Contemporary Women's Fiction: Agnes Hopper Shakes Up Sweetbriar (Humorous Women's Fiction) (17 page)

“Yeah,” he said, raising his eyebrows. “And that’s not all.”

“I heard that, Henry Applewhite,” Betty Jo said, stopping at the kitchen door. “Mother, you think about what I’ve said. Your capers, as well as your crazy talk about Miss Johnson, are upsetting too many lives. They’ve got to stop—or else.”

As the swinging door swished back and forth, my dear son-in-law offered me another cookie. While we munched, he talked about Miss Margaret, but neither of us discussed my dilemma.

After everyone drove away, I turned out the porch light and the dining room lights and returned to my room. For the first time since coming to Sweetbriar Manor, my bed looked inviting. I tuned in The Patsy Cline Hour on WKTX, locked my bedroom door, and added an extra cap-f of my favorite Avon bubble bath under a steaming faucet. Mountains of foam rose above the tub.

I was just easing into the warm water, ready to settle in for a long soak, when I heard a sharp tapping on my door. The sound wasn’t made by someone’s knuckles, but from something that sounded like a pocketknife.
Smiley
. The Fuller Brush salesman getting the attention of farmers’ wives, and here he was at my door doing the same.
Some habits are hard to break.

“Hold on. Hold on. I’m coming. Stop that infernal noise.” I wrapped my bubbled self in a towel and then a robe … and dripped to the door. The tapping had gotten insistent and louder.

“Charlie, he’s going to wake up the whole place.”

I unlocked the door and flung it open. “Can’t you hear? I said I was com—”

The look in Smiley’s eyes could’ve stopped a freight train going full speed. I’d never seen him mad. And he wasn’t mildly irritated; he was steaming. Before I could ask what on earth had him so riled, he exploded.

“What do you mean going off without a word to anybody? Who do you think you are? You think you don’t have to answer to anybody?”

My towel slipped to the floor, and I pulled my robe tighter. “What are you saying?”

“Miss Johnson had us look in every room. When the sheriff came, he searched the grounds. Pearl got so agitated the nurse had to give her a sedative
.
Alice lost her supper. Said something didn’t set right.”

A shiver ran up my back. “Alice is sick?”

“Not from the food. Sick as she was, she insisted on us praying for
you, so I paced the floor beside her bed and prayed. But I have to admit it was mostly for her. Even Francesca was worried. She wheeled up and down the hall, stopping at Alice’s door every time she passed, asking if we’d heard anything.”

“She did?”

“We thought you were lying in a ditch somewhere.”

“You did?”

“What were we supposed to think?”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“You were selfish, thoughtless, and … and childish. You think you’re the only one with problems around here? Can’t you think about anybody but yourself? Miss Johnson’s boiling mad and bound to lash out at someone who can’t fight back.”

My face burned with his tongue-lashing. This mild-mannered man was angry enough to spit nails, and they were aimed at me instead of where they ought to be. I felt my blood pressure rising clear to the top of my head.

“What do you know about this place, about her, that you’re not telling?”

A small puddle of bath water had formed at my feet. I picked up my towel, clutched my slipping robe with one hand, and grabbed the door with the other, suddenly feeling weak and trembly all over.

Then Smiley nearly made my heart stop when he said in a quiet voice, “Sis, I’m getting too old to be caring so much. Too old.” He left shaking his head, his shoulders stooped more than I’d ever seen them.

As I watched him walk down the hall, I whispered, “What did he mean coming in here like that? Why won’t he tell me what’s really going on?”

As I turned to shut the door, Diamond Lil wheeled up. She was laughing, causing her heavy breasts to jiggle up and down. “This is better than television,” she said. “A real blue-light special.” She laughed again as if she’d made a wonderful joke.

“Well, go on back to bed,” I said. “Excitement’s over.”

She stopped laughing and got serious. “Tell the truth, Agnes. Weren’t you afraid to let that man walk you home? Are you sure he didn’t lift some money from your purse? Have you checked? What about your watch? He didn’t steal it, did he?”

“Don’t be silly. Jack’s a little different, but I’m sure he’s innocent of any wrongdoing or that deputy would have him sitting in jail right now.
He’s a hard worker, thoughtful, a real gentleman to Shirley, and to me. He’s too quiet at times, though, like he has a lot on his mind and keeps it to himself.”

“That’s the kind you have to watch out for—sneaky. It’s always the silent types who seem like regular people by day and burglars by night—or maybe something worse like serial killers. Don’t you remember reading about that meek little man who turned out to be a cannibal? Boiling human parts like you would a chicken?”

My stomach did flips. “You’d better open your eyes to what’s going on right around you. Miss Johnson probably leaves you alone because of your Edmond, or whatever his name is.”

Lil flounced about in her wheelchair, waving her diamonds. “His name is—”

“And another thing. I’m not loaning you any more of my tabloids. Jack is a regular person. Just happens to be quiet and doesn’t let the world hear his thinking. Oh, quit shaking your head at me. You’re not listening. I’m going to finish my bath.”

“Wait,” she said. “The next time you get out of this place, would you do me one favor?”

I’d reached my limit. First Smiley had left me feeling unsettled and confused, and now Lil’s narrow-minded thinking had me steamed. The combination called for a double-shot of Jack Daniels, which was impossible, so I thought of the Nyquil I’d poured into the lotion dispenser. So much had happened since then, it seemed like another lifetime.

My mind was in a fuddle, but I finally answered in a half-calm voice. “I don’t know if there
will
be a next time. If I do leave, it might be permanent. I might have to move to … to no telling where.”

