Checkmate (40 page)

'Thanks for meeting me, Callie,' said Lucas.

'It sounded urgent on the phone,' I said.

We both sat down at a less than clean table in the café we'd dined in on our very first date together. Not that either of us called it a date at the time. It was very late and the waitress didn't look particularly thrilled to see us. No doubt we'd scuppered her plans to knock off early.

'D'you want something to eat?' asked Lucas.

I shook my head.

'I'm paying,' he teased.

'I'm not hungry.'

'Two coffees please,' Lucas ordered for me as the Nought waitress approached. He waited till she nodded and walked off again before turning back to me.

'So what is it?' I asked. 'I'm all a-quiver!'

The expression on Lucas's face smothered any thought of light banter on my part. Something was really troubling him.

'I don't know how to say this without just saying it,' said Lucas sombrely.

I sat silent, wishing he'd get to the point.

'I know that your dad was Callum McGregor Lucas began.

'So?' I asked.

'I . . . I know how he died and why,' said Lucas with obvious discomfort.

'Who told you? Tobey? Or your dad?'

'Dad, but—'

'So you're dumping me?' I realized.

'No, of course not. I've known about it since primary school,' said Lucas.

Which surprised me. I'd thought his parents' objections to me stemmed from my dual heritage, not from my dad's history.

'And you still asked me out?'

'I'm dating you, not your dad,' said Lucas.

If only he meant it. But if that was the case, what on earth were we doing here? I regarded Lucas, trying to anticipate just what was coming next. If he'd known about my dad for ages and he wasn't dumping me, why the phone call to say he had to see me? He'd made it sound like it was a matter of life or death
–
literally.

'D'you know your dad had a brother?'

'Yes. Uncle Jude,' I replied. I could've bitten off my tongue when I said Uncle's name. How many times had I had it drummed into me that I should never volunteer information about anything or anyone in the
L.M.
? I was behaving like a neophyte.

'Have you met him?' Lucas leaned forward to ask.

Our coffees arrived so he had to sit back and wait for the waitress to move out of earshot, by which time I'd gathered some of my scattered composure.

'Lucas, what's this about?' I asked.

'I've been doing some digging into your dad's family and—'

'You've been doing what?' I said slowly.

'Don't get upset, Callie. I just wanted to know more about you, that's all. I went to the library to read up on your dad and found a lot about his brother, your uncle.'

I sat back in my chair. First Tobey spying and prying and now Lucas. What made either of them think they had the right to snoop into my personal life? 'Why did you go to the library in the first place? What was it you were hoping to find?'

'I don't know. It's just that you've been so . . . off recently. I thought that if I found out some more about you . . .'

'That what?' I prompted.

'I don't know.' Lucas shrugged helplessly. 'You matter to me, Callie, that's all.'

'You've got a funny way of showing it,' I told him belligerently.

'I knew you'd get mad, but I had to tell you,' said Lucas.

'Spit it out,' I said with impatience.

'Your Uncle Jude is wanted by the police. They reckon he's been behind a number of the
L.M.
outrages that've taken place in the last few years.'

I was about to deny that but I thought better of it. Best not to let Lucas think I knew too much about my uncle's activities.

'What's that got to do with me?' I said.

'Have you seen him? Has he tried to contact you?'

'D'you think my mum would let me have any contact at all with my dad's brother?' I asked disingenuously.

'I . . . I wasn't sure,' said Lucas. 'But I just wanted to tell you that if he did try to make contact, you shouldn't meet him. According to the stuff I read, he's a really dangerous man.'

'But suppose I want to meet him?' I asked evenly.

Lucas frowned at me. 'Then I'd come with you.'

'Telling your mum and dad and the police first?'

'No, never. But I'd come with you to make sure you were safe.'

As if Lucas could keep me safe from Uncle Jude. The notion almost made me laugh out loud. My first encounter with Lucas left him with a bloody nose before he ran off to tell on me. No doubt any chance of an encounter with my uncle would have him racing to do the same again.

As if he could read my thoughts, Lucas said quietly, 'I don't tell tales any more, Callie Rose. You can trust me. I wish I knew what to say to make you believe that. I'm on your side.'

My side . . . A Cross on the side of the
L.M.
? How far over to my side was Lucas prepared to travel?

'I think your dad would have something to say about that,' I said sceptically.

'And I've already told you, I don't care. I'm not a clone of my dad and one of these days I'm going to find a way of proving that to you.'

'Well, you don't have to worry, Lucas. If my uncle hasn't got in touch with me by now, he never will.'

Lucas nodded but he didn't look totally convinced. I didn't care. Uncle Jude was the best thing that'd happened to me and I wasn't about to let Tobey or Lucas and their half-arsed snooping change my mind about that. It was a simple choice. Tobey and Lucas and the tedium of ordinary, everyday, pointless nothingness – or doing something with my life, making a difference, being
someone.

I'd already tried being no one. It didn't suit me. I wanted my life to matter, my existence to matter to someone, somewhere. Working with Uncle Jude, it would. Staying at home with a woman who couldn't bear to even touch me, it wouldn't.

'Sonny? W-what're you doing here?' I still couldn't believe it. My heart was swinging around like a skipping rope.

'Can I come in?'

I stepped to one side, holding the door open so he could get past. The years we'd been apart had been very good to him. His black trousers weren't anything you'd get off the rack at the local department store and his burgundy shirt would've looked silly on most men, but it worked just fine on Sonny. His hair was slightly longer than when we'd been together. That suited him too.

