Dangerous Authority (3 page)

For one thing, Zander hadn't made it to work until after ten a.m.  She would be amazed if he was still employed by the end of the day.  For another, she wasn't looking forward to seeing Dominique Flame.

She wished he hadn't spoken to her the day before.  Wish he'd never broken the radio silence.  He'd already been heavy on her mind.  And now she was afraid that would show on her face.

She and Jessie entered the crowed cafeteria where many parents gathered to wait for their children to be dismissed. She put her name on one of the sign out forms and then found a seat toward the back to sit and wait.  Usually she sat right in the front of the cafeteria, so she'd be one of the first allowed into the adjoining gym to collect the boys.  But, that day she wanted to disappear into the sea of faces hoping that Dominique wouldn't notice her when he came in.

Moments later she saw him saunter in the door.  She quickly averted her eyes, but out of her peripheral vision she saw him walking straight toward her.  For the entire school year she'd watched him every day from afar, as he'd never seemed to even glance at her.  And now he apparently had something else to say for the second day in a row.

Dominique took a seat on the bench next to her, leaving a more than appropriate twelve inches at least between them.

"Hey," he said to her, but looking straight ahead, his eyes scanning the crowd.  She wondered if that was a cop thing, automatically people watching.  He probably didn't realize he did it.  Maybe he was trying extra hard not to look at her.  But then, why talk to her at all?

"Hey," she said shyly.

"How are you today?"

She thought of Zander and the argument that had ensued when she repeatedly tried to roust him to prepare for work.  She'd obsessively wondered all day how things had gone when he arrived late.  "Fine, and you?"

He nodded, his mouth set in a serious ridged straight line.  "Fine."

They sat there not speaking, something unsaid hanging between them.  She obsessively glanced at the clock and fiddled with Jessie's hair.  Seven minutes remained until they'd be allowed into the gym.  Despite the noisy din in the cafeteria, she imagined she could hear and audible tick tock of the big clock moving agonizingly slowly.

Finally it was time.  The principal opened the doors to the gym and the crowd began to move forward. 

"Well," she said, standing up and grabbing Jessie's hand.  "Have a nice evening!"  Her voice was way too chipper and she gave him a quick smile with wide eyes that probably looked a little crazy. 
Jesus, take it down a notch,
she chided herself. 

She began to walk away from him.  "Mary Jane."  He spoke in a voice so quiet it was strange she even heard it over the noise.  Her back went rigid and she slowly turned back toward him.  He took a couple steps toward her.  "I dreamt of you again last night."

Mary Jane frowned and gave him a pleading look.  She scooped Jessie up and hurried away from him.

***

In the crowded parking lot this time she studied him closely as he led his Kindergarten and First Grade sons to his black sedan.  They were like little replicas of him.  She wondered fleetingly about their mother.  She'd heard that he'd lost his post with the Sheriff's Office because he pulled a gun on a fellow sheriff when he found her having sex with him in a cruiser on a back road.  The police department had taken Flame on and his marriage had ended.  Or so the story went.

  An emotion somewhere between confusion and anger ignited in the areas of her mind that she'd kept closed for so long.  What was his point?  Why now?  She knew him well enough to know that he was observant and knowledgeable as a cop.  He was the sort of cop that knew way more than the average person would expect about the people in the town he served.  He knew she was married, there was no doubt.  He probably knew everything about her. 

And he knew he'd broken her heart.

He was so different than the man she'd imagined when she loved him once.  She wished he'd never said another word to her.  And the things he was saying could easily cross a line.  She didn't want to cross that line.  But deep inside herself, she knew, she likely wouldn't tell him no.  Despite everything.  Despite the pain he caused her. 

Once again, Mary Jane's mind drifted back.

The day that old hag snidely informed her that Dominique had eloped over the weekend; she'd suffered a miserable day at work.  Careful eavesdropping on select conversations throughout the day had confirmed that Doris had been telling the truth.  Apparently Flame had been seeing someone for a while and over the weekend they'd tied the knot.

That evening, Mary Jane's best friend Melanie had joined her in her small apartment.  Melanie knew how she felt about Dominique and lovingly comforted Mary Jane as she wept.  She cried pitifully until her face was blotchy and eyes puffy.  Then Melanie leapt up in her characteristic bubbly way.

"You know what, baby girl, to hell with that prick!" Melanie exclaimed boisterously.  "Let's forget about him!"

Her optimistic musing only caused Mary Jane to erupt into tears once more.  "I can't!"

Melanie reached down to swipe at the fresh cascade of tears on Mary Jane's face.  "MJ, he strung you along and played you out like a fool.  Fuck him."

"Well, he didn't really, Melanie!" Mary Jane argued.  "Not really.  He never asked me out.  We never spent private time together.  He didn't lead me on, and he didn't dishonor his girlfriend.  He really didn't do anything wrong."

