Dare to Surrender (6 page)

I thrust my fingers into my tangled hair. “I’m sorry if you thought—”

“You have no idea what I was thinking.” He gestured inside his apartment with a flick of his wrist.

Even as a part of me rebelled at his command, I strode past him, head high, acknowledging the part of me that was pleased he’d been concerned. When was the last time anyone had thought about my welfare?

He slammed the door shut behind him before turning back to face me. “Do you want to know what went through my mind?”

I swallowed hard. “Of course.”

“Let’s see. First, I thought Daltry had come by. I wondered if you’d changed your mind and left with him,” Gabe bit out.

Oh, Gabe. “I wouldn’t just pick up and leave after you’ve been so kind.”

“I thought we’d gone over this. I’m not kind,” he said in a tone meant to convince me.

He failed.

“Well, to me you are.” And suddenly it didn’t matter what he’d done to Naomi;
I
was different. He treated me better. Or was I deluding myself as I’d done with Lance? My stomach tumbled at the thought. “Do you want to know where I’ve been?” I asked.

“Go on.”

I breathed out, elaborating on my day. “First I went to the public library so I could look through job listings and newspapers. I made lists and planned calls for Monday. Then I spent the day in the park. Reading. And thinking.”

“By any chance, did that thinking include whether or not you should stay with me?”

I nodded.

He reached out and nabbed my hand, linking his big fingers through mine, tightening incrementally. His closeness eased some of the lingering tension, and my shoulders lowered as I allowed myself to relax beneath his touch. With a tug, he pulled me closer, invading my personal space, nuzzling his chin in my hair.

I closed my eyes and sighed, and when I breathed in, the expensive cologne I’d come to associate with him wrapped around me and lit me up from the inside out, like a firecracker with an ever-shortening fuse. I squeezed my thighs together to alleviate the ache that both excited and unnerved me at the same time.

“Don’t leave.” He turned me to face him.

My heart sped up in my chest. I should want to run, not wrap myself around him and never let go.

“I need you to say it.” His grip on me tightened.

With his jaw clenched and his eyes imploring, I answered from the heart. “I won’t.” I tried not to panic at the commitment that statement implied and reassured myself that I’d find a job and make this new situation work. Whatever it meant for
us
, that would have to play itself out.

When stark relief etched his handsome face, I knew I’d pleased him, and a corresponding sense of peace settled inside of me, making me wonder—what
was
this unspoken thing between us? I didn’t understand it.

I wanted more even as I fought against the sensations because they threatened me—more accurately, they threatened the sense of independence I’d told myself I needed.

Gabe slid his hand through my hair, tugging until I responded with a whimper. Okay, I clearly liked that dominating side of him. It was something I’d never experienced before but obviously responded to. Something else to think about later, I thought. Another facet of myself to explore when the opportunity arose.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he informed me. “And this has nothing to do with gratitude,” he muttered and sealed his mouth over mine.

Holding me firmly, he slid his tongue over my lips once, twice, demanding entry. As if I’d deny him. Just the touch of his tongue set off fireworks inside me, and I responded to everything about the man. Everything he took, I wanted to give. Everything he provided, I craved more of. He must have understood because his tongue tangled with mine, tasting the far reaches of my mouth, sucking, pulling, learning every part of me, while I turned to liquid at each slip and glide, every thrust and parry.

This
was being kissed. It was being told that I mattered. Even the way he sank his hand into my hair and held on let me know that, as much as he was dominating me, he
yearned
for me too. He needed the connection between us as badly as I did. The intensity was furious, fast and sudden, but I needed it, and somehow he sensed as much. My nipples puckered tight, beading until they were begging for Gabe’s touch. His kiss held a direct line to my sex. But physical responses aside, the emotional yielding inside me explained so much more, screaming for me to believe that I could trust this man. A virtual stranger in so many ways, yet my body knew him already. Why else would worry flee from my mind, a foggy, blessed euphoria taking its place?

