Choices will Destroy (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 14) (47 page)

When the phone rang, she was the first to grab it. In the middle of the night, it usually meant a dead body. As she hit the glowing button, her brain was cloudy.

“Director Blackhawk. Someone better be dead, or you’re going to be bleeding when I get finished with you,” she muttered, pulling her exhausted body upright. It took all she had.

“Elizabeth?”

Immediately, she recognized the voice.

Her stomach knotted.

“Cyra? Are you okay? Is Bethe okay?”

“Yes, we are.”

That meant one thing.

“Jesus! Is Chris okay? Has something happened to him?” Her heart started pounding in her chest. The worst scenarios began flooding her mind. They had a serial killer chasing them, and she immediately wanted to be sick.

If Chris was hurt…

Both men were staring at her in the darkened room.

“He’s not okay,” she whispered. “I’ve done something horrible, and I don’t know what to do.”

Cyra kept her voice low, in case he headed down the hall. Now she had to hope the woman on the other end would forgive her.

She knew she didn't deserve it.

For over a year, she’d marked Elizabeth as the enemy, and she’d been wrong. Cyra had looked at this all the wrong way. Elizabeth was more like a sister-in-law.

“What did you do? Did you kill him?”

She was horrified that she had to go there, but that’s all she could think.

“In a way, yes. Yesterday, I killed his heart. I told him if he didn't leave the FBI, I couldn’t stay married to him. Only, now I realize he’s leaving me in another way. He’s pulling away from our marriage. He’s asleep in that old sports car of his, and he won’t come upstairs.”

Elizabeth knew that was significant. She recalled that car. They’d had fun in it. In fact, she’d taught him to drive it like he had stolen it.

She put the phone on speaker.

Immediately, her heart slowed down.

“Why did you tell him you were going to leave him?” she asked, not getting it. Chris was pretty easy going, and Elizabeth knew he loved Cyra and Bethe.

If you looked up ‘dedicated husband’ in the dictionary, his picture was right there next to Callen and Ethan’s.

Cyra didn't speak at first.

“You called me, darlin’, not the other way around. It’s best you get this off your chest.”

She was right.

“I was jealous. I was upset and I thought that he loved his job, you, and Tony more than me, but I was wrong. He quit, and it’s killing him. You have to get him to come back to work.”

She listened.

This freaked her out.

It reminded her of the Desdemona debacle. She’d let the woman into her life, and Callen paid for it. So, this time, she didn't let Cyra all the way in, and Chris was paying for it.

Either way, it appeared to be a no win situation for Elizabeth, and it sucked.

“You realize that I have no romantic attachment to your husband, right? I love Chris, but he’s like my brother. I’d give him a fucking kidney, but I wouldn’t ever behave inappropriately with him.”

Ethan touched her arm. He could hear the anger in her voice. He wasn’t shocked. Elizabeth didn't like when people played games, especially with the people she loved.

Cyra sniffled from the other end of the call. “I really believed that there was something there, but now I know there wasn’t. I was wrong, Elizabeth. I’m sorry. I judged you, and I owe you an apology.”

She wanted to tear the woman a new one. She’d dicked Chris around, and that was unacceptable.

“Cyra, for the record, I’ve never had sex with your husband, and had you come to me, I would have told you as much. In fact, I’m happily married. I don’t cheat. I love your husband, but just not like that.”

“I know that now. It was irrational. I thought that I could make him spend more time with me. I thought I could change him, but I can’t. I need you to forgive me.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I don’t hate you, Cyra. It’s okay. We’ll work this out.”

“I know I don’t deserve that, but I need him to be okay. I don’t want my husband to hate me, and right now, he does.”

“He doesn’t, Cyra. Chris doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He’s the poster boy for gentleman.”

Elizabeth wanted to point out that she should know that since she was married to him, but that was probably the lack of sleep, pregnancy hormones, and stress talking.

She was cranky.

“You have to get him to come back. He’s not able to function without his job. It is part of him. I ripped it out of him, and he’s dying over it.”

She got it.

After all, if you did that to her, she’d fail too. Being a Fed wasn’t a job to most of them. It was a calling. To stand in the gore and guts all day long…it took a special kind of person. Either you were born to be a Fed, or you weren’t.

There were no shades in between.

It was painful when she went on maternity leave, let alone walking away forever?

She couldn’t do it.

You attached yourself to the people you worked with because it was a coping mechanism.

Chris was bonded to her.

She was bonded to him.

They were both bonded to Tony.

It’s just how it was. Like ducks, they imprinted on each other for the rest of their lives. They were forged in death, pain, and destruction.

“Take him back.”

“Cyra,” she began.