"Pft.  Whatever, MJ.  Yes he did.  He knew how you felt.  He kept you on the line while he saw how things played out with his girl.  Hate him.  He deserves it."

Mary Jane stared glumly into her lap.  She wanted to hate Dominique.  That would probably be the fastest track to recovery from this blow.  But she didn't think she could.

"Let's go out tonight!" Melanie exclaimed.  She darted into Mary Jane's bathroom and returned with her makeup bag.  Then she went to her closet and spent a couple minutes fashioning a cute dress and boots outfit.  "Come here, lemme fix your face and hair sweetie," Melanie demanded kindly.

"Oh I don't think so.  I don't feel like going out.  I wouldn't be good company tonight.  Anyhow, where would we even go?"

"To a karaoke bar!" Melanie explained jovially.

"Uh, I'm only nineteen."

"No worries!  I can get us in at this place I go all the time."

Mary Jane sighed and after arguing for several minutes, she relented to Melanie's feel better campaign.  She really had zero interest in going to a bar, particularly since she wasn't even legally old enough to go to one.  She'd never had a drink in her life.  But, that small part of her that was angry with Dominique wanted to do something she knew he'd never approve of.

Break the law.

Another hour found them seated together in a honky tonk barroom and Mary Jane sipped her first ever alcoholic beverage.  It was what Melanie had called a "Tequila Sunrise."  She was surprised that she didn't hate the taste.  It mainly just tasted like orange juice with a slightly salty kick.  She found it went down very easily.  Maybe a little too easily.

Soon she was singing karaoke and dancing with Melanie who had a decidedly wild side.  They eventually decided to forego the Sunrise and just shoot straight Tequila.  She didn't forget Dominique Flame, but the heartache was significantly dulled.  Maybe she could get used to this.

Zander Barnaby strutted into the bar when she and her friend were several shots deep into their buzz.  He'd been a senior when she was a sophomore.  She recalled thinking him cute but having zero interest in him since he was a wild child and she was mostly quiet and reserved.  Plus, he'd never given her a second glance either.  But he sure gave her a glance that night.  In fact, he zeroed in on her as soon as he walked in the door.

Though Zander presented a striking image in his crisp blue jeans and black t-shirt complete with tattoos and rippling muscles, she wasn't particularly interested in his attention that night.  But, guided by Melanie's upbeat and slightly pushy personality, she agreed to dance with him.  They danced one fast song and then another, their bodies moving closer and closer.  He started buying her drinks and then she found she was enjoying herself and forgetting.

It wasn't long before the effect of the never before experienced magical elixir of Tequila caught up with her and she found herself dizzy and feeling ill.  The tears from earlier in the evening reemerged and she was abruptly ready to end the fun.

"Take me home, Mel," she whined, leaning heavily on her friend.

"You wanna take her home, sparky?" she asked, giving Zander a wink.

"Oh no," he said.  "I think you probably should."

Mary Jane's heart warmed slightly that this man who'd previously been dirty dancing with her was now being a gentleman.  Either that or he was just disgusted by her inability to handle her liquor.  Either way, he was clearly taking the high road.

"Aw, come on, Zander," Melanie ribbed good naturedly.  "She could really use your…  Company tonight, I think."

Zander shifted from one foot to another, looking uncomfortable.  He turned his big blue eyes to Mary Jane.  "Would you like me to take you home instead of Melanie?"

Mary Jane groaned.  "I really don't care; I just need to go home."

Zander reluctantly relented and Melanie helped him load her into his truck.

Though the trip to her apartment was a short one, the ride in the truck didn't do her spinning head any favors.  By the time Zander helped her out of the truck, her condition had deteriorated.  She cried, and felt like an idiot for it.

"Hey," he said softly, catching her tears with his thumbs.  "It's OK.  We've all been there.  Do you live downstairs or up?"

She glanced toward the rickety set of wooden steps that led up to her apartment, which presently seemed insurmountable.  She let out another pitiful wail.  "Uuuuuup."

Zander chuckled despite himself, but tried to hide it.  "OK, listen; let me help you up there.  I swear, I'm not an asshole.  I just want to get you inside and help you get settled, alright?"

She nodded.  "Yes, thank you," she agreed.

At the foot of the stairs, Zander turned to her awkwardly.  "Why don't you just let me carry you, OK?  I'll take care of you," he said simply and sweetly.

Mary Jane's heart swelled and her tears slowed.  She'd royally blown her first attempt at being a grown up and also bringing a man home.  But he was being so sweet.  Something about him seemed extremely genuine, though she acknowledged that she perhaps wasn't the best judge of character.  She opened her arms and allowed him to sweep her up against him.  She inhaled the scent of him and enjoyed his heat in the cold night air.