He broke the kiss but didn’t release me, instead dragged his lips over my jaw and down to where my shoulder met my neck and slid his tongue over my skin. I trembled as he found an erogenous zone I hadn’t realized I possessed. Cream coated my panties. Though I should be embarrassed at my easy acquiescence, it felt too good, desire melding into a whirlpool of burning need. A hard nip of my skin startled me into awareness, the sting of pain taking me by surprise, and I yelped out loud. Before I could struggle against him, a shock of ecstasy pulled me back into the vortex, reaching downward to my full, damp pussy.

Shaking, I crawled closer, finding his rock-hard erection behind a denim barrier, awaiting me. I needed him so badly. Could come so easily. I trembled and moaned. “Oh God.”

“No, Iz. Just me.” His breath was hot in my ear, and even his deep chuckle sent shooting sparks of awareness through me. “I want to fuck you right now. I want to slide into you when I’m completely bare. Feel your hot walls pulse around me until I come inside you and you feel everything I can give you.”

Holy mother. Knees knocking, body shaking, only Gabe’s hold on the back of my neck and the way he braced an arm around my waist kept me standing.

“Is that what you want, kitten?”

I moaned my assent. “Yes. Yes, take me now.”

A masculine groan shuddered through him. “My bedroom,” he muttered, his grip tightening.

That one word cleared my head enough for me to remember the other room in the house, the one with the rumpled sheets, the scent of sex, and the condoms in the trash that had sent me running.

“No. I can’t.”

Gabe lifted his head and stared into my eyes, disbelief flashing in the smoldering depths. He didn’t ask for an explanation, but I heard the silent demand anyway.

“Not like this.” I repeated his reason for not kissing me earlier, although his explanation for stopping was very different from mine now.

Again, he waited, as if he were entitled to an explanation but wouldn’t demean himself to ask.

I swallowed over the lump lodged in the back of my throat. “I heard your housekeeper cancel on the answering machine and thought I could help you out by cleaning since she couldn’t. She promised you she’d take care of the other room,” I said in a rush. “The one with the closed door. So I … went in and saw … everything.”

His eyes darkened in anger.

Because I’d crossed that threshold where I didn’t belong? Lance’s triggers had been far less. “I wasn’t snooping. I was trying to help.”

“Fuck.” He looked away.

His reaction hurt, and I braced myself for the lecture to come.

Without warning, his grip on me eased. I looked up to find him staring down at me, his gaze unexpectedly soft. “Don’t ever be afraid of me, Isabelle. I’m not him.” His calming voice soothed me.

I nodded and realized I was shaking, that fear had indeed taken me over. “Yelling was Lance’s preferred form of communication. That or complete disdain followed by deafening silence.” Which had left me feeling as bereft and as alone as I’d been as a child.

“Anything more?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“No,” I assured him. “Lance knew how to wound without touching.”

A muscle worked in his jaw. “My anger wasn’t at you.” He soothed me with caring strokes of his fingers over my throat and neck. “It was at myself. That there was anything in that room for you to find.”

I shook my head. “I didn’t exist to you then. But I’m coming off a long-term, bad relationship. So bad it would be a mistake to just jump into something now. We don’t really know each other.” I blushed, knowing how immature and naive I must sound, and yet I meant every word.

I might be moving in, allowing myself to rely on him based on an innate feeling of trust I had never felt for anyone before, not even Lance at his most gracious and charming. But sleeping with him was something else entirely.

He brushed my hair off my cheek, his touch warming me where I’d been cold. “I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

“But Naomi—”

“I didn’t cheat on her either.”

“No, you broke it off as if it meant nothing. As if she meant nothing.” My teeth bit into my bottom lip. “And if you could do that to her, you could do it to me just as easily.” When he got bored. Or realized I wasn’t as interesting as he apparently found me now.

He ran a hand over his eyes. “If I tell you it’s because she did mean nothing, you’ll think I’m a cold bastard, but it’s the truth.” He shoved his hand into his pockets.

