Authors: B.L. Mooney
The next thing I knew I was breathing hard, sweating, and
fighting someone. “Rebecca!” I finally heard Ryan’s voice. “It’s just a bad
dream.”
I let go of the death grip I had on his arms and lay back down.
“Did I say anything?”
“You just kept yelling for your mom.”
“Shit.” I took a couple of more deep breaths, and my breathing
returned to normal. “I was hoping I would have said something useful.”
Vicki came running in. “What’s wrong? Ashley said she heard you
screaming.” She took a look at Ryan sitting on the bed and raised her eyebrows.
He quickly stood up.
“It was just a bad dream, Vicki. Ryan was just trying to wake me
up.” I sat up and refrained from pointing out we were both fully dressed.
“A bad dream? Do you want to talk about it?”
“There’s really nothing to say. I never remember any of it. I
just wake up in a panic. I’m sorry if I scared Ashley. I don’t have them that
often, but it’s been a really trying day.”
“Okay, well . . .” She looked at Ryan and back to me. “You know
I’m happy you two are dating.”
“Ryan, could you give Vicki and me a minute?” I didn’t have to
ask twice. He bolted before the question was even finished. I smiled and shook
my head. “Vicki, Ryan and I will not do anything in your home.”
“It’s just Ashley is in such a delicate stage in life, and I
really don’t want her to get the wrong idea about what Matt and I would approve
of.”
“I only want what’s best for Ashley, too. I’ll tell Ryan not to
come upstairs anymore, but just so you know, this was his first time up here. I
don’t think he would have come up if I hadn’t started yelling in my sleep.”
“I know, I know. Just being a mom.” She placed her hand on my
arm. “You’ll make a great mom someday.”
“Thanks.”
Vicki wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “But not too soon,
okay?”
I rolled my eyes.
~*~
Once dinner was over, I walked Ryan to his car so I
could get more information about that woman that showed up to speak to him. He
had other ideas and pulled me into his truck. “I hate not being able to touch
you in there.”
I loved making out with him, but I needed to remember where I
was. “Ryan, we should stop.” He was getting me close to the point of no return,
and I didn’t want to have sex in the driveway of my boss’s house.
“Come home with me.”
“I would love to, but I can’t.” I gave him one final kiss and
slid across the seat.
Ryan put his forehead on the steering wheel. “You’re killing me.”
“I’m killing me, too, but I told Ashley I’d help her tonight.” I
had almost forgotten the reason I walked him out to his car. “What did you find
out with Charlie this afternoon?”
He sat straight up, but didn’t look at me. “This is going to
sound like a line, but I’m telling you the truth.” Ryan looked at me. “I don’t
know who she is.”
He was right. It did sound like a line. It sounded as if he couldn’t
think of anything else to say, so he was just denying the entire relationship.
I looked out the window. I knew he didn’t lie, so I had to believe him, but it
was still hard. She had his tie, and then there were the comments about playing
ball. It was common knowledge that he played baseball, but she just seemed to
know a little more than that.
“Rebecca, say something.” He took my hand and I let him, but I
didn’t hold his hand back.
“She just really seemed to know you.” I looked back at him.
“Really well.”
“Well, I don’t know her.” He slid closer. “Look, I’ve been
racking my brain all afternoon trying to figure out who she is. I’ve got
nothing. I lived like a monk until you. I swear.”
I finally closed my hand around his and he sighed. “I believe
you. I just . . . Am I enough for you? You can tell me if I need to be more.”
“What does that mean? Are you talking about the shit that Stacy
said again?” Ryan shook his head. “I’ve told you not to pay any attention to
her.”
Someone turned the porch light on and Ryan, and I just looked at
each other and burst out laughing. Ryan took my face in his hands and kissed
me. “Just remember, Becca, that I’m with you. I’m not with anyone else. I’ve
never been or ever wanted to be with Stacy or that other lady from this
afternoon. I just want you.”
“Out of all of my boyfriends, I like you best.”
Ryan smiled, so he knew I was joking. “If that porch light didn’t
light up the entire cab of this truck, I would make you forget about your other
boyfriends.”
