the back of his pants and pulled
out a gun.

All I heard was people screaming, “He has a gun! He has a gun!” Everyone was ducking behind cars and running for cover. Patrick
squeezed my hand tightly as if to tell me not to be afraid. But I was beyond afraid. Trey pointed the gun toward us.

I didn’t want to die, and I felt the need to plead for my life. “Trey, don’t do this. Killing Patrick and me won’t change
anything. I know you’re better than this.” The tears were rolling down my face as I prayed my words would make a difference.
Trey stepped closer to us with the gun pointed steady in our direction. I was hoping that Patrick wouldn’t try to be a hero
and get ahold of the gun.

“All I ever wanted to do was love you, Tyler. You’re my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would have a girl
like you. You can’t blame me for doing whatever I had to do to keep you. But you’ve moved on, and I can’t let you be happy
without me.” My chest was thumping and I was becoming dizzy because I knew Trey was about to put a bullet in Patrick’s head
and in mine. I heard police sirens in the distance, but they were too far away to make a difference. All it would take was
a second for Trey to end our lives. He yanked the gun forward with intensity, as if he was about to pull the trigger. I knelt
forward, still holding Patrick’s arm, knowing we were about to die together.

“Tyler, I’ll love you forever. Remember this moment because my face will haunt you for the rest of your life.” Everything
after that seemed to happen in slow motion. Patrick tried to use his body to cover me, but I moved forward and looked directly
at Trey, as if I wanted to look my death in the face. Trey’s arm was raised, and the next thing I heard was what sounded like
a large explosion. Everyone gasped in horror as Trey’s brains splashed across the concrete.

I screamed,
“Nooooooooooo!”
as Trey’s body fell to the ground. I hated the way Trey had treated me, but never did I want him to die. But there he was,
lying before me dead. As the police arrived and ran toward Trey’s dead body, I realized it could’ve been mine.

4
Letting Go

“I want to give a shout out to the class of 1998’s North Atlanta High School graduates, Lisa Duncan and Tyler Blake,” the
DJ yelled over the mike. “It’s All About the Benjamins” was blaring from the speakers, and Lisa and I were grinding to the
music at Club 112. I didn’t know how Lisa got Chris to announce that over the mike, especially since you’re supposed to be
twenty-one to get in the club. But who cared? I was so psyched about being free from high school that I wanted to party all
night long. With eyes closed, I was running my fingers through my hair, dancing in my own world, when I felt a pair of strong
arms wrapped around my waist. The arms felt so good that I didn’t even move them. I was in a zone and I slowly grinded in
their embrace. My eyes were still closed when the soft lips kissed my neck and their sensual scent intoxicated me. Whoever
was holding me felt so right.
The kiss on my earlobe got me aroused, and the whisper in my ear ended the mystery.

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