“Perfect,” he murmured. “You are perfect. Now lie as still as you can while I show you how perfect.”
His hand, slightly roughened, cupped one of her breasts, lifting it and squeezing it gently. She could barely breathe now as fresh rivers of heat flowed through her. Then his thumb brushed her nipple and she arched helplessly, need elevating to heights she had never imagined.
“Shh, shh,” he whispered as his thumb continued to taunt her and tease her. “Just feel. Just feel the wonder.”
She couldn’t do anything at all except feel. Thought vanished to some distant horizon and every cell in her focused on his touch. Each brush of his thumb ratcheted her longing, stoking the fire that seemed to have no limits.
She almost cried out when he released her, but then he cupped her other breast and repeated his caresses. She had never guessed the sensitivity of her nipples, not once. Now she knew, and she loved it.
A helpless cry escaped her when he replaced his thumb with his mouth, drawing her into his wet warmth, then flicking her with his tongue. She grabbed his head, as if fearing he would draw away, but as soon as she did, he sucked even more strongly, as if he would pull her into himself.
She would have liked nothing more. With each flick of his tongue, everything inside her tightened, answering his rhythm with growing hunger. Anticipation dizzied her as her body began to respond with helpless, gentle movements. It seemed to know the way, even if she did not.
She moaned softly as he released her, afraid he was going to disappear. Her eyes fluttered open to see him sit up and cast aside his own shirt.
He had a beautiful chest, and her body reacted to the sight instantly with a deep clenching. Smooth skin, bronzed as if sun-kissed, strong layers of muscle that rippled as he moved. She needed no encouragement to reach up and run her hands over him, awestruck by the sensation of his warm skin beneath her palms. She was awed by the freedom as he allowed her to explore his planes, angles and hollows.
How had she ever thought she could live without this?
He smiled sleepily, letting her touch him as she chose while running his own hand over her swollen breasts and down across her stomach. The caresses only deepened her excitement, causing her breaths to come in gasps.
Then he lay over her, propped on his arms, looking down into her eyes for a second before he bent his head and began to kiss every inch of her. All she could do was cling to his shoulders as if she feared falling. Or losing him.
But he didn’t vanish. With lips and tongue he covered her in kisses that aroused her until she thought she couldn’t stand any more. Instinctively, she tried to reciprocate, running her hands over whatever she could reach of his shoulders and back, but never did he come close enough for her to kiss him as he kissed her.
He painted her with fire, driving everything from her world except him and the eruption he was building inside her. The throbbing, pulsing ache between her thighs became nearly painful in its strength. Her heart hammered wildly. She needed...oh, heavens, she barely knew what she needed.
He pulled away, and this time she cried out in protest.
“Easy,
mi querida.
There’s more.”
Oh, man was there more. He ditched his pants, showing her for the very first time a man in full arousal. She nearly gasped. He was so big, and she suddenly felt very small and vulnerable. He waited a moment, letting her see, then caught her hand and wrapped it around his staff.
She gasped, hardly able to believe that his skin felt silken, or that something that felt so soft could also feel as hard as steel. He moved her hand on him, showing her, and she watched as he sucked air and threw his head back. A huge sense of power filled her. She could make him react like that?
But he didn’t give her long to learn him. He had more to show her. When he tugged away her pants and underwear, she felt no shyness this time, only eagerness. Every cell in her body was demanding more.
“New surprises,” he murmured.
He lifted her knees and then spread them wide, kneeling between them. She threw her arms over her eyes, afraid suddenly, but the fear didn’t last long.
The gentlest of caresses traced her lips, driving fear away and replacing it with more amazed hunger. That a touch so light... Her mind spun away.
Over and over he drew his fingertips lightly across her most secret flesh, teasing her to the brink of insanity. Her hips began to rise and fall helplessly, responding to the lightest touches.
“You are exquisite,” he whispered, filling her with a wonder that nearly matched her need. Then, gently, he parted her petals. The sensation of cool air down there overwhelmed her. Never had she felt so exposed or helpless, and she was loving it. Loving it.
He found a knot of nerve endings so sensitive that when he touched it she cried out. The sensations that filled her nearly shattered her. She cried out his name, needing, wanting and having no words for it.
“A moment,” he said gently. “A moment.”
She pried her eyes open to see him roll on a condom, and wished she could have done it herself.
“Are you sure?”
She managed a nod, wanting to sink back into the lava that was pouring so hotly through her.
“There will be a little pain...”
