Read Corn, Cows, and the Apocalypse (Part 1) Online
Authors: Felicia Jedlicka
-Home Sweet Home-
Attention to detail was never my strong suit. When August suggested that I could stay at the house to train, I never imagined that meant her, Devin, and Haden would leave me behind with no vehicles and an arrogant prick for a trainer.
I stared out at the empty drive way. I hadn’t heard the engines start, but sometime last night they had left to stock up groceries and left again with their travel bags. They weren’t planning on returning any time soon. A week, a month, I hoped not more than a month. I was mad, but I had made my promise, so I started doing whatever Garrett asked, as if he were August.
He started me out on basic calisthenics and running. If all else failed, he would have me ready to out run a grim in no time. We started sword play, which was kind of fun, except that when I stumbled he would thwack me with the side of his blade until I got back up. It was the type of negative reinforcement that I didn’t respond well to.
After two weeks I came to realize that this was not going to be just a month of training. I was disappointed, but I didn’t have time to gripe about it, since everyday was packed full of training exercises. The only conversation Garrett and I had, was instructional, or necessary.
Do you want gravy?
—wasn’t exactly what I called small talk.
Still, I endured everything he had to shove at me, including the ridiculous wrestling moves that I recognized from high school competitions. It wasn’t until the two week mark that I got to use any real self-defense, and it was only because I actually had to defend myself.
“Dinner will be done in a few minutes,” I said as Garrett came into the kitchen. I expected that the comment would be met with the same wordless grunt that it usually was, but instead he pulled me away from the stove with a thick arm around my waist and bent me face first over the table.
I screamed or cursed or something, but it all blurred into shock and fear. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. His other hand was down my shirt, gripping my breast. “I need an appetizer.” He said and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
I kicked and screamed, but he slammed my head into the table and started undoing my pants. I leaned onto the table further and used both my feet to kick the inside of his knee. The pain made him yelp and he fell back to get away.
I ran for the back door, but he tackled me. He pressed a chef’s knife to my throat he had grabbed from my wood block. I shoved his hand away and pushed myself up to crawl from underneath him. He hooked his finger in the belt loop on my jeans and flipped me over. He pressed the tip of the blade sharply into her throat. “Undo your pants, or I’ll slice you open and finish with your corpse.”
There might have been more to that sentence, but I punched him in his Adam’s apple. He withdrew the knife unable to resist clasping his hands on his aching throat. I thought I would be able to get away, but he punched me in the face. The blinding pain paralyzed me for a moment. It took me a second to realize the tongue in my mouth was not my own.
Garrett was on top of me, pushing his mouth onto mine. I bit his tongue and he pulled away. He slapped me, but I ignored the pain. I pushed his knife wielding hand into his still cocked slapping hand, forcing him to gouge his flesh. He must have been surprised by the move, because I was still able to punch his crotch and upper cut his chin before he could slash me with the knife.
My forearm bled heavily from the retaliation, but I wasn’t concerned. I pushed the knife up again. As I suspected, he over compensated to push against me so I didn’t cut him again. I turned his wrist as he pushed back. The knife planted firmly in the linoleum beneath us. He pulled back on it, but it slipped from his hand.
I grabbed the knife prepared for the extra tug it would take to release it. He jumped off me to avoid my newly acquired weapon, and I threw it at his head. It was intended to be my shining moment in the battle, but the hilt hit his shoulder impotently, shattering any hopes I might have had about joining the circus.
Luckily, I was an ever devote scaredy-cat and already had my exit strategy in motion. I was up and opening the door before the knife hit the floor. I slipped out just as he started to charge after me.
I hadn’t really anticipated what to do when I got outside. I ran. It was the only thing I could think to do, and there was only one place I could think to run to.
-The Great Escape-
When I arrived, I was wet with sweat, wet with tears, and wet with blood. I couldn’t imagine what Priest thought when I walked through his church doors. “Priest!” I stumbled through the aisle, trying to find a happy medium between crying and breathing.
He was standing at the altar with one of his female friends. I was relieved that whatever they were about to do, hadn’t started yet. “Lenore?” He scrambled around the altar fully robed in what probably would have been saved for an Easter ceremony. It didn’t matter.
He was down the aisle after four long running strides. He caught hold of me and lifted me into his arms before he could see that my injuries weren’t
that
serious. “What the hell happened to you?”
“I didn’t know where else to go. He tried to rape me.”
“Who tried to rape you?” He asked enraged by even the “tried” part.
“I did.” Garrett’s voice sounded at the door. My head whipped, and between me wanting to run again, and Priest wanting to attack him, I was out of his arms in one swift movement.
“You followed me?” I asked behind Priest’s arm. I wasn’t sure if he was pressing me behind him, or if I was cowering there, but I was content to grip onto his arm like it was a life preserver.
“Actually, I arrived before you. I still have my motorcycle remember. I knew exactly where you were going. August told me about your…priest.”
