Conduit (35 page)

“How far out is the S.W.A.T. team?”
Lionel asked. The GPS let him know they were getting closer to the address
Cassie gave them and he flipped off the sirens and lights.

Shawn matted his cell phone to his ear and relayed Lionel’s
question. “Ten minutes, give or take,” he said to Lionel. “Backup and
paramedics are only a minute behind us.”

They rounded a corner. Lionel recognized the address on the
mailbox at the end of a driveway and slowed his unmarked patrol car. A black
Jeep was parked beyond the mailbox.

Shawn lowered his cell phone away from his ear and leaned
forward in the passenger seat. “Is that—?”

“It’s Jake’s,” Lionel said. “How the hell did he get here before
we did?”

Lionel slowed the car at the end of the driveway. Shawn
handed him his cell phone and hopped out of the passenger side. He removed his
gun from its holster and ran over to the Jeep. After taking a look inside, he
turned back to Lionel and shook his head.

Lionel beat the side of his fist against the steering wheel.
He rolled down his window to talk with Shawn. “He must have gone up to the
house already,” Lionel said.

“Stay here and wait for backup. I’m going to check out the
situation. When everyone gets here, direct them up the drive. That’s the best
thing you can do now. You’re staying here no matter what. I’m getting a little
tired of everyone breaking rules around here.” Shawn left the car and ran in a
crouched position up the gravel driveway, hugging the tree line that bordered
the driveway.

Lionel lifted Shawn’s cell phone to his ear and spoke to the
officer who helped coordinate their efforts. “Brandt just went to the house to
assess the situation. We have two civilians at the house now and a possible
hostage situation. Tell S.W.A.T. to get here now.”

In the distance, Lionel heard the brief shrill of sirens. As
soon as the sound entered his ears, they turned off, signaling to Lionel they
were near. Lionel climbed out of the car to guide the other officers up the
driveway.

A faraway crack and pop stole Jake’s
attention away from the bloody knife. A long moment passed before Jake realized
David’s expression was not changing, nor was the knife lowering into his body.
David slumped over, much as Jake did earlier, and fell face first into the
grass next to Jake while his body covered Jake like a blanket.

Shawn’s face appeared over Jake. Turning his head, he called
out to others that Jake could not see. “He’s alive! Get paramedics out here
now!” He bent over Jake and rolled David’s body off of him. “We’re going to get
you to a hospital and fix you up. Where’s Emily?”

Jake struggled to speak, but somehow managed to answer. “Inside.”

Shawn disappeared into Jake’s peripheral view, and yelled
out Emily’s location to the invisible people around him. Shawn’s face floated
over Jake again. “We’ll get her out of there. Just hang on for me.”

Jake wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on. Coldness crept
into his veins and invaded his body, replacing the pain as his primary
sensation. Despite his injuries, all he could think about was Emily. “Get her,”
he said.

“They’re getting her now. The paramedics are here to help
you, but I am not leaving you.”

A flurry of activity surrounded Jake. He did his best to
respond to the female paramedic who spoke to him. He gave his name, age, and
let her know he had no allergies, but after that his words failed. He watched
the faces in front of him, attempting to keep track of each person while someone
cut off his clothing. A paramedic applied pressure to his stab wounds and Jake
screamed, but his dry throat and mouth muted the sound before it escaped his
lips.

The paramedics continued working at breakneck speed, though between
the pain and the cold, Jake couldn’t be sure how much time passed while he
stared at the sky. The whale in the clouds had long since disappeared, but hard
as he tried, Jake could not force his mind to interpret the new shapes the
clouds formed.

“Okay, Jake?”

He shifted his eyes until he found the source of the voice
and saw the female paramedic who had asked him questions.

“We’re going to move you onto the stretcher.”

His insides curdled as they lifted him several inches off
the ground and relocated him onto the stretcher. Jake closed his eyes and
gritted his teeth when the stretcher rose into the sky and rolled over the
bumpy ground. The paramedics stopped the stretcher near the back of the
ambulance and Jake watched two of them climbed into the back of the ambulance
in his peripheral vision. Jake caught a glimpse of Shawn standing to the side,
having kept his promise not to leave. He used his last remaining strength to
grab Shawn’s arm.

