Dangerously Hot (A Hostile Operations Team Novel)(#4) (13 page)

Soulless, conscienceless bastard.

The guys filed toward the door. Billy called out, “We’re going over to Buddy’s for a few beers. You two want to come?”

Kev opened his mouth to say no, but Lucky turned with a smile on her face—she didn’t smile like that at him, dammit—and said, “Thanks, that would be great.”

He waited until everyone else was gone before he spoke. “You need to rest, Lucky. Once we go in, it’ll be nonstop.”

Her pretty eyes were solemn. “I know that. But I think we deserve a night out for once, don’t you? Maybe we can forget, for a little while, what’s about to happen.”

He knew from experience that wasn’t possible but he nodded anyway. “All right, if that’s what you want.”

They drove to Buddy’s in silence. When they arrived, Billy waved them over to a round table tucked into one corner of the bar. It was a dive in some ways, but Buddy always welcomed the guys warmly and the food was good. Around the table, the guys laughed and joked as if there wasn’t a critical mission coming up. Lucky sat down next to Ryan Gordon, who turned his killer smile—part of the reason his team name was Flash rather than just the obvious Flash Gordon reference—on her while Kev tugged out the only remaining chair across the table and tried not to scowl as Flash leaned in and said something that made Lucky tilt her head back and laugh.

Billy shoved a beer at Kev and gave him a sympathetic look that made Kev frown all the harder. He didn’t like that knowing look at all.
 

Garrett Spencer got up and ambled over to the jukebox while a waitress hustled over with more beers and some extra menus. Kev studied his menu intently, which was ridiculous considering he knew everything Buddy’s had, and tried not to lift his gaze over the top of it to look at Lucky sitting there with Flash, laughing at every third thing he said and tossing her mane of hair playfully over her shoulder.

“Maybe Flash should play her husband,” Billy said
sotto voce
, and Kev stiffened. “They look a lot more natural together than you two.”

Kev turned a page in the menu. He didn’t see what was written on it anymore. “Fine by me.”

Billy snorted. “No, it’s not.”

“Mind your own business, Kid.”

Billy lifted a bottle of Sam Adams to his lips. “I am minding my business. I know what Marco meant to you, and I know you care about Lucky too. And if you can’t do this job without emotional attachment, you put us all at risk. Let someone else play the part, dude.”

Kev resisted the urge to punch something. “I already tried. She trusts me—and I’m sticking with her because I promised Marco.”

Billy let out a breath. “Copy that. Just be careful, okay?”
 

Kev nodded as Billy took another pull from the beer. He knew his teammate cared, but there was no easy way through this job when Lucky twisted him up on the inside the way she did.

Iceman must have made a selection because the jukebox rattled to life and the strains of a dance tune filled the air. It wasn’t too fast, but it wasn’t slow either.

Flash stood up then, and Lucky stood with him. Kev started to stand too, but Billy gave him a look that made him sink back down as the pair of them walked over to the area that had been cleared off to make a dance floor. Kev sat stiffly, waiting for Flash to take her into his arms and praying he wouldn’t—because Kev would probably bolt off this chair and rip her out of them.

But nothing of the sort happened as Flash and Lucky lined up and began moving in sync. Kev realized then that it was a stupid line dance and he let out a long breath. Iceman joined them while Knight Rider stood and went over to the door as his professor fiancée walked inside and launched herself into his arms.

Sam wrapped his arms beneath her ass and lifted her up while she put her legs around him and kissed him like no one else was in the room.

“Damn, those two could ignite a rocket,” Billy said softly.

No kidding there. Sam set Dr. Georgeanne Hayes down and they walked over to the table, wedged tightly together as if they couldn’t bear to be parted. He pulled a chair over for her, but she plopped down on his lap instead and wrapped one arm around his neck. He certainly didn’t seem to mind.

“How are y’all doing today?” she said in her Texas drawl, plucking Sam’s beer off the table and taking a drink.

“Great, ma’am,” Billy said. “How about you?”

Georgie laughed. “Fabulous now that I’m here with my man.”

The waitress came back to the table, and Kev ordered a burger. The other guys had already ordered and the waitress said she’d come back for Lucky’s order when she was done on the floor. Kev took a long draught of the beer she’d set in front of him and tried not to scowl as Lucky laughed and kicked up her heels with abandon.

He hadn’t seen her that relaxed in… well, he couldn’t remember.
 

It wouldn’t last, though. Tonight, they could all pretend nothing was wrong, that life was normal, but tomorrow they’d be back to work, worrying about the mission and how they were going to find—and extract—Al Ahmad. Kev wished like hell they were killing the bastard, but the order from the top was to capture.

It wasn’t going to be easy, nor was it going to be like other missions since they were taking Lucky along for the ride.

The song finished and Lucky came back to the table with Flash behind her. He pushed her seat in for her and then looked up at Kev. Whatever he saw on Kev’s face wiped the smile from his own, and he sat down and grabbed his beer. He made sure not to sit too close to Lucky after that, and Kev felt like an asshole.

He wasn’t supposed to be possessive of her. He was just supposed to protect her. And it was in her best interests to be at ease with the guys. If she could manage it, he had no right to interfere in any way. If Flash flirted, it was her call if she let him. Not Kev’s.

Jesus
.

Billy slapped him on the shoulder in sympathy. If it was obvious to Billy how much he was struggling watching Lucky with another man, was it obvious to the others? And what did they think about him, knowing that she’d been Marco’s wife?

But no one said anything or shot him any looks, and they subsided into conversation and laughter for the next couple of hours. They scarfed burgers, wings, and assorted fried junk, and knocked back a few beers. The talk around the table covered many topics, though not the one foremost on anyone’s mind: Qu’rim. Instead, they steered clear of that subject until finally Georgie Hayes—who’d ended up in a corner with Lucky, talking about whatever women talked about—caught Sam’s eye and the two of them rose as one and said their good-byes.

