Devil's Kiss (Hellhounds Motorcycle Club Book 1) (5 page)

He stroked his beard slowly as he thought. “Okay. I’ll figure something out.” He smiled at me, that smile that made me get all squishy inside. “I want to be with you, to help you… and I always get what I want.”

“Not this time, you won’t.”

His smile broadened. “We’ll see. So it’s a girl?”

“What?” I asked as my brow wrinkled and I tried to follow the sudden turn in the conversation.

“You said ‘I don’t want her father coming home completely shit-faced every night.’ So I asked if you knew it was a girl.”

“Oh. No. Too early. Why?”

He gave me a lopsided grin. “I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter, but having a little girl would be cool.”

I smiled softly. I was kind of hoping for a little girl myself. “Just healthy. That’s all I want. Healthy and with as normal of a life as I can provide.”

Cain stepped in close and I could, once again, feel the pull of him. “Normal would be to have a mother
and
a father.”

“A father who was home every night.”

“I could be home every night,” he said as he moved in closer. “I could take care of both my girls.”

I took a step back, not liking the way he was making me feel. “You can’t even take care of yourself. The last time I saw you, you were only two drinks from being face down in a gutter.”

Cain snickered. “Not my finest hour, I admit. But look at me now. Two drinks, just as I said.”

I had to give him that. After his two drinks, he had switched to soda. “You said you wanted this to be a night to remember. Think you will remember it now?”

He stepped in close again and pulled me gently to him, his arms going around me. He smiled as he brought his lips close to mine. “It has been a memorable night, that’s for sure.” He kissed me gently on the lips and I swear I could feel my toes tingle. “It’s late. We can talk more about this in the morning.”

I wanted him. I wanted him so badly. “No,” I said as I pushed him gently away and slipped from his embrace. “No. There is nothing left to talk about.”

“There’s a lot to talk about,” he said quietly as he held my hands, bringing one to his lips. “What will you do after the baby is born? How will you live?”

“I have savings,” I said, pulling my hand away. “I’ll be fine.”

“You need me.” He moved to kiss me again but I turned away.

“Just go.”

He tried to turn my face toward him but I resisted. He didn’t increase the pressure, didn’t force me to turn, but pulled at my chin with a gentle, steady, pressure until I turned to face him. He kissed me, softly, just a feathery touch of his lips to mine before he kissed me on the forehead. “I always get what I want,” he said softly before he backed off. He touched my belly gently, a slow caress before he stepped back and smiled at me. “Thank you for telling me.”

“You had a right to know.”

“Yes. But you still could have made the choice to not tell me. Thank you, Alex. I mean that.” He smiled again and walked to the front door. As he opened it, he looked back at me and smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” then stepped into the night.

I moved to the door, locked it, then stood, confused by what I was feeling until I heard his bike rumble to life then fade into the distance. I shook myself. What I was feeling was just the hormones talking. I hoped. I couldn’t be involved with Cain. I
couldn’t!

Chapter 5

I walked out of the bedroom and into the living area of my house, yawning and scratching myself awake. It was only eleven in the morning, but I had a doctor’s appointment at two and I hated feeling rushed in the mornings. With another huge yawn, I stepped to the windows and cranked open the blinds in the kitchen, then did the same for the living room. When I opened the front door to allow the morning sun to pour in, I squeaked in surprise. Cain was sitting on the steps to my porch.

“Good morning,” he said, twisting around so he could face me.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded without opening the glass storm door between us.

“I told you that I would see you this morning when I left last night.”

“How long have you been sitting out there?”

“Only a couple of hours.”

“A couple of
hours
? You’ve been sitting there since nine o’clock?”

“About eight-forty-five, actually,” he said with a grin. “I didn’t want to miss you.”

I debated on what to do. I couldn’t decide if he was sweet or creepy. “What are you, a stalker?”

He laughed. “No. I was hoping to have another chance to talk to you after we had a good night’s sleep.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

He sighed. “May I please come in? My ass is starting to hurt from sitting on these concrete steps.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Alex, please. I really need to talk to you.”
He made no threatening move or tried to force his way in. He didn’t even rise from the steps.

