I reached my hand out to find his and when they connected I laced our fingers together and gave his a firm squeeze. I didn’t bother with words because I knew there were none I could say to make him feel less of what he felt. But lately I’d been finding that a squeeze of his hand, a flash of dimples, the graze of his lips against mine, or just his nearness made that ever present weight pressing down on me not feel so heavy.
When Chase turned to look at me quizzically, somewhat startled by my display of support, I forced a smile to form on my lips and in my eyes. I closed the distance between us and brushed my lips against his. It was soft at first, but he exhaled deeply and then his arms were circling around me, pulling me into his lap and his lips were deepening the kiss.
We stayed like that until the sun hung lower in a sky that had turned from cloudless blue to red-orange and we had to go below deck to get ready for my grandmother’s party.
“Did I mention how ravishing you look?” Chase murmured to me as we walked up the boarding ramp of The Prestige.
My grandmother alternated between hosting her white party at Lanier Island’s Evergreen Resort and renting out The Prestige, a gargantuan monstrosity of a luxury yacht that was over 24 meters long and made to hold as many as two hundred people.
“Thank you,” I said fighting the blush that crept into my cheeks each time he had complemented me on my appearance since I’d gotten dressed.
As usual, Charissa was dead on with her selection. I wore an off white shift that had a pearlescent sparkle to it and left one shoulder bare while the other boasted a strip of willowy fabric draped across it. The dress stopped mid thigh, showing off an amount of leg that was just short of indecent and the pair of gold strappy sandals with spiked heels and matching belt she’d picked out complemented it perfectly, giving the understated elegance of the dress an added flare of edginess.
“You look nice too.” Judging by the multiple pairs of female eyes and a few male ones that stared as we walked past I wasn’t the only one that thought it. I was having to try extremely hard to keep myself from drooling over him too. He looked as good in the white linen pants matching polo shirt and blazer slung over is shoulder as he had in the black tuxedo. He looked like he should be walking down a runway instead of across the deck of a boat.
His eyes roved over me with an appreciative glint that sent little shivers down my spine. “Not as good as you.” The look in his eyes hinted at things not yet explored between us. It sent a rush of heat spreading between my legs.
“Alexandria.” My grandmother’s crisp voice cracked across my thoughts like a whip, yanking me out of the fantasy that was taking form in my mind.
“Hello, Grandmother.” My smile was tight-lipped until I turned to my grandfather beside her.
“You look lovely sweetheart. The older you get the more you become the spitting image of your mother. You have her eyes and her hair and certainly her spirit.”
My grandfather’s words, though kind and filled with love, would have normally made me inwardly wince but the comforting hand Chase had placed at the small of my back while he spoke helped to make them not cut so deeply.
“Grandfather, this is Chase Vincent. Grandmother, you met him at the charity ball.”
“Hello, Mrs. Sinclair. It is nice to see you again. Mr. Sinclair, it is nice to meet you.”
My grandmother soundlessly huffed then turned her nose up at Chase a fraction more. It was a quite a feat, even for her, considering she was a good twelve inches shorter than him. My grandfather considered him for a full minute, taking his measure and deciding if he was worthy or not. To Chase’s credit, he didn’t shrink away from the stone-faced stare that intimidated CEOs of fortune five hundreds and political leaders alike. He unflinchingly stood by my side, holding my grandfather’s gaze and never moving his hand from its position at my back.
My grandfather nodded his head once in pending approval then extended a hand to Chase. “Do you golf son?”
“Not often but I am from Florida Sir. I am no professional but my game on the green is decent.”
“Good. Next Sunday I am planning on taking to the green with a couple of associates of mine. I’ll make sure my assistance gets a business card to you before the night is over. Would you like to accompany us?”
I nearly swallowed my tongue.
“Of course, Sir. I always welcome an opportunity to improve my game.”
My grandfather nodded again. “Great. I’ll see you then.”