'Go through,' I said. 'You know the way.'

Sonny headed into the living room with me in tow. Why on earth was he here? I waited for him to pick a seat so that I could sit opposite him.

'It's good to see you again,' I told him, tucking my legs under me.

'You too,' said Sonny. 'I was in the neighbourhood so I thought I'd drop in and see how you are.'

'I'm fine,' I replied.

'Callie Rose?'

'She's fine,' I lied.

'Where is she?'

'Out with a friend.'

'And Meggie?'

'She's fine. She's out too.'

'And what about you, Sephy?'

'What about me?'

Sonny's expression changed from nonchalance to a kind of self-mocking humour.

'That was a lie, about me being in the neighbourhood,' he admitted. 'I came because I had to see you.'

'Why? What's wrong?' I knew Sonny well enough to know that something was troubling him deeply.

'Have you missed me?'

I frowned at him. 'Is that what you came here to ask?'

'I just want to know if you've missed me.'

'What d'you want me to say, Sonny? The first year after we broke up, I missed you all the time. Sometimes I even cried myself to sleep.' Which was a lie, because it was more than just sometimes. 'Callie Rose blamed me entirely for you not being around any more. I missed being with you, I missed writing with you, I missed talking to you, I missed sleeping with you. I'd hear our songs on the radio and your new ones and wish and wonder. But that was then. I'm doing OK now. Better than OK.'

'So you did love me?'

'Very much.'

Sonny's gaze fell away from mine, his expression twisting as if in pain. When he turned back, his face was unreadable.

'D'you know, that's the first time you've told me that,' he said at last.

I hung my head. Was it really? I thought back, but I couldn't bring to mind a time when I'd said the words to him. My head was beginning to hurt from trying to remember.

'I regret that very much,' I said, looking straight at Sonny. 'You deserved to hear that. My head was still all mixed up when we were together. I thought there was only a finite amount of love in me which had to be shared between Callie Rose and Callum, her dad. So I told myself that what I felt for you wasn't love, but close enough. I did both of us a disservice. And by the time I realized the truth, it was too late. Story of my life.'

'Why did you never try to get in touch with me after we split up?' said Sonny.

I was confused. 'Was I supposed to?'

'I was hoping you would,' said Sonny.

'Why? When you left you made it very clear that you didn't want to work with me or be with me any more,' I said, even more confused. 'Was I supposed to go chasing after you?'

'You never struck me as the type of woman to give in so easily, not if it was something you really wanted.'

'People aren't possessions,' I said. 'And you can't make someone love you. You fell out of love with me and in love with Sherona. What was I supposed to do?'

'Fight for me,' said Sonny.

'Pardon?'

'Fight for me,' Sonny repeated.

The pain inside my head was getting worse, like bony knuckles being rubbed across the inside of my forehead.

'Sonny, this conversation is doing my head in. Have you and Sherona split up? Is that what this is all about?'

'Sherona and I never got started,' said Sonny.

'You've lost me.'

'We went out a couple of times, but she dumped me soon after she caught us in your dressing room at that club.'

'It's a restaurant,' I corrected pedantically. Hell! Who cared what it was? It was as if I was in the middle of a really confusing film and was desperately trying to catch up. 'Why did she dump you?' I had to ask. 'It was only one kiss and if you loved her, couldn't you—?'

'That wasn't the reason,' Sonny interrupted.

'I can't believe she dumped you because of me,' I protested. 'I was out of the picture.'

'But not out of my head,' said Sonny. 'Sherona and I were in bed and I called her by your name. Women aren't too keen on that sort of thing!'

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel after that revelation. 'I'm sorry,' I said, aware of how ineffectual my apology was. 'But how come you never told me before about you and Sherona splitting up?'

'The only thing I had left from our relationship was my pride.' Sonny shrugged. 'I wasn't about to give up that as well.'

'So why are you here now, after all this time?'

'Because my pride doesn't make me happy during the day or keep me warm at night. Because I miss you and Callie Rose more with each passing day, not less. Because I want to give us another try,' said Sonny.

Stunned didn't even begin to describe how I felt. Sonny wanted us to start again? 'And you've waited all this time to tell me that?'

'Have I left it too late?'

'Sonny, I've just agreed to marry Nathan.'

'Nathan?' Sonny's eyes narrowed.

'Nathan Ealing, my boss and the owner of Specimens.'

'D'you love him?'

'I wouldn't've said yes otherwise.'

'The same way you loved me?'

'Sonny, don't do this,' I pleaded. 'It's not fair.'

'All's fair,' said Sonny.

'You can't just turn up after all this time and expect us to pick up where we left off I said. 'Your life has moved on. So has mine.'

'Do you love me, Sephy?'

'Sonny—'

'Just answer that one question. D'you love me?'

'Sonny, you need to leave.' I stood up.

Reluctantly, Sonny stood up too. I headed straight out into the hall and opened the door. 'Bye, Sonny.'

'I'm not giving up, Sephy. Not without a fight.'

'Bye, Sonny,' I repeated.

'And you never answered my question,' Sonny pointed out.

He headed towards his car. Opening the driver's door, he turned round to look at me.

'I still love you, Sephy.'

I stepped into my hall, quickly shutting the front door. I leaned against it, my eyes closed. And I didn't move until I heard the sound of Sonny's car leaving. This just wasn't fair. Every time I thought I had one part of my life sorted out, something always came along to show me how wrong I was.