Chasing Soma (4 page)

Leah runs over to her book shelf and grabs a book. She brings it to me with a beaming smile.

“Look it’s a daddy book.” She shows me the cover with a man and a child laying against his chest. It makes my heart ache. She hasn’t had that. I feel as though I have been sucker punched with all of the emotions welling up inside of me. My baby girl did without her daddy because my pride was too damn big. I pick her up and hold her against my chest and stroke her back until she squirms.

“Read daddy.” She says and I lay her down on the bed and pull her shoes off. She pulls a stuffed animal into her arms to cuddle with and I recognize the bear. It is one that I won for Soma on our senior trip on the boardwalk. She slept with it every night. I feel moisture pool in my eyes as I touch the bear that is worn in places but loved as though it were the most perfect bear.

“This is daddy bear.” She tells me when she sees my interest in it. I smile and kiss her precious cheek.

“Yes baby girl, it is.” I tell her before I start reading her the book. It is full of pictures of a daddy caring for a baby and then the progression of age. The daddy helps his baby as she grows into a little girl. The end of the book is the daddy giving away his little girl at her wedding and I am sobbing. Thankfully, Leah is already asleep by this time. I set the book down and wipe my eyes. Damn, they make some hard core sentimental books for kids these days.

I look up and see Soma standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes. I stand up and follow her into the living room. She sits down on a couch that has definitely seen better days. I look around and notice that everything looks old and used. It is such a contrast to Leah’s room. She does without so that our daughter has everything she will ever need. Not any fucking more.

“I was going to take my time and win you over again and prove to you that I am still the man you once loved. I was going to give you time to get used to the idea of us being a family and prove that I can be a good father.” I take her hand before finishing.

“That is not what is going to happen now. I have lost too much time with you two. I refuse to be without you anymore. You have today to prepare. Get this fucking house packed because I am buying one for us. I want you to quit that job at the bar. My woman is not strutting around in front of the horny fucks in this town.” I take her face between my hands.

“I will take care of you two from now on. Do you understand?” Her eyes widen as she nods her head. I take her mouth and it isn’t a gentle kiss. This kiss is possessive and a promise of things to come. As I delve my tongue between her lips, I grip the back of her head so that she can’t pull away. I am letting her know that I will not be argued with. I will not ask any longer. I will only act.

I pull away and run my thumb over her lip as I stare into her desire laden eyes.

“I will be here to pick you both up in the morning to go see the houses I pick out. I will be buying one tomorrow.” I say I take one last taste of her sweet lips before I stand up. I look at her one more time before I walk through the door. It is a gamble to play things this way but if it pays off the reward outweighs it all. I need her to let me take over their care now. I just hope she is ready for this.

I was in a state of shock for the first half an hour after he left last night. As much as I would like to fight him and tell him he is wrong, I can’t. He is right. He lost a lot of time with our daughter. Both of us have made mistakes. I never should have believed that he would sleep with anyone else and he should have stayed and fought for me. Though it sounds like he could have gotten in to a lot of trouble with the navy if he had.

If I am honest with myself, I know that all of this lay more on my plate. He had shown me so much love and how do I reward him? I accuse him of something I know in my heart he would never have done. I know this in my heart but my mind is still angry. I need to put that anger where it belongs, on my shoulders. I need to carry that burden now. Not him.

So what did I do after that thirty minutes of confusion? I got up and started packing. I packed until my body was swaying with exhaustion and still I worked some more. Was I punishing myself? Possibly. I just know that I fell into oblivion on the couch around three in the morning. I woke up bright and early with a very exuberant little girl. I fed her breakfast and we started packing her room until we heard the knock on the door.

I open the door to the man who never left my mind since the beginning of my sophomore year in high school. The man I will always love. He smiles at me and drops a kiss to my lips that only starts a yearning for more.

“Daddy.” Leah shouts as she pushes her way between us. He lifts her up with a chuckle.

“This girl needs kisses too, huh?” He kisses her cheeks until she is giggling.

“Love you daddy.” She says and he has to clear his throat several times before he answers with a sheen of moisture in his eyes.

“I love you, baby girl.” He tells her with so much emotion that I let the tears spill down my cheeks. These two are so beautiful together. I wish so many things could have been different so they could have always been together. I shake my head. No more thinking about the past, it’s time for the future.

“You girls ready?” He asks looking at me. He looks worried like he isn’t sure if I would be upset with his behavior. What he doesn’t understand is that I get why he did it. I would want the same thing if our roles were reversed.

