Dead Girl in Love (21 page)

I looked down at her thumb, my eyes filling and blurring the tiny freckles. But everything else was crystal clear to me. I would do what whatever it took to protect the people I loved.

With new determination, I told Grammy there was one last thing I had to do for Alyce. Then I searched the locker, checking folders, books, and papers until I saw purple.

I’d found Alyce’s top secret, private purple notebook.

Pages full of drawings and Alyce’s handwriting. I flipped through them, while Grammy and Dustin watched me curiously. There was too much to explain, so I gave Dustin a look that translated to “I need some time alone.” He gave me a “gotcha” nod, then offered to take Grammy to my first class since I was headed the other direction to Alyce’s homeroom. I could tell Grammy was suspicious, but she also seemed a little nervous (first-day-of-school jitters?) and left with Dustin.

The warning bell rang, so I skimmed faster, searching for the words “grave,” “Green Briar,” or “Sam.” And in the middle of the notebook, I found them all—along with a strange drawing of a large, steep staircase leading up to a beautiful angel. Something about the drawing tickled my memory, as if I’d seen this angel before, but that wasn’t likely since Alyce didn’t share her private notebook, even with me.

I understood why, too, as I read her heartfelt agony over her mother’s depression; Mrs. Perfetti would cry for days and wouldn’t get out of bed.

Mom makes me crazy and scared. I don’t know what to do to help her. She won’t see a doctor and she wouldn’t even eat if I didn’t cook for her. She keeps crying about needing to find a lost grave
. Alyce’s tiny, slanted letters combined calligraphy and printing. She’d joked that it was her signature style, one that would be easily recognizable in the artistic world someday.

But the Alyce writing here was more concerned for her mother than any dreams of a career.
I wish I could tell someone
…
especially Amber. Only she’d feel sorry for me, which I’d hate
…
and her life is so perfect anyway that she wouldn’t understand. I wish we could trade mothers
…
I wish I wasn’t me
…

On the next page her letters were calmer, looping with elegant swirls as she listed the same cemeteries I’d found on the list in her backpack. Next to the one that said Green Briar, she’d written, “
Mom freaked out last night, screaming for her baby. It was scary, but I learned more and convinced Mom to draw a picture of where Sam was “sleeping.” Mom drew a tall iron fence and an angel with giant wings and a marble tombstone engraved with a green bush symbol above the name Angelica. Not far away lies baby Sam, the only marking a wooden plaque inscribed SAM. The bush logo could mean the headstone came from Green Briar.”

That was on the last page … and I knew what had happened next. Alyce had stolen the Green Briar file, but I’d jumped into her body with no clue how to use it. Now I did.

Digging into Monkey Bag, I pulled out the Green Briar file and searched for the name “Angelica.” And there is was, near the bottom of the page. Angelica Hightower, who died in the 1960s at the age of ninety-eight. A woman named Jane Hightower had purchased the headstone for the grand sum of $325 (which was a lot back then from what Grammy used to tell me). But there was no mention of where Angelica had been buried.

I regretted sending Dustin away, now that I could really use his online link via Headquarters .02. I’d try to catch him between classes.

Then I hurried off to my class, thinking how ironic it was that on what could be my last day of school ever, I was in Alyce’s body. When I walked down the halls, I had to remind myself to keep my head low and not act too friendly. Alyce ignored people while I enjoyed smiling and waving, even to kids who couldn’t remember my name.

So I was startled when I heard someone shout out, “Alyce!”

Turning, I saw a vision of silky black hair, cinnamon skin, and a beautiful smile. “Jessica Bradley?” I murmured, shaking my head.

“Hey, Alyce.” She sounded rushed. “Could you give Amber a message?”

“Oh … sure.”

“Great!” Jessica always sounded like a cheerleader even though she was more involved in student government and community service. “Tell her that there’s a meeting of the Basket Club at lunch today.”

“Don’t you mean the Halsey Hospitality Club?” I said sarcastically.

“Oh, sure. Whatever.”

“And Amber’s the president, so shouldn’t she be the one arranging meetings?”

“She’s been through so much lately, I’m happy to help her out.” Jessica beamed her beauteous smile. “We have so many new members since her accident, and I have this wonderful idea to announce. I know Amber will love it! So FYI her about the meeting, and you should come, too.”

Before I could say something sarcastic about Alyce being Vice President of HHC and the one who made all the gift baskets, the final bell rang and Jessica dashed off. I was running late, too, and I hated to be tardy. It was kind of funny, really, how although my life might soon be over, I was afraid of being late to class.

I turned a corner and spotted Alyce’s homeroom up ahead. Breaking into a run, I arrived at the door and bent over to catch my breath. But when I straightened and reached for the knob, someone else grabbed it first.

“Allow me to open your door,” said a familiar voice, with eloquent politeness.

And I turned to face Eli.

