“You’re doing good, girl,” Eddie said, looking me hard in the eyes. “Damn good.”
I managed a smile, then cringed because the movement hurt my nose. He chuckled, then headed out of the room.
“There’s another way,” I told Stuart as soon as Eddie was gone. “If we screw up and can’t bind Lilith and she gets the ceremony started to twine Odayne and Eric together, there’s still one way left that can save Eric’s soul.” I licked my lips, hating what I was about to say. “If I die, Eric not only dies, but his soul goes free. Lilith pretty much admitted that little loophole.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” He stared at me as if I’d gone insane. “There is no way you’re—”
“No,” I agreed. “I’m not. I can’t.” I pressed my palm against his cheek. “I
won’t
do it.” But I looked away then, tears filling my eyes. “I feel so guilty. There’s a solution. A way to save a man’s
soul
. A man I love, and Stuart, I really do love him. It’s right there, and I can reach out and touch it. But I can’t take it. I can’t.”
“Of course you can’t,” Stuart said, holding me close as I clung to him. “You can’t,” he repeated. “And Eric wouldn’t want you to.”
About that, though, I wasn’t so sure. Because there’d been a time in my life when I would have willingly gone into the abyss to save Eric’s soul, and when I was certain he would have done the same to save mine.
But I wasn’t that girl anymore, and my future now lay with the man who now held me in his arms, gently stroking my hair.
I would try to save Eric, yes. But I wasn’t going to sacrifice my life or my family to do it.
Federal Express delivered the
ring with Solomon’s Stone Thursday morning with advertised swiftness. All good and well, but the stone was useless to us without both Eric and Lilith.
“So what’s the plan?” Allie asked, bouncing Timmy on her lap and popping dry Lucky Charms into her mouth. “I’m only eating these ’cause I need the sugar for energy. Next week, I’m totally going back to Kashi.”
“Mellow!” Timmy said, picking out a green marshmallow. “Wanna eat mellows!”
“Get your own bowl, twerp,” Allie said, but she reached across the table to fill her own bowl up higher to share.
“Don’t feed him that,” I said automatically, but the odds of me pursuing that particular point were slim. My mind was too occupied with other things to worry about basic childhood nutrition. “Since I’m not going to be with you, I want all of you to stay at the mansion today,” I said. “For that matter, I want you in the safe room. Laura and Mindy and Cutter, too,” I added, picking up the phone to call Laura’s house.
She answered on the first ring, and I told her what I wanted. “Hang on a sec,” she said, then came back to the phone not two minutes later. “We’ll meet you there,” she said, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Tell Cutter I said
good morning
.”
“We were just going over some figures for the studio,” she said, but I could hear the smile in her voice.
“I’ve got work,” Stuart said, then he caught the expression on my face. “Fortunately, I’ve already put a wireless router in the mansion. I’ll have one of the paralegals e-mail me the agreements to review.”
“Rita’ll keep,” Eddie said. “Hate to break our first date, but sometimes allowances gotta be made.”
I collapsed into an empty chair nursing my cup of coffee. “I love you guys. We pull this off, and Lilith’s history.”
Allie looked at me, her blue eyes wide and innocent. “Yeah,” she said. “And there’s a good chance that Daddy’s history, too.”
I held out my hand, and she took it, squeezing hard. I hoped that only Odayne would be thrust into the ether when Lilith was bound in the ring, but I couldn’t guarantee it.
“He’s smart, your daddy,” Eddie said. “And he loves you. He’ll find his way back. He did it once before.”
“He had help then,” she said. “He got to piggyback on the demon.”
“It is done, though,” I said. “Father Corletti said so. Not often, but it’s done. If anyone can do it, your father can.”
“He’ll be someone else. He might be in China or Russia or the South of France. And he could be in the ether for decades. Time’s different there, right?”
“But he’ll be back,” I said more firmly. “Back and without a demon. His soul his own.” I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight with second thoughts, even though I knew this was for the best. More than that—it was perfect. The only clean solution. Or as clean as it could be considering we had to get Eric to cooperate and Lilith in the trap.
