“But...”
“But what? What evidence did I have? What difference would it have made in the long run besides my personal life being illuminated? I had no idea who the heck any of those guys were, and not a clue where to begin.” She sighed. “It made no sense to report it, there were far too many things against me. What, you think I don’t know? You think I’m not aware of how they handle cases like these? As in hardly at all? Maria, they don’t even take white girls seriously most of the time. Do you honestly think a black girl would have a chance? I mean maybe, just maybe if a black guy was involved they’d jump at the chance to throw him in jail but no—I had to be victimized by white guys. Faceless ones. Maria, be realistic—nobody cares about us like that. What
I
don’t understand is what I did to deserve it. I was a good girl, a quiet girl. I never did anything to anybody! And I wasn’t careless, although there are some things I could have done differently. But most of all, I thought I was invisible—who would see me and choose me for such an act? What did I do wrong?”
Maria was silent for a few moments. Then she said:
“Do you know Sarah Landon’s daughter is three now? She still has no idea who did it, but she has genetic proof. Hopefully, she gets lucky.” She looked at Sydney. “That same guy might have been involved.”
“Yes, I think he was. But you know what else? Sarah had no clue who raped her. I heard them Maria—they each got different girls. One said he got Sarah, and the other one was supposed to get a girl named Mary...”
Dark clouds gathered on Maria’s face.
“I forgot I had to do something,” she said suddenly and mysteriously as she got up. “We’ll talk about this later. We’ve got business to take care of.”
“What do you mean?”
“I might be able to help find out who did this to you Sydney. You and Sarah.”
“But how?”
Maria put her finger to her lips, her eyes still raging, her mouth tight. Sydney was almost frightened by her odd, restrained anger.
PART TWO: FATAL MISTAKES
“You’ll never improve a man by repelling him, especially a boy.”
—Fyodor Dostoevsky,
Crime and Punishment
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
On the last official day of school, Maria dragged Sydney to the art building to see the results of her Photography final.
“I’ve never been to the art building before,” Sydney said, taking in the statues and paintings along the way. “I’m glad I finally made it.”
They went down a long corridor, made a few turns, then finally came to a stop.
“There it is hon!” Maria said, pointing to the wall.
Sydney stared, looking shocked.
Maria mentally patted herself on the back for having successfully hidden the project from Sydney.
Sydney crossed over and studied the ten black and white photos forming Maria’s photo-essay.
“I call it
Metamorphosis
.” She held up her hands in defense. “Not the most original title, I know—but most fitting.”
Sydney got closer to the photos and touched the first one, as if making sure they were real.
The photos were all of Sydney—the first of her with glasses on, hair pulled back into a French braid, wearing a T-shirt and jeans as she stood outside the cafeteria, her hand pushing the camera away. The next was from the same day, with Sydney looking directly into the lens, an admonishing look on her face. The third was Sydney in their dorm room, hands on her hips, looking sternly at the camera. She was still wearing glasses but her hair was thick and puffy, somewhat straighter after Maria’s blow-drying. In the next photo Sydney’s hair had been fully straightened once Maria had flat-ironed it. A photo from that same day showed Sydney after she pulled her flattened hair into a ponytail. The following photo was a clear picture of Sydney’s face without her glasses, right before they started to get ready for Sydney’s first party. Then a magazine picture-perfect photo of Sydney once they were dressed, straightened hair in waves, black pants, a revealing yet tasteful top, make-up, hanging earrings, no glasses. She was posing sheepishly, looking insecure. Next up was Sydney posing boldly for Maria for the end-of-term party—tight white pants on her small frame, another sexy top, her curly hair pulled up and left in a long thick ponytail, soft tendrils framing her face. Then Sydney’s face, alive with laughter and joy, her hair dancing around her, after they had left the dance floor with the Dhalton boys. The photo-essay ended with Sydney resembling how she looked in the beginning: wearing her glasses, her curly hair pulled back into a ponytail, but her face seemed lit from within.
“So it’s pretty obviously a metamorphosis on a couple of levels,” Maria said, “but I guess not so obvious, is that although it looks like it’s totally about you, it’s partly about me, realizing how beautiful you were all along, as you were.”
“These are great,” Sydney said, looking awed, her eyes taking in the captures.
“I know, I rock. I think I’m going to be a photographer—maybe even a photojournalist. I like people, I like taking pictures, and I like taking pictures of people.” She smiled. “I think everything’s falling into place.”
It wasn’t quite the whole truth, but Maria felt no guilt about not telling Sydney all of it.
After she and Sydney parted ways, she went back to thinking about her and Eddie. The two of them hadn’t sorted out what they were going to do about their relationship just yet, and he was about to graduate and leave the state. She wanted to make sure they were on the same page; after all, she still had a year left—they would have to have a long-distance relationship for a year. And then what?
