Dare to Bear (Book 1 Trail Guardians Series) (10 page)

He licked his lips. “We all have our opinions.”

She released her pack with a groan of relief. When Mason didn’t budge, she crossed her arms. “I take baths alone.”

His chest rose and fell on a sigh. “That’s a shame.” Wicked temptation smoldered in his eyes. “I could help you with the hard-to-reach places.”

She shook her head. “I have a bar of biodegradable, nature-friendly soap I bought from your store. I’m all set.”

“Damn,” he said, looking painfully disappointed, like she’d shown him a trove of Christmas presents under the tree but forbid him from unwrapping them.

The reaction made her smile inwardly. “Okay, bye. See you down river in twenty minutes.”

He appeared crestfallen. “I can’t convince you to let me stay?”

She mouthed the word no.

“Even if I promise not to touch?”

The man had a gift for making her feel desirable. She gave him props for that. However, she pretended to check an invisible watch on her wrist. “You haven’t left. I’m waiting.”

“Why can’t I appreciate your body?”

If only she could shut down the sun, and engulf the surroundings in darkness. Even then she might not say yes…but what if she could?

Kyle had insisted the lights go out before she emerged from the bathroom after a shower, so they could make love. Mason asked for zero requirements. Just her, naked and daring.

The problem was, she was entirely afraid to show her body in broad daylight to a man who might judge her. “Sorry. You need to go away.”

“I’m sorry, too.” He sent her a yearning glance, which she found utterly sexy. “Fine. I’ll go,” he said, sounding none too happy about it.

She wiggled her fingers at him in farewell. He kicked a stone and walked away down the riverbank.

Several minutes passed before he disappeared from view. Then she began undressing. The ties of her boots were knotted and caked with crud. Pretty much like the rest of her, she figured, eager to wash the grit and grime away.

Okay, she had showered and shampooed just yesterday morning at Mason’s lodge, an option many AT hikers didn’t have or didn’t bother with. But she ranked cleanliness up there with Godliness. She kept herself, her wardrobe, and her home immaculate.

After coming to terms with her new shape, it had taken her a month to find a shop in California that catered to plus-sized girls. When she had, she’d stocked up on sharp, professional attire to fit her curvy body and taste in fashion. She’d refused to dress like a slob, hide her form, or act like she didn’t care, no matter what her size.

Minus those luxuries, right now, her hair required the most attention. Sadly, she had no access to a straightening iron, but she wanted to keep her mass of long red curls shiny and clean if not tamed.

She’d removed all her trappings of civilization when she reached for her left ring finger to take off her engagement ring. Then she remembered it wasn’t there.

A swell of emotion gripped her chest. Leftover anger clogged her throat and welled in her eyes.

The surge of feelings surprised her. Still? Seriously?

That part of her life, the part where she doubted herself every second, needed to go away, for good.

Waist-high in the water, she dunked her hair. She used the sliver of nature-friendly soap to lather her hair. A better option than the Pert 2-in-1 she’d brought with her. She had no desire to pollute her surroundings.

The more she slathered the suds through her hair, the more irritated she became with herself. Damn, she thought, Kyle had chosen everything. He’d picked out her wedding dress—after he’d put her through hell trying on dresses she’d felt uncomfortable in, and he’d made her feel like a whale while trying them on. He’d picked out their wedding cake. He’d picked out their wedding location. For God’s sake, he’d even chosen their honeymoon destination. Didn’t he imagine she’d want to go backpacking someplace sexy, like Paris? Or even—gasp!—stay in a luxury hotel in an exotic location?

No, he’d chosen the Appalachian Trail.

As she lowered her head back, swishing her hair in the river water, she looked up at the resilient blue sky.

How could I have been such a doormat?

Annoyed, she gave a curt sigh. Then she glanced up into the beady eyes of a bear.

Every fine hair stood up on her neck.

Come on. Another bear?

She didn’t squeal. She didn’t scream. Only called out in a trembling voice, “Mason. I need you.”

Apparently, he didn’t hear. The bear above her stared at her with astute attention.

Drawing from her very basic bear knowledge, she knew they had no fear of water. They’d swim up and downstream for salmon or fish, no matter what stood in their way.

“Don’t eat me,” she exclaimed. “Please.”

The bear’s ears perked, and it cocked its head to the side. As if he’d heard her?

“You’re not interested in me,” she insisted, swimming in the opposite direction of the bear. “I’m not important. I probably don’t even taste good.”

She darted a glance at her clothes, opposite her on the rocky shore of the basin. At least, she thought weakly, the bear wouldn’t shred the insurance card with her full name, address and personal information in it.

A flicker of dread reached into the deepest recesses of her, followed by bleak recognition. Who would Mason call on her behalf, if he found her body floating in the river?

The lightning flash of self-realization struck her. She’d clung to her relationship with Kyle because she hadn’t wanted to be alone. Even when she’d seen the signs of him pulling away, she’d ignored them.

Sure, she’d kept in touch with the Hendricks, but after she left for college with several scholarships to the University of California, the Hendricks technically were no longer her family. What she feared most in this world was ending up, and dying, alone.

Hot tears leaked from her eyes, streamed down her face, and quivered on the tip of her chin.

She had no one.

No one knew where she wanted her gravestone to be, or what she wanted it to say. No one would set flowers there at memorable occasions or holidays. Ashley might, until she became wrapped up in her own future and family. Stephanie admitted she might be missed, but she wouldn’t be mourned.

Tremendous sadness seeped from her heart. She didn’t want things to end here. She wanted the opportunity to love, really fall in love, and be loved.

An overwhelming sob nearly choked her.

High above, the great bear stepped closer to the ledge and cocked its head to the other side.

