Authors: Maya James
"Do
you have second thoughts about it? Do you want me to forget about her now, let
it go untouched?" I ask finally. "Is that what this is about?"
Her
sexy, black face isn't leading me this time. "That's what this is about,
yes, but I haven't changed my mind. I know it's the right thing to do for
Justin, to at least find out what happened."
Uta
interrupts us, asking what colors we want. They have a red that matches
Justin's favorite shade perfectly, and I can see him smiling and ravaging me
when it’s the only thing on me. So of course I choose it. Lena chooses a softer
red, but it doesn't seem like she’s overly interested in it.
The
girls then go back to work on us. There shouldn't be too many more
interruptions until they are done. Time to get Lena to spit out what is
bothering her.
"So,
if you still want me to continue, then what is bothering you so much? Enough
holding it in."
"I'm
worried that this isn't the time to do it," she says. "We should
think about waiting."
"Why?"
I ask—as curious as I am scared. We both know the danger of Justin catching us,
how angry he would be at both us for betraying his desire to never hear from
his mother again, but there’s something darker in Lena’s eyes than that.
Lena
closes her beautiful eyes; relaxing while her nails are done, trying to put her
thoughts together. I think she knows exactly what needs to be said, it’s the how
to say it without freaking me out that she's concerned about.
Too
late!
She
draws in a long, strengthening breath. "You need to think about who you
are with and how he feels about you. Justin absolutely adores you, and you
deserve it, so don't misunderstand me, but you need to see what's coming. Think
about it, Charity—why are we here right now, getting our nails done?"
I sit
back, trying as well to relax. "Because it's where we go to talk," I
answer.
"Why
is that?"
"Because
we are alone here, no eyes and ears," I reply instantly.
Lena
nods but says nothing else, letting me think my way through this. I know
exactly what she's doing right now. It wasn't obvious at first, but she's
training me. She has all the answers to what I'm asking her, and she could
easily just blurt them all out for me.
I'm
not seeing a bigger picture.
When we
come here, or any place like it, Justin loses his sight of us. That hasn't been
a problem in the past, so what is different now?
Now
there's the Scott Lewis deal!
"Is
this about Lewis?”
Lena nods.
"It
can get that bad?"
She
shrugs her shoulders, as if it's meaningless. But, that is a lie.
Maybe
they don't know how bad it is going to get, and she doesn't want me to freak
out until they know for sure, but that's not the point here. She wants me to
learn to keep my eyes open in all directions. Whether someone comes after us or
not, Justin is not going to take chances, not with me. I have to expect that
his eyes and ears are going to be everywhere from now on.
That
means these meetings with Lena have to end.
Or
have a cover of their own!
I know
exactly what that's going to be. This thing with Lena for Justin—it's not the
only secret that I'm working on. There are things that even Lena doesn't know.
"I
understand," I say to her, pulling my blonde hair away from my eyes so I
can see if she reacts.
Lena
doesn't respond, but I see her shoulders and face relax, letting go of all her
tension and worry for the moment. Suddenly, she looks like her normal self.
How
the hell is she so pretty, even when she's not trying? It's really not fair!
It's
time to let go, relax, and let Uta and the rest of the staff take care of us.
We usually do come here to talk in private away from Justin's reach, but I
really need this today. I've been a complete wreck lately; there's just not
enough time in the day, and my stress level is through the roof.
Christmas
is only a few weeks away, my first one in the city, and I have been everywhere.
I've gone to so many stores that I can't even remember their names or count
them on my fingers. I can tell you, easily, where I have been the most—UPS!
They
fucking love me there!
I may
be single handedly responsible for several of their Christmas bonuses.
It's
taking its toll on me, though. My feet hurt nearly every moment of the day, but
that’s nothing compared to my hip and back. It feels like I'm still favoring my
leg from the accident and compensating for it is twisting me all up in knots.
Justin
is really not happy about it, at all. He says that he has people for this and
there's no reason for me to push myself this hard. I'll let him punish me
later. I'm too excited to stop and I don't feel right having anyone shop for
me, not for people that I love. Gifts should come from the heart.