Shawn moved closer to the stretcher. “What is it?”

Jake held onto Shawn’s arm until he worked up his ability to
speak. “Em,” he said within a jagged, raspy breath.

“She’s coming,” Shawn said.

“We have to take him now,” a male paramedic said. “We can’t
wait any longer.”

“Just one more second,” Shawn said. “Give him one more
second.”

“He doesn’t have another second.”

“We found her, sir,” a new voice said from somewhere around Shawn.
“He must have given her something because she freaked out when we tried to free
her. She’s coming, though.”

“Find out what he gave her so we can tell the paramedics,”
Shawn said.

Shawn had barely stopped speaking when Emily stood over
Jake. She looked him over and grabbed his hand. She glanced at someone out of
Jake’s view. “Is he going to be okay?”

“We have to get him to the hospital now,” the paramedic said.
“You need to go as well.”

She lowered her eyes to Jake. The blood streaking down her
cheek alongside her tears frightened him about what other wounds she might have.
“You have to go,” she said. “I’ll be right behind you, I promise.”

Emily’s face blurred, and Jake moved his lips without sound.
He wanted to tell her, needed for her to know before the ambulance left her
behind, but nothing came out of his mouth except a groan. Jake stopped trying
to talk and focused on her eyes and her warm hand in his.

I love you. I love
you. I love you.

He repeated the words in his mind over and over as fast as
he could. He heard paramedics tell her they were leaving, but he did not stop
his mantra. A black void threatened to swallow the world around him, but he was
determined not to leave until he got through to her.

I love you. I love
you. I love you.

Emily squeezed his hand. “I love you, Jake.”

His hand slipped out of hers and he gave into the darkness.

Sitting in Marta’s comfortable
office, Emily focused all of her attention on the cookie in her hand. The past
four months had been challenging for everyone involved in the David Noakes case,
and it was all she could do not to think about it. After Shawn fired the shot
that ended David’s life, Emily’s own life became a whirlwind of police
questions and keeping vigil at Jake’s bedside in the ICU. An emergency surgery
claimed his spleen, appendix, gallbladder, a portion of his liver, and part of
his small intestine. His unstable condition in those first few days cast a grim
shadow over her.

A frequent visitor to the hospital to check on Jake’s
recovery, Shawn kept Emily informed of the developments in their investigation
into David. At the farmhouse, police discovered plans to take Emily to a remote
location in Montana, the same ranch where David’s thirst for killing was first
satisfied. A search of the ranch by the FBI uncovered the remains of Julie
Kerns. After over a decade of holding out hope for her safe return, Julie’s
parents buried her and said their final goodbyes. From the information Cassie
provided police, several unsolved murders in various cities were officially
tied to David.

Through Shawn’s description of the side effects of ecstasy,
along with the sheer volume of the drug found in the farmhouse, David’s motives
became clear to Emily. He planned on conditioning her to associate the
heightened sensations the drug caused with him. The ranch in Montana provided
the isolation required to mold her into what he wanted while keeping her away
from the rest of the world. Between providing for her and controlling her with drugs,
he might have succeeded.

The police questions started out routinely enough, but
morphed into things Emily could not answer. How did David communicate with her?
Where was the mail on which Cassie found his address? How did Jake get to the
farmhouse so quickly? The questions overwhelmed her and her silence made her feel
guilty, so she did the one thing she never thought would happen. She hired
Nathan Wolk to speak for her, Jake, and Cassie. With an attorney standing
between them and the police, the questions remained unanswered and the
authorities soon closed the case on David Noakes.

After two weeks in the ICU, the doctors became sure of Jake’s
survival chances and he was moved into a room of his own. Emily thought the
cloud she felt during his recovery would lift, but she soon realized what she
felt did not stem from her concerns for Jake, but from something much darker
that David left behind in her mind. Because he brought the darkness into her
life, she assumed it would disappear after he died. Yet four months after his
death, she came to accept that the darkness was now part of her, and she might
never be free.

