Claimed By Chaos (36 page)

Chapter 67

Alastair paced in the sitting room as he waited for Giselle. He felt like one large, raw nerve. He’d been tempted to darken the room but he needed to see her, even if his eyes hurt. His skin stung, he’d taken two baths and scrubbed as hard as he could. It was as if he thought he could pull the madness that had followed him from prison from his body, through his skin. And then there was the filth. Once he was back in his home, among his things, his mind started to return and he could feel the dirt, sweat and other unmentionable substances on his flesh. The razor on his face had felt like flame but he felt more solid once his face was smooth and his hair was cut and styled in its usual manner.

As he stood before the mirror, waiting for his body to recover from the effects of new, crisp, heavy clothes against his skin, Alastair felt himself anchor within his body. The only thing that couldn’t be restored or recovered that evening was his weight. That would take time. Until he filled out, he would have to cope with his overactive nerves. Being thinner and weaker made his body even more sensitive. It was as if he had only a sheer film covering his insides and everything was brighter, louder and harder around him.

He heard movement behind him and he turned. Alastair saw Giselle in the doorway and his heart started to pound faster. He thought he was prepared to face her, he promised Gilles he was ready when he questioned him at the door but as his eyes swept over her, he wasn’t sure.

Giselle looked unsure and a little afraid. Alastair cursed himself as he slowly crossed the room. He held out his hands and she hesitated as she reached for them with the hand that wasn’t in a sling. He towed her into the room and pulled her to the sofa with him. He stared at her hand. It was so delicate, the skin was tight and thin. The veins looked so dark against her translucent skin. It made his chest ache. Alastair swallowed his self loathing. He knew he'd done this to her but he had to hide his reaction. He needed to make her feel beautiful and help her heal. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it gently as his eyes found hers.

“I’m so sorry, my love. Before… I was out of my mind and I said… I did things I didn't mean.” He silently begged her forgiveness. Giselle’s eyes were so large and they were drowning in tears. She looked down.

“I know that I look frightful…” Alastair shook his head and started to interrupt her but she pressed her hand to his lips. He felt his body tighten and he held his breath. She smiled knowingly. “But you look bloody terrible, Alastair! And I can’t believe that that was you earlier!” She gasped. Alastair laughed as he carefully pulled her to him. He felt her arm around slide around his chest and he shut his eyes as she pulled him close. His body screamed at the contact but he ignored it as his soul sighed in relief. Her head rested on his shoulder and he heard her inhale. “I was so afraid that you would never come back. I kept telling myself you would come back for the baby but I was still so scared.” Giselle’s voice trembled and it made his eyes water. Alastair pulled back and looked down at her as he caressed her face.

“My body would hurt, I needed you so badly. There were nights I thought I would die, I begged and screamed for you. Not the baby. You, my love.” His voice broke and he felt tears burn his cheeks as he lowered his lips to hers.

Giselle moaned as she parted for him and he felt her press closer. Alastair groaned as his tongue slid into her mouth. She tasted sweet and crisp like he remembered but he also tasted salt from her tears. He angled his head and let her taste his need, his pain, his regret and his joy as he marveled in the soft warmth of her mouth. Giselle’s hand fisted in his coat and she whimpered. Alastair growled as his hands started exploring her back, arms, waist, shoulders… They slid up her neck and he was about to pull her hair down so he could feel it in his hands and bury his face in it when he heard Gilles clear his throat. He shook his head furiously as he pulled Giselle close again and shut his eyes.

“Please, not yet. Give us a little more time. Please.” Alastair begged. When he looked back at the door, Gilles wasn’t alone. Maman was with him and he could see that someone was behind them. Gilles shook his head.

“Our old Latin tutor loaned us his favorite bishop but I’m afraid his time is limited.” He stepped aside and a tall, bespectacled man stepped forward cautiously. Alastair felt his heart start to beat wildly. He was afraid to look at Giselle. If she was still unsure or just refused, he didn’t think he’d ever recover. When he finally let his eyes seek hers she was smiling softly and she nodded enthusiastically. Alastair felt lightheaded and he didn’t bother to hide his joy. He laughed as he cradled her face and kissed her.

“Alastair!” Maman scolded. He didn’t care. When he lifted his head he stared down at Giselle.

“I love you so much!” His voice was weak and hoarse. She laughed as she pressed her lips to his.

“I love you too!” She whispered.

