Constructing Us (New Adult Romance) (9 page)

Chapter Eigh
teen

On Friday that week, Andy met her sister at the Copley Mall for lunch.  Emma worked flex hours at the science fiction magazine,
Alien Notion
, which rented an office suite on the sixth floor.  After they ordered Caesar salads, Andy reached for her glass of water--and almost did a double-take. 

“What is it?” Emma said, noticing.

“Oh, nothing,” Andy replied, realizing she’d been mistaken.  “I just thought I saw Tragan.  That guy over there...”  She waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the sporting goods store across from the restaurant.  “It’s not him.”

“Hmm,
” Emma murmured thoughtfully.  “That’s the second time you thought you spotted Tragan.  Before, it was over by the escalator.  I’m thinking that either a fleet of sinister doppelgangers have descended on the city--
or
--he’s on your mind for some reason.”

Rolling her eyes, Andy laughed.  “
Sinister doppelgangers?  That’s the
Alien Notion
talking.”

“
Fine, but still.” 

At twenty-seven
, Emma seemed perennially youthful in her appearance--especially now, with her cute, sardonic smile, and her shiny brown hair hanging straight, with a slim, narrow braid falling along each side of her face.  One would never guess she was a widow and the mother of two small boys.

“
No, he’s not on my mind, per se,” Andy said now.  “Though, I feel like I haven’t seen him in a few days,” she admitted.  The truth was, she was starting to miss Tragan a lot.  He’d been working long hours and life in the apartment seemed incomplete without him.

“So what’s he like?” Emm
a asked now, sipping her soda.  “Is he turning out to be semi-obnoxious like Ethan said?”

“Not at all,” Andy
stated emphatically.  “I really don’t get what Ethan was talking about.  Tragan’s really nice.  He has a good sense of humor, too--and he’s fun.”

“Good sense of humor?  I
’m already seeing the disconnect between him and Ethan,” Emma remarked dryly. 

Just then the waitress set down their salads
.  Immediately she apologized for forgetting the dressing, before hurrying off to get it.

“
Plus, he’s considerate,” Andy went on.  “And he’s really cute,” she added without thinking.

“Wait, he
is
?” Emma said, pausing as she stabbed into the lettuce.  “I don’t recall you mentioning that detail when you first moved in.”

“Oh. 
Well, I guess I didn’t realize it at first.”  Strangely, it was the truth.  Her attraction to Tragan had definitely grown since their initial meeting--though it was hard to believe she could have missed how incredibly hot he was.     

Appearing thoughtful,
Emma didn’t say anything to that.  Then after a moment of Andy pushing her salad around, she asked, “So what about Brad?”

Guiltily, Andy looked up, somehow feeling caught.
  “What about him?”

Innocently, Emma said, “How are you guys doing?  That’s all I meant.”

“Brad’s fine.  He’s on rounds now.”  Toying with her fork, Andy inhaled a sharp breath, then said, “The truth is…I’ve been thinking about maybe breaking up with Brad.”

“Really?” Emma said, setting her
own fork down.

“Yes, but I’m not sure.  I don’t want to do anything impulsive--
because, you know, I’m not sure if we’re just in a
blah
phase and maybe it will pass.”  Preempting any reaction from her sister, Andy commented, “I know you probably think I should.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Emma replied in her usual even tone.

“I know you’ve never really liked him.”

“Again--I never said that.”

Impatiently, Andy stopped twisting her fork and looked at her sister dead-on.  “I can tell.  How come?  For real.”

For a moment, Emma glanced
off to the side as if that were where the diplomacy could be found.  “Well, Brad always just seemed so slick--and kind of shallow.  I’m sorry,” she amended quickly, “maybe I’m wrong.”

“Mom loves him,” Andy feebly pointed out.

With a wry sort of look, Emma tilted her head. “Of course she does.  Brad’s wealthy and nice-looking, with a prestigious career and impeccable manners.  What’s not to love--from a mother’s point of view?”

“Okay, but from a sister’s point of view…?” Andy pressed.

Emma looked a bit reluctant before she answered, “I guess my read is that for half of the relationship you were away at school.  You guys were leading totally separate lives.  And in a way, you still are--you never seemed to have much in common.  Look, I know he’s got the stats.  Mom
loves
stats.  But…”  Emma gave a questioning shrug.  “What’s holding you guys together?” 