“She didn’t mention you.” Priest said taking a step forward that I wasn’t ready to take, so it looked like I was holding him back. “Who the fuck are you and what did you do to Lenore?”
“I’m her trainer. Until tonight, I haven’t really been training, so much as prepping. Tonight, I attacked her.”
“You tried to rape me!” I screamed taking that step forward that I didn’t want to take. I was still firmly plastered to Priest’s arm though, so it didn’t really look threatening.
Garrett looked down at the floor before answering. “Yes, that is what I appeared to be doing. Mind you I would not have actually done that, but I needed you to really believe I was going to do something to you. I needed you to be afraid enough to fight. You did very well, by the way.”
“Fuck you! I hate you!”
“That’s okay.” He said returning his gaze to Priest. “Could we speak alone, as gentlemen?” Garrett held up his hands in surrender.
After a long moment of evaluation on Priest’s part, he nodded. “One moment.” Priest turned around pulling his right arm from my grasp in exchange for his left arm around my back. “Come on.”
“Priest, no, don’t talk to him, just tell him to leave.” I begged as we headed to his dressing room off the side of the sanctuary.
He shushed me gently and closed the door behind us. He removed his robe, under which he had casual clothes on. It was something I had never seen on him. Without the robe or the collar, he looked almost normal—whatever that was at this point.
There was a small bathroom off the room, just a toilet and sink. We both squished into it and he set me on the toilet while he washed the blood off my arm. I watched him play around in his first aid kit before he found the butter fly bandages he wanted.
He caught my eye before he started. His eyes were blood shot, but he seemed lucid enough to trust with my care. He smiled at me. I never understood how he could treat me so carefully, while he played with the insecurities of other women to get them into his bed, or in this case onto his altar.
“Did you know I wanted to be a doctor?” He asked before kneeling before me. I shook my head. “Before I wanted to be a priest, I wanted to help people, save lives, all that jazz.” He pulled my cut together and placed the butterfly bandages. “I decided that I could save people in a different way.” He pulled out a gauze roll and wrapped it around my forearm. I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the unraveling fabric. “Maybe I should have stuck with being a doctor.”
Before he finished I thanked him with a kiss on his forehead. I probably would have kissed his lips, but his forehead was much more accessible. “You’re doing a pretty good job tonight, either way.” He smiled and placed his hand on my cheek. He mumbled his blessing before opening his eyes. “Why do you keep blessing me?”
“Because you don’t know how insane it is to come to me to be saved from a lecherous man.”
“You’re not a rapist.” I argued.
“No, I’m worse. I’m a seducer.”
“You’re going to let him take me back aren’t you?”
“Is he training you?” He asked rather than answer me.
“Yes.” I whispered.
“Do you think what he said was true?”
I realized the sudden attack did seem out of character for Garrett. He barely paid any attention to me, let alone demonstrate any attraction to me. “Maybe, but he was pretty convincing as a rapist.”
“I’ll talk to him, but to answer your question, no, I’m not letting anyone take you. I will, however, let you leave if we can trust what he says.” He pulled me up and walked me back to the door. “There is a vent in the bottom on the door you’ll be able to hear us.” He winked and slipped out the door.
-
Man to Man-
Through the vent, I could see and hear everything. Especially, since Priest forced Garrett to come forward by sitting on the steps in front of the altar. Garrett sauntered up cautiously, while Priest lounged completely comfortably against the step behind him. “How much did August tell you about me?”
“She told me of your many vices. She also told me that Lenore trusts you and that she would go to you if she thought she needed help.”
“Yeah…I can’t break her of that little habit. What about tonight? You expect me to believe that you were just
pretending
to rape her.”
“Believe it or not, but Lenore should know. I was lying on top of her. I don’t recall being turned on by what I was doing. I think most rapists get off on the struggle, but I was too distracted by the fight to be getting any sick pleasure from her pain.”
Priest nodded as if he were mulling over the information. “Pretending or not, that was a pretty deep slice in her arm, and was I mistaken, or is she getting a black eye.”
“I understand your protective nature. She is your friend, and you want to help her, but so are August, Devin, and Haden. None of them have gotten this far with her. She fought me tonight, Matthew.” Garrett brandished his sloppily bandaged hand. “She really fought me, and she won. She got away. That’s all that I’m taking from tonight. She might wake up tomorrow with cuts and bruises, but I don’t care. Her enemies will do nothing less.”
“I guess I missed a step…” Priest leaned forward begging for a name to insert.
“…Garrett.”
“I guess I missed a step, Garrett. Who are her enemies? Last I checked the glimmer grim were pretty easy to avoid.”
“Please don’t make yourself the fool in this. You are a priest after all. Do you really think this is all there is? Do you think that life ends as we know it, and a few puppeteering demons show up to wreck our parties? We are headed into so much more trouble, and if you care about Lenore, you will realize that she needs to get with the program. You do too actually, but I’m certainly not going to waste my time trying to help you out of this hole you’ve dug. I can however, help Lenore.”