An hour later, Alastair couldn’t take his eyes off of his wife. There were seven other people at the table but all he saw was Giselle. The bishop had remained to dine with them but he couldn't recall what his name was. The conversation flowed around him and he didn’t bother to follow along. He watched every bite and every sip, every smile and every laugh closely, her lips were a miracle. If the table hadn’t been between them and if he hadn’t been desperate to see her eating, Alastair wouldn’t have been able to keep his hands and mouth off of Giselle.

She was his. He was hers. He had to cough every few minutes to cover the swell of emotion that would pull at his throat. The urge to laugh and cry was so strong, his hands would shake. When Giselle’s eyes would touch Alastair’s, his heart would start to pound so loud he couldn’t hear anything else.

Alastair was a wreck by the time dinner was done. As Gilles had predicted, Maman sat next to him and heaped serving after serving on his plate until he begged her to stop. He’d dutifully eaten as much as he could but it all tasted like sawdust. He needed to taste Giselle. As much as he missed the family, he needed to be alone with her.

He was already planning their exit when the family moved to the sitting room. Alastair was afraid he was running out of time, his control was almost gone and at any moment he could start crying or laughing or mauling his wife.
My wife!
He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. He was about to tell everyone he was taking Giselle home when he realized he’d overlooked something important. He turned to Gilles.

“Could I have a word with you, in your study?” Alastair asked. Gilles nodded and gestured across the hall. Once they were behind closed doors, Alastair sat across from Gilles at his desk.

“What is it?” Gilles asked as he studied Alastair’s face.

“I’d like to buy Cambroke House. Burton Place won’t do, obviously.” He frowned when Gilles shook his head.

“I’m not going to sell you Cambroke House.” Gilles opened a drawer, pulled out a document and came around the desk. He set it before Alastair and leaned against the desk. He pointed to the bottom of the page. “Sign that.” Alastair looked up in confusion.

“What is this?” He asked before he looked down at the words in front of him.

“I’m giving you Cambroke House and Elise is giving you Harwood Grange.” Gilles said firmly. Alastair shook his head as he sat back and looked up at his brother.

“No. That’s too generous. I’ll pay you for both properties.” He insisted. Gilles crossed his arms and looked severe.

“We don’t want your money. Besides, the last time I was in Cambroke House was over ten years ago. It needed a lot of work then, it’s probably a shambles now. It may cost you more than it’s worth in the end.” He smiled as he nodded toward the contract. “Elise will never step foot in Harwood Grange and she wants you and Giselle to be close to us.” Alastair was overcome again. He had to look down until his emotions settled. Gilles gripped his shoulder affectionately and Alastair had to breathe through the painful tingling that shot through his arm. Gilles noticed and frowned. “Are you alright?” He asked softly. Alastair nodded.

“I am. Thank you.” He wasn’t referring to Gilles’ concern. “For everything.” He said softly. Gilles grinned as he stood and went to the sideboard.

“Sign the damned thing, then!” He said as he poured two brandies. “I can’t tell you how relieved I’ll be to see the two of you settled and know that Cambroke House is finally being put to use.” He waited until Alastair signed and then handed him his drink. Alastair nodded as he swallowed the first sip.

“God. That’s good.” He sighed as warmth spread through his body. He looked at Gilles. “What do you want me to do with Burton Place?” He took another long swallow and shut his eyes. He’d have to leave soon. The brandy was already making his limbs feel loose and he’d be drowsy, yet another drawback to the weight loss. When Alastair opened his eyes Gilles was rubbing his jaw thoughtfully.

“I think you should rent it out until our sons are old enough to use it as bachelor’s lodgings.” He suggested. Alastair couldn’t stop the dazed grin that filled his face. The idea of their sons together, in their old home made him absurdly happy.

“That’s a wonderful idea.” He said as he drained his glass and stood. He reached for Gilles and pulled him into a firm embrace. It made him dizzy as the contact assaulted his nerves but he held his brother tight. Gilles wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close for several moments. Alastair stepped back and pointed at his nose. “And thank you for this. I needed it.” Gilles laughed as he grabbed Alastair’s jaw and turned his face as he examined his work.

“Any time.” He teased. “It looks like it shouldn’t be too crooked when it heals.” He released him and patted his back as they moved toward the door. Alastair chuckled.

“I need to get home before I’m drunk. That brandy is catching up to me quickly.” He admitted.

Chapter 69

She had only come through the front door of Burton Place one other time. Giselle felt giddy as Briarly bowed to her.

“Welcome back, my lady.” The butler’s eyes twinkled as they met hers. “May I say, it pleases me tremendously to congratulate the two of you on your marriage.” Briarly’s voice was warm and soft as he looked from Alastair to Giselle.