Emily kept Jake ignorant about her plight. He had already
undergone a second surgery to try and repair the damage to his thigh and was facing
another surgery in a week. He required the assistance of a cane to walk, and
his leg caused him constant pain. She didn’t want to burden him with the
darkness and risk impeding his progress. Her body had long since grown
accustomed to its physical manifestation and she no longer became ill. With the
physical symptoms gone, she learned to shield the part of her mind that
contained the darkness so Jake couldn’t sense it.

Marta and Jake laughed, disturbing her train of thought. For
over an hour, he and Marta exchanged stories of the past, talking about Janie,
Jake, and Emily as children in her shop. Emily nodded and chuckled at
appropriate times, but her thoughts rested solely with the darkness and the
pain Jake had suffered because of her.

Jake touched Emily’s arm and she jumped. She apologized for
being startled, just as she had countless times before. The darkness kept her
on edge, making her believe David was still alive and coming for her. By going
against Marta’s warning and opening her mind to find Cassie, she gave him a
stronghold that lasted long after his death.

“You’ve been awfully quiet this morning,” Marta said. “Is
everything okay?”

Emily smiled to ease Marta’s concerns. She had yet to tell
Marta of the darkness, though it would be impossible to keep her ignorant for much
longer. “Yes, of course. I’m just thinking about Jake’s surgery.”

“We all want it to help ease his pain,” Marta said. “It’s
been a long road, but it will get better for the both of you.”

Jake rose from the couch. “As much as we love being here
with you, it’s time we let you get some work done.”

Marta stood up and walked over to him. “I am so glad you
stopped by. I want to see you again before your surgery next week.”

“Absolutely,” Jake said, hugging Marta. “We’ll come back
before then.”

Emily took her time getting to her feet. “You couldn’t keep
us away, not even if you stopped making cookies.”

“Tell Cassie that I’ll have her favorites ready for her
whenever she wants to stop by,” Marta said. “She doesn’t need to be such a
stranger.”

“I’ll let her know,” Emily said. She moved to give Marta a
hug, but Marta stopped her.

“Jake, do you mind giving me a few minutes alone with Emily?”

“Not a problem,” he said.

“Wait, Jake.” Emily took his hand. “I’ll be right back,
Marta.” She walked with him just outside of the office and turned to him.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You have been very quiet all morning.”

“I’m fine.” She lifted her hand to his face and ran her
thumb along the scar across his cheek, left by David’s knife. Every time she looked
at his handsome face, examined the scar, noticed the slight bump on his nose
where it broke, or watched him limp, all she saw was the damage and pain she
caused. She gently kissed him. “I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.”

Jake graced her with a smile. “I love you, too, Em.”

He still had the ability to ease the darkness in her mind,
and she hated being away from him for even a few minutes. Not wanting to keep
Marta waiting, she stepped back. “I won’t be long.”

He nodded and disappeared around the corner.

Back in the office, Emily sat down next to Marta on the
couch and sighed. Marta’s talks in private were always emotionally taxing, no
matter how helpful they were.

“I know it’s hard for you to be away from Jake,” Marta said.

“Very,” Emily said. “It’s like watching a part of me walk away.”

“It’s the same for him, even though he doesn’t have to battle
the darkness.”

Emily bowed her head and moistened her lips. “How long have
you known it’s with me?”

“It’s never left you. I didn’t want to bring it up before
because you must have your reasons for not telling me, but I can’t ignore it
any longer. It’s tearing you apart.”

Living with it on her own was destroying her, Emily thought.
Trying to make sure Jake didn’t see it drained her energy and wrenched her
soul. “I thought when David died, it would disappear. It’s connected to him, so
why is it still here?”

Marta set her hand on top of Emily’s. “When you opened your
mind and let him find you, the darkness became a part of you. It found a new
home, a place it could reside even though he died.”

“But it’s more than that. I feel him living in it, even more
so than when he was alive.”

“It belonged to him. Because he created and owned it, you
will feel him there.”

“I can’t keep this up, Marta.” Emily stood up and walked to
the other side of the office. She leaned against the wall by the door and crossed
her arms. “I just can’t do this anymore. I want to live my life with Jake and
forget this ever happened.”