I was not fooled for one second by his act. My grandfather’s invitation was his way of setting Chase up to spend some time alone with him without me around so that he could interrogate him properly. By the way the right corner of his mouth just barely visibly twitched in contained amusement I suspected that Chase had gathered the same thing.
“You didn’t outright introduce me as your boyfriend but your grandfather guesses that I am anyway.” The amused smile broke free once my grandparents left to greet the guests as they arrived. He led me to a tall round table situated along the railing of the ship’s immaculately polished deck. A horn sounded, indicating its pending departure.
“You aren’t really going to go golfing with him are you?” I asked horrified by the very thought of Chase alone with my grandfather.
It was just too normal of a thing that boyfriends did with male parental figures of the girls they were in relationships with. The whole boyfriend and relationship thing was still new and anxiety-inducing for me and Chase being interrogated by my grandfather to see if he was good enough for me was just too much like something that would happen in a real, normal relationship. I was babbling in my head and I knew it but I figured it was better to babble inwardly than outwardly. At least then I was the only one who could hear me. I couldn’t embarrass myself.
Chase’s smile spread into an all out devilish grin. “Of course I am. Isn’t that what boyfriends do after they meet the parents, or grandparents in your case? I’m not going anyway so I figure I should get to know the other man in your life. You know, try to gain his approval and build a relationship with him. Prove I’m worthy and all that good stuff.”
I rolled my eyes at the preposterousness of what he said. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend before and well…shit went south before I brought him around to meet my grandparents.” I thought about Deacon and Danielle, the people in my life I did allow him to meet then shuddered at the thought of what might have happened if he had met my grandparents too. “You don’t strike me as the type who would care,” I said playfully, purposely trying to keep the mood light. I gave him a slow up and down appraisal. “You seem more like the casual fling type. With a string of melted and broken hearts that you leave in your wake. Besides, that’s how a relationship between a normal couple would operate. I am not normal. You are not normal. Our relationship is not normal. We fight daemons and Brethren and have a potential end of the world as we know it war between Archangels and Brethren on our hands which I’m supposed to make a fate of the world hingeing choice and then die in the thick of and I’m pretty sure that somewhere along the way that choice or another choice I make is going to end in—”
A deft, long finger pressed firmly against my lips, cutting me off mid-sentence. “Shh,” Chase said across the table to me. “Not right now we’re not and not for the rest of the night. Given the reason for us being on this boat I know it might be hard, but try to imagine that we’re normal. Just like everybody else aboard. You could never be vanilla, even if we really were, and to be honest neither could I so let’s pretend we’re chocolate. Simple and uncomplicated and nothing out of the ordinary but rich and decadent all the same. And to be clear I do care. I admit never having cared before but nothing I feel for you can be described by the words casual or fling. You’re my
girlfriend.
I’ve never had one of those before so that alone should tell you how I feel about you. But in case it doesn’t, you drive me insane. When I’m not around you, I spend every second thinking about the next time I’ll be near you. When you’re not in front of my eyes, the mesmerizing deep brown of yours flecked with amber is all I can see. I want to get lost in them and never find my way out. I want to get lost in the fiery, passionate brilliance that is you. Hell, I’m already lost in it and I don’t ever want to be rescued.”
Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard the sound of a horn again and then felt the motion of the boat beginning to move away from the dock. But those things seemed too far off in the distance to pay any real attention to. They were overshadowed by the enormity of Chase and his words and the lulling feel of his finger brushing back and forth against my bottom lip. Then he removed it and his lips claimed mine as every barrier I’d erected against the things he made me feel came crashing down. I let them turn to dust around me and in that moment, if only for that moment, I could and would pretend. He was nothing more than a guy and I was nothing more than a girl. We were normal and a very normal future played itself out in my head as he continued to kiss me and I kissed him back just as fiercely.