I unlocked and opened the door in invitation. “Okay. But I have something to do later, so you are going to have to make it quick.”

He grinned then rose and stretched his back with a couple of twists before stepping up to the door. “Thank you. You look lovely this morning.”

“Don’t even try,” I warned. He was neat and put together, where I was bed tossed and dressed in baggy black and gold sweats with the Saints logo on them. “Can I get you anything?”

“Coffee, if you have it.”

“Not yet, but I was planning on brewing some.” I busied myself in the kitchen to get the machine going. “What is it you want to talk to me about?”

“Me.”

I blinked a couple of times as I mentally replayed what he had said to make sure I heard him correctly. “You?”

“Yeah. You don’t know what you are getting into, but I do. I thought I would share some life experiences with you. I really do want to help you, Alex. And whether you believe it or not right now, you
will
need help.”

“And you know this, how?”

Cain pulled out a chair at my table and sat down, motioning for me to do the same. Once I was down, he began. “I thought over what has happened last night, and I realized that you could be my mother.” He held up his hand to silence me when I started to speak. “Just let me finish. Mom said I was conceived during a one night stand. Mom worked at
The Lancaster Hotel
in Houston. It’s a very upscale place catering to the rich and powerful. She was in charge of guest services, the concierge, everything to do with making sure the guests’ stay was pleasant, that sort of thing. Anyway, one night, this oilman came in and threw a lot of money around. Long story short, she ended up spending the night with him. Like you, she got pregnant. Unlike you, she was older and when she contacted him, she found out he was married and he denied everything. Rather than create a scandal, she just decided to raise me on her own. She is a lot like you. Determined, strong, and hard-headed.”

“She told you all of this?”

“Yes. When I was older. Everything except his name. Things went okay for a while. But when I was born, it got tougher. She started missing work because of me. Finally, they demoted her. Then she had trouble making ends meet and we started a slow spiral into poverty. One day her car broke down and she didn’t have the money to replace it. It took over a month to scrape together enough money to fix it, and she had to beg rides to work. That was the last straw and she was fired. Then she started working where and when she could. I was old enough to remember when she was fired. I hated how she cried all the time and I remember thinking that if I just ran away, she wouldn’t have to take care of me and she would be happy again. She was a proud woman. She didn’t like living on government handouts and charity. I can barely remember living in our house, then an apartment, but finally we ended up in assisted living. We never had anything. I remember for Christmas, when I was ten, I got a package of underwear, a package of socks, and a few pieces of candy. That was it.”

I listened with rapt attention. Cain spoke softly and matter of factly, as if reading from a book. I could tell he wasn’t asking for my sympathy, but was delivering a cautionary tale.

“At one point, I can’t remember how old I was, I remember that all we had to eat was rice for a while.” He had been staring into space as he spoke, reliving his memories behind his eyes. But then he looked at me and I saw him return from the past.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly.

“Nothing to be sorry about. But I wanted you to know how quickly it can all turn on you. My grandparents, I guess they helped as much as they could. I know I would go spend time with them when I was small, when things got really tough. As I got older, it got easier. But she would probably be the manager of the
Lancaster
by now and pulling down six figures, not managing a
Best Western.
And it was all because of me and the fact that she was too stubborn to go to court to force a paternity test and make the father take responsibility for what happened. She was afraid the scandal would cost her her career. In the end, it didn’t matter. She lost her career anyway.”

“And you don’t know who your father is?”

“No. She simply will not tell me. Not even his first name. Claims ‘it’s water under the bridge,’ whatever the hell that means.”

“Is that how you became involved in the Hellhounds?”

Cain shrugged. “As I grew up, I found out that I had the gift of gab, I guess you could say. I could talk anyone into anything. Or talk my way out of anything. When I was in high school, Mom was dating a Hellhound. I talked my way into the club. I started out washing their bikes for a little spending money. I was like their pet, I guess. Anyway, they sort of took me under their wing, and here I am.”

“And what do you do, again?”

Cain sighed. “Are we back on this again? Remember how I said I could talk anyone into anything? That’s what I do. I sell stuff for the Hellhounds. That’s it. No different than any other salesman.”

