Dearest Series Boxed Set (38 page)

T
his afternoon did not go as
planned. Jax wasn’t supposed to come climbing.

“You okay?” Brady’s gruff voice has an unexpected softness I’d never expect from a guy like him.

“Yeah. This whole thing is stupid.” I toss my bag on my bed.

“Why don’t you tell him?”

I close the door behind Brady, not wanting my roommates to hear this conversation.

Yes, I told him my whole sob story last weekend over a bottle of tequila. I’m not sure what sucks more, that Jax doesn’t remember we hooked up or that Brady is so great about my stupid feelings for Jax.

Damn it. I wish I hadn’t read Clementine’s book. I didn’t want to know that he built his sister a tree house when they were twelve. Jax had been trying to cheer her up because their parents were leaving for a month-long vacation—without them. I didn’t want to know about his childhood, that he stayed up with her all night when she had a hundred and three degree fever or that he gave his sister his lunch whenever she forgot hers.

Brady clears his throat, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Tell him. Get this over and see how he feels.”

I sigh. “That makes sense on one level. Except I can’t handle the humiliation of telling him what happened, especially after all this time. Besides, he left me at the club that night and headed straight into the arms of another woman. A ridiculously gorgeous woman.” I drop my head into my hands as I sit on the edge of my bed. “And honestly, the thought that Clem might look at me the way she looked at those girls today makes me ill.”

The bed shifts as he sits next to me, and I blather on. “Plus, she had this horrible experience with her best friend in high school who slept with her boyfriend, and everyone lied to her about it. She hates liars. And that’s me. I’m a liar.”

“This isn’t the same thing, Dani. She’ll understand.”

“Maybe. But what’s the point if Jax is banging girls two at a time?”

Brady’s lips form a straight line. I take one look at him and groan. “I suck. I’m sorry. I’m going to shut up now. Let’s talk about break. What are you and your family doing?”

That seems to relax him a little. “We’re headed to New York to visit my aunt. Your flight takes off on Wednesday evening, right?”

I nod, realizing I should get my act together if I have any intention of going home in a few days.

“How’s your mom doing?” he asks.

“Okay, but she sounds tired. And she never got the camera on her laptop fixed, so we can’t Skype. I really miss her, and I’m worried she’s not getting enough rest.” I shake my head. “I’m sure I’m making it worse in my head because I can’t see her. She’s probably fine, living it up on homemade cookies and crockpot dishes.”

When Brady leaves, I hunker down and try to get some homework done, but I keep replaying the afternoon in my head. The whole thing is on an endless loop. Busty girls in Jax’s face. How he’s probably had sex with both of them. At the same time. And obviously plans to do it again.

Ugh. #ShootMeNow

Once I finally stop thinking about Jax, I still end up tossing and turning, worrying about an art project that won’t affect my G.P.A. and wondering why I’m not more concerned about my marketing class, which does affect my G.P.A.

I get up around one in the morning, grateful that Jenna is staying with Ryan, and flip on my bedside lamp. My hand digs around in my bag, and I pull out my journal to work on a graphic design project. The topic is wealth and money, and we can explore any opinion about it as long as we convey the message with a dominant image and use two different fonts.

My journal is filled with sketches, some in black ink and others in watercolor marker. I’ve decided to explore how money corrupts, taints what might be otherwise innocent. I draw dollar signs and other images associated with wealth until I can't keep my eyes open.

On Monday when I show Professor Zin my sketches, he’s delighted and points out his three favorite, which I have to perfect for my formal submission after break. He starts to walk away after reviewing my work, but stops and leans down to me.

“I know you’re only a junior, but I might have a full-time job here for you at some point. Let’s keep this between us for now. I’ll be able to tell you more in December when I get my budget for the new fiscal year.”

“Wow, Zin. That would be amazing. Thank you for considering me, sir.”

He chuckles and fixes his tie. He’s such a grandpa. “I want to call you my star student, Dani Hart, except I’ve never had you for class. Maybe we can change that too for second semester. Check out the course listing in my office after your shift and let me know what you might want to take.”

I’m beaming all the way home despite the B I get on my marketing assignment. So I had difficulty feigning enthusiasm for marketing dog food. Sue me.

Wednesday morning comes too fast, and my roommates scurry around our suite, packing and preparing for the long weekend.

Clem gets to the door with her bag in hand and looks like she might vomit. “Holy shit. I can’t believe I’m going to meet Gavin’s family. What if they hate me?” This would be comical except she actually gets panic attacks every once in a while.

“Not possible,” Jenna says.

I chime in. “Gavin adores you. His family will too. Just relax and have fun.”

“Shit.” Clem rubs her forehead. “I feel like I’m forgetting something.” She stands in the hallway and checks to make sure she has her wallet and cell phone before she shrugs. “Whatever it is can wait, I guess. Wish me luck, girls.”

