starlight
Excessive alcohol consumption on the eve of one's wedding night is perhaps to be expected, but since I had to be up early to get ready for the ceremony, I tried to keep my drinking to a minimum. With my belly pleasantly full of indulgent sweets and seasonally appropriate mulled wine, I leaned back in the desk chair inside the small room that Misaki and I now called home.
My wife-to-be lay on the edge of the two futons we pushed together, her tail swishing slightly as she teased my mother's dog. Kaede's ears perked up and her dark eyes locked onto the fluffy thing as she lunged. Of course, she caught nothing but air between her jaws, sending Misaki into a fit of giggles.
“The more you tease her, the more it's going to hurt when she finally grabs it,” I said, trying hard to keep a straight face.
Misaki grinned. “Kaede's too slow and fat to catch it.”
“I swear, I think Mama got that dog just so she could avoid any possible urge she might have to spoil her
actual
children.” I leaned back in the chair and stretched. I felt pretty good after my bath and the time it took to wind down before bed.
“Yet she's spoiling you quite a lot recently,” Misaki pointed out.
“This won't last. Mama's only acting like this because she's enjoying the whole wedding thing a little more than I am—”
My speech was cut short by a pillow colliding with my face. I couldn't keep from laughing as the cushion fell into my lap and revealed a
very
irate-looking Misaki. Her ears lay flat and back, signifying agitation that was only amplified by the fur of her tail standing on end and her narrowed green eyes.
“You're just joking, right?”
I snorted. “Of course I'm joking. This is a hell of a lot better than being shot at by assholes in black armor or having my mind and spirit twisted by that weird mage—”
“
Karin
.”
“Oh, all right, fine. I'll stop.” I paused for a moment and took a sip from the glass of water on the desk. “There's no use in trying to deflect any longer. Not sure if you've noticed, but I'm nervous.”
Misaki blinked. “Why?”
“Probably because I'm getting married tomorrow.” I kept my tone light, but it was patently obvious that I was simultaneously ecstatic and terrified. “This is one of those big life-changing events that you always hear about but can never properly appreciate until it actually happens to you. I'm nervous about the ceremony. Nervous about the reception—especially since there will be a lot more people here than we originally planned for. I'm nervous what people will think when they see… you.”
“I wouldn't exactly call the guest list 'a lot more people' than we anticipated.” Misaki's expression became pensive. “Amber and Meilin, plus your aunts and uncles, the older cousins… it's really just the Ashley family.
Our
family.”
“That
is
a lot more.” I grimaced and took a few more swallows from my water, trying to wash away the sour taste of anxiety. “Not to mention basically
all
of them have no idea about your true nature—and Mama just invited them anyway. Refused to listen to any of my objections. I can't believe I let you all talk me into this.”
“We have to start somewhere,” Misaki insisted. “Amber already told me the number of latent mages has gone up sharply in the past month. The arcane houses are on the move again, determined to bring as many into their ranks as possible, by any means necessary. AEGIS isn't standing idly by, either.”
“With how unreliable binding invocations have become, they're all seeking some way to gain an advantage over their rivals and enemies.” I yawned and slipped off the desk chair, kneeling down to the futon. Misaki opened the door briefly to allow Kaede to return to her pillow-nest on the living room couch before she joined me beneath the heavy traditional futon covering.
“I wish it wasn't so late,” I complained. “I want to spend a little more time with you before the silly tradition of keeping the couple from seeing each other splits us up for basically the entire day.”
Misaki's eyes sparkled. “We'll have plenty of time to spend together after the ceremony and reception.”
“I know. Two weeks of vacation in San Francisco.” I felt a smile creep across my face as I considered how we would spend our honeymoon. “I really wish we could have gone back to Kyoto, but the money just… isn't there. I'm sorry this is the best we can manage.”
“It's
okay
, Karin. Really. You've been apologizing over that for the past two months and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop. I've never been to San Francisco just to have fun and I'm looking forward to it.”
“It
will
be fun,” I agreed, trying to let some of the sadness lift from my voice. I'd only been to SF a few times myself, so it would be a relatively new experience for me. “I would admit that I'm worried about—”
“Stop!” Misaki held a hand up and let out a frustrated sigh. “Just… please, stop worrying yourself even further, love.”
“But Mama just sort of decided on her own and made you go along with it!”
“No, she didn't,” my wife-to-be corrected. “Yoshiko and I talked, yes, but
I
came to the decision on my own. If anyone, it was your sister that convinced me. You've always been upset that I felt forced to hide myself. Why are you so reluctant now?”