“Yes, we still have some packing to do, though not much.” I tell him and starts to say something and stops. He pulls me to him holds me and his daughter against him. He needs this moment. Hell, so do I. I have made the leap and I won’t be turning back. I am giving this another chance. I need to know or I will always wonder.

“You know we probably wouldn’t move in right away if you’re buying a house. It takes time to close.” I tell him. I had been saying that in my head even while I was packing the house.

“We’ll see about that.” I roll my eyes. Thankfully he can’t see me with my head tucked against his chest. The man is too used to getting his way. I move away from him and grab my purse and the small backpack I packed for Leah. She gets bored far too easy and I am sure looking at houses is going to be one of those things that will bore her. I packed several coloring books and crayons. I also packed her tablet and her favorite baby doll. I help her with the straps as we put it on her back.

We follow Chase to the car and climb inside. He helps Leah into her seat. He has become an old pro at dealing with that tricky seat. It’s a good thing because she still has years of being in it.

“There are only five houses available in this town right now. I’m not opposed to going to another town but I thought we should see these before we decide.” He tells me as we drive to the first house. He pulls up to one I have seen numerous times, growing up in this area. It is a bit run down and I know that it wouldn’t be my first choice. I look over and see Chase’s nose curl in distaste.

“I think when the realtor gets here, we should tell him we are definitely not interested in this one. Besides it’s only two bedrooms and we need at least four.” He says with a smile. My jaw drops. What in the hell do we need four bedrooms for? I think Chase is losing his damn mind if he thinks I am having that many children.

“We are having at least two more kids.” He tells me with a wink before climbing out of the car to meet the realtor who just pulled up.

“Like hell.” I mumble under my breath. Chase is only gone for a moment and returns with a smile on his face.

“Do you remember the house we used to go skinny dipping at? The one that we talked about living in?” He asks me. Of course I remember it. It was some of the happiest days of my life. The house is set back away from the road and can’t be seen through the thick trees. Not many know it’s there. It is like a private paradise. It has a large pond behind it with the clearest water and trees hanging over it so that it acts as a privacy fence. The house its self is beautiful but it’s the outside that always drew us to it. We would sit outside of it and talk about what it would be like to live there.

“It’s available.” He grins as he starts the car again and follows the silver SUV as it pulls back out onto the main road. I am still stunned that he is taking us to look at that house. It’s not like we can afford it. It’s probably worth three times what any other house would cost in this town. I shake my head and decide to let him lead in this. There is no point in arguing about it. Besides, I will enjoy finally getting to see inside the house. That makes me smile.

We pull up at the house and the first thing I notice is that it hasn’t been mowed or maintained in some time. It is overgrown. It by no means detracts from it’s beauty though the thought of the work it will take cutting it all back is a bit daunting. I look up at the large house. It is a large Victorian house with the pillars setting up the front porch and my breath catches as I see the porch that wraps around the second floor. I wonder what it would be like to watch to sunrise from up there as I drink my morning coffee.

“It’s a little overgrown but it is still as beautiful as ever.” I say as Chase jumps out of the car and goes to the back to help Leah out of her seat. I get out just as Mr. Telford walks over to us. He is one of the two realtors in town. The other is his wife. He is a nice man. His oldest son went to school with us only he is a few years younger than us.

“Hi Mr. Telford. How is Tommy doing?” I ask as he shakes my hand. It is a small town. We all know each other. It is one of the things that kept me from moving. I want to raise my child where there are no surprises. I do not like the idea of her meeting strangers.

“He just finished his freshman year of college and already they have him starting next season.” He beams proudly. Tommy was our star player on the football team. It isn’t surprising that his school has found that he is as talented as we all already knew him to be.

“That’s great news. You must be proud.” I tell him and he smiles again.

“Oh I am. His momma and I never miss a game even though we have to travel a couple hours to get there.” They are fortunate that he received a scholarship to a school in the same state. CU is in boulder about two hours east of us. It is a great school. It is where I had planned to go until life got in the way.

“Give him my best, will you?” I say as Chase and my daughter step up beside us. Mr. Telford nods his head and leads us up the large porch and unlocks the front door. The old door squeaks as it opens and I think well there is another thing needing work, but thankfully only a few drops of oil it should be good as new. I step inside and my jaw drops. It is so much more beautiful than I ever anticipated. It has a large wooden staircase the leads up to the second floor and to each side of it is a doorway.

Mr. Telford leads us to the entryway on the right and it is a large kitchen. There are no appliances but already I can see what I would choose and it will look absolutely perfect. It is so large that we could have a large table in here with plenty of space left. The china hutch that my mother left me that has been in storage collecting dust will look perfect in here too. I would paint the walls a soft teal color and a darker teal around the base boards.

