Complete Poems and Plays (94 page)

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
                     Yes. He’d changed his name.

M
ONICA
.
Then I suppose he wanted money?

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
                                          No, he didn’t want money.

M
ONICA
.
Father, this interview has worn you out.

You must go and rest now, before dinner.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
Yes, I’ll go and rest now. I wish Charles was dining with us.

I wish we were having a dinner party.

M
ONICA
.
Father, can’t you bear to be alone with me?

If you can’t bear to dine alone with me tonight,

What will it be like at Badgley Court?

CURTAIN

The
terrace
of
Badgley
Court.
A
bright
sunny
morning,
several
days
later.
Enter
L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
and
M
ONICA
.

M
ONICA
.
Well, so far, it’s better than you expected,

Isn’t it, Father? They’ve let us alone;

The people in the dining-room show no curiosity;

The beds are comfortable, the hot water is hot,

They give us a very tolerable breakfast;

And the chambermaid really
is
a chambermaid:

For when I asked about morning coffee

She said ‘I’m not the one for elevens’s,

That’s Nurse’s business’.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
                So far, so good.

I’ll feel more confidence after a fortnight —

After fourteen days of people not staring

Or offering picture papers, or wanting a fourth at bridge;

Still, I’ll admit to a feeling of contentment

Already. I only hope that it will last —

The sense of wellbeing! It’s often with us

When we are young, but then it’s not noticed;

And by the time one has grown to consciousness

It comes less often.

I hope this benignant sunshine

And warmth will last for a few days more.

But this early summer, that’s hardly seasonable,

Is so often a harbinger of frost on the fruit trees.

M
ONICA
.
Oh, let’s make the most of this weather while it lasts.

I never remember you as other than occupied

With anxieties from which you were longing to escape;

Now I want to see you learning to enjoy yourself!

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
Perhaps I’ve never really enjoyed living

As much as most people. At least, as they seem to do

Without knowing that they enjoy it. Whereas I’ve often known

That I didn’t enjoy it. Some dissatisfaction

With myself, I suspect, very deep within myself

Has impelled me all my life to find justification

Not so much to the world — first of all to myself.

What is this self inside us, this silent observer,

Severe and speechless critic, who can terrorise us

And urge us on to futile activity,

And in the end, judge us still more severely

For the errors into which his own reproaches drove us?

M
ONICA
.
You admit that at the moment you find life pleasant,

That it really does seem quiet here and restful.

Even the matron, though she looks rather dominating,

Has left us alone.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
Yes, but remember

What she said. She said: ‘I’m going to leave you alone!

You want perfect peace: that’s what Badgley Court is for.’

I thought that very ominous. When people talk like that

It indicates a latent desire to interfere

With the privacy of others, which is certain to explode.

M
ONICA
.
Hush, Father. I see her coming from the house.

Take your newspaper and start reading to me.

[
Enter
M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
]

M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
.
Good morning, Lord Claverton! Good morning, Miss Claverton!

Isn’t this a glorious morning!

I’m afraid you’ll think I’ve been neglecting you;

So I’ve come to apologise and explain.

I’ve been in such a rush, these last few days,

And I thought, ‘Lord Claverton will understand

My not coming in directly after breakfast:

He’s led a busy life, too.’ But I hope you’re happy?

Is there anything you need that hasn’t been provided?

All you have to do is to make your wants known.

Just ring through to my office. If I’m not there

My secretary will be — Miss Timmins.

She’d be overjoyed to have the privilege of helping you!

M
ONICA
.
You’re very kind … Oh, I’m sorry,

We don’t know how we ought to address you.

Do we call you ‘Matron’?

M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
.
                    Oh no, not ‘Matron’!

Of course, I
am
a matron in a sense —

No, I don’t simply mean that I’m a married woman —

A widow in fact. But I was a Trained Nurse,

And of course I’ve always lived in what you might call

A medical milieu. My father was a specialist

In pharmacology. And my husband

Was a distinguished surgeon. Do you know, I fell in love with him

During an appendicitis operation!