“I'm going to kill a certain meddling little sister,” I muttered under my breath. Misaki's dubious expression told me that I was treading on thin ice. I cleared my throat self-consciously. “I grew up with So-yi. I had a front-row seat for the kind of harassment and abuse she suffered, just for being herself. It was bad enough coming from strangers, but coming from family was much worse.”
“You think it's going to be even worse for me,” Misaki observed.
“I do.”
“Karin, this wasn't just a decision for my own peace of mind. There was a strong practical component to this as well. The report from Luna that Amber sent us last week—the number of latent potentials is increasing far too rapidly for AEGIS, the arcane houses and Luna to keep up the facade. And that's only considering
this
country.”
“It's all just being written off as some crazy internet conspiracy theory,” I objected. “I mean, I know it's all going to come out eventually, but don't you think you're jumping the gun a little? It'll probably take
years
before the public has to face this reality.”
Misaki shook her head. “It's not that simple. Many of the new latent cases Luna identified are children, Karin.
Young
children. Yes, there
are
adults and teenagers who have been found to possess strong astral affinity… but the vast majority have been children under the age of
five
.”
A deep, repulsive chill crawled up my spine and spread throughout my body. Her implication was clear as crystal.
“It's going to come out, Karin, and it won't come out slowly or painlessly,” Misaki continued, relentless in spite of the horrified expression dominating my face. “This will be socially disruptive on a
colossal
scale. Yes, AEGIS and the most influential arcane houses will likely do everything in their power to quell the chaos, but…”
“But there's going to be just as many who see opportunity in stoking it,” I finished for her, my expression souring further. “For every person who tries to maintain the status quo, there will be more who exploit fear and discord for the sake of personal gain.”
Misaki nodded. “Amber's been tasked with putting a stop to the demon threat. Luna considers them to be the greatest potential source of widespread panic.”
I sighed. This was not what I wanted to be thinking about the night before I was supposed to get married.
“Anyway, getting back to the original topic—you're basically saying you want to reveal yourself now before the situation escalates. To show people that not all of the changes happening all around them are dangerous or scary.”
“Right.”
“I should have just taken your desire to stop hiding at face value.” I yawned hugely and nestled down more deeply into the futon, still trying to dispel the dire predictions from my mind. “It would have been a lot less depressing than having to really think about all this shit that's probably going to hit the fan in the near future.”
“The only near future you should be concerned about right now, love, is the ceremony tomorrow,” Misaki purred. “Not to mention the night that comes after it.”
My eyebrow arched inquisitively. “Oh?”
“You
really
should get some sleep tonight, Karin.” Her voice became low and husky with sultry promise. “Especially since I have considerable doubts we'll be doing much sleeping at all on our wedding night.”
That
definitely got my attention.
“Um, right! Okay. Going to sleep now.”
petals
“Ow! Mama, it's too tight!”
“Oh, stop complaining, dear,” my mother snapped as she continued to lace up the back of my wedding dress. “It's
supposed
to be tight, to conform to your curves. That's how it stays on your body.”
Despite being fully clothed in the gown and a pair of opaque white stockings, I felt as if I were almost naked. My shoulders were bare—of course Mama went out and got me a strapless gown—and the back of the dress was mostly open, maintaining its integrity through a series of thin white laces that crossed over my back.
“Why did I have to get a strapless one?” I whined, probably for the millionth time since my mother bought the dress.
“Because it looks beautiful on you, dear.” Mama gave me a look that told me I'd better shut up or I'd be in trouble. From the luxurious feel of the fabric and the meticulous stitch-work, I knew the gown hadn't been cheap. “Besides, you and the little fox already agreed that all the planning would be left up to me and So-yi.”
“That was
before
I knew you were going to invite a bunch more people and hold it at an actual venue and make a big fucking deal about it.”
“It can't be helped,” Mama said. “The snow's just been too heavy for an outdoor ceremony. Really now, we've known this was going to happen for a while and you're still going on about it?”
I sighed but didn't say anything.
“Misaki told me you brought it up again last night,” Mama went on as she slowly attempted to squeeze my internal organs out of my body. I stoically bore the discomfort as she finished with the last knot and released me. “Karin, there were over a hundred people in attendance when I married your father. This is
not
a 'big fucking deal,' dear. Turn around so I can see you from the front.”
I did as she requested. The bodice of the gown wasn't cut very low, but I was, um,
gifted
enough in the chest department that it was hardly necessary. The strapless bra I wore under the gown had boning that dug into my sides a little, but it wasn't too uncomfortable.