It didn’t help, but at least he’d been honest. “Okay.”

“No, not okay. But you have to understand something else.” He tucked his hand beneath my chin, raising my eyes to his. “She’s not you. Nobody’s been you.”

At his heartfelt words, my heart slammed against my chest. I didn’t know what to say or how to feel. I only knew I liked the emotions he evoked in me way too much.

“Just know I wouldn’t deliberately hurt you. And I’m. Not. Him.”

I managed a nod. “That much I know.” I did.

“So we’re good?” he asked.

“Yes.” But there was something else I needed to say, and it wouldn’t come easily.

He narrowed his gaze. “I can tell there’s a but. Just say it.”

I managed a nod, swiping my tongue over my dry lips and reaching deep for courage. “Nobody’s been there for me the way you have, and you barely know me, no matter what crazy attraction exists between us.”

“I know you, Iz.”

A shudder rippled through me. I forced myself to continue. “And today, I took off because I didn’t like the way that room made me feel. I needed air, and I didn’t realize I was locked out until the door shut behind me. But I didn’t stay away to teach you a lesson or act like a jealous brat. It never dawned on me that you’d be worried.” I blinked and glanced away. “My parents never were. Lance never was. Your caring and protectiveness, it’s new to me.”

Understanding and something more turned his expression warm and soft. “It’s new to me too,” he admitted. “You’re my kitten,” he said, his voice gruff.

Unsure of how to interpret that, I tilted my head, looking up at him.

A knowing smile lifted his mouth into a disarming, sexy grin. “You’re brave one minute, skittish the next. You need to be gentled, to learn that the hand that’s stroking you can be trusted.”

As he spoke, his thumb glided over my neck, pausing at my rapidly beating pulse. “I can’t change what or who came before you, but I can tell you that you’re different. For me, to me. I don’t understand why, I just
know
. And if you give me the chance, I’ll prove it.” He continued to glide his thumb back and forth against my skin, gentling me, as he’d said.

My eyes fluttered closed. “I’ve never had anyone in my life I could truly trust.” The people I was supposed to trust betrayed me, and the one I’d chosen had done the same.

“Well, now you do.” His hand traveled upward, until he brushed my jaw, then my lips, with his thumb.

Darned if I didn’t fall right back into that soft, easy spot he’d taken me to before. Feeling brave, I licked, then nipped at his finger.

He groaned and smoothed my own moisture over my lips. “Give me a chance,” he said in a gruff voice that made me tingle.

My stomach chose that moment to emit an unattractive growl. I just knew my cheeks turned red.

Gabe merely chuckled. “My kitten needs food.”

I forced my heavy eyelids open, embarrassed at the sound. “I haven’t eaten since a hotdog I bought for lunch.”

His frown told me what he thought of that. “Come. I’ll feed you.”

Which brought up my other concern that was equally if not more dangerous to my peace of mind. He wanted to feed me, he’d said. I could feed myself, by why argue? He spoke how he spoke, and I responded to it. But I couldn’t help wondering just how I could reinvent myself if I jumped right into another man’s home, not to mention his bed.

Although Gabe didn’t seem like just any other man. He already felt important to me, something I didn’t, couldn’t comprehend. So maybe the key lay in getting to know him better and, as a result, learning more about myself and why I responded to him so strongly.

But I wondered how long I could hold out against his seductive charm.

Chapter Six

Gabe: Staking a Claim

G
abe couldn’t explain the primitive need to take care of Isabelle, to convince her that here, she could heal and find everything else she needed in life. With him. It wasn’t taking in a stray, as his brother had accused, it was caring for a woman he was completely drawn to and always had been. One he sensed would upend everything he’d told himself he wanted out of life post-Krissie, his deceased wife. Although he’d told himself he would never open himself up again, being given a chance with Isabelle made him change his mind. Now he had to change hers.