She cackled a funny little laugh and waved her hand in the air like she was shooing a fly. “Now who’s being dramatic? You might have to follow a few rules, like signing out before you take off. Big deal. Anyway, next time, get me one of those hot dogs from Blind George’s. My stomach’s made of iron.”

B
efore Sunday morning’s breakfast buzzer sounded, the residents of Sweetbriar Manor hurried toward the dining room, drawn by the aroma of coffee, sausage, and biscuits. But anticipating a delicious breakfast wasn’t the only reason for all the smiles and excited chatter. Word had gotten around that Shirley, our nail lady, was also our cook—at least today. And after she’d taken charge last night, I figured she could handle most anything.

As soon as I entered the dining room, heads leaned toward each other. They weren’t discussing the delicious smells coming from the kitchen or the sounds of Shirley singing, “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain.” No indeed. Their buzzing voices reminded me of the Bible story Miss Briggs always told about great swarms of locusts coming into Egypt, wings beating the air until those awful creatures landed and gobbled up crops and fields of wheat.

People turned clear around in their chairs to stare. Some even pointed fingers as snippets flew about the room.

“You didn’t hear all the commotion last night?”

“Why, that woman was in a gunfight down at Blind George’s.”

“It’s a disgrace, the police bringing her home. My mama always told me—”

“My goodness, doesn’t anyone around here have any manners?” I said.

Pearl walked over to our table and stood by my chair. She had that terrible frown working the wrinkles in her forehead, and her mouth was drawn down to her chin. Her bracelets trembled as she wrung her hands. Finally, she spoke. “Is there something I need to know?”

I felt terrible and certainly didn’t want to cause Pearl any more anxiety. Apparently, she was afraid of anything that happened outside her narrow routine, and I was beginning to piece together parts of her world that were real, not imagined—things that would frighten anybody. Made my heart ache for the carefree Pearl I had known years ago.

I resisted the urge to touch her because she didn’t seem to like that. “Of course not, Pearl. People are excited about Shirley’s hot biscuits and wondering if she made gravy to go with ’em. That’s all.”

She didn’t seem convinced and made no move to return to her seat.

“Tell you what …” I got up and walked her back to her table. “Come to my room after breakfast, and we’ll find you a hat to wear to church. You like my hats, don’t you?”

She nodded, still frowning.

“I’ll let you have first choice. You can wear it all day long if you like.”

“I don’t know what everyone’s talking about,” she said, more to herself than to me.

“Don’t worry, Pearl,” I said, easing away from her. “Everything’s going to be fine. Just fine. You’ll see.”

At least if I have anything to do with it, things will be better.

Shirley delivered our breakfast and all chattering ceased. Plates were heaped with scrambled eggs, sausage, grits, and biscuits. We were served enough food to feed a gang of field hands. It tasted so good no one mentioned not having gravy. We ate like refugees who hadn’t had a bite in days.

Alice’s chair remained empty. When I asked Smiley about her, he said she was resting after a hard night. He probably didn’t want everyone knowing she’d taken one of her little pink pills kept hidden in dozens of secret places.

I tried to act casual. “Okay. I’ll check on her after breakfast. A cool cloth on her face and a cup of coffee will do wonders.”

“Let her be,” he snapped. “She needs to sleep.”

“Well, we certainly are crossways this morning, aren’t we? Some people can be a regular horse’s behind.”

Smiley turned and looked at me, but I don’t think he saw me at all. He didn’t say anything else, but the sad look in his eyes was almost more than I could bear. My thoughts were in a whirl and, as I turned away, my elbow tipped over a full glass of orange juice.

Lollipop jumped up, but I stopped the yellow liquid with my napkin
before it reached the table’s edge. Shirley happened to be standing nearby and wiped up the mess.

“No harm done, honey. I’ll bring you more juice. And, Lollipop, sir, you sit right back down. You haven’t eaten your fill of biscuits yet.”

I tried to smile and thanked her for her kindness, but my hands were trembling when I took a sip of coffee.

Smiley’s eyes, usually sharp, bright, and often crinkled with humor, had streaks of red running through the white like a crazy road map. Was it because his lady didn’t make it to breakfast or because he worried himself sick over me last night?

No, this had to be something more. His nightmares must be spilling over, haunting his waking hours. I dropped my fork and it landed under Smiley’s feet, but he completely ignored me when I asked him to get it.

“Can’t seem to hold on to anything this morning,” I said.

He finally looked at me but turned away without so much as a word. I didn’t want the stupid fork. I was only trying to get it for Shirley. I felt hot all over and fanned myself with the fresh napkin beside my plate. What right did he have to treat me this way? Did I have to answer to him? Certainly not.

Everyone raved about Shirley’s biscuits. They must have been delicious, but my biscuit, minus the sausage—which I gave to Lollipop—sat in my stomach like a lump of clay.

Lil talked on and on, not seeming to notice she carried on a one-way conversation. “And another thing,” she said, pointing with her knife—a habit that irritated the daylights out of me. “Did you ever hear the name Lovingood?”

No one answered.

“I didn’t think so. You know why? It’s made up. My Edward’s checking him out. He’s bound to have a criminal record and a string of aliases.”

Smiley hardly ate anything at all and finally pushed back his plate. As he stood to go, he leaned over, the usual, comforting aroma of Old Spice missing.

“Agnes, we need to talk. I’ll be on the porch.”

Anything would be better than this arctic air blowing between us. First a tongue-lashing and now, hardly talking to me at all. And I thought he was such a steady, even-tempered man who stayed the same whatever came his way. “Some people are not what they seem, Charlie.”