“Please. He’s drinking scotch, sitting in an old car, and staring at pictures of you and Tony. He’s depressed, and I caused this. I’m smart enough to know that I screwed up, and to see that he’s going to resent me when this is all done.”

“I’ll text him now, and I’ll call him later. I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’m really sorry. I can’t tell you how horrible I feel that I thought ill of you. I just freaked out. I thought awful things, and it wasn’t fair to you or him. Please save my husband, Elizabeth. Please.”

Callen brushed a few strands of hair off her face. He was watching her. She’d offered Desdemona friendship and paid dearly because of it. Now she had that choice again.

“Can I be honest?” she said.

Cyra was surprised. “Yes. Please.”

“I’ve kept things from you too.”

“You have?”

“Yes. It’s not because I want to sleep with Chris, or because you own his heart and I’m jealous, but because I’ve wanted you to like me. I've wanted you to be my friend for a long time, and I didn't know how to make you see I’m not after your man. I don’t trust easily, Cyra. I’ve been burned, but I swear to you that I’m not trying to get into your husband’s pants.”

Cyra began crying. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn't like you.”

“It’s okay. I’m not the easiest person to love.”

She looked over at the men in her life. She knew they were going to support her choices, and that was true love.

“I don’t have ulterior motives, but I do have a history with Christopher. I’m just trying to stay in his heart because we have a past. He kept me sane when my world fell apart. When I was shot, he held my hand when no one else cared to be at my bedside. Chris has always had my back, and I will always have his. That’s not lust. It’s simply love. I adore Chris because he put his career on the line and kept his word. We aren’t ever going to cheat on our spouses. We’re above sex. We’re best friends.”

There was a sob. “I want to be your friend. Can we try? I really want to try. I know I can’t talk shop, but I can talk shoes. You’re a girl. You have to like shoes.”

She laughed.

This was a risk, but for Chris, she’d take it.

“I do love shoes. How about as soon as I’m home, we dump the men and kids, get pedicures, and buy some sexy heels to make our guys drool?”

Cyra laughed for the first time since Chris came home. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll fix Chris in the morning—just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid until I can get back there, okay? I’m a little busy with a nutjob.”

“I can do that. Thank you, Elizabeth.”

“Call me Lyzee. All my friends do.”

“Thank you, Lyzee.”

She hung up.

Elizabeth let out the breath she was holding. Now came the hard part. She had to save her friend and navigate them all through this.

Crap!

This is exactly why she never wanted to make lasting attachments. Before you knew it, you had a whole shitload of people to take care of in life.

Who had time for that?

“That took courage,” Ethan said.

“You’ve got a brass set,” Callen added. He knew how hard that was for her. Desdemona damaged them all.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asked.

“I have to hire Chris back.”

“Okay,” they said together.

“We’re leaving.”

“He’ll probably follow you. Chris worked here. He liked it, until you left.”

“Tony is going to follow, you know he will. There are more universities out here, and that’s Jaxon’s passion. He’ll jump at the chance to put her in academia and out of harm’s way.”

“Yeah, and?”

Did they really not see the predicament this made? She stared at the men in her life.

“Where’s Cyra’s family?”

“In Damascus…”

Ethan got it.

Callen was right behind.

“By fixing him, I’m breaking her. I’m not being her friend. I’m going to make her hurt even more. He’s going to follow us here, forcing her into more isolation. Who do you think is going to get blamed for that? Let me give you a hint. It’s never the husband. It’s always the spare woman in the picture.”

“Oh, Lyzee,” Ethan said.

Callen knew what was happening next.

“We’re not leaving, are we?”

She closed her eyes and couldn’t even answer them. She had to make a choice—their happiness or a man who couldn’t live without their friendship.

Yeah.

This absolutely sucked.

Chapter Thirteen

Thursday Morning

When he woke, his back and neck were stiff from sleeping in a cold garage in the middle of winter. In fact, his fingers and toes were chilly.

It was time to get inside.

Heading in, the house was silent.

Cyra and Bethe must still be asleep. A part of him was glad. The last thing he wanted was a confrontation. Deep down, he hated arguing. It wasn’t his thing. So instead, he crept though his own house, to get to his office, so he could escape.

It pissed him off.

How was he supposed to do this for the rest of his life?

Bethe would grow up one day, and she would leave to start her own career and life.

Then where would he be?

Sitting in the house?

Traveling the world to see things he never wanted to see?

It sucked.

Where was the purpose in it all?

As he snuck into his office, Chris locked the door. This room was the only place where he could hide without confrontation. He was ashamed that he was doing it in the first place, but his hands were tied.

As he sat in his chair, he swiped the screen of his phone, only to see that he had text waiting for him.