“Thank you, Briarly.” Alastair said as he pressed the older man’s arm and smiled. “We’ll be moving soon, you’ll have to get used to running a much bigger house.” He said as he took Giselle’s hand and pulled her toward the stairs.

“Certainly, sir.” Briarly said as he hung their coats. “Will you be needing anything else this evening?” Alastair shook his head but Giselle knew his mind was no longer on the butler. She felt goosebumps spread as he guided her up the steps.

Once the bedroom door was closed, Alastair’s hands were everywhere, swiftly unbuttoning, untying and tugging at Giselle’s clothes until she was naked before him. His eyes closed briefly and she knew he was hiding his reaction to her body. She avoided the mirror, she didn’t need to see that her ribs pressed through her skin or that the knots of her spine marched angrily down her back. She was already aware of how huge the bones of her shoulders and collar bone appeared and that her arms looked sharp and brittle. Alastair opened his eyes and he must have sensed her discomfort. He raised her chin and traced her lips with his thumb.

“You’re still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. All I see right now is how I’ve failed you.” He lowered his head and pressed his forehead to hers. “I will never leave you again.” He vowed.

Giselle felt a wave of relief and joy wash over her. She sighed in delight when she felt Alastair’s hands slide down her neck and then her body. She shut her eyes and made his hands upon her skin her entire world. She existed for the pressure of his fingertips as he became urgent. Giselle let her head fall back and she hissed when his tongue pressed against her neck. A moan escaped her throat as she became heavy and damp between her thighs. It felt as if her body was awakening, coming alive after being dormant and cold.

Need exploded within her and she clawed at Alastair as she pressed herself against him. Giselle tugged at his coat and cravat. She rose on her toes and slid her lips along his neck and jaw as she sought his mouth. He lowered his head and growled as she fisted her hand in his hair and licked his lips greedily. He tasted like brandy and need as her tongue tangled with his. Giselle felt tears sting her eyes as she recalled all the times she’d kissed him. The taste of chocolate, under the tree by the swing, in his carriage, the library downstairs… memories bombarded her as she fought against his clothing.

“I need to feel you. All of you. Please, Alastair!” She Giselle begged as she looked up at him. “I promise, I’ll be careful and we can go as slow as you need but I need to touch all of you and feel all of you touching all of me.” She whimpered as she worked at the buttons of his waistcoat. He laughed softly, possibly because he sensed her frustration as she attacked his buttons with one hand. Alastair took her hand and raised it to his lips.

“All of me belongs to you, mademoiselle. You may do whatever you wish.” He promised against her knuckles. Giselle shivered as he turned her hand and ran his tongue from her wrist to the inside of her elbow. He released her and reached for the lapels of his coat and shook it off. He tossed it at the chair and her eyes became wide. His waistcoat followed. Then, his cravat and shirt. He stepped back as he sat to remove his shoes and stockings but Giselle stayed close and feathered her fingers through his hair and he shivered. She couldn’t break the contact and gently stroked his chest as he stood and worked at the buttons of his trousers. She gasped when he let them fall and kicked them at the chair.

“You’re not going to fold anything?” Giselle’s surprised whisper had him smiling. Alastair shook his head as he looked down at her.

“Later. Maybe.” He said softly as he stepped close. He took her hand and pressed it to his chest. His eyes shut and his jaw twitched before he sent it gliding around his waist. Giselle let it slowly reach behind him as she let her body settle delicately against his. She felt a tremor pass through him and she carefully pressed her cheek against his chest. He sighed and his arms closed around her. His hand slid into her hair and she felt the tightness against her scalp release as pins fell. His fingers sifted through her tresses and massaged as he pressed her against him. She moaned rapturously then raised her head and let her eyes travel over his body.

Alastair was angular, his entire body was bones, sinews and tight muscles. The hollows were so deep and defined, Giselle had to swallow a sob as her eyes swept down his legs. He’d been so muscular and potent before, now he looked frail and reedy, as if he had been formed from twisted branches. She looked up and found him watching her. Her lip trembled.

“What have you done to yourself?” Her voice was thin and rough. Alastair smiled wryly.

“Only what I deserved. Don’t worry, it will only take a month or so for me to regain the weight.” He assured her as he backed her toward the bed. Giselle frowned up at him.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re speaking from experience?” She narrowed her eyes at him. He shrugged before he lowered his lips to hers.