Of course he wasn’t Eli—which broke my heart all over again. Despite wanting to break down and beg for my boyfriend back, I knew that wouldn’t work on Gabe. So I channeled my grief into rage.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“Same as you. Going to school.”

“You don’t belong here.”

“I have my class schedule.” He pointed to a zippered pouch in the blue backpack I recognized as Eli’s. “But I’m not sure where my first class is—can you help me find it?”

He was playing with me, like a spider spinning a sticky web around a trapped fly. And I hated him more than ever.

“Can’t you let me enjoy this one last day before destroying my life?”

He only smiled. “Don’t forget—we have a meeting later.”

“I haven’t forgotten anything.”

“Good. Although I regret upsetting you, I have survived this long by following strict rules. Promises are binding—those I make and those that are made to me. Despite what you may think of me, I have never killed anyone and would sincerely regret having to do so. Enjoy your day at school and say your good-byes. Afterwards, you’re mine.”

Hearing those words from Eli’s lips was torture. I coped by imagining the DD Team lassoing their silver ropes around Gabe and hauling him away so he’d never steal another body—especially someone who meant so much to me.

“When will it happen?” I asked numbly.

“At sunset. We’ll finish what we started last time. Change shouldn’t be feared but embraced.”

His poetic talk, which had once impressed me, now made me want to throw up in my mouth. “I hate change,” I argued.

“You’ll feel differently when you experience the unlimited power I can show you. I’m doing this for you.” He reached for my hand but I drew back. “On the boat, when you saw through my disguise, I knew we were meant to be together. For the first time in over a century, I felt honest feelings.”

“Honest?” I scoffed. “You survive by lying and stealing.”

“But I follow a code of ethics. I never steal money or possessions from my Host Souls. I never borrow the same body twice. And if a body I’m about to borrow successfully resists me, I respect that and go on to someone new. When I give my word to someone, I never break it. You have my word that I will make you happy.”

“Happy? Not when I have to leave everyone I love.”

“I’ll be your friend, family, and lover,” he said seductively.

But I was in no mood to be seduced. I’d rather kick him where it hurt and watch him double over in agony. I hated him! I hated his twisted “ethics.” Yet anger wouldn’t solve anything, so I tried to reason with him.

“I’m sorry you’re lonely,” I said softly. “But you don’t have to live like a fugitive anymore. Grammy can help you find a place to belong.”

“I don’t belong anywhere—except with you.”

“Please … don’t make me go.”

“I’m not forcing you to do anything.”

“But if I don’t come to you, you’ll kill my boyfriend.”

“Tragedies happen.” As he spread his arms in a shrugging gesture, his hands glimmered gray underneath his sprayed-on tan. “Now I need to find Room 46. And tonight, I’ll find you.”

Not a promise—a threat. Shaking all over, I fled into the classroom, stumbling over a backpack left in an aisle and landing in the lap of a skinny kid with a bad case of pimples. The class roared with laughter, but I hardly noticed … I was dying inside.

All my emotions numbed after that, and I only went through the motions. To anyone watching, I was typical, antisocial Alyce, keeping to myself and not saying much. I’d always admired her independence and thought she was smart for doing her own thing. But mostly she was just alone—except for our friendship.

Alyce did surprisingly well in math today, but disappointed her biology teacher. I asked myself over and over why I was bothering being at school when I could enjoy my last hours of freedom with my parents and little sisters. Not that I was giving up. No way! I would meet with Gabe, but I wouldn’t leave my life willingly. I had several hours to come up with a plan. I’d managed to talk briefly with Dustin after homeroom, and I hoped he’d have some ideas when we met for lunch.

We usually hung out in the computer lab, and since Grammy wouldn’t know how to find us, I met her as she left my fourth-period class. I called “Amber!” She hesitated, then turned toward me, the look of relief spreading across her face almost comical. Obviously I wasn’t the only one having a bad day, so I gently took her hand and led her into the computer lab.

“I thought I was wild when I was a teen, but compared to the spitting, swearing, and talking-back to teachers going on here, I was a saint.” She sank down on a hard plastic chair beside me.

“Saints are overrated,” I teased, glad not to dwell on my problems. “I’d rather hear more about your drag racing.”

“Not even going to go there. I am still your grandmother.”

“How long did you smoke? And just how many guys did you date?”

“Now you’re just being rude.” She gave me a disapproving look, then opened the sack lunch I knew Mom had made. Mom took pride in the stay-at-home motherhood thing and put together great lunches, with thick sandwiches, chips, fruit, and homemade cookies for dessert.

“So are you having a tough time at school?” I asked Grammy as I bit into a hoagie sandwich I’d gotten from a vending machine.

“Everything is so high-tech now,” she said, gesturing around the room to some kids challenging a teacher to an online role-playing battle. Not far away a few girls sat together, not talking, just holding cell phone and texting.

“It’s just what it is.” I shrugged.