I got up and poured up a couple of cups from the coffee flagon then turned and set one in front of him. “How do you take it?”

“Black. Thanks.”

Rather than beat him up about what I knew he wouldn’t tell me, I tried a different tact. “Why do you work for the Hellhounds?”

“Because I have no marketable skills. Because they gave me a home and treated me well. Because the money is good. And because I’m good at my job.”

“If you are that good of a salesman, why don’t you find a real job?”

I saw his lips tighten. “I have a real job.”

“Sorry. Let me rephrase that. Why don’t you get a job where you don’t have to dance around what you do? Like selling cars for example, or something like that.”

“I told you what we do, whether you believe it or not.”

“Machined parts for a machine? A machine that isn’t illegal but you can’t tell me what it is?”

“That’s right. And to answer the other part of your question, because I make more money now than I could possibly hope to make selling cars. Because the Hounds need me. And because I can’t put what I do on a résumé
.”

“Why not, if it isn’t illegal?”

“Would you hire a guy that has worked the last five years for a motorcycle club?”

“That’s my point, Cain. That’s what I’ve been saying all along. What you do is either legal or illegal. If you can’t put it on a
résumé, why should I believe you that it is legal?”

“Just forget it,” he sighed.

“I can’t forget it!” I cried as I slapped my hands on the table. “That’s the whole problem. I don’t want to trade one problem for a worse one.”

“And I’m telling you, it isn’t like you think! I have a right to be involved with this child. It’s my child, too! And whether you believe it or not, you are going to need some help. I don’t want him or her having to grow up like I did. I
want
to help you, Alex. Why don’t you believe me?”

“How can I believe you? You won’t tell me what you do. You won’t even tell me what you do is legal. You walked out on me after one night without so much as a goodbye. Why should I trust you on anything?”

I saw him go red in the face. “That’s not fucking fair,” he said, his voice deadly quiet. “You knew what you were getting into. I made no commitments and no promises to you, and you fucking know it. You got what you wanted and so did I. So don’t hand me that shit. You’re just as guilty as I am. Do you really want to punish your child over something like that? Because if you do, then you are one cold-hearted bitch.”

“Fuck you, you asshole! Get out of my house!”

He made no move to rise. “What? Does the truth hurt? You know what your problem is? You’re so fucking stubborn that you won’t listen to reason.”

“Get out!” I screamed.

He rose to his feet. “Fine. I’ll go. But we’re not done with this, Alex. Not by a long shot. I’ll come back later when you have had time to cool off. You might take this time to think about what’s best for
our
baby, and try to forget your stupid pride.”

“I won’t be here later. I’ll be at the doctor’s office, then work. So you can just get on your fucking motorcycle and ride your ass back to Dallas.”

“I’m not leaving here until we get this resolved.” He paused a moment as he looked at me. “What doctor’s appointment?”

“None of your goddamned business. Get… out!”

“If it is a prenatal visit, it is most certainly my business.”

“Well, I’m not telling you. Now are you going to leave or do I have to call the cops?”

“I’ll leave if that is what you want. But if you are going to the baby doc, I’m going.”

“You don’t know where it is.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll just follow you there then. Won’t that be fun?” he said turning in a slow circle and waving his hands about. “You making a scene in the doctor’s office, trying to keep the father of your child from finding out the results of your tests. I’ll demand a paternity test right then and there, to get on record as the child’s father. Is that what you want? It’s not what I want, but I’ll do it, and you know I will.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

Cain stared me in the eyes and smiled, and I knew he wasn’t bluffing. “Try me.”

***

We walked into Crescent City Physicians about ten minutes before my appointment. I wasn’t happy about having Cain along, but when I finally backed down he had been nothing but helpful and gracious. He was pissing me off because he was making it damned difficult to stay mad at him and I could feel my resolve softening. Damn him.

I filled out all the paperwork and filled in Cain’s name when he rapped on the clipboard with a finger when I skipped
Father’s Name
the first time. When I finished the paperwork he took the clipboard from me and returned it to the nurse’s station where he spent a few minutes talking with the nurse.