When Andy hesitated--because she honestly didn’t have an answer to that--Emma said, “Don’t get me wrong.  I know sometimes there i
s just a deep love, and there doesn’t have to be an itemized list of common interests.  Sometimes there is just that strong bond between two people.”  She didn’t have to say it; Andy knew that Emma was, at least on some level, referring to the love she’d shared with her late husband, Connor.  They’d been high school sweethearts and pretty much attached to each other, until Connor was sent overseas and killed in combat four years ago.

Andy wasn’t about to compare h
erself and Brad to Emma and Connor--even implicitly.  “We don’t have that big love,” she admitted.  “But…I just like knowing he’s there for me.”  She threw a hand over her eyes.  “I guess that sounds so wrong!”

“Of course it’s not wrong,” Emma assured her, reaching across the table to pry Andy’s hand off her face.  “Half of any relationship is about leaning on the other person.”

“Really?” Andy said almost tremulously, looking for some affirmation or maybe wisdom. 

“Yes, but that’s the weird pa
rt.  You’re implying that Brad is some sort of a crutch, but in actuality, you really
don’t
lean on him much.  So what’s even the point?  You never stay at his place, and you don’t talk about him that often--not anymore.  Honestly, it seems like you’ve outgrown him.”

“Maybe I can’
t handle change…?”

“What BS!  If you couldn’t
handle change, then why would you move out of mom’s big house, and into that comparatively small apartment?” Mentioning the apartment brought Tragan to her mind again.  “Just don’t be so tentative,” Emma told her firmly.  “I know it’s hard to let go, but Brad’s not the only game in town.  Other people are there for you, too--and anyway, you’re way stronger than you think.”

When the waitress re-appeared to check on them, she
noticed that they’d barely eaten their salads.  “Everything all right?”

“Yes, fine.  Can I have another Sprite, please?” Emma said.

“Sure.”  As she reached over the table to grab Emma’s glass, Andy caught sight of someone about thirty feet away.  A young guy with blackish hair, walking toward the men’s room.  For an instant, he reminded her of Tragan…but she didn’t dare mention that to her sister.

Chapter
Nineteen

That night Andy started feeling woozy.  It happened somewhat suddenly, after a couple hours of reading.  She set her book down and squeezed her eyes shut.  Then put her head down on the arm rest for a few moments.  It was the chair that Tragan usually sat in when his friends were over and now she thought she caught a trace of his scent with her face against the fabric. 

She began to feel hot--overheated, really, and flushed.  She peeled off her hoodie, then her long-sleeved tee shirt until she was in just a tank top and pajama pants.  Suddenly the only thing she wanted to do was splash cold water on her face and collapse into bed.  As she came to her feet, she heard keys in the door.

Her heart leapt at the sound. 
Tragan’s home!
  Her instant excitement would probably surprise him, but she’d really been missing him.  Even if his friends were with him now, she was still relieved to have him home.

He walked into the apartment and saw her standing in the living room. 
Right away, his face broke into a smile.  “Hey.”

“Hey, you.  How was your night?”

“
Awesome
.”

“Really
?”  As Andy walked closer, she leaned over to look toward the door.  “Your friends didn’t come in with you…?”

“Only my friends named Benjamin,
” he said smugly and flicked up a folded wad of cash. 

With a soft laugh, she
nodded, impressed.  “I see.  Wait--you went to the casino tonight?  But…”  With a quick turn, she checked the time on the cable box.  “You’re back so early.”

“Well, actually I had the afternoon off today.  So we left around
two o’clock.  I stopped home to change before I went, but you weren’t here.”  Tragan walked closer to her; Andy felt her breath hitch as he approached.  “Are you up now?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m too wired to go to sleep.  Were you going to bed now?”

“Oh, um, no,” she fibbed.  “Not yet.”

“Cool, okay. I need to take a quick shower.  How about we meet in the living room in ten minutes?”

“
For what?”

“What do you mean ‘for what’?  To hang out
.  Watch TV, play
Mario
, I don’t know--
talk
,” he finished with exaggerated emphasis, as though she might be new to civilization.

“Okay,” she said, smiling
.  “I’m just going to brush my teeth and wash my face.”

“All right.  Meet you back
here.”

Fifteen minutes later, Tragan was
sitting on the sofa, still waiting for Andy. 

He was psyched that she was up
when he got home, because they kept missing each other over the past couple days and it was starting to drive him crazy.  And damn--what was with the tank top tonight?  She was usually so covered up, he almost stared when he saw her in that.  He was pretty sure he’d played it off and kept his poker face, which wasn’t easy, because the thin little top had a rainbow design spread across her chest, making it impossible
not
to notice her breasts. 