She felt him nudge at her with his hardness, then a tearing sensation that caused her to gasp and dig her nails into the bed.
“It’ll pass,” he said, lowering himself over her as he entered fully. He cupped her face and sprinkled more kisses on her. “It will pass.”
It did, too, and as jarring as the pain had been, it vanished quickly in the heat he rebuilt by kissing her, by sucking on her breasts, just by the very weight and feel of him between her legs.
When it faded completely, she was again consumed by need, and tentatively lifted her hips to bring him even closer. At once he started to move in her, taking her completely to another world as he pumped, first gently and then more strongly.
His head lowered, a long sigh escaped him, then a moan. The sound of his moan added to the pleasure building in her. She began to fly upward like a rocket on its way to the moon. As every sensation seemed to grow harder, her body seemed to grow softer until she hovered on a precipice she had never known existed. Her nails dug into his shoulders, her head arched back. A mindless plea began a drumbeat in her head, in her body. She almost feared she might never find what lay over the lip of this pinnacle.
Then she tumbled, falling endlessly as satisfaction gripped her repeatedly, each pulse of her body sending a new wave through her. She became a thousand glowing embers of sheer pleasure.
She felt him pump into her one more time, hard. Then his back arched and a deep groan escaped him.
Moments later he sagged onto her. She felt replete, weak and oh, so happy.
A long breath escaped her at last, and she settled back to earth in his arms.
Chapter 9
A
ustin wrapped Corey in his arms and held her close beneath the covers. If she could have purred, he suspected she would have. He had enough experience to know that he had truly pleased her. Honestly, he probably would have purred, too, if he could. Other lovers, other times, other places, nothing quite matched what he had just shared with this woman.
He wanted to luxuriate with her in this, but he wasn’t the sort who could lose track of reality for too long. That had helped keep him alive for six years. But right now he was asking himself only one question: Had he just made the biggest mistake of his life?
This woman had given him an infinitely precious gift and he knew it. But in his way, he had barged right in, first telling her how she was hiding, then taking her to bed. While she might be feeling wonderful at the moment, and she seemed to be, it remained that he might just have added to the scars she already bore.
He’d shoved past her walls, breaking down her carefully constructed defenses, at least where he was concerned. He wasn’t sure if idiocy had pushed him, or desire, but either way he might have weakened something she truly needed.
He didn’t feel very good about himself right then. Sooner or later he was going to have to go back to work. Back to D.C. What would that do to her? She’d let one man into her tower and then he took off?
God, it had been killing him to watch her live in that prison, but now he’d yanked at least one bar out and he had no way of knowing if he’d made her less safe by doing it.
She stirred and snuggled closer. He immediately tightened his arms around her. One special woman. Maybe he just needed to focus on that part.
“I’d like to do that again,” she murmured.
He brushed her hair back from her face. “Me, too,
querida.
”
“What’s that mean,
querida?
”
“It derives from the verb
querer.
To want, to need, to desire. So you can translate it as dear, or darling, or more bluntly, woman that I desire.”
Her lips curved. “Mmm, I like that.”
“It’s a common endearment between couples.”
“I like that, too.”
Couples, he thought. Were they a couple? She probably thought so. Maybe they were. He’d certainly spent enough time trying to get into Rapunzel’s tower. The only question he hadn’t asked himself was why.
Sighing at his own stupidity, he held her close and caressed her, thinking that he’d better get himself sorted out fast, before he made things worse for her.
He suddenly remembered something his uncle had said to him one summer when he was sixteen and visiting the
finca.
He’d been exchanging longing looks with the daughter of a neighbor, a beautiful girl of fifteen. Her dark eyes had snapped at him, and if she’d ever escaped the watchful eye of her
dueña
, something might have happened between them. But then his uncle took him aside and gave him a warning. “You can’t have a one-night stand with a virgin.”
Hell.
* * *
Cuddling with Austin felt so good, and Corey was savoring every instant of it. He had showed her a beautiful new world, and she wanted to replay every moment of it in her mind, over and over. She loved lying with him like this, skin on skin. Who would have ever thought it could feel so delicious?
She also experienced a newfound sense of freedom. No more pretenses, everything was out in the open now. She could reach out and touch him anytime she wanted. She no longer needed to hang back or hold back. She felt as if she could fly, as if she were weightless. The cage and the fears that had cramped her for so long seemed to have vanished.