Jenna and I hug Clem before she leaves. Jenna is the next to go. She and Ryan are taking off to see his family in Pennsylvania.

Unfortunately, I still have several hours before my flight, but I get ready anyway and call Travis to chat before he leaves for Cape Cod.

“What are you wearing?” Travis asks, using his sex voice.

“Pasties and a thong.”

He laughs, and I brush my hands over my favorite pair of faded jeans that fit just right.

“Dani, you could meet the perfect man on your flight. Romances always happen on airplanes. Aren’t you glad you beautified this weekend?”

“You mean, am I glad that I had my privates glazed and de-furred by a German woman I swear was a Nazi in a former life? I don’t know that any man is worth the effort. Besides, I thought we were still operating under the assumption that Brady is the right guy, and once I get Jax out of my system, I’ll come to my senses.”

Travis sighs, and I can almost see him shaking his head. “I love Brady, I do, but if you’re not feeling any chemistry after hanging out with him for the last month, he might not be the one.”

“Don’t say that. He’s perfect for me. He’s artistic, sweet, funny, thoughtful. I have a list here somewhere.”

“You and your lists. Look, that’s how you ended up with Reid. You thought he was the right kind of guy, and you dated him despite the lack of connection.”

“Ugh, you’re depressing me.” My phone clicks with an incoming call. “I gotta go. Clem’s calling me. Be safe on your drive, and I’ll call you when I land in Chicago.”

“All right, sweets. Miss me.”

“Miss me more.”

I switch over to Clem. “Hey, what’s up? Trouble in paradise already?”

She ignores my question. “I need a
huge
favor, Dani.”

“Okay,” I say slowly.

“Remember when I said I had forgotten something?”

“Yeah.”

“I just figured it out as Gavin and I are caught in gridlock traffic.” I wave my hand at her as though she can see me urging her to spit it out already. “I have my brother’s driver’s license. He forgot it when we went climbing last weekend, so I grabbed it, and it’s sitting on my desk. I know you said your flight isn’t for several hours, right?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Could you possibly drop it off to him?”

“Sorry, Dani,” Gavin calls out in the background. “It’s probably my fault she forgot. I’ve been distracting her this week. A lot.”

I hear a smack, and he laughs before mumbling, “What? You’re the one who bought all those toys.”

She muffles the phone, and I can’t help but laugh at the two of them. I clear my throat. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you discussing vibrators. Clem, I don’t have to get to Logan until 6:30, but I don't know how I'll be able to make it to Chestnut Hill and back in time. ”

“Don't worry. I'll have Jax give you a ride to the airport." God, a car ride with Jax. I start biting my lip, anxious about seeing him. “Dani, I’ll text him now. I’m sure he’ll give you a lift. He has to. My idiot brother has been driving around town for the last several days without his ID, but he’s going to Maine, and I don’t want him to leave without it.”

Although the last thing I want to do is spend time with Jax, I'd feel terrible if he got in trouble for not having his license.

I take a deep breath. “I’ll head out now, but it’ll probably take me forty-five minutes on the T.” The Boston subway system is pretty decent, but BC is a hike.

“No, I’ll call for a cab. That way you don’t have to drag your luggage all over the city. There’s cash in my top dresser drawer. Take fifty and get lunch afterward.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, you’re doing me a huge favor. The least I can do is pay for the cab. I’ll call for one now and text you with the info in a few minutes. Dani, I totally owe you.”

I shake my head. “No, Clem, you don’t.”

“
W
hy the hell
did you invite them?” I grip the steering wheel as Nick frowns at me from the passenger seat.

“I was under the impression that you had already invited the girls to go skiing with us,” he says with more sarcasm than necessary.

I grab my phone and check the time. Dani is late. Blowing out a breath, I grumble, “Newsflash, genius. I didn’t mean it.” I had ignored their calls and thought I was out of the woods.

I sit with the engine idling for ten minutes debating whether we should grab lunch now while we wait.

“Hey, if you don’t want to wedge yourself between two gorgeous women and their unnaturally large breasts, that’s fine by me. They’re not too discriminating if I recall correctly, so…”

He lets his comment hang in the air as he waits for me to lay claim to them. Which I don’t.

Shifting my car into first, I pull into the street as my phone rings.
J-squared.
Shoot me the fuck now. Maybe I should call this off before I find myself having to avoid them on the slopes.

I’m putting the phone to my ear and about to shift into second when Nick yells and throws his fist into my chest.

My heart is caught somewhere in my throat when Dani steps off the curb. Right in front of my car.