After that, the gathering grew subdued as everyone eyed cell phones and watches. One by one, they started to sort out their bills and head for the door. Kev opened the truck door for Lucky, and she climbed inside and put on her seatbelt while he went around and got in the other side. The air was colder than it had been as a front came in from the west and sent temperatures spiraling downward. There was even talk of a white Christmas for a change.

“That was fun,” Lucky said as they pulled out of the parking lot. “Thanks for taking me.”

“I didn’t think I had a choice.”

She sighed. “Well, thanks anyway.” She paused for a moment. “I like Georgie and Sam. They’re so perfect together. It was strange at first, seeing him and knowing he was Marco’s replacement. But now I just think of him as one of the guys.”

“It was for me, too. But that’s the way the military works. I told myself for a long time that it was the same as if Marco had taken another assignment and moved away.”

Her voice grew subdued. “I thought I saw him in Hawaii sometimes. There are so many military guys there, and I’d be somewhere, and there’d be a guy in ACUs who looked so familiar. But he’d turn and I’d realize it wasn’t Marco at all.”

Kev swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I get that. I’m sorry it happened though. I can only imagine how hard that was for you.”

He glanced over at her. Her head was bowed, and she was fiddling with her cell phone. Then she pocketed it and sighed.
 

“I miss him, but my life isn’t over.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. “No, I know.”

“Do you?” She tapped her fingers on the armrest and stared straight ahead. “The closer we get to going on this mission, the more I worry about the things I never did. What if I never get to do them at all?”

A chill slipped down his spine. “That’s the beer talking.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think it is. I think it’s a real concern. These next few days could be all I have left.”

Kev gripped the wheel tight.
Dammit.
“I told you I won’t let him get you. You’re coming back. We’re all coming back.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

Kev whipped the truck into a fast-food parking lot and shoved the gearshift into park before turning to look at her, fury rolling through him. He didn’t want to hear her talk that way. He didn’t want to hear the fatalistic tone in her voice. It wasn’t right.

He’d lost Marco out there. He wasn’t about to lose Lucky, and he wouldn’t have her talking as if fate had already decided it for her. Her eyes were wide as she stared at him.
 

“Attitude is everything out there,” he grated. “You can’t go in with the idea this is the end. You have to be comfortable with yourself, sure, but it doesn’t do any good to think this is where you will die. If you think like that, you put us all in danger.”

“All right.” Her voice was soft. Her eyes slipped over his face, and her throat worked. He had a sudden urge to haul her into his arms. He resisted, but barely.

“Just stop thinking it’s over, okay?”

She nodded. “But there are still things I never did. Things I wanted to do. It’s not fatalistic to wish I’d had the courage to do them.”

He shoved a hand through his hair and growled. “What is it you want to do so bad? You have a few days yet if it’s important to you.”

The air in the truck grew thick with silence. And then she reached out with trembling fingers and touched his mouth. Her fingers were light, soft, ghosting over his lips so carefully. His blood beat hard in his veins, and his chest grew tight. She was going to drive him insane before this was over.

“I want to be with you.”
 

CHAPTER TWELVE

Kev’s eyes grew wild, hunted, and Lucky’s heart hammered. She was feeling braver than she’d thought possible. Was it the beer talking? Maybe it was, though she’d only had two and she didn’t feel tipsy.
 

Or maybe it wasn’t the beer at all, but the gravity of this mission. She’d watched Georgie Hayes with Sam, and she’d envied them. They were so clearly in love, so clearly hot for each other. She didn’t know what that felt like, not really, but she wanted it.

She’d told Kev she wanted him, and saying the words was a relief. She hadn’t been brave enough to tell him before—before Al Ahmad, before her capture and rescue, before that first kiss. Before she’d married Marco.

If she had, what would have happened? Maybe they’d have had sex, and maybe she’d have still married Marco. Or maybe she wouldn’t because she would have known she was the wrong woman for him. Maybe Marco would have figured it out sooner if she’d been honest with herself about her feelings for Kev.

No matter what Kev said, she had to be honest with herself now. This mission might go sour. She might not return. It was reality, nothing more.

And reality demanded she not deny her feelings right now. For the first time in forever, she wanted a man. She wasn’t afraid of Kev touching her. She knew instinctively that he was the only one who could.

“Lucky… Jesus.”

“No one has to know.”

“I’ll know.” He put his head on the steering wheel. She could hear him breathing. And then he sat up and shoved the truck into gear. She turned and laid her forehead against the cool window, embarrassment and fury twining together in her belly as he drove in silence toward home. Why had she said anything? Why had she put herself out there like that?

They reached his townhouse and walked toward the door. She stood behind him while he shoved the key in the lock and twisted. And then they were inside the hall, and she shut the door behind her, feeling awkward and embarrassed and wondering what to say before she excused herself and went to her lonely bed.

But Kev turned to her in the dimly lit hallway, his eyes ablaze with anger.

“Why me? Why not Flash or Iceman—or, hell, anyone else?”

Lucky’s heart twisted. “I don’t know. I just know you’re the only one who can touch me. The only one who won’t make me shudder in horror or feel sick.”

His throat moved. “Marco never said… he said you had difficulties with intimacy.”

She’d already figured out that Marco had told Kev about her issues with being touched. Yet it was still embarrassing. And maybe it was a relief too, because what if he’d taken her up on her offer and then she freaked out?

“It was too soon after…” She dropped her gaze from his. “He tried. I tried. It worked, but not the way it should have.”

There’d been no fire between them, but she’d felt safe enough with Marco.