“Promises, promises.” I jumped out of the truck before Ryan could
get a good hold on me. “I really need to go help Ashley. I’ll call you later?”
I waved to Ryan as I entered the house. I would have liked to
think he was watching me walk in for my protection, but I smiled thinking it was
more about just watching me walk away. He was right. I needed to stop worrying
about what Stacy said. He was with me, and from what Vicki said, Ryan had never
been with Stacy. I was still troubled by the visitor this afternoon, but I
believed he didn’t know her. Or at least didn’t remember her.
I was lost in my thoughts and stood staring at the closed door
longer than I should have been. I turned around, and Vicki was standing there watching
me. I didn’t expect anyone to be there and I jumped. Vicki unsuccessfully tried
to hide her amusement at my surprise.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She stopped smiling and
shuffled her feet. “I’m sorry about the mom move, too.” She pointed to the
light switch. “Once a mom, always a mom.”
I smiled. “Practice for Ashley? That’s okay. I needed to get back
in here anyway.” I started to head towards the stairs to help Ashley.
“Rebecca.” Matt entered from the kitchen. I stopped halfway up
the stairs and turned to him. “You’re right about that adjuster. He’s a lazy
bastard.”
“Well, at least I know he’s not just hiding from me.” I started
to go back up. “Thanks for trying, though.”
“I got someone else assigned to your claim.”
I was back downstairs in two seconds. “What?” I hugged Matt for
the first time and quickly realized what I did. I backed away. “I’m sorry.
Thank you for your help.”
“Don’t be sorry. All my girls are huggers.” He cleared his throat
and looked at Vicki. “You’re welcome for the help. Here is his name and number
if you need to contact him.”
“Thank you, again.” I pointed upstairs to Ashley’s room. “I’ve
got to . . .” What I wanted to say was, “Get away from this awkward situation I
just created,” but Matt let me off the hook.
“Go. Go. I just wanted to let you know.” Matt and Vicki walked
back into the kitchen.
“How about this one? It’s a little rough, but I think
it’s coming along.” Vicki and I had been working on the most difficult layout
to date. It really shouldn’t have been that hard. We did this all the time, but
things just weren’t coming out right. Neither one of us had been happy with
anything we’d come up with yet.
“Oh my God.” I just sat and stared at the computer screen.
“I said it was rough, but I didn’t think it was that bad.” Vicki
looked a little dejected by my outburst.
“No, not that. I haven’t even looked at the idea yet. I was just
checking my bank account and apparently the insurance money came through
quicker than I thought it would.” I stared at the amount on the screen again.
“How did I get this so fast, and how did I get so much?” It had only been two
days since Matt was able to switch the guy working on my claim.
“We know you hated having Hillary and Dave pay for anything and
would only accept enough from us to get through the first night.” Vicki
shrugged and looked a little uncomfortable. “Matt made a few calls.”
“Thank you.”
Vicki’s gaze snapped to mine. “You don’t have any comments about
our meddling or arguments about us overstepping our boundaries again?”
“No comments or arguments. I truly do thank you. It means a lot
for me to be on my own and not have to depend on anyone.” I shook my head. “I
know sometimes I seem ungrateful, but I’m really not.”
“I’ve never thought you were ungrateful. Hardheaded completely,
but never ungrateful. Can I ask for one favor?” Vicki walked over and stood in
front of my desk.
“Of course, you guys have been so good to me. I’d do anything for
you.” I looked at Vicki as it appeared her request was making her
uncomfortable. “Vicki, what is it?”
She hesitated and sat down, but continued without further
prompting. “Please stay with us just a little while longer. Ashley really likes
having you with us.”
“It’s going to take a while for me to find another place, but I
do want to be on my own soon. Your family has been so generous and I do
appreciate it.” I started playing with the pencil on my desk. It made me
uncomfortable to discuss this because I thought the real reason she wanted me
to stay was for her and not Ashley. Maybe I should have stayed with Ryan.
“I understand. I would want to be on my own, too, if I were your
age.” Vicki started wiping invisible dust off of my desk.
“How about I wait a couple of weeks before looking and get Ashley
used to the idea. I know my mom is busy right now and can’t really spare any
extra time here. Maybe the three of us could look at apartments together.”
