He led her to a lounge chair, sat first, and tugged Claire down in front of him. It was their talking position—where their bodies touched—their worlds connected—yet their eyes remained private. Claire felt his chest rise and fall. While she waited for him to answer, he wrapped his arms around her, hugged her chest, and splayed his large hands across her midsection. Settling against his chest, Claire felt the warmth of his toothpaste scented breath blow against her neck. Their bond held a sense of intimacy she’d never shared with anyone else. His hands on her body didn’t feel foreign—they felt right. By the time he spoke, she’d almost forgotten her question. His Anthony Rawlings—CEO tone told her that he’d contemplated his answer. “Enough—I heard that you love me and that, before we marry again, you have questions that you want answered.”
Claire nodded. “I do.” However, at this moment in time, her heart wasn’t in the asking mood. It wasn’t that she wanted the monster Madeline mentioned to grow bigger. It was that, for the first time in over a month, she felt secure. His embrace completed the release of pressure her small cry had begun. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against his shoulder and enjoyed the internal peace—never had anything felt so right.
“Do you want to ask anything?”
“I do, but not tonight.”
Tony turned her shoulders so that they were facing one another. “You aren’t concerned about that monster growing?”
Claire shook her head as their lips touched. “No, it’s not going anywhere, but I’m pretty sure it can’t get any bigger. Remember, I said I wanted tonight to be just about us.”
In the faint moonlight, Claire saw Tony’s grin. His tone was lighter, with a hit of seduction. “I do remember that”—his finger traced her lips—“I also remember something about that beautiful mouth.”
She stood with her emerald eyes shimmering and the butterflies of desire stirring deep within her. Offering her hand, she grinned. “Come and remind me.”
Tony didn’t need to be invited twice. As they disappeared into the master suite, the cares and concerns remained outside. There were cards to be revealed, and in time, they would. Theirs was a long, complicated story with a monster and a knight. What made their story unique was that these two players were the same person.
At that moment, Tony was her knight in shining armor. She’d been alone in paradise, imprisoned by the evil witch. Her future had seemed uncertain; then, out of the blue, he arrived. Just like in the fairytales, he came to her rescue, freeing her from her prison of isolation.
The rest of the world disappeared as his lips suckled the sensitive skin between her neck and shoulder. Despite the tropical heat, her arms and legs prickled with goose bumps. A familiar moan escaped her lips. With skilled hands, he eased her sundress over her head and dropped it into a pink puddle. Taking a half of a step back, Tony’s eyes scanned her exposed body. His approving smile radiated to his eyes, as dark desire swirled with the chocolate shades of love.
Seconds later, Tony fell to his knees and tenderly kissed her enlarged stomach. Fighting to remain standing, Claire exhaled and wove her fingers through his hair. Instead of enjoying the sensation of his caresses and kisses, she was momentarily overwhelmed with relief. In the last six weeks, their baby had grown, and her body had changed. “I was so afraid...” she mumbled.
Still kneeling, he looked up. “Of what?”
Though Claire didn’t want to admit her insecurity, she couldn’t look away. She couldn’t lie. “That you wouldn’t want me—that you wouldn’t think I was sexy enoug—”
The fire behind the brown raged. Her legs buckled. Suddenly, on her knees, wearing only lace panties, they were eye to eye. Still fully dressed, he framed her face with his hands. She heard a combination of pain and adoration in his voice. “How could you ever think that? My God, you are the most beautiful woman in the world. You always have been”—bending to kiss her stomach, he regained eye contact—“I didn’t think it was possible, but now, with my child inside of you, you’re even more beautiful”—Grinning, Tony directed Claire’s hand—“It should be very obvious; I think you’re incredibly sexy.”
He was right; it was obvious. She smiled and smirked. “If that’s the case—which I admit it does seem to be—why am I the only one undressed?”
“Because, you are
mighty
sexy, and I want to see you.”
Unbuttoning his shirt, Claire suckled his freshly shaven neck. “That doesn’t seem fair,” she purred. Her kisses moved down his chest until she couldn’t bend any lower. Sitting straight, she inhaled. “This does have its disadvantages.”
“One person’s disadvantages are another person’s advantage,” Tony said with his devilish grin melting her world. No longer did she feel large and awkward. Claire saw herself as Tony saw her. With her hand in his, he led her to the big bed, where his clothes and her panties disappeared into the pink puddle of the sundress.
Before she could consider or question, their world became one. It didn’t matter that her body and shape were changing. They belonged together.
Metaphorically—the wolf was at the door. Realistically—their life was upside down; however, in that moment, in their room, in their home, on their island, and in their paradise they had one another—it was a victory. Catherine had tried to keep them apart, and they had overcome her ploy. They didn’t know if they’d won a battle or the war. At that moment, celebration was their only goal.
“Tony?” Claire said as she nestled against his chest with the sound of his heart beating in her ear.
“Hmmm?”
“Tell me something.”
His arm wrapped around her bare shoulder. “I thought tonight was a no question night—a just about us night.”
She lifted her head, to see his face. “It is. I’m not asking about anything. I want you to tell me something.”
“Oh, you do? What do you want me to tell you?”
“I want you to tell me that we’re safe, that Catherine, the FBI, that no one can take this away from us.”
The amusement of her demand faded. She watched as Anthony Rawlings CEO emerged from the man she’d just held tight. She immediately recognized his voice; it was the one he used with business, the one that left no room for debate, the one she used to hate—it was the tone she needed. “We’re safe. No one—and I repeat
no one
—will ever take my family away from me.”