“Good. I can't see much of that thing. And the scarring around the edges has gone down a lot.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mama, if it's fine to let people see Misaki's ears and tail, why bother trying to hide the Relic fragment?”
“I don't care about the fragment,” Mama countered. “I care about the scarring; it'll show up starkly on photographs. Lucky with this gown it isn't too visible unless someone sticks their face in your cleavage.”
My cheeks flushed faintly. “I doubt that'll happen.”
“Not until the reception, at least.” She chuckled and stepped back. “Sit down on the stool—Nicole should be coming in to do your makeup.” My mother gestured absently toward one of the bar stools taken out of the kitchen.
“Where's the brat?” I asked as I sat down.
“Karin! He isn't 'the brat;' he's your nephew. Yayoi's taking care of him.”
I nodded, expecting this. My mother's younger sister was yet another member of the expanded guest list for the wedding. “Didn't So-yi and Nicole refuse to allow their child's gender to be identified until they got older?”
Mama shrugged. I knew she hadn't fully accepted the idea of gender being a facet of the mind rather than the body, even now. “He's a boy. I don't care if he's only a few months old, I can tell already.”
“I think So-yi might argue that point,” I retorted, unable to keep old hurt from surfacing in my tone. I could see the contrite expression spread across my mother's face the moment I spoke the words we both knew were coming.
“Actually,” a new voice said, “we haven't been exactly the best with that, either.”
I turned my head as Nicole came into the room, carrying a long black case probably filled with various types of makeup. I gave my sister-in-law a querying look.
“So-yi and I have both been using masculine pronouns with Rowan far more often than neutral ones,” Nicole admitted. “It's hard to avoid, especially considering the sort of stuff new parents are bombarded with. We like to think we're enlightened enough to wait, but… it's difficult.”
“That boy is a boy,” Mama insisted. “I can see it in his eyes and how he acts. Just like William did when he was that age.”
“Rowan isn't even two months old!” I scowled at my mother. “He's an
infant
, Mama—he can't even talk yet! How could you
possibly
know this soon? What if you're wrong? Again?”
“Then I'll be wrong and own up to it,” she replied without missing a beat. “Karin dear, I admit that I still don't understand how such a thing can happen to a person, but I've made my peace with that. I don't have to completely understand another person to accept them for who they are.”
“It took you
years
to even acknowledge your second daughter,” I growled. “How is anyone supposed to believe you won't keep saying you 'know' Rowan is a boy if Rowan turns out to be a girl?”
“Karin, stop it.” Nicole set the makeup kit down and gave me stern look. “I appreciate what you're trying to do, but this isn't the time or the place. Today is supposed to be a happy day for you and Misaki.”
I sighed and let my shoulders slump slightly. “Yeah. You're right.”
“I'm not going to make the same mistake with my grandchild that I made with my daughter, dear.” Unexpectedly, my mother gazed at me with sadness in her eyes rather than anger. “I know this is my failing and I can never truly express how sorry I am for what So-yi had to deal with growing up.”
“Sorry for snapping at you, Mama,” I murmured, no longer willing to argue.
“It's okay, dear. I know I haven't been the best at this sort of thing.” Mama sighed softly and turned toward the shut door. “I'm going to head over and check on the little fox's progress. So-yi should be finishing up with her dress and makeup soon. I'll come back with the veil in a few minutes.”
“All right,” Nicole said. “Should only take about ten or so to finish Karin up.”
I watched my mother walk out of the room and close the door behind her. My sister's wife caught my chin between her callused fingers and turned me to face her. Fingertips dabbed with foundation began to rub in concentric circles around my cheeks.
“Don't bother trying to hide my freckles.”
“Shouldn't you want your skin tone evened out for the photographs?”
I shook my head. “No. I like my freckles. So does Misaki. They're cute and I'm really happy they came back.”
“Fine by me. It's your face, after all,” Nicole said, her touch becoming lighter as she spread a thinner coat of foundation, leaving my freckles visible. I closed my eyes as her fingertips moved upward to even out my nose and brow.
“It's like people think I'm not allowed to be cute anymore after turning thirty.” I let out a huff and tried not to think about how much I wanted a cigarette. Burning Nicole's hand wouldn't be worth the nicotine. “Thirty isn't even old, and who the hell says that older women can't be cute, anyway?”
Nicole set the foundation down and picked up the concealer, a significant look in her eyes. “Will you even
become
old now? After what happened to you?”
