August 7
Dear Dad,
The front of this postcard features a picture of some very famous windmills that are located in Mykonos, which is where I am now. Though I won’t tell you why since even though you managed to tell me about Mom’s new boyfriend, you failed to mention the fact of how you are now living with your girlfriend. Though I guess we’ll just have to save that little conversation for one of those fun family conference calls you and Mom seem so fond of.
Thank you for curing me of my unbridled optimism.
Love,
Colby
August 7
Dear Nat,
I know you’re probably pretty surprised to get a postcard from me, but I’m in Mykonos, sitting at the dock, waiting for Levi’s boat to come in, and I’m kind of bored, and needed something to do, so I figured I’d send you a card.
Anyway, it’s really pretty here, just like it looks in the picture, and, well, I think I see his boat so—
Take care,
Colby
August 7
Dear Amanda,
OMG—Levi’s boat just got here, but I thought I’d say a quick HEY! since I haven’t sent you any postcards since I got here. Anyway, obviously I haven’t been to that beach yet—though maybe I’ll go there with Levi—who knows?
Okay, he’s here, so—
Later—
Colby
Circle in the Sand
August 8
This post will be short and sweet because I’m
TOTALLY EXHAUSTED!
But that’s probably only because I just got off the boat from Mykonos and came straight here to the café to download some of these photos, which probably wasn’t the best idea since I’ve been up all night and I look pretty ratty, to the point where Petros is actually shaking his head and scowling at me from behind the counter. Not to mention how he refused to make me a frappe when I ordered one.
Instead he took one look at me and said, “No coffee for you! You look terrible! Like gypsy! Go home!” Yup, you always know where you stand with Petros.
And since he seems pretty dang serious about sending me home, and is probably just seconds away from evicting me, I’ll make it snappy!
1) Behold the famous Mykonian windmills. Pretty, huh?
2) The famous Mykonian pelican as seen from afar! And yes I know there are pelicans in Tinos too, but they’re not exactly famous now are they?
3) The famous Mykonian wild nightlife! And just so you know, I took this picture especially for YOU, ANONYMOUS. But to be honest, out of all of these things, I have to admit that I liked #4 the best!
4) This is Little Venice, my favorite place of all! Probably because it was just so romantic, with the way the water laps right up against the buildings, just like the real Venice (even though I’ve never actually been, I’ve seen pictures). The funny thing is that this wasn’t originally on my list of things to see. But my friend had a guidebook, and this place was definitely recommended. And even though this is not the best picture—I still think you can see why they’d suggest it.
5) This is a picture of Super Paradise beach, though we only stayed long enough for me to snap this picture, because it was full of naked and/or nearly naked gay guys, which totally freaked out my friend.
6) Here’s a picture of my friend and me at Paradise beach. It should be noted that this photo was graciously taken by an older, completely naked, German lady. And believe me, Levi’s the one who asked her to take our picture, not me! Also notice how Levi and I are both fully clothed—trust me, we were the only ones!
7) Here is a club—I forget the name, but just know that it got even more crowded and wild than what you see in this picture. And yes, that guy dancing on top of the bar REALLY IS wearing nothing more than a black leather thong and motorcycle boots—your eyes are NOT deceiving you—though you probably wish they were!
8) Here’s a picture of the motorbike that Levi crashed twice, even though he swears it wasn’t his fault. The scratches are ours, though I solemnly swear that big dent on the side was already there when we got it! Scout’s honor!
9) Here’s a photo of me, lying on the beach, watching the sunrise.
10) Here’s a photo of Levi waving good-bye as he boards his cruise ship.
11) Here’s a photo of the ferry that took me back to Tinos.
12) Here’s a photo of Petros scowling at me just seconds after he told me to go home. See how his mustache is twitching to where it almost looks animated? That’s how I know he’s serious. Though, truth be told, he just might have a point. I am pretty sleepy so—
Later—
Colby
Circle in the Sand
Blog Comments:
Anonymous said:
Looks like you had a nice trip. I am also going away. Though it’s been nice knowing you.
ColbyCat said:
Where are you going?
Anonymous said:
Away.
ColbyCat said:
Okay…but are you coming back?
Anonymous said:
Not likely.
ColbyCat said:
So that’s it? You’re just going to disappear into blog oblivion without ever revealing yourself?
Anonymous said:
It seems so.
ColbyCat said:
That doesn’t seem fair.
Anonymous said:
That’s life.
Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times When She’s Messed Up Her Life So Bad She Has Nowhere Else to Go but Here
August 10
According to one of my aunt Tally’s books, this is how karma works:
Action-Reaction
Reap-Sow
What goes around comes around.
What you give you get.
Though it’s not like I need a book to explain it, because, believe me, right now I’m living it. And all I can think is that I must have put some seriously bad energy out there, because I’m definitely getting some serious payback now.
This is what I’m dealing with:
1) A not-so-happy, not-so-mellow, Aunt Tally and Tassos, who cannot get over the fact that I island hopped without their consent.
2) A boyfriend (?) who no longer comes over, no longer speaks to me, probably never really loved me, and I have no idea why. Though I did see him talking to Maria (again!) at the port, day before yesterday, when I’d just gotten back from Mykonos and was leaving the café, (and no, he didn’t see me) so maybe I actually do know why.
3) An e-mail from Natalie telling me that the for sale sign in front of my house has now been exchanged for one that says: sold.