* * *

M
y whole life
flashes before my eyes as I slam on the breaks, but my BMW slides on the damp road and barrels toward her. Dani watches as though frozen, her hair gusting in the wind. Her eyes close at the last minute when she makes contact with my car, her hand slamming onto my hood with a loud thud before she disappears on the other side.

“Dude, you hit her,” Nick says, stating the obvious.

I leap out of my seat and race around the car to find Dani on the ground, her luggage a few feet behind her. Her hair splays out beneath her like she’s floating in water. I fall on my knees next to her and brush a few strands out of her face.

Although I’m grateful I don’t see any blood, that doesn’t make me feel any better. She could still have internal injuries.

“Dani, can you hear me? Dani?”

She moans, and at the sound of her voice, my heart begins beating again.

“Jesus, man.” Nick stands next to me, offering nothing but ongoing one-liners.

Somehow I manage to find my phone.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

Speaking is difficult, but I manage to croak, “I hit a girl with my car. Hurry up, she needs an ambulance.”

I toss the phone to Nick to finish the conversation, and I turn to Dani. My thumb wipes away a tear that’s sliding down her cheek. Even though she’s unconscious, I’m struck by her beauty. Her smooth skin. Her perfect lips. The way her eyelashes barely touch her cheek. I’m overwhelmed the way a kid is the first time he realizes that space is somehow infinite and expanding.

Yeah, scared shitless.

A brief image of Dani dancing behind a cage flickers behind my eyes for some reason, and I fight the urge to cradle her in my arms.

“Why did you hit me? I wasn’t that late.” Her voice is soft, barely a whisper.

My breath catches in my chest and then I find myself laughing. “Fuck. Dani, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

“The cab dropped me off on the wrong street…”

Her eyes flutter open, and one glance at her has me aching in ways I didn’t think possible anymore. Something taps my wrist a minute before I realize it’s her hand.

“You’re going to need this,” she says, wincing.

I look down as she unwraps her fingers to reveal my driver’s license. My heart pounds out a frenzied beat as I realize I’d be totally screwed right now without it.

A siren finally cuts through the sound of blood roaring in my ears. Nick bumps me hard with his knee. “Coach is going to have your ass, man. He’ll probably kick you off the team for this.”

I grunt at him, irritated that he’s probably right, but that’s not what’s important right now. Heavy doors slam to my right as a cop runs up to us.

“Sir, step away from the woman.”

I swallow. God, I’m in deep shit.

Dani tugs on my hand. “No, don’t leave me, Jax.” Tears well up in her eyes and spill down her pale cheeks.

The policeman kneels down to take a closer look at her.

She closes her eyes briefly before she says, “Jax is my friend. I want him here.” She struggles to say every word.

With a surprised look on his face, the cop stares at me long and hard before he turns back to her. At least he doesn’t ask me to move. He feels for her pulse, asks a few questions about her injuries, and then, satisfied she looks stable, takes out a notepad. “Ma’am, can you answer a few questions about what happened?”

She shouldn’t have to deal with this. “I hit her. It was my fault. I was driving and—”

“It wasn’t his fault.” Dani pulls on my hand again until I look at her. Her face is wet, and her eyelids are heavy. Her eyes shift back to the cop. “I was, uh, on the phone, and I didn’t look for traffic when I crossed the street. I was coming to see him. Jax is my friend.”

No, I was the one on the phone.
The truth is hammering in my chest until I feel like I’m suffocating, and I look to Dani to tell her she doesn’t have to do this, but when my eyes meet hers, she shakes her head slightly.

The ambulance finally arrives, and an EMT races up to us and checks her vitals.

I stand there, answering the cop’s questions while the paramedic rips up the leg of her jeans to reveal a huge bruise along her knee and thigh. Jesus Christ. I could have killed this girl.

“Shouldn’t I know your name before you start ripping off my clothes?” she asks, making the paramedic grin. He’s a young guy, maybe in his mid-twenties.

I feel myself scowling at him.

The policeman takes another emergency call and prepares to leave. Satisfied that I didn’t intentionally try to run her over, he says I didn’t break any traffic signs and doesn’t even give me a citation.

Fuck, I owe this girl.

I watch the cruiser pull away. Nick lets out a sigh.

I’m starting to think everything will be okay, that Dani is alive and things could have been so much worse because I’m clearly a total dumbass, but that feeling of relief is short-lived as Dani starts crying when the paramedics load her in the ambulance.

“Can I go with her?” My voice is thick with emotion.

The guy shakes his head. “Family only, sir. I’m sorry.”

I don’t know where the words come from, but they’re out my mouth before I can stop. “She’s my girlfriend. I can’t let her go alone.”

Finally, he shrugs. “If it’s okay with her, it’s okay with me.” He mumbles something to her and then turns to me. “Come on.”

I toss my keys to Nick. “Here, grab her stuff and meet us at the hospital.”