A husband with eyes the color of sapphires; two brothers: a younger and an older one—thick as thieves, and definitely a dog. An antebellum home with a wraparound porch and a white picket fence. Warmth, laughter, and not a shred of tarnished memories filling the inside of it.
I reveled in the magic of the fantasy for the duration of the night.
“I don’t want to go back to the city. I want to keep pretending,” I confided in Chase as we walked down the boarding ramp hand in hand.
“I don’t either. Ever. It’s a hell of a fantasy that I wish I could give to you forever. It eats at me that I can’t. But the speed boat has a sleeping quarters and it’s a twenty four hour rental. What do you say to at least making it last for the rest of the night? We can drive back to the city in the morning.”
I didn’t even need to think about my answer.
We slid into bed at the same time. Chase reached out and tucked me into his side, resting his hand on the swell of my hip. I rested my head on his bare chest.
We hadn’t planned on staying at the lake over night, a problem more so for him than for me. He could sleep comfortably in his boxers but all I had was the dress I wore to the party and the swimsuit and coverup I had on earlier in the day. Luckily Chase kept a small duffel bag with a change of spare clothes in his car. Which is how I find myself in a t-shirt of his for the second time. The smug appreciative grin on his face when I changed into it said he wasn’t complaining about it and truthfully neither was I. As cliche and cheesy as it sounded I felt relaxed and at home in it.
We lay with his arm circling my waist and my head on his chest for a while. The only sounds in the room were our easy breathing and the rhythm of our hearts. I listened to his beat in a hypnotizing staccato. I didn’t want to fall asleep. If I did, when I opened my eyes again it would be morning and the illusion would be over all too soon. It was an illusion I found myself desperately wishing was real and it was in that moment of raw yearning that I decided to take things further than they’d ever gone before between us.
I knew he would never initiate it in fear of pushing me too far into something I’d regret and run in the opposite direction of after the fact. And he had been correct right up until the point he’d barreled through every last one of the barriers I’d constructed around myself.
Now my pulse beat with a fervid, frighteningly feverish, need to hang on to the magic of the moment we’d created and suspend it in time. I tipped my head back to look at him. I was slightly taken aback to see him staring at me with an intensity I couldn’t possibly even begin to put into words. It made my heart beat erratically in my chest. I pulled his shirt over my head with shaky fingers, leaving myself clad in nothing but the black satin panties underneath that matched the bra I’d shed to sleep comfortably.
“I don’t want to go to sleep just yet. I don’t want the night to end so soon.” My words were breathy and unsteady but my stare held strong.
“Are you sure?” He asked me in a strained voice.
It was my turn to smile devilishly. “Yes, I’m sure,” I said kissing his chest and then along his jaw. “You can stop trying to be decent. I don’t want you to be.”
He pulled me on top of him and down roughly against him and kissed me. Then just as abruptly broke it off. “I don’t have a condom.” His voice sounded even more strained than before.
I touched my lips back to his. “It’s okay,” I said against them. “My sex life has been non existent but I’m on the pill… Just in case.”
“I’m clean,” he murmured back, but hesitantly, against my lips.
The concern endeared him to me all the more. His grip on my waist tightened but I knew he was still trying to be decent. I knew his hands tightened to shift me off of him instead of beneath him. Before he could do it I sealed my mouth over his and kissed him fervently, like a woman starved. His grip relaxed and he kissed me just as ardently back. His hands ran up my sides then down my back and came to cup the upper swell of my ass. I ran my own hands over his steel biceps and down his broad chest and rock hard abs, reveling in the feel of silken skin pulled tight over corded muscle. I shifted so that my core lined up directly with his hardened length and rocked against him.
He made a half groan, half grunt sound deep in his chest and then he was shifting his weight and I was rolling under him and his lips were ravishing mine and his hands were everywhere at once. My body felt as if it’d caught fire and I was burning up with a need for the little clothing that remained between us to be off. I wanted to feel all of his flesh against all of mine.