“I don't know.” I frowned. “It looks like I've stopped growing visibly younger, but it's… well, to say it's 'creepy' is an understatement. To see myself in the mirror, then look at old photos taken when I was nineteen and see almost no difference…”
“I can't understand how you cope with it,” my sister-in-law admitted. “Not just that, but everything else, too.” She traded the concealer for a fluffy brush and started to apply a pale shade of pink to my cheeks.
“Misaki helps. A lot.”
“I'm sure.” Nicole reached back into the makeup kit, then tilted my chin up. “Purse your lips for me and hold still.”
I did as she asked, allowing her to color my lips with a two-stage gloss in a soft shade reminiscent of new cherry blossoms. I refrained from speaking and held the pose while she went over the color with the clear coat that would set it and keep it from smearing or rubbing off for the next twelve or so hours.
“There, all done,” Nicole announced. She leaned forward and blew lightly on my lips, speeding up the quick drying process even further. “Now, do you remember the rehearsals we did?”
“You act like Mama didn't make us practice about a thousand times.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled softly. “Mama will walk me down the aisle, then Meilin will bring Misaki. You, Meilin and Amber will act as Misaki's bridal party, with So-yi, Yayoi and Mama on my side. Then we'll turn to face each other and recite our vows and dedications. Meilin and Mama will jointly act as officiators.”
“Right.”
“There will be a lot of nonsense about true love and happy futures together, the blushing brides will have a little kiss, and everybody will cheer and clap and I'll probably ruin my makeup crying. Then I'll be headed directly for the bar to replenish any fluid lost via my undignified sobbing with booze.”
Nicole laughed. “I don't think that last step was in our rehearsals.”
“I ad-libbed that part.”
“You two plan to stay for the reception, right?”
“At least for an hour or so,” I said. “We're going to head up to the hotel room around ten-ish; we'll be staying at the hotel for a day after the wedding before we head out to drive down the Pacific Coast Highway into San Francisco.”
“You know Yoshiko would have paid for airfare.”
“Yeah, somehow I don't think the TSA would be too happy to clear a girl who has fox ears and a meter-long fluffy tail and another girl with a piece of magic-saturated metal embedded in her chest.”
“You have a point,” Nicole agreed. “Misaki absolutely refuses to disguise herself as an ordinary human any longer, huh?”
“Unless it's a matter of life and death, yes—and there's really no way to hide the Relic fragment from airport security. Besides, it'll be fun to drive down the PCH and get some really fantastic sightseeing in. Misaki loves that shit.”
The door to the bedroom opened again. Nicole moved to shield me from view, just in case it was someone who wasn't supposed to enter, but I caught sight of a trailing ribbon of sheer white fabric.
“I've brought the veil,” Mama said, handing the wispy bit of nothing to Nicole. “Done with her makeup? Is she ready to go?”
I nodded and stood up from the stool, settling with only a slight wobble on the high-heel pumps I was unfortunately stuck with. “Ready as I'll ever be, assuming I don't trip over anything, land wrong on these heels and fall flat on my face.”
“Meilin already left with Misaki,” my mother explained. “It's safe to come out of the room. You and Nicole will head out together in your car; I'll take Nicole's van and the last of the food and drink for the reception.”
“Hold still and I'll put the veil on—”
I held a hand up to stop her. “Oh, no. That thing isn't going on until right before the ceremony. I'll set it on fire if I smoke, and I'm going to smoke right now.” I walked out of the room, thankful that the gown Mama picked out was short, per my specifications, not one of those ridiculous long-trained things that she and my sister wore for their weddings.
Entering the kitchen, I opened the fridge and pulled out a can of milk coffee. I longingly stared at the bottles of dark amber ale, but I had to be strong. Walking around in these fucking spike heeled foot-torture devices would
not
be fun with alcohol in my system. Once the ceremony ended, I'd be free to ditch them for a pair of flats.
Nicole and Mama came into the kitchen after me, my sister-in-law still holding the veil in her hands. I opened my milk coffee and downed almost half the drink before lighting my cigarette and blowing out a plume of bluish-white smoke.
“Karin dear, try to keep the smoking to a minimum today,” Mama admonished. “Don't use it as an excuse to disappear from the reception, either. You and Misaki are only going to be there for an hour, after all.”
I rolled the cool milk coffee bottle across my forehead. It was freezing outside, of course, but with all the activity indoors I was a little bit warm. “I know, Mama. We'll mingle, don't worry.”
“Hurry up and finish that so we can get going. The ceremony starts in three hours!”
I puffed a few more times, trying to suppress the urge to roll my eyes.
“Yes, Mama.”