It was from Elizabeth.

‘I miss you. You’re making a huge mistake. Come back. I need you on our team.’

Oh, he was well aware, but what could he do? Chris had been given an ultimatum. It was his wife or his job. There was no way he was coming out the winner.

How would he sleep at night if he didn't choose Cyra over the dead? What was even sadder was that he would never have picked work over her, until she told him he had to choose.

That made him want to do something spiteful.

It made him want to be mean, and that was never a good thing, and he knew it.

This was all his fault.

He’d been too weak to stand up to Cyra, calling her bluff. Chris suspected the cost would be too high. There was no way he could risk his daughter. He’d grown up without a father, and it wasn’t fun.

It sucked.

He wouldn’t do that to his child. He’d stick, even if it ate away at his soul. Chris would do anything for his child.

Anything.

So, he needed to be strong.

‘I miss you more than words will ever express, but I can’t come back. I have to do this for my family. Please don’t hate me.’

He sent the text.

It killed a little more of his already broken heart. Typing those words made him hate himself, and he was so ashamed of that.

Chris wanted to go back more than he wanted to breathe. He missed his best friend and the career they’d built together. It was them against the world, and now it felt like he was all alone.

His phone chimed.

He was almost afraid to read it.

It was getting harder and harder to stay away. Chris was beginning to wish that Elizabeth would show up at his door and drag him away. A part of him was praying Zane Legend would screw up, and they’d need his expertise. If that happened, he’d have an excuse to go back, even if just for a little while.

Then again, Chris knew that wasn’t going to happen. He trained the man.

His days at the FBI were over.

‘I spoke to Cyra last night. She made a mistake. She wants you to come back. I could never hate you, but I have to be honest with you. If you don’t have this part of your life, you’re going to resent your family—and lose it anyway. You’re a mess, Newton. It’s time to come home.’

He knew she’d always tell him the truth.

‘She spoke to you? This isn’t the time to screw with me. If you’re busting my ass, I may cry.’

He held his breath, hoping she wasn’t yanking his chain. Then again, he’d never do that to her. He had faith in Elizabeth. In all their years, she never asked him for anything. She’d taken him for who he was.

As he waited for the text, the call came. He fumbled with the phone, caught completely off guard.

“Hello?”

“Christopher, you’re giving me gray hair,” she said, thrilled to hear his voice. She didn't think he’d answer. Now she had to do what she’d promised.

“Elizabeth. God.”

“I need you to come back. You need us as much as we need you. We aren’t a team without you, Christopher. No offense to Doctor Legend, and his skill, but you know how to run it like we stole it.”

He laughed.

It was the first time in two days, and it felt good.

“You called my wife?”

“No, she called me and apologized. She told me she forced your hand. Did she?”

He knew they had made a promise a long time ago never to lie. “Yes. She told me to choose. I had no choice. I wanted to choose you and work, but I took a vow.”

“Darlin’, you don’t owe me any explanation. I understand. I have two men I love. I would have done the same thing, and I hope someone would have the sense to talk me off the stupid when I screwed up.”

He smiled into the phone. “Is this my talk?”

“Yes, it is. Come back. She gets it now. Cyra made a mistake. You need to forgive her and get your ass back to work. I’m up to my eyeballs in dead bodies, no clue what to do, and I’m off balance. I need you, Newton. Save my ass.”

He didn't know what to say.

This all seemed like a dream.

Elizabeth heard the worry.

“Cyra and I have a date when I get back, and I’m going to make sure she feels like she’s part of our circle. I’ll have some girly dates with her, and she’ll cut you a break.”

His heart skipped.

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

She laughed. “I’m going to woo your wife. How’s that for freaking ironic? Don’t blame me when she dumps you to ask me to marry her.”

Chris snorted. “I’d pay good money to see that. Can I watch when it happens?”

Elizabeth laughed. She needed that.

“Deal.”

“Can I come back?” he asked. “Is my positon still there? I know that Ginny began processing my termination paperwork. I turned in my badge and gun.”

“Yes, she began, but Ethan handled it. You know how he likes to control freak everyone’s lives. I do have bad news though.”

“What?”

“You quit. Now you come back as low man on the totem pole in the lab. Merry is your boss.”

Chris gasped in horror.

She laughed.

“Elizabeth! Don’t be a bitch!”

She was glad he was coming back. “I tell you what. Take today to spend it with your wife and child. Zane is here working, and we’re good. Tomorrow, I want you to head into FBI West. We’re short an ME with you taking a vacation. You can’t both be out here working, so you’ll have to link up via video conference. He’ll catch you back up.”

“I can’t believe Ethan didn't file my paperwork.”