Now
he tapped his hand on the end table beside the sofa.  What was taking so long?  She said she just had to wash her face and brush her teeth.  Come to think of it…he didn’t hear any water running, or shuffling around in there of any kind.   

Wait.  Could something be wrong?  Of course he didn’t want to
embarrass her, but suddenly he couldn’t shake this concerned feeling, and he didn’t feel right just sitting here, not knowing if everything was okay. 

He
rapped lightly on her bathroom door.  When she didn’t answer, he knocked harder.  “Yo, Andaline.  Everything cool?” 

Still no
response. 

Now his pulse began to pound.  If using Andy’s full name didn’t get a reaction, Tragan knew something must be wrong.  “
All right, I’m coming in--so cover up whatever you’re gonna cover.”  Then he counted: “One, two, three.”  When he opened the door, his heart jumped to his throat. “Holy shit--Andy!”

She
was lying on the floor with her eyes closed. 

“Oh,
God, Andy,” Tragan murmured, kneeling down, reaching for her.  Even though he could see her chest rising and falling, he still pressed his fingers to her throat, maybe wanting extra reassurance.  “Andy, can you hear me?” he said, trying to speak gently, but not wanting to be too quiet.  Maybe he could wake her; maybe she wasn’t totally out of it.

Her eyelids fluttered for a few seconds, before she blinked and looked up at him
.  “Tragan?  What…?”

Carefully, he gathe
red her up into a sitting position, balancing her with his arm. “Are you okay?  You were passed out or something.”

“Oh, gosh…” she
began, then brought a hand to her forehead.  “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Andy--”
 

“
No really, I swear I am.  See, I forgot to eat before.”

“But the note you
left on the fridge today said you went to lunch with your sister.”

“
I did, but we only had salads and I wasn’t all that hungry.”

“What about dinner?”

“I guess I forgot.”

“Andy…” he began protesting.
  The last thing he wanted to do now was to give her a hard time, but it couldn’t be that simple, could it?  How could Andy forget to eat if her body was missing food badly enough to pass out?  “Maybe we should go to the doctor’s.  Or I can take you to the hospital.”

Jesus, he
didn’t want to overreact, but at the same time, he’d never been in this situation and he didn’t know what the correct action was.  Was the hospital overkill?  He had no fucking idea and it suddenly made him furious with himself.  

“No, no, I don’t need to go to the hospital, believe me,” she assured h
im, sounding more alert now, but still weak.  She leaned all her weight into him, letting him hold her up against his arm.  “I swear this has happened before.  I should have had dinner, but I wasn’t hungry and nothing appealed to me, so eventually I just forgot.” She brought a hand up to rub her forehead.  “It’s this new drug I’ve been taking--you know, for the trial?  It kills my appetite sometimes.  It’s one of the side effects.”

“C’mon, a
re you sure, because--”

“Tragan, I’ll be fine.
I just need to lie down.”

“
No, it sounds like you need to
eat
.”

“
I will, but I’m just so tired…” she said, her voice almost pleading.  She started to come to her feet; Tragan still held onto her, helping her, because she was wobbly, until finally, he just scooped her up in his arms. 

“
Oh--!  You don’t have to carry me,” she insisted as he held her body close to his and brought her from the bathroom to her bedroom.  “Really, you don’t need to--”

“You
don’t even weigh anything,” he said, cutting her off.  “My power tools weigh more than you,” he added, making her laugh.  A small, delicate-sounding laugh.  Andy snuggled into him a little as he set her gently on her bed.  “Here, let me get the covers on you…okay, c’mere,” he said softly, tucking her in.  “You’re sure about going to the doctor?  I’ll drive you there now.  Wherever you need to go, I’ll take you.” 

“I just need to rest for a little bit,” she assured him. 

She did look better now, just tired.  When she smiled sweetly at him, it restored some kind of hope in him--and hope not limited to this moment only.  “All right, I’ll be around,” he said. 

As Tragan turned to go, Andy
reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, capturing him. Though he was caught off-guard, his palm instantly went to her back, holding her.  “Thanks for being there.”

“Sure,” he replied huskily,
his throat suddenly tight.  As her arms slid off his shoulders, grazing his chest, he swallowed and watched as she curled up to go to sleep.  Without thinking, he brushed her hair away from her face, touching her cheek for a second. 

On his way out,
he heard Andy’s voice.  “Tragan?”

With his hand on the door jamb, he looked
over his shoulder.

“
You’re the best guy,” she whispered dreamily into her pillow.