Marta appeared undeterred by Emily’s frustration. “You can’t.
There’s no way to get rid of it now. If you let him, Jake can ease the darkness
for you, but no one can take it away. That’s the sacrifice you made when you
went after Cassie.”

Emily bit her bottom lip and rubbed her forehead. She
already knew she would never be free of David, not entirely, but hearing Marta
say the words made it real.

“The sooner you tell Jake about it, the sooner the two of
you can deal with it. He can help you live with it, but only if you tell him.”

“I’ve tried to tell him,” Emily said. “I’ve tried so many times,
but I don’t want him to know David is still with me and that he won’t leave. Jake
has already suffered too much. For me to ask him to help me deal with this seems
selfish.”

“You blame yourself for Jake’s pain.”

“There’s no one else to blame but me. I willingly exchanged myself
for Cassie and I asked Jake to find me. He wouldn’t have been there if it hadn’t
been for me.”

Marta walked over to Emily and took her hands. “You didn’t
create the monster and you didn’t set him on his path. That was his choice to
abuse his gifts and do those horrible things.”

“I know, but I wish Jake hadn’t gone through all this. He only
did it because of me. He came so close to dying, and that is my fault.”

“Jake made the decision to find you, to offer his life in
place of yours, just as you chose to put yourself in danger to save Cassie. There’s
no shame in that and there’s definitely no blame to be had by either of you.”

Everything Marta said was true, and though she had thought
it a hundred times before, she had yet to believe the words. “It doesn’t make
me any less upset about his pain. I want to take all of it away from him.”

“That’s part of love, always wishing you could take away the
pain of the other person.”

“Yes, but because of my decisions, Jake is suffering and the
darkness will never leave us alone.”

“The darkness adds a whole new dimension to all of your gifts.
I really wish Susan was here to help with this. I’ve talked to others about it,
others who may have an idea of what to do, but no one knows how to help. We’re
on uncharted territory.”

She had always turned to Marta for answers, and her
inability to guide her frightened Emily. “That’s what scares me the most. Not
knowing anything about it, not knowing how to deal with it.”

“Are you still having a physical reaction to the darkness?”

“No,” Emily said. “Not for a few months now.”

Marta brushed Emily’s hair away from her face. She studied
Emily’s face, and her hands fell down to Emily’s shoulders. “Maybe we’re
approaching this in the wrong manner. You should use the darkness.”

“Use it?” Emily asked. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Not any more dangerous than ignoring it. If it’s a part of
you, then use it, exploit it, grow with it. You’ve already learned how to
suppress the physical symptoms, which means you have control over it. Your
gifts are far more powerful than they have ever been, more powerful than anything
I’ve ever seen, and it’s because of this darkness. Don’t run away from that.”

“But David is part of it,” Emily said. “I don’t want
anything to do with him.”

“He may be part of the darkness, but he doesn’t own it
anymore. You do. Tell Jake about it and let him be your strength. He can help
you harness the power within the darkness and change it into something you can
use. You might be surprised where it takes you.”

Hope broke through Emily’s soul for the first time since she
realized the darkness was a permanent fixture in her life. Walking toward the
front door of Marta’s shop, her last words churned in Emily’s mind. For the
decade after Aunt Susan’s death, she relied on herself to get through the
twists and turns of her gifts, but with her abilities ever-evolving, she no
longer had that luxury. She needed Jake to help guide her, to be her strength.

Emily pushed open the front door and stopped. Jake leaned
against the front of his Jeep, waiting for her. She wondered how he had stood
there the whole time she was inside, while his leg caused him so much pain.

Jake stood up straight, his right hand resting on the top of
his cane. The darkness receded in her mind, like it did every time he was near,
and Emily raised her hand to her smiling mouth. Her eyes fell to his
outstretched left hand and her racing heart warmed. “All ready?” he asked.

She fixed her stare on the light in his eyes and bit her
bottom lip. Everything she needed to curb the darkness, to manipulate it, stood
right in front of her. He had always been there, but she had been too blinded by
regret to realize it. With Jake, she could defeat David and use the darkness to
her advantage. In every aspect of her life, she needed nothing more than him.

Emily walked over to him and slipped her hand into his. “I’ve
never been more ready.”

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