Claire kissed his cheek and settled back into the crook of his arm. She knew what he’d just said was beyond his control; however, she could pretend. The illusion filled her with the momentary peace she needed. Within minutes, she was sound asleep on Tony’s hard shoulder.
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are
.
—John Wooden
For the hundredth time, Agent Harrison Baldwin read the screen of his phone and wondered if he could avoid the multitude of text messages any longer.
If he didn’t respond, would SAC Williams suddenly forget the tirade and possible demotion that was undoubtedly coming his way? There was no question, he deserved it. Harry had done exactly what SAC Williams told him not to do—he’d allowed the case to become personal.
Harry knew that wasn’t true. The Nichols/Rawlings case hadn’t
become
personal—it had
been
personal from before he saw Claire Nichols in Italy.
Harry decided that his inability to keep his assignment professional was in part due to his own screwed up personal life. Unfortunately, he’d allowed both lives to intertwine—when it came to an FBI agent—that was
never
a good thing.
The best part of his personal life had been his more recent reconnection to his sister. Without a doubt, Amber was his closest family, and after his divorce, that was what he truly needed.
Throughout the history of time, Harry had been too quick to fall in love. Ilona was no exception, and when they were young and living the dream in southern California, there had been love—or so they both thought; then life happened.
Harry’s fascination with law enforcement started in childhood. He wasn’t sure how or why, yet from a young age, he knew that was the path he intended to pursue. It began with a degree in Criminology, which led him to the California Bureau of Investigation. Ilona knew she’d married a police officer and was all right with that; however, she hadn’t signed up to be the wife of an FBI agent.
Harry’s initial enquiry into the FBI was actually on a dare—a late night out with police buddies and booze; nevertheless, before he knew it, things started happening—he passed phase one and two of the testing—passed the skills tests—and received the conditional letter of appointment.
Although he and Ilona had discussed his aspirations, neither one of them fathomed the consequences or the repercussions on their recent marriage. After passing the physical test—background check—and medical exam—the goal he never expected to obtain was right in front of him.
The bureau had five career paths. Based on Harry’s education and experience within the California Bureau, he was selected for the Criminal Investigative Division (CID). This division coordinates, manages, and directs investigative programs focused on financial crime, violent crime, organized crime, public corruption, violation of individual civil rights, drug related crime, and informant matters associated with these investigative areas. Coincidentally, Agent Nichols was also in the CID.
The most daunting consequence of Harry’s dream job was the time away from his new bride. It wasn’t a gradual process—not something they eased themselves into. No—one moment, they were together every day—the next, he was gone. That first separation they endured was when Harry went to attend the FBI Academy in Virginia. He should say that, during that time, he missed his wife; however, the training was intense. During those twenty-one weeks, he lived and breathed FBI—and loved every minute of it. At least, during his training, he and Ilona could occasionally talk.
Following the academy, it’s customary for new agents to rank their desired locations for their first assignment. Ilona wanted to stay in California, so Harry made that his choice. With four field offices in the state, he used every one of his selections to accommodate his wife. Placement wasn’t solely based on preference; it was also based on need and budget. The Baldwins were both shocked when Harry was assigned to Seattle, Washington. Ilona didn’t like Seattle. The weather was too cool and rainy, and she missed her friends in California and family out East.
During Harry’s second year out of the academy, while still within his probationary period, he was selected for an undercover assignment. It was quite an honor; however, the assignment left Ilona alone again. This time, she was stuck in an area she detested and her husband was gone—totally unreachable for an undisclosed amount of time. To make matters worse, during his absence, she learned she was pregnant. Reflectively, Harry understood her isolation and depression. At the time, he was oblivious. He was too busy concentrating on the job. An undercover assignment for a junior agent was a monumental boost to his career; the experience was exhilarating, and his evaluations were stellar. Agent Baldwin loved the covert world.
When he returned to Seattle, Ilona’s pregnancy was visible. They’d had no communication during his assignment, so the pregnancy revelation was—to say the least—shocking. Harry’s initial reaction was less than positive. It wasn’t that he didn’t want kids—he’d never given them any thought. Ilona presented him with an ultimatum—his job or his family. Harry should’ve chosen his family.
He didn’t.
Before their child was born, Ilona moved back East to live near her parents, and Harry asked for reassignment to San Francisco. This time, they granted his request. Since that time, Ilona has remarried. The assignment in San Francisco made sense to Harry. It was the one place he could have his job and some family—Amber McCoy, his half-sister, lived there.
Although the two of them grew up in the same home, they weren’t close. Amber was younger, and the one with both parents. Her dad tried to fill the gap for Harry; however, until the FBI, he always felt something was lacking. Sadly, he recognized that he was no better than the man who contributed to his gene pool. Someday, the daughter he only saw in pictures would be faced with the same unmet need.
When Harry moved to San Francisco, Amber was living the dream. She had it all—except the ring. Simon Johnson and Amber were living and working together. He was a great guy, very intelligent, a wonderful entrepreneur, and excellent to Harry’s sister. Harry and Simon became instant friends. It might be safe to say Harry enjoyed Simon’s company more than he did Amber’s; nevertheless, during that time, they all became close.
Harry worked out of the San Francisco field office and occasionally left for undercover fieldwork. When SiJo started having issues with security, Harry offered his resources. Since he was employed by the federal government, he could only do contract work for SiJo. His friend, Lee, from the California Bureau of Investigation took over as head of SiJo’s security. Although Harry wasn’t officially with SiJo, he felt a connection to the company that his friend and sister were working so hard to grow.