“There were times when I found myself too far from civilization and without resources.” He murmured as his hands pulled her against him and lifted as he leaned toward the bed. Giselle wrapped herself around him as he crawled to the pillows. She shook her head as she stared up at him.

“No more, Alastair. If I have to be domestic and safe, then you do too.” She scolded. “You can’t disappear to China or Scotland or God knows where and hurt yourself anymore. I need you. This baby needs you.” Giselle waited for Alastair to nod in agreement.

“I will never leave you again. I will always be here for you and any children we have.” He swore. “I don’t need to go anywhere if I have you. Nothing could fascinate me more or draw me away. You’re all I need. Nothing else matters.” His mouth fell upon hers and his tongue surged in.

Giselle lost touch with the world as his hands and mouth claimed her. Alastair was everywhere. He turned, lifted and spread her so that he could touch, lick and probe. He was desperate as he lapped at her womanhood, his fingers and tongue stroked and suckled until she was mindless and shattered against his mouth. She sobbed his name as he drank her release until she was boneless and weak.

Her heart burst within her chest as Alastair rose above her and she felt his erection pushing into her. Giselle pulled him in with her arms and legs as she arched and clung. He whispered her name over and over as he grabbed at her flesh and drove within her. His thrusts were slow, deep and relentless. It took only minutes before she felt her body coil, clench and then explode. Alastair never stopped. His hips kept crashing into her as his mouth bathed her neck and shoulders.

Then, he became frantic, arching away from her and gasping. She felt him fighting, helpless to stop his body as it rode her deeper and harder. Giselle was powerless, her hand pressed against his shoulder and grabbed at his arm weakly as her back lifted from the mattress in ecstasy as he rolled his hips and thrust into her core.

“It’s too much!” Alastair gasped as his hands closed around her bottom and tilted her. He threw his head back and screamed and Giselle saw stars as her body froze. She felt him thrust jerkily a few more times just before light burst within her. He sobbed and clawed as heat flooded her. Alastair threw his head back and the muscles in his neck strained as he convulsed in her arms.

The room spun away and Giselle closed her eyes as she waited for the thundering within her chest to subside. She felt a weight upon her as she was pushed into the mattress and her mind told her it was Alastair. He was still there. She blinked and breathed until she could feel her limbs. Giselle carefully wrapped her arms around him and he groaned in approval. She felt his lips press against her shoulder and she purred.

“I should move.” Alastair mumbled against her skin. Giselle growled as she held him tight. She felt warm and comfortable.

“No.” She demanded. He took a deep breath and melted against her.

Alastair was still for several moments before he groaned and pushed off of her. She tried to hold him to her but he rolled easily and pulled her on top of him.

“Isn’t this better?” He murmured as his face pressed into her hair.

Giselle considered fussing but decided to make the best of it and draped herself over him, molding her body to his as he gently stroked her back. She breathed him in and felt her insides quake. Nothing could smell better than Alastair in bed.

“I don’t need a bigger house.” She whispered against his skin. “All I need is a bed and you.” Her body felt heavy and relaxed. His chest began to shake and she lifted her head and looked up at him.

“I think that anything involving the two of us and a bed has the potential to become very crowded. We’ll need quite a bit of room if our children are anything like you. I expect our household to be rather chaotic.” Alastair rubbed a handful of her hair against his cheek. Giselle frowned as she considered his prediction.

“Does that worry you? I remember that you said you had order and peace before me.” When she imagined their children she felt incredible joy and excitement but what if they became too overwhelming for him once they were running and yelling through the house? His hands cradled her face and she looked up at him. The boyish grin that curved his lips made her stomach flip.

“You forget my upbringing, my love.” Alastair said softly. “The best parts of my childhood were loud and destructive. I want that for our children. I would be a fool to marry you and not expect madness. I feel blessed to be the one to embrace this chaos.” He ducked his head and kissed her gently.

Giselle was on the verge of sliding her body against his and demanding more when his head snapped back and he yawned. It was contagious. She felt her mouth stretch and her eyes wanted to close. Alastair pulled the covers over them and his arms locked her against him. She smiled drowsily as she became completely relaxed and content. He sighed and yawned again.

“I could never understand why a man would want a woman, of all things, in his personal domain. Now, it seems like the most decadent privilege, getting to fall asleep with you in my bed and keep you here for as long as we wish.” His voice became deep and slow and it made Giselle warm. “I think I’m going to sleep for several hours, make love to you when I wake up and then sleep some more.” He mumbled.

“I like that plan.” She sighed just before she drifted off.

They slept for several hours, made love and then slept for several hours more.