“
Okay,
”
I mumbled.
That was another change that had happened.
My house had somehow become a daycare for Mike. Not that I minded, honestly. I liked coming home to a house full of activity.
On the nights I came home to a quiet place, a loneliness I had once been accustomed to, one I had thrived on and was familiar with, I no longer enjoyed. On those nights, I found myself eating the dinners cooked by Anne while I stood at the large kitchen window and stared at the small guest house that called to me. The warmth of the lights filtered out into the stark darkness made me ache to go there to spend time with the two girls who had turned my life upside down. But I wouldn’t let myself. I had nothing to offer them other than what I
’
d already given.
Even knowing I had nothing more to give them, I
’
d find myself making excuses to come home straight after work, hoping that I arrived early enough to talk her into eating dinner with me and then letting me walk her back. Twice, I’d talked her into watching a movie. I also found myself disinterested in going to Shine or calling to order company like I used to do. I hadn
’
t even looked twice at or flirted with other women.
The only woman who seemed to spark any interest was unfortunately the same one that I was hiding away in a small cottage, and it was starting to grate on my nerves.
She hadn’t yet told me whom she was running from, not that I
’
d tried again. The guarded look that fell over her beautiful face whenever she thought no one was looking was enough for me not to push.
I found myself trying to remember the many reasons I shouldn
’
t want her. There were endless reasons: she was younger than me; I was an asshole; she and Zoey needed a positive male in their lives, and I was far from a good man. They needed someone like Nick freaking Riley. But whenever he stopped by, usually with Sabrina or the kids, I always found myself taking him away to talk or asking her to do things that would mean they wouldn
’
t be near one another.
I was far from stupid, but when it came to her, I couldn
’
t help the beast that reared its head: a caveman who didn’t want to share her attention with another male over legal age or without a wedding band on his finger.
What that meant was beyond me.
Anne
I waved goodbye to Sabrina as she drove away from the main house, closing the door behind me. I watched the kids as they headed to the comfortable family room that was filled with oversized and extremely comfortable dark brown couches. I heard the TV being turned on and switched to ESPN, and I smiled, knowing that Chris or Mark, Sabrina
’
s two older sons from a previous marriage, had put on their beloved sports program.
Walking into the kitchen, I smiled at Penny, Sabrina
’
s daughter from her previous marriage, and Nikki, Sabrina and Mike
’
s nine-month-old.
“
Penny, would you like a snack?
”
I offered as I gave Zoey and Nikki some Cheerios in their high chairs.
"No, thank you. Do you need help?" She asked, and now it was my turn to smile at her and Chris, who was walking into the kitchen, placing his backpack on the kitchen table, then giving his baby sister and Zoey a quick cuddle that earned him another smile.
"When I get ready to make dessert, if you still want to help, I would appreciate it."
"Awesome!" She smiled at me, and so did Chris.
"Do you guys have homework?"
"Yeah," they both grumbled. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“
Get to it then, guys.
”
I cooked while the three older kids snacked from a platter of crackers, cheese, and fruit I had set out while they did their homework and the two younger ones babbled and giggled. My mind felt oddly calm. A calm I hadn’t felt in so long. I’d never really known this kind of peace could exist for me after the years I
’
d lived with
him
The last two months of my life had almost been like a dream.
Feeling at peace without a whisper of fear or the urge to look over my shoulder had been a bit difficult to get used to.
Not only that, but there was the handsome, brooding lug of a man—or should I call him sex on a stick with a side of immensely broad shoulders—who had been making my imagination work overtime these past few weeks.
Not that John Davenport noticed me—not like that at least. Even if there were times I felt as if he was looking at me with warmth in his gaze, I knew better. It was just my lust-filled, hopelessly romantic soul that wished for it so much; it just felt so real. I knew better, because any time I felt his gaze on my skin, I
’
d look over at him and realize he was oblivious to me being in his space.
Deep in my thoughts, I served the kids their dinner, setting aside a dish and covering it for Mr. Davenport. The sooner I got used to thinking of him as Mr. Davenport rather than John, the sooner my poor little, diluted, lust-filled brain would stop the senseless daydreaming.
***
Zoey was in her stroller, something that I had bought at a consignment store and had luckily left in my car the night we found ourselves here. We were walking back from having said goodbye to Mike, who had started to load the kids in his top-of-the-line SUV, when I heard Mark
’
s voice calling me.
Turning around, I watched him jog towards me with a baseball bat in hand. Glancing behind him, I noticed that Mike was still helping Chris and Penny with their school bags, while he held his sweet little girl in his arms.
“
Hey, Anne?
”
His young teen face flooded with seriousness much too intense for someone his age.
“
Hey.
”
“
Umm
…”
he frowned, and I tilted my head.
“
Did you forget something?
”
“
Umm..." Mark looked towards the guest house. Frowning, his gaze came back to me, and something about the usually confident, sometimes seemingly aloof teen concerned me. I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked at him.
“
What's up?
”
“
Umm
…”
He took a deep breath and spit out what was on his mind, "I overheard Mike and Mom talking about something. It wasn't on purpose or anything.
”
“
Okay,
”
,I sounded out the word slowly.
“
They were talking about you and Zoey,
”
he shared, and I fought the urge to look towards Mike.
“
Oh.
”
“
Mom
’
s worried about you living in the guest house, all alone. She thinks John
’
s place is creepy since his is the only house on this hill.