As soon as he carried her inside and gently set her back on her feet, she felt the bile burning the back of her throat.

Without a word, Mary Jane bolted for the bathroom and proceeded to wretch her guts into the toilet.  She sobbed inconsolably as Zander appeared in the bathroom behind her and gently took hold of her hair.  She wished he'd go away, but she was so sick she couldn't say a word.  He just held her hair and rubbed her back patiently, seeming unaffected by the overall grossness of the situation.

When her illness finally subsided she did feel slightly better and more like herself again.  She flushed the commode and stood on shaky legs, keeping her back to him.  She edged past him to splash cool water into her face and brush her teeth.  When she finally straightened and looked into the mirror, she saw her own drawn pale face and him still there in the background.  "Why are you still here?" she asked point blank.

"You haven't asked me to leave yet."

She continued to study his face in the mirror.  "Thank you…  For taking care of me," she said sincerely.

He smiled shyly and dropped his eyes for just a second.  But he just as quickly returned them to meet her gaze in the mirror.  There was something about the way he looked at her.  Maybe she was just drunk, but nobody had ever looked at her like that before.  "Well, as long as you're OK, then I guess I'll get on."

Mary Jane turned slowly to face him.  For a long moment they stood there locked in each other's eyes.  Then she rose on her tip toes and slipped her arms around his neck.  They came together in a feverish kiss.  Zander deftly lifted her onto the vanity sink and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Chapter 4

Z
ander came into the diner and called her several times in the following days.  She didn't totally dislike him, and she was impressed that he was even interested in the floozy that had taken him home from a bar and slept with him.  She wondered if he'd known that she was a virgin.  She wondered if there was a way for experienced man to tell.  Maybe it had been the tequila but she'd felt like she'd done pretty well.  She'd certainly enjoyed it.  But, she wasn't particularly interested in doing it again.  At least, not with him.

She still glanced anxiously at every customer who walked in the door at work, hoping it would be Dominique Flame, but it never was.  And when it was Zander who walked in, she found herself upset by an intense mixture of desire and disappointment.  She was polite and borderline friendly to him, but she knew eventually she'd have to tell him she wasn't looking for love.  Or anything else.

However, four weeks after their one night of passion, she found herself crying at her mom's kitchen table.

"Mary Jane," her mother complained.  "How in the world did this
happen
?"

"Well, gee, Mom, the usual way!" she snarled.

"Don't take that tone with me, young lady!  It's not
my
fault!"

Her mother joined her at the table and put a comforting arm around Mary Jane.  "Shhh, baby, don't cry.  It's gonna be OK.  What do you want to do?"

Mary Jane took a deep, jagged breath.  "I guess I have to tell the father."

***

Dominique Flame's marriage announcement was released in the newspaper the same day that Zander Barnaby happily proposed marriage.

She sat at a break table at work staring at the picture of Dominique looking gorgeous in his dress uniform holding his perfect blonde bride in her pristine white gown.  He wore a small smile and she grinned broadly.  She really was pretty; making Mary Jane feel mousy in comparison.  She was the same age as Mary Jane but had gone to a high school in a neighboring town, so she didn't know the girl.  She fought tears and sadly discarded the paper into the garbage can hanging off the bussing cart.

After work, Zander picked her up in his beat up pickup truck and presented her with a modest diamond ring.  Tears sparkled in her eyes as she looked back and forth between the ring and his happy eyes.  She imagined he probably assumed they were tears of joy.  She couldn't bear to tell him different.

So, she accepted.

They had a small ceremony in the earliest days of summer that year.  Their families came together to celebrate at the local party barn.  There was music and dancing, and she caught the disdain on her father's face when Zander drank way too much.  But he didn't say anything.

Zander moved into Mary Jane's apartment when they married and there they stayed for the duration of the pregnancy.  She waited tables at the diner clear up until the end.  Somewhere inside her she always hoped Dominique would return and see her, the picture of happiness as a newly married expecting mother.  It was mostly a front, but he'd never know.  But, he never appeared again.

She had an uneventful pregnancy and Zander worked diligently and held it down throughout.  They got a small rental house when the boys were born and Zander told her he didn't want her to return to work.  For the first several months things went swimmingly.  Zander was a lovely father and Mary Jane began to feel they'd have a very happy life together.  And they did.  But before the boys turned one, Zander drove a company truck drunk and wrecked it, putting an end to that job and their first house together.  They were forced to live with her parents while they got back on their feet and it was a tense and stressful time.  Finally he found a job again and luckily avoided legal problems with his previous employer.

And so went the roller coaster of their life together.

