Chasing Second Chances (10 page)

“I know. I regret that now.”

Lloyd wasn’t making sense again. If he regretted letting her go, if he was jealous of Bryan, didn’t that mean…

“I promise I’ll get the children back, Kate,” he suddenly said as he looked at her, the determined gleam in his eyes matching his tone.

She looked away from him, refusing to be drawn into his gaze. “You promised you’d love me forever, too, but you broke that promise, didn’t you?”

He stood right in front of her, forcing her to look at him. “Who said I ever stopped loving you?”

At those words, which confirmed the suspicion she had been in the process of forming, she felt her heart stop a second time, her lips parting to let out a silent gasp.

Lloyd still loved her?

She wanted to think he was simply joking, but she had never known him to joke and the seriousness in his gaze told him that was not the case this time.

She swallowed.

“I never stopped loving you, Kate.”

For a moment, they just stood there, staring at each other. Then, having had enough of the tense atmosphere, Kate stepped back.

“I’m going back in,” she muttered, turning back towards the house. Without a single backward glance, without another word and without even bothering to get the glass she had left outside, she headed inside the house and up the stairs, only stopping when she was back in the bedroom, leaning on the door that she closed softly behind her.

Bryan was still asleep.

She removed her robe and went on the bed slowly, lying beside him. He was lying on his back now, though still breathing deeply, and she turned towards him, stroking his arm and staring at his face.

So what if Lloyd loved her? She didn’t love him anymore. Her heart belonged to Bryan now. It was him she loved.

Then why did she suddenly feel confused? Why did Lloyd’s confession bother her so much? Why did it annoy her yet make her feel a bit happy at the same time?

I never stopped loving you, Kate.

Why? Why did Lloyd have to say those words?

She buried her face in the pillow, frustrated. She should never have left the bedroom, never have tried to be nice to Lloyd, thinking he was feeling lonely. Apparently, he was not lonely enough that he could still find room for a romantic conquest, repaying her kindness by giving her another big shock when she had not even recovered from the shock of Charlene Morrow’s death or the shock of finding her children gone.

Lloyd’s confession was not the only thing that bothered her, though.

He got rid of the kids because they were getting in the way.

She lifted her head to look at Bryan, who was still sleeping soundly, his eyelids twitching every now and then. With them closed, she could see his eyelashes clearly, which she considered one of his features she loved most, being the same color as his hair and long and evenly spaced that she sometimes wished she was the one who had them instead.

Nonsense, she thought. Bryan wouldn’t hurt a fly. He had pledged his life to saving lives, after all. Besides, he loved her, loved her so much that he had nearly cried tears of joy when she had asked him to come live with her, loved her enough to take a leave from work in order to support her in this time of need. How, then, could he have taken her children?

There are some things he hasn’t told you.

In spite of the fact that she immediately rejected the possibility that her boyfriend was a kidnapper, a voice inside her told her it wasn’t unlikely Bryan was hiding something from her.

The question was: What?

Chapter Thirteen

“What do you think?” Bryan asked, stepping aside and stretching his arm towards the new playground set—a set of two rubber swings, a plastic spiral slide attached to a wooden playhouse that had a climbing wall on the other side and a separate wooden seesaw, all spread out over green rubber mats in the backyard. It had been his idea to put up the playground which taken him all day long to assemble, saying that it would be a nice surprise for Lena and Jack when they came home.

“It’s wonderful,” Kate said with a smile as she tried to hold back tears. She could almost see Jack going down the slide and Lena on one of the swings, and she could not wait until they came home and tried them.

There was another thought that crossed her mind—the thought that a man who had spent all day putting up a playground for her children in an effort to make them happy and to cheer her up could not have ‘gotten rid’ of them. If she had any doubt of his innocence in her mind before, there wasn’t any left now.

Bryan, too, smiled. “It’s nice to see you smiling again. I was afraid that you’d have a hard time bouncing back from yesterday.”

“It still bothers me,” she admitted. “But I’ll be fine.”

“I saw it on the news this morning,” he said. “You’re not going to the funeral, I hope.”

She shook her head. As much as she wanted to give her condolences to Charlene’s family, she did not want to be at the receiving end of another tongue-lashing from Mrs. Morrow. “I will send flowers, though.”