”
“
Oh,
”
I once again muttered, not knowing what to say.
“
I know you think I'm a little kid
…”
“
Mark
…”
“
I was thinking about what mom said and she had a point. There
’
s some distance between the main house and the guest house. No real lighting in between. At night, it must get really dark.
”
His observations were spot-on and made me tilt my head and start taking in whatever he needed to say more seriously.
“
So I thought that even if John has a security system, it might just be on the main house and even if it wasn
’
t, this wouldn't hurt to have.
”
He finished talking and handed me the wooden baseball bat he
’
d been holding.
“
Mark
…”
My voice was soft. It
’
d been a long time since someone had worried about me, and now there were handfuls. I looked at him, his short, spiky, light-brown hair and almost green hazel eyes. For being a teenager, he was very sweet to think about someone besides himself. Blinking away the wet from my eyes, I tried to talk, but he beat me to it.
“
Hold your hands together and swing. Try to go for the middle of an attacker or his head. Swing with your entire body,
”
he told me. His young face was serious. Even as young as he was, anyone with eyes could see that Mark Miller was going to be a heartbreakingly handsome man in the future.
“
Mark, I can't take this. You might need
…”
I started to say as I tried to return the bat, but he shook his head. With his hand covering mine, he cleared his throat.
“
We use metal bats. This is an old one I picked up at a yard sale a while ago. Take it,
”
he told me, pushing the bat back towards me.
“
Mark
…”
“
Just take it.
”
His determined gaze made me give in and nod.
“
Thank you,
”
I told him softly, and he surprised me yet again by hugging me. I hugged him back.
“
Bye,
”
he said quickly, then ran back to the waiting SUV. Mike was leaning against it, the other three kids now buckled safely in the car. Mark climbed into the front seat. Mike shut the door, gave me a small wave and a smile, then went to his side of the car.
I watched and waved as they disappeared from my sight into the foliage of the trees and bushes on the hill. I looked at the huge main house and down at my sleeping angel in the stroller, then to the baseball bat in my hand, and took a deep breath. Mark was right. A baseball bat was better than nothing; it sure would have helped the night
HE
had found me. A cold shiver ran down my spine at the thought of
Him
finding me, finding us.
“
I
’
ll always find you, Annie baby
,
”
His
voice played in my head.
That cold shiver at my spine didn’t go away, even when I got to the guest house and hid the baseball bat by the door.
John
Tapping on my desk, staring at God only knows what on my desktop, I couldn’t concentrate. My mind kept drifting to the beautiful woman who kept doing little things around my house that made it feel like a home.
Something I realized I’d never really had in my forty-three years of breathing.
Arriving late from work, I was disappointed to know they had left for the night. I had thought about talking Anne into watching TV or a movie with me again, since we were both off the next day. I growled and ran my fingers through my hair. I took a deep breath and could smell the faint scent of the vanilla perfume she wore. As soon as I noted it in the air, it vanished, making me miss it. I wanted it. Needed it.
This shit wasn
’
t working for me.
Never in my life had I been hung up on a woman. Standing and heading down the stairs, I stared at the front door, tempted to head over to her. Shaking my head at my ridiculousness, I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get a bottle of wine. Grabbing a glass, I served myself as I tried to avoid the huge window over the sink that faced right out to the tiny guest house, but I failed like I had every single time I’d tried to avoid it these last two months.
I finished my drink and even though it was dark, I couldn’t see the warmth from the lights turned on inside, which piqued my attention.
Fuck it.
Setting down my glass on the counter, then straightening my wrinkled navy-blue dress shirt, I headed out the house without a second thought.
I will just stop to say hi
. People did that. I just wanted to check on them, make sure they were alright. Reaching her door, my hand about to knock, panic set in me.
What am I doing?
Making any excuse I could to come see her. It was late. They were probably asleep. Opening my fist, I ran the pads of my fingers over the cool wood of the door. Something I wanted was behind that door and I couldn
’
t get myself to knock. Nothing had changed. I couldn
’
t give them more. Could I? Feeling out of control in a way that I wasn
’
t used to, I made myself put my hand down and take a step back.
Staring at the house in front of me, I asked myself,
Why? How can something so small, so modest, contain everything I want?
Shit! They were everything I wanted. Was this what Mike had felt like when he
’
d started his relationship with Sabrina?
Closing my eyes, I saw the past I hid from: mossy green eyes, wispy blond hair, and the brightest smile I had seen staring back at me. I shook my head and opened my eyes. The pain was still there, just no longer as raw. I stumbled three steps back, away from the front door.
I heard movement in the house and looked around me, the darkness suddenly overwhelming me.
“
John?
”
I turned back. Bright, warm light filtered through behind her. In the darkness, I was only able to make out the silhouette of her body.
Sunshine!
I shook my head and tried to control my stupid thoughts.
“
Hey.
”
“
Is everything alright?
”
She asked, walking towards me, and I noticed she was wearing an ugly looking cardigan, something an old lady would wear, wrapping it tightly around her body. My eyes roamed lower, and I swallowed hard at the sight of her bare legs. Shit. That was not a sight I needed to have engraved in my mind. Her bare thighs gleamed deliciously in the moonlight.
“
Yeah, I just
…
I…
” I
stuttered,
trying to figure out what excuse I could use,
“
I wanted to check in, see if everything went okay with Mike
’
s kids. It wasn
’
t too much of a bother, was it? Because if it was, I can ask him to
…”