4) A brief phone call from my mother who assures me she no longer wants to move to Arizona now that she’s fallen for her (much younger) personal trainer, who, she informs me, is actually a
REAL LIVE PERSON
and
NOT
a cliché like I think.5) A father who is too busy to call and/or send a note because he’s apparently not just shacking up with, but is now engaged to his (also much younger, at least according to my mom) girlfriend, even though the divorce is not yet final, and may never be with the way they’re battling over
EVERYTHING.6) An ANONYMOUS person who has gladly taken his or her place in the everexpanding line for “People Who Would Like to Register a Complaint About Just How Bad Colby Sucks,” since he/she pretty much abandoned my blog in a big fat hurry with no explanation whatsoever.
7) A cat that apparently also thinks I suck since I recently discovered that when I left for Mykonos, I was in such a hurry to flee, I forgot to leave Holly’s window open—and so far he’s yet to return.
And all of that would be fine, had my clandestine field trip actually been worth it. But the truth is, it so wasn’t. And all I’ve got to show for it now is:
___________________________________(Nothing.)
Seriously, I’m just as empty as I was the day I first got here. Only now I get to return home to even less than what I started with.
So basically, Mykonos was a total bust, and this is why:
I admit, I couldn’t have been more surprised when Levi got off the boat with his mom and dad and little sister and brother in tow. In fact, I was
SHOCKED.
I mean now, looking back, of course it seems pretty obvious that a seventeen-year-old guy isn’t actually going to embark on a solo Mediterranean cruise. Yet for some reason, that’s exactly what I’d convinced myself of. I was just so sure that Levi was traveling all this way, and only tolerating the stops in Capri and Crete, just so he could get to Mykonos and enjoy a long, leisurely, romantic evening with me.
Stupid, I know. But since that’s only the first in a whole succession of stupid things I’ve done lately, we’ll just refer to it as Stupid Exhibit #1.
Anyway, I can’t say Levi’s family was exactly what I expected either. Though, I guess they weren’t exactly the opposite of what I expected, since I really wasn’t expecting them in the first place. Nor had I given them any real thought before the moment they were standing right before me.
Though if I had, I hope I would’ve been generous, hopeful, and kind enough to imagine something better than how they actually were, because as it turned out, they were kind of embarrassing.
First of all, Levi’s dad is
REALLY LOUD.
I mean, seriously loud. And now I know why foreigners always say Americans are loud—it’s because a lot of us are. It’s like somehow he got the idea that if he spoke in a really loud voice, to the point where he was practically screaming, the Greeks would better understand him. But even if that tactic did somehow manage to work, for the most part it seemed pretty unnecessary, since from what I could tell most of the Mykonians speak really good English, and don’t exactly need to be yelled at.
And then his mom, well, I don’t mean to be rude or judgmental, and it’s not like I think my mom’s all that great at the moment either, but all she pretty much wanted to do was go on a guided tour of jewelry stores. As though the whole point to traveling abroad was so she could conduct an extensive study of minimalls, with ours always coming out on top. Seriously, when I mentioned going to Paraportiani, or the windmills, or the beaches, she’d just squint at Mr. Bonham and go, “How far away is that, Jim?”
Though I refuse to say anything bad about his little brother and sister. I mean, even though they were kind of spoiled and bratty and basically horrible, it’s not like you couldn’t see where they got it.
So anyway, getting back to the dock, the moment I saw them I did my best to just swallow my disappointment and shock, and not gawk at the size of his entourage. And then I waved both my arms in the air, going back and forth, forth and back, like scissor kicks, until Levi finally saw me. And after he mumbled something sounding like—
hey,
his dad marched right up and gave me this seriously firm handshake like we’d just closed a business deal, while his mom just stood there beside him, looking me up and down and squinting at me until she lowered her sunglasses and squinted some more.
Then his little brother laughed, and his little sister stared, as Levi leaned in to give me the world’s most awkward supervised hug.
And then his dad lifted his arm to his forehead, and just as I thought he was about to salute me, he made himself a little hand visor and surveyed the landscape. Then he dropped it just as quickly, and turned to me and said, “So, what are you going to show us first?”
And since I’d only been on Mykonos about twenty minutes longer than they had, I’d pretty much only seen the gift shop where I’d bought some postcards, and the dock where we were standing. So I just shrugged and did my best to explain how it was my first visit too. That I was actually living on that little island, just right over there, the one you can see if you look straight across the water, at an angle.
And after all five of them had craned their necks, they turned back to me, disappointment clearly stamped across every one of their faces, their dreams of a private Greek island tour suddenly dashed.
Then Mrs. Bonham handed Mr. Bonham the guidebook she carries in her purse, and after intense study of the section titled:
WHERE TO SHOP & DINE,
all five of us went clomping through town, wandering through streets so narrow and winding at times we were actually forced to walk single file. And every now and then, Mr. Bonham (our fearless leader) would look back at me and say, “Do all the buildings in Tinos look alike too? Because I can’t tell one of these from the other. It all looks the same. Can’t tell ’em apart!”
Or his mom would squint at me, purse her lips, and go, “Is Tinos this—
quaint
as well?” And the way she said
quaint,
it was pretty obvious that what she really meant was
small-time.
But by the time they started asking me why the Greeks all—
FILL IN THE STUPID QUESTIONS BLANK,
I’d given up trying to entertain and inform them with my answers, and just started shrugging instead.
I mean, first of all, I’m certainly no authority on the Greeks, their islands, or why they do just about anything they do. Because the truth is, I’d spent the majority of the summer focused on one thing—trying to stay connected to home (which would be Item #2 on the Stupid Exhibit tour). And the one Greek I had allowed myself to get close to, I was currently betraying (that would be Item #3). So excuse me for being more than a little reluctant to speak on his, or his people’s behalf.