Mr. Telford tells us about the plumbing that was just replaced by the bank that currently owns the house. Apparently when the last owner passed away, he didn’t have any more relatives. The bank has had possession of it ever since. That means it is available to move in immediately. Too bad it is way out of our price range. I look up at Chase who is running his hand across the wood as though seeing if it is still sound.

Mr. Telford takes us back out and into the entryway on the left hand side of the staircase. It is a large sitting room and I can imagine what couches and coffee tables I would put in here. I need to stop doing that, it gets my hopes up. I can’t seem to help myself. There is a door that opens into the laundry area that is the size of my entire house. I nearly start laughing at the thought.

He then leads up the stairs and that is where I fall head over hills in love with this house. There are five bedrooms that start out fairly small and continue to get bigger until you get to the master bedroom. It is large and with large windows that look out onto the pond that we used to swim in. The one we thought nobody could see us while we swam naked. My cheeks heat and when Chase notices the view, he starts laughing.

What really got me to fall in love with the house is the tower. We walk up the spiral staircase into a room that is all windows with bookshelves towering everywhere. It is the most breathtaking library I have ever seen. I can see myself with a desk in the middle of the room and writing about adventures. I would pause in my writing to look out at the lush view of trees. I can see myself happy here.

I look up at Chase with tears in my eyes. He smiles and runs his finger down my cheek.

“We’ll take it.” He tells Mr. Telford. I gasp at him as Mr. Telford beams. He just made enough in commission to last him a while.

“That’s wonderful.” Mr. Telford says and you can practically see the dollar bills in his eyes.

“I want immediate possession. Can you make that happen?” Mr. Telford pulls out his phone.

“I will call the bank now and see how quickly we can sit up a meeting to sign the papers. I think they will be agreeable. It is the local bank after all.” In other words they have nothing else going on. Mr. Telford steps out of the room to make his phone call and I hiss at Chase.

“We can’t afford a house like this.” I spit out as I continue to look at the beauty surrounding me. Living here would be like a dream come true.

“Of course we can.” He shrugs his shoulder and I glare up at him.

“Unless you won the lottery while you were gone.” I take Leah from his arms when she starts squirming. I sit her down and she runs over to look out the window.

“Mommy, it’s a princess castle.” She says as she claps her hands and bounces up and down.

“Babe, I made good money as a SEAL and I saved every penny. One of the guys on my team is a genius with numbers and predicting the stock market. I invested a lot of my money and it grew beyond anything I could have imagined. I can afford this house and ten more like it if I choose to.” He tells me taking me completely by surprise. I can’t believe that we could be moving into the very house we used to daydream about living in.

“I want the house that you and I dreamed of living in as we would lay naked by the pond. I want all the things we talked about having together.” He says the last part against my mouth as he pulls me toward him. I open my mouth to him immediately and his tongue thrusts in touching my tongue, creating a frenzy as my breathing explodes from my lungs. I forget where we are and what is going on as I surrender myself to the pleasure of his mouth.

A throat clears making us jump apart, startled by the older man who smirks at us.

“The bank says they can have the paperwork ready by this evening. They would like your bank information to see that you are serious though.” He tells Chase.

“Of course.” He pulls out his wallet and hands Mr. Telford a piece of paper with numbers written all over it.

“USAA” Mr. Telford asks and Chase nods his head. He steps back out of the room with his phone to his ear. I shake my head. It looks like he is getting his way yet again.

“Mommy, a bird.” Leah shouts excitedly. We both make our way over to it and watch as it lays a branch down on the nest in is building next to the window.

“I bet soon it will have eggs in it.” Chase tells Leah and she jumps up and down.

“So which room do you want as your bedroom.” Chase asks her and she stops and thinks.

“This one.” She says happily.

“I was thinking this would be a good library and office for mommy to write in.” Chase tells her taking me by surprise. It’s almost as though he can read my mind at times.

“I show you.” Leah takes his hand and leads him down the stairs. I cringe a bit thinking about the two large staircases in this house. We will have to put up baby gates if we decide to have more children. I only want one more. I can’t imagine having more than that. Chase is off his rocker wanting at least three. Let’s try one more and see how he does. He is getting to know his daughter when she no longer has stinky diapers and night time feedings.

Leah picks the room next to the master bedroom and is animatedly telling Chase what she wants for her room. She tells him she wants a big girl bed. He eats up every word she says.

“How about when we leave here, we go to the furniture store and you can pick out what you want in your room.” He tells her and she screeches her excitement. I practically have to cover my ears.