At least for now. Tomorrow would come, and with it all the fears and worries. Nor was she deluded. Austin had come here for a place to get away and sort himself out—not that he struck her as needing a whole lot of sorting—and he would be leaving. Three months, Gage had said. She had no reason to believe that was going to change.
She assured herself she could handle the situation, that she would treasure this time with him and move on. There was no need for it to be anything more than a fling and she’d keep her heart guarded. She certainly had enough experience with that.
Confident of her ability to handle whatever happened, perhaps foolishly so, she turned her head to look up at him and realized that his face reflected tension.
“Is something wrong?” she asked. Her glow began to fade rapidly.
“No,” he said swiftly, and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I’m lying here with a beautiful woman enjoying an incredible afterglow.”
Exactly the right thing to say, but she didn’t believe him. She hesitated, wondering if she should just accept his words at face value or press the issue. She didn’t have a whole lot of experience with relationships of this kind. Well, no experience, to be precise. But she was also a grown woman and no fool. Nor had she ever been one, even as a child, to accept a pat on the head and vague reassurance.
Sighing, she sat up, clutching the coverlet to her breasts.
“Corey?”
“Just don’t lie to me, Austin. I may be only twenty-five, but I’ve had plenty of experience with the downside of life. All I want is truth, not soothing nothings.”
“Nothings? I wasn’t lying.”
“You weren’t exactly being truthful, either. Something is bothering you.”
“Amazing.”
“What is?”
“I’m not usually easy to read. In fact, I’ve worked very hard not to be.”
“So tell me.” She waited, her heart skipping a few beats. Maybe she was a terrible lover. How would she know? She had no experience by which to measure. Nerves began to turn her stomach over. “Austin?”
“It was wonderful. It was beautiful. You’re fantastic and I want to make love to you again. Unfortunately, I’m having a belated attack of guilt.”
“For what? I thought we just had a great time.”
“We did. But was it right? You gave me something precious, Corey, but maybe I shouldn’t have accepted it.”
She began to feel confused. “Why not? You gave me plenty of opportunity to say no.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you deserve someone with something to offer you. I have to go back to Washington eventually. How’s that going to make you feel? Like you’ve been used?”
Her jaw dropped in surprise as she understood the route his mind had taken. Guilt? For the pleasure they had just shared because he couldn’t make her promises of any kind? That gave her his measure more clearly than anything could have. Her nervousness eased in a wave of warmth toward him.
“You’re remarkable,” she said.
“Me? Not really.”
“Yes, really. I may have lived in a cave most of my life, but I gather the vast majority of men wouldn’t feel the least bit of guilt. So, relax. I have no regrets.”
His face seemed to say that he hoped she didn’t have any later, but then it smoothed over and he smiled. “I guess we’ll see. Are you hungry? Because much as I’d like to go right on holding you, my stomach is rumbling.”
He reached out before she could move, though, and drew her down on his chest, brushing her hair back with his hands, then pulling her close for a deep kiss. When he let her catch her breath again, his dark eyes sparkled. “Snack? Then more of you.”
* * *
One of the things Austin had noticed about this house was how heavily curtained the windows were. Upstairs they let in light, but down here they darkened the house completely. He hadn’t really thought about it until tonight, assuming they were insulation.
But now they struck him differently. Evidently she didn’t want anyone at any time to be able to look in her windows. In the time he’d been here, he’d only seen her open any of them once. At the back of his mind he’d assumed that because she was gone so much, she didn’t think about it.
Now it struck him as a sign, maybe because of those damn notes. Then another thought hit him.
Every night at a reasonable hour, he’d been turning on the lights upstairs. But not tonight. If someone was watching her, stalking her, that was more information than he wanted them to have.
While she pulled out some leftovers and started a fresh pot of coffee, he excused himself to dash upstairs. Once there, he followed his usual habit in the way he turned on the lights. Then he made a point of picking up a book and starting to flip through it, casting his shadow clearly on the thinner curtains. After a minute he wandered away as if going to settle in with a book.
He hadn’t any idea if anyone was watching, none whatsoever. But it seemed like a good idea not to take foolish chances. Little by little he’d been working himself back into form as an agent, but right now he decided he needed to speed up the recovery quite a bit.
Like mother, like daughter
could mean almost anything. Unfortunately, to him it sounded like a potentially deadly threat, although he didn’t want to say so to Corey. He didn’t know for certain, so there was no point in scaring her more than she already was. But to him those words meant less that she was like her mother, than that she was going to die like her mother. He’d gotten the sense that Gage saw them the same way but hadn’t wanted to say so where Corey might overhear.