I was a theatre nurse. But you mustn’t call me ‘Matron’

At Badgley Court. You see, we’ve studied to avoid

Anything like a nursing-home atmosphere.

We don’t want our guests to think of themselves as ill,

Though we never have guests who are perfectly well —

Except when they come like you, Miss Claverton.

M
ONICA
.
Claverton-Ferry. Or Ferry: it’s shorter.

M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
.
So sorry. Miss Claverton-Ferry. I’m Mrs. Piggott.

Just call me Mrs. Piggott. It’s a short and simple name

And easy to remember. But, as I was saying,

Guests in perfect health are exceptional

Though we never accept any guest who’s incurable.

You know, we’ve been deluged with applications

From people who want to come here to die!

We never accept them. Nor do we accept

Any guest who
looks
incurable —

We make that stipulation to all the doctors

Who send people here. When you go in to lunch

Just take a glance around the dining-room:

Nobody looks ill! They’re all convalescents,

Or resting, like you. So you’ll remember

Always to call me Mrs. Piggott, won’t you?

M
ONICA
.
Yes, Mrs. Piggott, but please tell me one thing.

We haven’t seen her yet, but the chambermaid

Referred to a nurse. When we see her

Do we address her as ‘Nurse’?

M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
.
                              Oh yes, that’s different.

She is a real nurse, you know, fully qualified.

Our system is very delicately balanced:

For me to be simply ‘Mrs. Piggott’

Reassures the guests in one respect;

And calling our nurses ‘Nurse’ reassures them

In another respect.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
     I follow you perfectly.

M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
.
And now I must fly. I’ve so much on my hands!

But before I go, just let me tuck you up …

You must be very careful at this time of year;

This early warm weather can be very treacherous.

There, now you look more comfy. Don’t let him stay out late

In the afternoon‚ Miss Claverton-Ferry.

And remember, when you want to be
very
quiet

There’s the Silence Room. With a television set.

It’s popular in the evenings. But not
too
crowded.

[
Exit
]

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
Much as I had feared. But I’m not going to say

Nothing could be worse. Where there’s a Mrs. Piggott

There may be, among the guests, something worse than Mrs. Piggott.

M
ONICA
.
Let’s hope this was merely the concoction

Which she decants for every newcomer.

Perhaps after what she considers proper courtesies,

She will leave us alone.

[
Re-enter
M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
]

M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
.
             I really
am
neglectful!

Miss Claverton-Ferry, I ought to tell you more

About the amenities which Badgley Court

Can offer to guests of the younger generation.

When there are enough young people among us

We dance in the evening. At the moment there’s no dancing,

And it’s still too early for the bathing pool.

But several of our guests are keen on tennis,

And of course there’s always croquet. But I don’t advise croquet

Until you know enough about the other guests

To know whom
not
to play with. I’ll mention no names,

But there are one or two who don’t like being beaten,

And that spoils any sport, in my opinion.

M
ONICA
.
Thank you, Mrs. Piggott. But I’m very fond of walking

And I’m told there are very good walks in this neighbourhood.

M
RS
. P
IGGOTT
.
There are indeed. I can lend you a map.

There are lovely walks, on the shore or in the hills,

Quite away from the motor roads. You must learn the best walks.

I won’t apologise for the lack of excitement:

After all, peace and quiet is our
raison
d’être.

Now I’ll leave you to enjoy it.

[
Exit
]

M
ONICA
.
I hope she won’t remember anything else.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
She’ll come back to tell us more about the peace and quiet.

M
ONICA
.
I don’t believe she’ll be bothering us again:

I could see from her expression when she left

That she thought she’d done her duty by us for to-day.

I’m going to prowl about the grounds. Don’t look so alarmed!

If you spy any guest who seems to be stalking you

Put your newspaper over your face

And pretend you’re pretending to be asleep.

If they think you
are
asleep they’ll do something to wake you,