“That would be best,” Bryan agreed. He tugged on the chain of one of the swings. “Care to try it?”

“Why not?” Kate approached, smoothed the back of her pleated khaki skirt and sat on the swing, placing her hands around the chains. Slowly, she began to rock herself back and forth. “This certainly brings back memories.”

“Like?”

To her chagrin, the first memory that filled her mind was of the last time she had sat on a swing, which was when she and Lloyd had kissed, which in turn reminded her of his confession. She set both memories aside, though, not wanting them to spoil the present moment.

“Like when I was five and my mother would take me to the playground on summer mornings,” she said. “She liked to paint during her free time and she would paint in the park while I would go on the swings.”

“That sounds nice,” Bryan said, sitting on the swing beside her, which creaked in protest but didn’t give way. “My parents never really had time to bring us to the playground since they were busy even during weekends, plus the playground wasn’t exactly around the corner from where we lived.”

“Oh,” she said sadly.

He had told her he had come from a middle-income family, that his mother worked at a dry cleaner’s and his father was a truck driver, and that his childhood had been tough but that was just about all she knew of his past. He had never gone into the details until now. It reminded her of how little she actually knew about him, and of the question that had kept her up until the early hours of the morning.

She was suddenly determined to find out the answer.

“Where are your parents now?” she asked, thinking that it was best to probe around subtly instead of asking directly.

“They’re both gone,” he answered. “My father died in a road accident a few years ago. My mom died of an undiagnosed heart disease when I was in medical school. It was what inspired me to choose cardiology as my specialty, although I was originally considering pediatrics.” He gave her a puzzled look. “I never told you that?”

She shook her head. “No, but I’m glad you told me now.”

“How about you? Is there a particular reason why you became an events coordinator? Was that what you really wanted to become?”

She had not anticipated being asked questions, as well, but she supposed she should have. This was a conversation, after all, not an interview, and so it was a two-way exchange of information.

“I guess I was one of those people who wasn’t sure what I wanted to become,” she told him. “I only chose to be an events coordinator because it was an exciting job. I suppose that’s why when I had Lena, I became so happy. I finally realized the role I had been born to fill.”

“For what it’s worth, you’re a good mother, Kate.” He looked at her. “Not even this…this unfortunate series of events can change that.”

She slowed the swing down using her heels so she could reach out to him and hold his hand, squeezing it gently. “Thank you, Bryan.”

He nodded at her then let go of her hand so he could go faster on the swing. “Well, this seems sturdy.”

“You did well. Then again, I always said you were good with your hands.”

He simply grinned, swinging a little higher.

She watched him swing, enraptured. She almost forgot what she was trying to accomplish, in fact, so fascinated by seeing Bryan so free, like a child, as if he was suddenly making up for the times he didn’t get to go on the swing during his childhood. When she remembered it, she started having second thoughts, too, afraid for him to distance himself from her just when he was opening up, but knowing that she would not be at ease until she found the piece she felt was missing, she bravely went on.

“So who thought you how to work with tools and put stuff together?” she asked.

“My father and I made a shelf once,” he said. “That was probably one of the few times we did something together, just the two of us.”

“Your brother didn’t help?”

“Michael was still too little. Besides, he never liked getting sweaty or getting his hands dirty. Maybe that was already a sign that…” He stopped speaking suddenly, hands gripping the chains of the swing as he slowed it down.

She waited patiently for him to continue and when he didn’t, his expression seemingly troubled, she asked, “That what?”

Bryan took a deep breath before answering. “When Michael was seventeen, my dad saw him with a man and sent him away from home. I only saw him two more times after that. He didn’t even come to Mom’s funeral. Several years ago, I found out he died of AIDS.”

“Oh,” was all she managed to say. She suddenly felt sorry she asked, though she had a feeling she hadn’t even stumbled upon what she was looking for.

What could have made Lloyd think Bryan was capable of committing a crime? Or at least, what could Bryan be hiding that made Lloyd worry enough to warn her?

Briefly, she wished she had insisted on Lloyd telling her, but then told herself she wouldn’t have believed him anyway. When it came to bad news about the people you loved the most, you had to hear or see that news for yourself before you believed because there was a chance you could be torn to pieces.