When I thought about it that way, the solution wasn’t so perfect. On the contrary, I had to wonder if we were screwed.
“There’s no other solution,” I said, as much to them as to myself. I pushed back from the table, unable to sit still. “We need to get going.”
Allie and Stuart exchanged glances, but didn’t argue. They both headed out of the kitchen to gather their stuff, Allie passing Timmy off to me on the way.
I plopped him on the counter and peeled a banana, trading bites with him as we waited.
“You don’t have anything you want to take?” I asked Eddie.
He patted the pocket of the oversized shirt he was wearing. “Ian Fleming. Seeing as I’m working in the intelligence trade now, I figure I gotta know the literature.”
I laughed. Couldn’t argue with that.
“We ain’t gonna live like this forever, girl.”
“This works the way I want it to, and we won’t have to.”
We took the van, figuring if they needed to leave for some reason—and I warned them that they’d better not—they could take Laura’s car. In fact, Laura and crew were waiting for us when we got there, not having had to waste time gathering toddler toys the way I had, remembering at the last minute that there was no way Timmy was going to last in an empty house without a variety of amusing distractions.
At the mansion, I waited until they were tucked away inside the safe room, and then I kissed my family good-bye and promised to be back soon.
“Be careful, Mom,” Allie said. “They can’t kill you, but . . .” She trailed off, as if saying it would make it come true.
I brushed my fingertips lightly over my bruised and swollen nose. “I know,” I said, and then I left the family I loved to go try to save a man I loved.
Sixteen
I couldn’t find him
. I went all over San Diablo, checking the fancy hotels and the dives, Eric’s apartment, and Nadia’s old digs.
I walked the beach. I roamed the parks. And I found no sign of him.
When I got back to the mansion, I found my family and friends camped out in the safe room.
“Stay or go?” Stuart asked.
“Home,” I said.
Allie frowned. “Do you think that’s okay?”
I nodded. I couldn’t be certain, of course, but instinct told me that Nadia would want to keep herself and Eric as far away from me and mine as possible until after she’d bound herself to Lilith and until after Odayne was bound to Eric. Any other scenario, and Eric might try to break free, might fight her and help me.
Which at least explained why I’d had no luck in that department. But the tiny bit of good news was that—assuming I was right—we were all safe for the night.
I told everyone my thoughts, and they agreed. “Damn good reasoning,” Eddie said. “Course Lilith’s a crazy bitch and you can’t predict crazy, but I’d say the odds are in our favor.”
Not a completely rousing endorsement, but it was good enough, and we piled back in our cars and headed home. I’d asked Cutter and Laura to stay at our house, but Laura had declined. Cutter, however, promised to stick close by. And that, I figured, was something.
Timmy was asleep by the time we got home, and I tucked him gently in bed, with Stuart looking over my shoulder. “Allie needs you,” he said. “And then I need you, too.”
I kissed him hard and long. “A promise,” I said. “I’ll see you in a few.”
He pressed a soft kiss to my nose, and I headed down the hall for Allie’s room, where I found her already curled up in bed.
“Hey,” I said, climbing in beside her and pulling her close. “You okay?”
“He’s in there, Mom,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “He’s in there and he’s fighting, and we have to find him and get him out. Promise me. Promise me this is going to work.”
I drew in a noisy breath. “You know I can’t promise that, baby.”
“Do it anyway.”
I felt the ring in my pocket press into my hip. The stone that was going to solve our problems. The panacea that was going to make Lilith go away. “I promise,” I said, and I damn sure hoped I wouldn’t have to break it.
“Sleep here with me tonight?”
I thought of Stuart alone in our bed, and knew that he would understand. “Absolutely,” I said, and held her tight. The last time she’d snuggled in my bed, she’d been nine, and we’d just learned that her father had been murdered. She’d slept with me for three solid months, and then she’d announced one day that she was doing okay, and that she needed to be a big girl and go back to her own bed. She hadn’t backpedaled. Not once.
I’d been proud of her then for knowing it was time to grow up.
And I was proud of her now for being grown up enough to ask me to be there for her.
“We’re going to stop Lilith and we’re going to free your father.”