Making his way slowly back down the stairs, knowing full well that Corey’s mind was going to be in a much happier place than his, he tried to push such thoughts away. He didn’t want to ruin this night for her, not even a little bit, by bringing ugly reality into it. Not
that
ugly reality, anyway. She’d come back to it soon enough.
So he could give her one night, at least one, during which she could feel prized and special and not afraid of anything.
It might be a fool’s paradise, but everyone needed one from time to time.
* * *
Corey smiled to herself as she heard Austin coming down the stairs. She’d already heated a few things in the microwave, and more was on the way. A feast was beginning to appear on the table.
“I think,” Austin said as he entered the kitchen, “I need to learn to cook for less than a dozen.”
“But the leftovers are so scrumptious. Didn’t you cook for yourself in Mexico?”
“Rarely. I needed to become a familiar sight, so I ate at cantinas, and kiosks, places where I could be seen. Also places where I could hear gossip.”
“I never thought about all that must go into doing what you did. You really had to burrow in.”
“That’s a good word for it.”
She popped the last of the tamales out of the microwave and placed them on the table. “Is this an old recipe, too?”
“Yes. Five to eight thousand years old. Portable food. Used by workers and by armies.”
“It’s kind of remarkable,” she said, joining him at the table with steaming cups of coffee. “In use for so long.”
“I’m sure a lot of things we eat stretch back a long way. Roast beast, for example. I’ll bet cavemen were inventing barbecue sauces.”
She laughed. “You’re probably right.”
At least he was smiling at her, not looking haunted as he had for a few minutes earlier. She didn’t want him to feel guilty or in any way disturbed by their lovemaking. For her it had been a wondrous experience and she wanted it to stay that way, not become a cause for angst. And mostly, she wanted to try it again and again. That wasn’t very likely if he started berating himself for taking advantage of her.
But she honestly didn’t know how to address the issue. She hated her lack of experience in this arena for the first time. Just hated it. She didn’t know the right things to do or say.
Lovemaking seemed to have given her an appetite, and eating gave her an excuse not to talk. Which was good, she decided. With each passing minute she felt increasingly insecure, afraid she’d say or do the wrong thing.
How did she know this man even liked her? Or that he’d enjoyed making love to her? She’d heard men didn’t need much more than a willing body to get what they wanted. Maybe for him it had been utterly pedestrian. How would she know?
She’d just shared one of life’s most intimate experiences with Austin, and here she was feeling smaller and more afraid by the minute. The devils of insecurity began to sting her with their pitchforks, reminding her of all she didn’t know, all she had never done, which made her a poor judge of what had just happened.
For her it had been amazing. But what about him? Maybe he hoped she’d just leave it at this and not bug him. Maybe he just wanted to move on.
And she feared that if she opened her mouth she’d put her foot in it.
A short while later he said, “Corey, don’t do this.”
She looked up from her miserable thoughts. “Do what?”
“You’re pulling inside yourself again. I can almost see you shrinking. What are you afraid of?”
Herself. Him. Her cheeks began to grow hot. The doing had been new enough. Talking about it seemed beyond her.
A gleam came to his eyes. “Ah,” he said, sounding as if he got it.
“Ah, what?”
“You’re asking yourself questions. Were you good enough? Was I pleased? Do I want to make love to you again?”
Now her cheeks felt so hot she wanted to put ice on them. A slow, warm smile grew on his face. “You were wonderful. I enjoyed every minute of it, and if you’ll have me, I’ll prove it again. You pleased me more than you can probably imagine.”
She couldn’t help it. She pressed her hands to her cheeks to try to cool them. He laughed kindly. “Relax,
querida.
Say and ask whatever you want. I’ve got a thick skin.”
“You don’t need one with me,” she managed to say. “It’s just...well, this is all so new to me I don’t even know how to talk about it.”
“I didn’t know there was a special way. Say whatever occurs to you. I am.”
A wave of relief washed through her, not because he had given her permission to say whatever she wanted, but because he had assured her that he was saying what was on his mind, too.
He leaned across the table and trailed his finger along her cheek. She dropped her hands.
“There’s only one first time, Corey. For anyone. It’s special. So go ahead and say anything about it you want.”
“I was just...” She really didn’t want to admit how insecure she had been growing, but he’d already figured out that part. “I keep replaying it in my head. I never want to forget an instant.”