She had tried to get Eddie to talk about it before but he was so adept at avoiding the subject. She didn’t assume he was deliberately avoiding talking about it—he was just really busy at this point, preparing and confirming his plans as he got ready to move on.
It seemed Lady Luck was on her side because as she was strolling about, thinking about him, she spotted Eddie leaving one of the classroom buildings.
She rushed up to him.
“So we haven’t really talked about what we’re going to do when you graduate,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
He sounded distracted.
“What do you mean what do I mean? How often are we going to see each other, do we plan to even still date each other?” She smiled, half-joking.
“Oh, yeah. Right. Would you mind if we talk about this later?”
Maria’s shoulders slumped.
“You keep saying that! Do you want to wait until you’re gone?”
“Look Maria, please don’t pressure me about this now. I said we’ll discuss it later, so we’ll discuss it later. Stop nagging me about it.”
“Nagging you?” she replied, halting her steps. She shook her head in frustration and quickly walked away in the opposite direction.
***
Edward didn’t know what to do. He knew he had angered Maria, but he also didn’t want to face the decision he had made. As much as he wanted to keep seeing Maria it was best—safer—not to.
He had turned away, but now he was watching Maria without making it obvious. He saw her head toward the art building, her head down, and felt his heart warming. She looked so dejected, but even in her sadness she was beautiful. He thought about her myriad talents and his heart swelled further. She was also wearing his favorite shorts.
He felt an almost irresistible urge to go to her and apologize, allowing them to talk about what she so desperately wanted to talk about, but just as his legs started to propel him toward her before he even realized it, he saw her beeline toward the art building halted as some random guy stopped her.
Edward watched her grin up at him, flipping her hair over her shoulder, smiling at him as if he were her favorite person in the world. She tapped his arm as their conversation ended, then turned away. Then he saw the bastard look back and take a look at her ass as she entered the building, oblivious, and he knew what he had to do.
Edward headed back home where he met Nicholas studying as he walked in.
“Whoa—miracles do happen I see,” he said to Nicholas, fighting against the last remnants of his anger.
His mood improved when he saw Nicholas scowl at his joke.
“Whatever Ed. I figured since I won’t be in the family business, I better make sure I know something by the time I get outta here.”
“Yeah sure—you’re just trying to impress Sydney I bet. Hey, speaking of family, we’re going home this summer then?”
Nicholas appeared to think about it for a moment.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Edward smiled.
“Aw, my little Nicky is growing up! I’m proud of you man.” He paused. “So you’ve forgiven mom?”
Nicholas looked up at him as if he had announced he was pregnant.
“Who said anything about forgiving her? Eddie, I don’t think I can ever forgive her for what she did to us.”
Eddie sighed.
“Nicholas, it’s not that serious...”
“Are you kidding me? Maybe it meant nothing to you but to me, it meant the world.”
Edward stayed silent for a moment, taking in his brother’s words. He didn’t mean to belittle his brother’s feelings but he really didn’t want to place more significance on their experience than was productive.
“All right Nicholas, whatever. And speaking of something that means the world to you, are sure you wanna go on with this Sydney thing?”
Nicholas’s eyebrows came together.
“What do you mean?”
Edward thought carefully about his next words.
“I mean, I’m sure she was a nice distraction and all, but is this the one you want to take home to mother?”
“Of course she is! Why not? What, you think because she’s black...”
“I’m just saying, Nicholas. Mother won’t approve, you know that. And if pops was around, I’m sure he wouldn’t either. Just be careful is all I’m saying.”
“Look, Sydney and I have enough pressure from the outside. You’re giving us shit too?”
“Nick, I’m always on your side, don’t ever doubt it. I just want you to think carefully about this, think about what’s at stake.”
“And what could possibly be more at stake Ed? I’d lose more if I lost her—she’s everything to me right now.”
“Are you sure? Because you better be. Don’t expect your relationship with Sydney to be intact once mother gets done with her.”
“Eddie, I think Sydney’s the one, so I’m not gonna let anything you or Evelyn has to say get in the way of that.”
Nicholas grabbed his books and looked like he was about to head upstairs.
“For your sake, I hope so bro,” Edward said.
Suddenly, Nicholas turned back around. Some of the anger appeared to have leaked out of him.
“Well what about you and Maria? She’s not exactly the Duchess of Cambridge either.”
Edward just looked at him. He figured his expression must have tipped Nicholas off because Nicholas turned fully toward him and looked like he was about to put his book back down. His voice was also more gentle as he spoke.
“Is something wrong Ed? You and Maria having problems?”