“I know you are,” she said. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, baby,” I said, and then I fell asleep with wisps of tears on my eyes.
Friday arrived as an
oasis of sanity in a week gone mad. I’d fallen down on the job with regard to Allie’s party preparations, and that meant that today I wasn’t going to worry about Eric’s whereabouts or fear an imminent attack from Lilith or Nadia or whoever the hell she was today. Instead, I was going to run around to grocery stores and party-supply stores. I was going to buy fancy little cupcakes. And I was going to desperately, frantically wonder what on earth the mother of the fifteen-year-old birthday girl was supposed to wear to a party.
Because even without all her friends there—even without her father as part of the crowd—I still wanted to make this the best birthday possible for Allie. I wanted, at least a little, to live inside the illusion that not only would everything be okay, but that it was already fine and dandy.
Foolish, I know, but for a few hours I needed the foolishness. Honestly, I think we all did.
Before all of that, however, I had to see the birthday girl herself, and so I tiptoed into her room with a wrapped package under my arm and a toasted bagel in my hand, a single candle stuck atop a schmear of cream cheese. Despite the fact that my wide and varied talents do not include singing, I belted out “Happy Birthday,” causing my normally groggy-in-the-morning daughter to sit bolt upright, a smile wide across her face.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m fifteen.”
“I know,” I said. “I was there when you were born.”
She smirked and held out her hand for the bagel. “Do I get to make a wish?”
“Absolutely,” I said, and although she didn’t tell me what she wished for, I knew. I was wishing for the same thing, even without flaming breakfast products.
“So,” she said casually, after taking a bite from her birthday bagel. “Is that for me?”
I pulled the package out from under my arm and looked at it, feigning surprise. “Huh. Now where on earth did that come from?”
“Gimme!” she squealed, and bounced on the bed in pretty much the same manner as when she was six.
“Stuart and I got you some more presents that you can open tonight at the party,” I said. “But this one’s from me.”
“Yeah?” She hefted the box, which I’d wrapped in the Sunday comics since I could find no wrapping paper in our house. About fourteen inches long and five inches wide with a depth of about two inches. And she was examining every bit of it. “Hmmm,” she said, pressing her ear close and shaking it. “A dagger,” she said smugly. “I knew it.”
“Allie,” I said, with a shake of my head. “You won’t know for sure until you open it.”
“Good point,” she said, and ripped into the paper with a laugh. In seconds, she was down to the box, which she sat on her lap as she tugged the lid off. I fought a smile as she looked at the beautiful necklace with the silver pendant. The one I’d bought at the jewelry store near Eddie’s spy shop. “Oh, wow,” she whispered. And though I knew she was expecting a different present and was desperately hiding her disappointment, she drew it out and hooked it around her neck. “It’s amazing. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, still trying not to smile. “I thought the colors would coordinate nicely with the leather of the sheath.”
“Oh,” she said, confused. Then her eyes narrowed and she peered up at me. “Sheath?”
I shrugged and nodded toward the box. With a scowl, she lifted it, her face lighting up as she realized that the weight was a bit more significant than an empty box would be. She tugged out the paper on which the necklace had rested and revealed a pearl-handled steel dagger tucked into a rich, brown leather sheath.
“Wow,” she said, taking it out and stroking a finger reverentially over the finely crafted handle. “Really? For me?”
“Got your initials and everything,” I said, motioning for her to turn it over. There, engraved on the blade, were the initials AEC—Alison Elizabeth Crowe. “It’s yours, baby. You earned it.”
She caught me in a huge bear hug and, thankfully, had enough presence of mind to leave the knife on the bed when she did so. “This is awesome, Mom. And this is going to be the best birthday ever.”
I smiled and hugged her back, but I saw the shadow in her eyes. Not quite the best birthday, I thought. But for today, at least, maybe we could all pretend.
Actually, it turned out that pretending wasn’t really required. The day passed so swiftly with preparations—and so safely without signs of brooding or attacking demons—that none of us thought of much other than getting everything ready at the theater. “We really don’t have to go all out,” she said, over and over. “I told everyone I’m sick, remember? That the party’s off. So it’s not like we have to fix the place up still.”