“Really?” Vicki smiled, and I knew this would be easier on her.
Harder on me, but easier on her. “You wouldn’t mind us tagging along?”
“I think I could use the help. Mom is busy with the fundraisers
right now, and I don’t want to take her from that.” I put the pencil down I had
been playing with. “Plus, she’ll probably want you to go to make sure I pick
the right apartment, since she can’t.” I rolled my eyes.
“Hillary loves you very much and only wants you to be safe. We
all do.” Vicki stood up and walked to the door. “I like the thought of waiting
a couple of weeks to get Ashley used to the idea. Thank you.”
“Sure, but where are you going?”
“I think you’d rather be shopping for new clothes right now to
replace the ones you lost. Don’t argue and go have fun. Can I ask one more
favor?”
“Sure.”
“Will you take Ashley with you? It’s always more fun shopping
with another person, and I know Ashley would love to spend the day with you.”
“Are you sure we can afford for me to leave today?”
“It’s fine. Let me get you some money for Ashley.” She turned to
leave and turned back again. “I’m sorry. You didn’t respond to taking Ashley.
Is it okay if she goes with you?”
“On one condition. You let me worry about the money today.” I
kept talking through her protest. “It’s the least I can do. You bought me so
many things and took me in when I needed it more than once. Please let me spoil
Ashley today.”
Vicki smiled and nodded her head once. “Just don’t go too crazy.
And don’t let her talk you into anything but clothes. That’s what she needs.
And who knows, maybe she’ll actually like getting clothes if her old mom isn’t
around telling her what to buy.” She hesitated. “You’re the adult. Remember
that and don’t let her get anything too low cut.”
~*~
I thought about how to tell Ashley I was moving out the
entire drive to pick her up. We’d grown really close the past few weeks, and
she’d become somewhat attached. Now that I thought about it, I’d had two people
to worry about when I left. I knew as soon as I told her that I’d gotten the
insurance money she’d understand that also meant it was one step closer to me getting
my own apartment. What had first begun as excitement to spend an entire day
alone with Ashley had quickly turned into dread as I didn’t know how she was
going to take it.
I headed upstairs and practiced in my mind what I wanted to say
to ease the blow I knew she’d feel when I told her. It wasn’t as if we’d never
see each other again. We’d just see less of each other. I had to make it a
point to at least text her every day. I stopped just a little ways from her
door when I heard voices.
“I guess I don’t know what makes her so special.” Ashley’s best
friend, Heather, seemed a little upset. I waited to hear if there was another
girl who liked the same boy as she did. “I have a big sister and they aren’t
that special.”
“Well, I’m sorry your big sister sucks, but Rebecca is the best.”
I was shocked and took a couple of steps back when I heard Ashley defending me.
“What does she have that I don’t? I’m your best friend, and I
thought we were going to be spending the day together.” Heather’s voice
cracked. Obviously Vicki called Ashley to make sure she was ready to go.
“We spend every day together and I’ll call you tonight. I want to
spend the day with Rebecca. Look, Heather, this is the closest I’ll have to a
big sister. You grew up with one. I’ve been an only child who will never have
this experience if I don’t take it when it comes. She may not ask again.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I just hate feeling left out. You want to
spend all your time with her, and I’ve got things to talk about.”
“I wish you could go with us, but . . .”
“Will you ask her?” Heather immediately perked up.
Ashley sighed. “I’ll feel her out, but I don’t want her to not
take me because she doesn’t want to take two kids. I’m sorry. That’s the best I
can do.”
“I understand, but you have to promise we will spend all day
together tomorrow. Summer is almost over, and we’ll have less time when school
starts.”
I decided to end the misery for both of them. “Ashley!” I made
sure to make my announcement well before the door so they wouldn’t think I
overheard anything.
“In my room!” Ashley shouted her response and then lowered her
voice to Heather. “Please be cool with this.”
“Oh, here you are.” I walked in as Heather was nodding her head
and turning her back to me. “Hi, Heather, I didn’t know you were here.” That
was a true statement. I didn’t know she was here before I overheard their
conversation. Heather just gave me a half wave with her back still turned to
me. Ashley glared at her. “Um, did I interrupt anything?”