Edward looked away for a moment, then back at his brother whose eyebrows had come together in speculation.
“Something like that,” he replied.
***
Sydney picked up the ringing phone.
“Hi babe—is Maria around?” Nicholas asked.
Sydney looked at Maria who was busy crocheting on her bed.
“Yeah, she’s right here,” Sydney said into the phone. Maria looked up at her then, her fingers still working the needles.
“Leave the room. I have something to tell you.”
Nicholas’s words confused her, but she followed his instructions anyway, hoping that Maria interpreted it as courtesy, being spared the noise of a one-sided conversation.
“Okay, the coast is clear. What’s with the secrecy?” she asked.
“Well, we’re having a little get-together at our place for Eddie to celebrate his graduation. I’ll be there obviously—will you come with me?”
“Of course! What time should we show up?”
“Oh, we’ll get there early, probably at seven. I’ll come pick you up and...”
“Maria can ride with us too right?”
Nicholas didn’t answer immediately. Then he said:
“I’m not sure if Maria wants to...”
“Of course she’ll want to—she’s his girlfriend!”
Her chuckle was followed by a long pause.
Amusement left her.
“No, I meant...I don’t know if he’d want her there,” Nicholas said.
“What do you mean? Of course he would—even if they’ve been fighting. Why wouldn’t he?”
Nicholas cleared his throat.
“Well, Sydney...God I don’t know how to tell you this but...”
Sydney felt the beginnings of anger.
“Is he cheating on her?”
“No, I wouldn’t say cheating, but he has, kind of, moved on.”
Sydney processed the news for a few seconds.
“Does Maria know this?” she asked.
Nicholas cleared his throat again.
“Not really,” he said.
Sydney stayed silent.
“Come on Sydney. You’re not mad at me are you? What was I supposed to do?”
“You could have...!” she began in a burst but ended in short, heavy breaths. Then her breathing slowly returned to normal.
“This isn’t fair to her Nicholas—this isn’t right.”
“I know Syd, I’m sorry. My brother’s a jerk. I just didn’t know what to do, you know? He’s my brother, I couldn’t rat him out. He was all I had growing up.”
She sighed.
“Poor Maria,” she said.
“Yeah, I know.”
Sydney reentered her dorm and looked right into Maria’s questioning eyes.
Sydney knew she had to tell her what was going down, and Maria reacted just as she expected her to.
“That son-of-a-bitch is not going to get away with this,” Maria hissed. “How dare he? Who does that?”
Sydney looked away.
“I’m sorry Maria.”
She could see Maria looking pointedly at her from the corner of her eye.
“Do you have to go to this?” Maria asked.
“Come on—you know I do. For Nicholas.”
“Yeah I know,” Maria replied, folding her arms. “I’m sorry I asked, that wasn’t fair.” She shook her head. “God how could he do this to me?”
“I don’t understand it either M.”
Sydney watched Maria look off into space, then could practically see the wheels turning.
“No Maria, whatever you’re thinking.”
Maria’s eyes shifted to her.
“I’m serious Maria, no.”
“No what? I’m not doing anything,” she said.
“Okay, what are you thinking about then?”
Maria took a few seconds to answer.
“I’m going to that party,” she said.
Sydney shook her head.
“Not a good idea Maria...”
“Don’t worry, I won’t go with you guys. I’ll show up later.”
Her smile was plastered on.
***
Sydney tried to ignore Edward and his bimbo.
She had never seen the girl before and was sorry she had to see her now.
When she first entered the apartment, she congratulated Edward politely, and his eyes had shifted to the side as he introduced the blond girl to Sydney.
Sydney didn’t offer her hand, giving her a light smile instead. Then she tried to concentrate only on Nicholas.
Things went well until Maria entered just as the blond reached up and whispered something in Edward’s ear, causing him to smile widely.
Maria made her way over to them.
“Hello Edward,” Maria said in a voice of feigned casualness once she had reached them.
The blond looked at her in disdain.
“Hey Maria,” he replied, as if nothing was wrong with the picture, but his eyes told a different story, reflecting a slight guilt at what was obviously hurt in Maria’s eyes.
“Oh, hello bitch,” the blond said sweetly, breaking into a disingenuous grin. “I don’t believe we’ve met—I’m Edward’s girlfriend, Cindy, and have been for the past two years. I believe you are...another of his conquests?” Her smile remained plastered on her face. “I think I might have glimpsed you at the Halloween party last year. As you can see darling, my Eddie always comes home to roost.” She dismissed Maria with a goodbye wave and a “nice to meet you!”
Maria turned away.
Sydney could see the beginning of tears in her eyes.
Sydney watched her friend storm out, then went after her, Nicholas on her heels.
Maria had clearly gotten more than she had bargained for.