She laughed. “Doc, you are on vacation time. I was going to give you a few days and kick your ass back to work.”

It wasn’t true, and they both knew it.

“I love you, Lyzee.”

“Yeah, how could you not? I’m so damn lovable. Now, go and take a day to spoil your girls.”

He was about to hang up.

“Wait!”

“What?” she asked.

“I was sitting in my car and something occurred to me,” he stated.

“That you’re crazy? Who does things like that, Christopher?”

“I was thinking about that case. It brought me back fifteen years ago.”

She was listening. “Go on.”

“This killer is trying to mimic
‘The Butcher’
, right?”

She didn't tell him that they had another body, or that they figured out this was personally pointed at them. “Go on.”

“I took all the files, evidence, etc. There’s only two ways anyone could have learned about that medallion.”

“Okay, what?”

“It was either me or the city ME who did the autopsy on Seamus O’Brien. When the cops got to the scene, the medallion was covered in blood. There was no way that the police saw it, so it wouldn’t have been something they would have known about.”

“Okay, go on.”

“The ME or a tech would have had to have told the killer about it, or the ME didn't destroy everything like he said he did. I personally deleted the bullet information on his computer, but if I made copies of everything else...”

She thought about it.

“You should sit in your old car more often.”

He laughed. “I sit in it when I’m thinking about you. Like the boxers, they have meaning. That day in the front seat of my car, you saved me. When you made me promise to stick with it, swearing that you’d have my back, my life changed. That’s why I keep that vehicle.”

When Cyra told her where she’d found him, Elizabeth was well aware. “You should take it out more often, Christopher. When you don’t run sports cars like they’re high performance machines, they rust from the inside out.”

He grinned. “Want to go for a ride for old time’s sake?”

“Can I drive?” she asked.

“Hell yeah, you can.”

“It’s a date. We can scare Ethan and Callen. I love making them weep. It’s my hobby.”

He laughed. “Thank you, Lyzee.”

“Sports cars are like smart men, Doc. They need a challenge. They need to have a purpose, but on the flip side, wives are like that too. You can’t neglect them or they end up costing you a hell of a lot more money in the end. You need to wax and buff your car on a regular basis, and take it to the movies to show it off. Both of you are like that sports car. Now…go let your wife take you for one hell of a ride, and you take her out for some fun.”

“Thank you for being my sister. I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

Her heart skipped. “The feeling is mutual, Christopher. It always was. I told you… these are the ripples in the pond from fifteen years ago. Aren’t you glad you trusted me?”

He absolutely was. “Yeah, I am.”

“Well, thank you for sitting in that sports car and giving me a direction. Kiss my godchild. Tell her Auntie Lyzee loves her. In fact, if you need alone time for a date, take her over to Wyler’s daycare. He’ll watch her.”

He grinned. “I’ll see you at FBI West. You’re the best boss ever.”

“You’re the best brother ever.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Doc.”

He hung up.

Chris felt like a new man. It was time to go back to his old life. Heading out of his office, he returned to their room. In bed, Cyra was reading a book.

She looked like hell.

“Hey,” she said, when he entered.

“Hey.”

“Chris.”

He jumped on the bed and pulled her into his arms. His mouth found hers, and he didn't stop kissing her until he couldn’t breathe.

When he set her free, she was staring at him as if he was crazy. “You called Elizabeth.”

She nodded, tears filling her eyes.

“Why?”

“I made a horrible mistake. Please forgive me. I get it now. You need that part of your life in order to have this part of your life. I can’t take away half and expect you to be whole. It’s about balance.”

Chris grinned, his blue eyes filled with nothing but love. “We all make mistakes. I’m sorry I made you feel neglected. I get it. I’m going to work on that.”

“You are?” she asked.

“Yes. After I make love to my wife, I’m taking my girls out for breakfast. Then Bethe is going on a play date, and you and I are going to the movies. Alone. Just us.”

She stared at him.

“Who are you? Where is Christopher Leonard?”

He laughed.

“I had a good friend point out what I was missing. You’re not the only one who made a mistake. I take you for granted, and that hurts.”

“What did Elizabeth tell you exactly? I think I need to buy her flowers.”

Chris kissed her on the tip of her nose. “She told me that I have an awesome wife, and I should take today to be with her and show her how great she is.”

“Really?”

He grinned. Chris knew what his best friend had offered his wife, and he owed her. “Yes, she did. So, how about that first part of today’s plans. I don’t hear Bethe, and that means we’re alone.”

She dropped the book. “Commence the first part of your plan, Christopher. I’m ready.”

He laughed, right before he pounced.

His heart felt light, and he was blessed to have the best of both worlds.