“Definitely not what I expected.” She sipped her mango-peach juice, then added, “Your mother isn’t what I expected, either. I’ve seen a whole new side to my daughter, and although I don’t always approve of her methods, Theresa is an amazing mother.”

“I could have told you that.”

“And you did—only I wasn’t listening. I wish it wasn’t too late to tell her.”

I hated the finality in her tone. It touched a nerve and anger surged through me. It was never too late for anything important. I wanted to believe in justice and dreams and happy-ever-afters. As long as you kept trying, there was always hope.

Maybe I couldn’t win with Gabe, but I could help Grammy with Mom. A thought struck me, and for the first time that day, I smiled.

When I told Grammy what I had in mind, she gave me a big hug and said it was a great idea. As thanks, she offered me one of Mom’s homemade cookies, and as I took a bite, my heart melted like warmed chocolate. I already missed Mom, Dad, my little sisters, my cat …

If only I could stay.

The door to the computer lab burst open and for a nervous moment I expected to be dragged away by Gabe. But it was just Jessica Bradley, looking exotically gorgeous in an oriental-print dress and silky red jacket, but also angry, with pinched lips and her hands on her hips.

Oops. I’d forgotten her “Basket Club” meeting. I braced myself for attitude about missing the meeting. Only she walked past me, and gave it all to Grammy-As-Me.

Grammy sputtered in confusion, glancing over at me for help, but I just shrugged when Jessica insisted that “Amber” come back with her to the cafeteria. I tried to argue, but Dustin cut in and urged them to go. “Alyce and I have a project to finish,” he added, with a meaningful look for me. I got the hint and played along.

Once Jessica and Grammy were gone, Dustin scooted his chair over. “I checked out that address and number you gave me for Angelica, but the house she lived in was torn down when they put in Gossamer Estates.”

“Jessica’s neighborhood.” I’d been to Jessica’s mansion home a few times and was awed by the beautiful garden and luxurious decor. It was the kind of home I dreamed of living in when I had my big career … if that ever happened.

“So I tried finding Angelica’s relatives … and I’m waiting to hear from a grandson. He could call anytime. He should know which cemetery his grandmother is in, which will tell us where Alyce’s lost sister is buried.”

“Then Alyce and her mother can accept their loss and move on—and I can, too.”

“You are
not
going anywhere.” Dustin wagged his finger at me. “No self-sacrifice allowed. If you won’t ask your grandmother for help, then I’ll take this dark dude down.”

Imagining Dustin—who had techno-geek pasty skin and zero muscle-tone—taking Gabe on, I almost laughed. But I actually came closer to crying. He was so sweet … and after tonight I may never see him again.

“Gabe was here—at school,” I admitted in a low voice, glancing around the computer room anxiously, as if expecting Gabe to materialize from a computer monitor. “I didn’t want to freak you out before, but he was waiting for me by Alyce’s homeroom.”

“Damn!” Dustin balled his hand into a fist. “We’ve got to find a way to beat him.”

“You can’t beat someone who plays with Earthbounders in a game where he’s made all the rules,” I said miserably. “Sure, I can report him to the DDT, but they’re not powerful enough to catch him and Eli could end up dead.”

“We’ll figure out something. I know! I’ll go with you tonight and hide nearby. We can drug him and lock him up until he has to change bodies again.”

“He won’t have to change again for a month. But he could steal your body any time just for kicks. He can’t take Alyce’s body from me, but if he touches me with both hands he can drain my energy until I forget to breathe. There’s no way to stop him.”

“You sound like you’re giving up.”

“I don’t want to … but I’m scared.” Saying these words made it seem more real, as if a toxic breeze had swept into the computer lab and was slowly poisoning me.

“We have fifteen more minutes before lunch ends,” Dustin said, glancing at the large clock on the wall. “Tell me everything you know about Dark Lifers. The more information we have, the better the chance of finding a solution. We’ll come up with a plan and take down that Dark Loser.”

I wanted to believe him and clung to the small rope of hope he was offering. So I did what he asked, telling him everything I knew about Dark Lifers.

A few minutes before the warning bell, his cell phone rang. He snatched it fast, glancing at the text message and then swearing.

“Bad news?” I asked, biting my lower lip.

“Worse. No news at all.” Dustin shook his head. “Angelica’s grandson lost touch with that side of his family after a nasty divorce. He doesn’t know where his grandmother is buried—only that it’s somewhere in California.”

“That tells us a whole lot of nothing. How can we hope to find a grave in a few hours when Alyce has been searching for months with no luck? She hasn’t left us much more than a drawing of an angel with huge wings.”

As I said the word “angel,” a picture sprang into my mind of a crumbling stone angel, and I felt the sting of nettles. Excitedly, I pulled out the purple notebook, flipping to the page with the drawing. The stairs, the unusually large angel wings, and the location … it all added up.

I knew where the lost baby was buried.