***

Zander came home after work and didn't say a word about his day.  Dinner was on the table within minutes of his arrival and he ate it silently, brooding and dark.  After dinner he was gone again, curtly reporting he was going back to the bar.  Mary Jane sighed and made a decision as she stood behind the screen door watching him drive away.

The following morning, she tried one time to get Zander to get up and get ready to go to work on time.  As usual after a night of drinking, he stubbornly refused to get up.  She reset his alarm hoping he'd be in a better disposition after another hour's sleep but deciding she wouldn't be around to fight with him.

She readied the children and headed out to drop off the twins at school.  Then, she took Jessie to the local daycare center.  She introduced herself to the center's coordinator and asked if there were openings.  Naturally, Jessie was welcomed with open arms.

She toured the facilities, met the daycare providers, and played for a while with Jessie in the room where she would spend most of her time.  Though her little girl had never known a babysitter in her entire life, she loved the place and seemed happy as a lamb to be left there.  After a while, Mary Jane said goodbye and returned to the van.  She laid her head on the steering wheel and bawled.  She'd never left any of her kids other than to send the boys to school.  She almost wished she'd never had the chance to be a stay at home mom because then she wouldn't know this pain of giving it up.  In that moment, she resented the hell out of Zander.  In that moment, she hated him.

When she finally somewhat gathered her wits, Mary Jane drove downtown and parked in front of Layman's Lunch.  For a moment she sat there looking around the busy downtown street letting the memories rush in.  So much had happened to her during the time she worked there.  Her life had changed.  She let herself feel the pain of wondering what things would be like if Dominique hadn't done what he did.  Then finally, with one last deep breath, and check in the mirror to wipe away the smudges of mascara beneath her eyes, she ventured into the diner.

Old Man Layman had been dead and gone for several years, but the management remained the same.  She moseyed inside and took a seat at the coffee counter.  Unbelievably, she noted that even old Doris was still there, working the tables.
Hell, she must be pushing eighty,
Mary Jane thought incredulously.  Doris approached, flipped up the coffee cup in front of Mary Jane, and poured her a cup without even asking if she wanted it.

"Well hi there, stranger!" Doris said in a shockingly friendly tone.  Maybe several years of marriage and child rearing had earned Mary Jane a little more respect than she'd once gotten from the woman.

"Hi, Doris, how have you been?" Mary Jane said sweetly.

"Just fine, just fine!  What brings you in?"

"Well, I'm actually hoping to see if you guys are hiring by chance."

Doris smiled, a broad genuine smile, again surprising Mary Jane.  "I think they can probably get you working, let me go get the manager!"

Doris sashayed away and disappeared into the kitchen.  Soon, the same manager she'd worked for in the past emerged and greeted her warmly.  They exchanged a short conversation and Mary Jane was hired on the spot.  They agreed she'd start the following morning, and Mary Jane thanked him with a sense of overwhelming relief.  Everything was going to be OK this time.  No matter what Zander pulled, she would take care of things herself.  She smiled and the manager returned to work leaving her alone to finish her coffee.

When Mary Jane took her last sip, she turned on her stool to get up and leave.  Which was exactly when Dominique Flame walked in the door.  She stopped, falling dead still on her seat.  Unlike when she saw him in the afternoons at school, he was in uniform then.  And there he stood staring into her eyes, right there in the place where their nonexistent love affair had once transpired in her imagination.

For a moment he was as frozen as she; clearly shaken by seeing her.  Then he regained his composure and crossed to where she sat.  He slid onto the stool right next to her and she turned back to once more face the counter.  They sat with their elbows touching. 

Doris returned with the coffee pot.  She gave them each a look with one arched eyebrow but said none of what she was obviously thinking.  Perceptive old woman.  She hadn't forgotten.

"'Nother cup, Mary Jane?" Doris asked.  Mary Jane nodded and Doris poured.  Then she flipped up Dominique's cup, poured his too, and then walked away without a single smart comment.

For another awkward moment neither of them spoke.  Then she finally broke the ice.  "You drink coffee now?" she said timidly.

Dominique gave a curt nod.  "Do a lot of things I probably shouldn't now, I suppose." 

She stole a sideways glance at him, consciously noting the feeling on her skin where his elbow touched hers.  It was as though that one spot of her was burning.  "That so?" she said with just a tiny streak of boldness.

Dominique spun his stool and was suddenly facing her though she still faced forward, which put his lips directly next to her ear.

"Mary Jane," he said softly but urgently.  "I made a mistake.  I'm sorry."

She turned her head excruciatingly slowly until her lips were only a fraction of an inch away from his.  Her breaths came in short shallow bursts and blood rushed in her ears.  "Yes, Dominique.  You sure did."

She lurched off her seat, grabbed her purse, and bolted out the door leaving it jingling as it swung shut behind her.