“You’re helping her by pretending to rape her.”
“I’ve observed Lenore a good deal over the last couple weeks. She follows orders well enough, she learns quickly, but she’s not a forward thinker. She’s very dependent. She is, for lack of a better word, lazy.” I cringed at hearing that word again. I do everything for everyone. I’m the damn kickstand. I hold everyone else up.
“Lazy? I’ve never observed that.”
“I just mean she is willing to let others take care of her. When push comes to shove, she just falls down. She thinks nothing of losing a sword match, because I’m not actually going to stab her in the end. She doesn’t worry about our mock fighting, because I’m not really hitting her. If I had tried to fight her tonight, she would have given up, or retreated, or begged me to stop.”
“Lenore is not weak.” Priest grumbled in my defense, though I’m not sure he had any evidence to back it up.
Garrett cleared his throat. “I agree, but she has made assumptions about my character that prevented her from considering me a hazard. I had to threaten her with something that she could believe me capable, but something she was not willing to endure. It was a low blow, but a necessary one.”
“You figured if you walked in and slugged her in the mouth, she would cower.”
“I know she would have.” Garrett said without a hint of doubt. I wanted it not to be true, but he was right. I already knew I wasn’t a fighter, but for the first time in my life I was ashamed of that. This new world didn’t leave room to distinguish between conscientious objectors and cowards.
“What will you do next time to scare her, try to cut off her fingers?”
“I will continue to train her harder each day. Eventually, I will be outright punching her.”
Priest crossed his arms and set his jaw. “And she’s supposed to return to that voluntarily?”
“Voluntarily is a subjective term. I would like her to return by choice, but given the circumstances surrounding this arrangement, I’m not sure voluntary will ever be the right word.”
Priest stood up. The stairs offered him a good lording position to Garrett, but given that Garrett was broader than him, it didn’t really have the desired effect. “Lenore!” He yelled for me and I came out after a slight pause. Priest held out his hand to me. I went to him and took it. It was all a display, but I was more than happy to participate. “Lenore can do whatever she wishes. She may leave with you now. She may stay with me here. She may run away altogether, but one thing is certain.
You
will not be staying. Give me five minutes with her and you’ll have her answer.”
Priest hugged me to him and walked me around the altar. Garrett retreated to the back of the church to give us privacy. Priest leaned against the altar, and I stood with Garrett partially in my view. “You think I should go back with him, don’t you?”
“I don’t care if you go with him, but you know you don’t want to stay here. I’m not even sure I want to be here anymore.” Priest looked around the church like he was taking in its condition for the first time. “Besides, he might be right. This glimmer grim thing may turn into something bigger. Don’t you want to be prepared for that?”
I shrugged. “Even if it does, it’s not like I’m going to be the one to stop it. I know August thinks we can save the world or something, but I don’t. It’s been hell in a hand basket since this started. If the hand basket falls apart then it’s just hell. Me picking up a sword isn’t going to change anything.”
Priest looked like he was going to respond, but his eye caught something behind me. I turned around to look at whatever he was looking at but I didn’t see anything. When I turned back he was staring at me strangely. “What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said even though it was clearly something. “I’m just hallucinating. It happens with this stuff. Look, do you want to remain with August?”
“I love August.”
“I know, but is it worth getting the crap kicked out of you every day to be with her, to be part of her save the world team?”
“Yes,” I said without pause. Priest seemed surprised and distrustful of my quick answer. “I can’t explain it. She’s like a mother to me. I would do anything for her. I think…I think I would die for her.” The last part was as much a revelation to me as it was to Priest. He seemed unnerved by it. “Is that stupid?”
“No.” He answered flatly. “I had no idea you felt that strongly about her.”
I looked around the church. I wondered if my pain at losing August could ever compare to Priest’s pain at losing his God. “You know you don’t have to stay here.” I said looking back at him. “You’re always welcome to stay with me; preferably, without the harem or drugs.”
He didn’t say anything in response to the offer. “I don’t want you to die for August. I don’t want you to die at all. If he can beat that gentle nature out of you along with that damn nice streak, I’d like him to do it, but you need to make sure you take every opportunity to fight back as hard as you can.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m serious.” He tipped my chin up, when I started to look at the floor. “If you go with him right now, than you are committing to this. I can’t have you coming back here complaining that he hit you.”
“Oh, that’s nice. You’re kicking me out.”
Priest touched his chest. “
I
don’t want to watch you go through this. Call me old fashioned, but I think men shouldn’t beat up women.”
“Well…I don’t either, but…how else am I going to learn. It’s not exactly a skill you can learn by instructional video.”
“No, it’s not.” He mumbled. “Is that your choice then?”
“Do you really not want to see me?” Priest wobbled his head in neither a nod or head shake. It probably meant, “Yes, but my door won’t be locked.” I gave him a quick one armed hug and told him thank you for the bandage. He grumbled something in response. I headed to the back of the church where my pseudo rapist was waiting for me.