Yes, whatever it was Bryan was hiding, she had to find out for herself, but that didn’t mean she had to find it out right now.

“I’ve got an idea,” she said as she gave Bryan a bright smile. “What if you and I have dinner here at the backyard? Nobody ever said we have to have a barbecue to eat outdoors.”

To her relief, the corners of his lips turned up. “Sure. That sounds nice,” he said, then added, “Lloyd’s not going to be here?”

“I think he won’t be having dinner here,” she said. Lloyd had been away all day, saying he had some stuff to attend to. It was one of the reasons why she thought it was a good time to inquire about Bryan’s past. Now that she thought about it, though, she wondered if Lloyd had deliberately left them alone so she could find out Bryan’s secret, perhaps in hopes that it would be big enough to tear them apart.

That Lloyd…

“So what’s for dinner?” Bryan’s question broke into her thoughts. “I think I’m getting hungry.”

“That’s no surprise given what you’ve been doing all day,” she said, her near grimace quickly replaced by a grin. “I was thinking I’d whip up some buffalo wings.”

“That would be nice.” He got up from the swing and sniffed his sleeve. “In the meantime, I think I’ll go get a shower.”

They both went inside the house at the same time, Kate heading to the kitchen and Bryan going upstairs. She took the chicken wings from the refrigerator, having brought them down from the freezer earlier, and brought it to the sink to place it under running water so it could thaw some more.

As she did, she thought of how she could go about digging into Bryan’s past without him knowing it. Clearly, probing around didn’t work. As much as she liked Bryan opening up and learning more about him, she had to be more specific if she wanted to find what she was looking for, whatever it was.

She suddenly had an idea.

* * * *

“Truth or dare?” Kate asked Bryan as she added another bone to the growing pile and licked the sauce off her fingertips.

“Dare.”

She frowned. “Dares aren’t fun when there’s only two people playing.”

“Well, you’re the one who suggested truth or dare,” Bryan reminded her as he started chewing on another wing. “Would you like it to be a truth game instead?”

She nodded enthusiastically, feeling as if she had just hit the jackpot.

“I guess I have no choice but to tell you the truth then,” he said. “Your question.”

“Hmm.” She furrowed her eyebrows as she wiped her fingers on a table napkin. She decided to start with something easy, something that was fun so things wouldn’t turn too serious too quickly like they did last time. “When is the longest you’ve gone without taking a bath?”

He quirked a brow at her. “What?”

“Just answer it.”

He paused to think. “Three days, I guess.”

“Three days?” Her eyes grew wide.

“Do I have to explain why?”

“Yes, please.”

“My friends and I were backpacking in Australia. We decided not having a bath was part of the adventure, especially since we didn’t really know how to get one. We ended up splashing a lot in the ocean before our trip was over, though.”

“I pity the other swimmers who were there with you.”

He chuckled. “Now, it’s my turn to ask you a question.”

“All right.”

“What’s your bedroom fantasy?”

She grinned. “I should’ve known you’d ask a naughty question.”

“Is that not allowed?” He tipped his bottle of beer up to take a sip.

“I guess it is. Let’s see.” She scratched her chin, looking up at the skies where the first few stars were beginning to make an appearance. “I guess I’d want to watch you…playing with yourself.” She blushed as she said the last words then quickly looked away.

“Really?” He set down his bottle. “Can I ask why?”

“Nope, you can’t.”

He frowned. “That’s not fair.”

She ignored him. “My turn.” She decided to think of a more serious question this time, one that would make him just as uncomfortable as he had made her without offending him. “When was the last time you lied?”

“Not getting back at me with a naughty question, huh?” he teased. “Now, let me think.” He paused. “I think a while ago when you asked me if the buffalo wings were spicy enough and I said yes. Frankly, I’d like them hotter. Sorry about that.”

“Oh. Well, that’s okay.” She could not help but feel disappointed at his answer, or the fact that he did not even blush at her question but let it go. “Your turn.”

“Okay. Aside from leaving the kids behind, which I know you regret, what’s the biggest regret weighing on your mind right now?”