Digging her toes into the mud, she swam until she hit solid stones beneath the water. Her terror forced her to cling to a steep ledge of stone.“Just leave me alone. Go away.”

Without a sound, the bear lowered its head as though humbled. It gave her a long stare, like it had understood her words.
Go away.

Then it pivoted and loped off into the woods. She clung to the rocks and sent a glance heavenward. “Thank you.”

Relief washed over her. Her spirits lifted. Maybe creatures in the wilderness had a more conscious awareness of emotion than she had ever considered.

Regardless, for another ten minutes she stayed glued to the rocks. Then, when she believed enough time had passed, she returned to the stream and swam forward, treading water, worried the beast might come back.

It didn’t.

She had no idea if bears understood human terror, but she didn’t discount that the creature had sensed her fear and left her to her own devices.

If only her ex-fiancé had exhibited the same respect. Without the leaving part.

As she swam toward a bear-free shore, she tried to shed her anger in the wake of her movements. By the time she left the water, her fingers and toes were pruned. She air-dried her body and slid on her clothes. Hiking boots and socks in hand, she carefully picked her way barefoot along the rocks, downstream, toward Mason.

She felt like nature had reminded her how to appreciate her life in ways she hadn’t been, and she looked forward to sharing that with him. Because, amazingly enough, she knew he would care.

7

Head hanging low, Mason approached a spot downstream where he’d told Steph he’d wait for her. He felt like pond scum.

At the sight of him in bear form, she’d burst into tears. Each tear that fell from her eyes had tortured him. The terror frozen on her face had shamed him.

All he’d wanted was to catch a glimpse of her naked. To feed his senses by soaking in the beautiful sight of her nude form. Instead, he’d terrorized her into a meltdown.

Way to go, jackass.
His bear had no remorse, but he had plenty to last him a good long time.

The fear he’d caused her bothered him greatly. Despite knowing he was nearby, she’d felt alone and unprotected. As her destined mate, he’d done a lousy job of making her feel safe. An alpha werebear’s highest purpose was as a protector. He’d trained for decades to achieve Master Guardian status. Yet his own mate lacked faith in his ability to safeguard her.

At the first scent of a threat, he would’ve come to her side instantly. Then again, as a non-shifter, she didn’t know the ways of kind, the oath he’d taken, the promise he’d made long before they’d met. Every male werebear vowed in young adulthood to treasure and protect their mates above all else.

Obviously that unwritten rule didn’t apply to human men. Stephanie had her own negative experiences to prove it. She also had yet to understand the lengths he would go to, to make her safe. Because of that, he needed to take further steps to prove his unconditional loyalty to her. To overcome her past and show her the way to a future where she’d never worry about being left behind or alone.

If he hadn’t been obsessed with the selfish pursuit of seeing her voluptuous body and creamy skin, he might have been closer to his goal of winning her trust. And her heart.

To make up for his failure in some small way, he strode into the fast-moving stream and caught three fish in his big bear teeth, tossing them ashore. Then he shifted into human form, dressed. After filleting the fish with a knife, he stared a fire. At least he could provide for her in that aspect, even though he wanted to give her so much more.

Strong and steady was his motto for most things in life. Now the Ancestors were putting that to the ultimate test.

The fish were half-cooked when he heard splashing sounds. He looked up and saw Steph’s quick pace toward him. He sent her a reassuring smile, hoping to lessen her recent scary encounter. “Hi, beautiful.”

When she raced up and threw herself into his arms, shock almost made him lose his footing. He grabbed her tight and held her close, grateful for her unexpected show of affection. She felt good, right, in his arms. Perfect. She smelled clean and heavenly, with hints of honey and lavender. He never wanted to let her go.

“What’s this about?” he asked, then realized it didn’t matter as long as she let him hold her.

She pulled away slightly to gaze up at him. “You are a wonderful man,” she said, her eyes glowing an ethereal blue. “I’m so glad you came on this hike with me. I’m sorry if I haven’t shown you my appreciation before now.”

Surprised, he shrugged. “You’re welcome.”

She sniffed the air. “Are you cooking something?”

“A fresh catch. Figured we could use the good protein for the miles ahead of us.”

“It smells amazing.” Her eyes rolled back and she pretended to faint with joy. “I haven’t eaten a meal like this in days. I can’t wait.”

The glee on her face made his breath catch. She looked relaxed and stunningly gorgeous. Maybe she did trust him to protect and care for her. Hunger swelled in the pit of his stomach that had nothing to do with food. “I hope you like it.”

“Are you kidding? Compared to beef jerky and trail mix, this is a five-star entree. I’ll love it.”

Though he didn’t want to ruin the moment, he needed to address whatever fears and torment had brought her to tears in the river pool. “Did you call out my name while you were bathing? I wasn’t sure if I should’ve violated your privacy or not.” The lie burned in his throat. He knew, and he regretted his intrusion in bear form. “Was everything okay?”

She sighed and lowered her gaze to the fire. “For a minute, I thought I wasn’t alone.”

“Why?”

“I believed I saw something scary in the woods.” She swallowed. “Turned out, I was more afraid of myself than I am of the wild.”

Amazed, he raised his eyebrows. “How’s that?”

Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I’d been living a lie, totally miserable but not wanting to admit it. I knew my engagement was falling apart with Kyle, and I ignored the signs. I was too afraid of being alone.”

He slid his hand up her arm and squeezed her shoulder. “A reasonable reaction to losing a dream.”

“Even though we had common interests when we met, and traveled a lot together, I always felt alone in that relationship. Because I never let him in, not entirely. Not the way you should be open and honest with the person you want to spend your life with.”

Mason felt like he’d swallowed broken glass. Was he not doing the same thing, keeping the truth of his nature from his destined mate? But this conversation wasn’t about him, so he vowed to come clean with her later tonight. “Go on.”