Okay,
I'm bullshitting just a little bit, making it sound like he hasn't found a way
to help me. I am driven around in his car, by his personal driver. And on quite
a few of my shopping sprees, there is an assistant with me. Although I wouldn't
let them do anything more than search for certain sizes and carry my bags when
there were too many to carry for myself.
I'm
trying my hardest not to become a spoiled bitch and that’s not easy to do when
Justin is trying his damnedest to spoil me! Despite my search for independence
in the big city, there is still quite a few small-town values that I don't ever
want to give up. At the top of that list—you keep loved ones close and treat them
right. I can't fault Justin because that's exactly what he's trying to do for
me, take care of me; he's just not used to having so many loved ones to think
about. It's been just him and Lena for years.
An easy
smile spreads across my face. I'm about to open up his world.
Lately,
we've been discussing taking a trip to Pennsylvania, so that I can introduce
him to everyone. It's been mostly his idea, but I’m all for it. I just hope he
knows what he's getting himself into.
He'll
have a small taste of it soon enough though. I have been begging my best friend
from home, Melissa, to come for a visit, and it's finally happening! I’m thrilled
to have her and Justin finally meet.
I'm
too fucking excited for words!
I miss
her, the phone calls just haven’t been cutting it. There’s so much to show her
and so much catching up to do.
And I
need her help, now even more than before.
My eyes
drift back over to Lena and I find her beautiful black face staring back,
reading me. She suspects that I'm holding something back from her, that much is
obvious in her eyes, but I have no intention of clueing her in. It's well past
the point where I can do that.
My
bright and steady smile tells her she's out. What I have to do, I have to do
alone—or at least without Panther. I have to abuse her friendship a bit, to get
what I want. She will appreciate it in the end, but not right now. Now she's
being left in the cold, and my smile confirms that for her.
"That
sucks," she says softly, understanding my expression.
"It
does. Just remember, everything I do is because I love both of you."
"I
know. Just—" she pauses for a second. "Be careful!"
It
can't be easy, to just let go like that. She'll have no idea what's going on;
no way to know if it’s going good or bad, if I get myself into trouble, at
least not until it's probably too late.
I'm still jealous of
Trisha's beautiful, Italian black
hair every time I see it. It’s been a few days since my talk with Lena, and I
wanted to do something a little fun, so I'm watching as Trisha crosses through
the forever-busy Ellen's Stardust Diner toward me. Yeah, it's a little
touristy, but screw it—it's fun anyway.
She
looks like she's lost a little weight, too.
Bitch!
"Hey,
Girl," she says as she leans over to kiss me on the cheek.
"You
look incredible, as always," I tell her while she folds herself into the
tiny space they had fit her chair. "Sam must be keeping you busy in the
bedroom, you look thinner."
Trisha
giggles wickedly. "Well, we have been
busy
, but I haven't lost
anything. It's just my outfit. I have no intention of losing my badonkadonk and
besides, look who's talking, lookin' all sexy as hell over there."
Double
bitch! For being so comfortable with her curves. Ha ha!
She
twists in her chair to fix her jacket so that it's hanging behind her.
"Can you believe how God damn cold it is out there?" she snarls over
her shoulder.
"I
know," I agree. "No one warns you about that before you move here.
You would think the buildings block the wind, but most of them just act like a
funnel."
Trisha
turns back to me with a shitty smile on her face. "At least it hasn't
snowed. You haven't seen anything yet."
"Crap!
What's that like?"
Trisha
laughs. "It's an interesting disaster. How those guys clear these streets—I
can't fathom it. It's amazing, truly, but it's still such a mess. Fair warning,
it will be like nothing you are used to from home. In the parks it will be
pretty, but all that virginal, pristine white you might be expecting, we don't
get that here. We get grey and black mounds of garbage-strewn slush."
"Wow!"
I tease. "You're like an artist painting beautiful pictures in my
mind."
Trisha
laughs at me as our waitress comes over and introduces herself; a cute,
short-haired thing with too much energy and appropriately named Britney.
"What do you want to drink?" I ask Trisha as she continues to laugh
at me.
"You
know what I want—I want summer!" she says defiantly. "Give me a Vodka
Collins. That's summer in a glass."
Even Britney
giggles.
"Screw
it! I'll have the same," I add with a smile.
"You
got it, girls!" Britney says as she leaves to fill the order.
We are
still reading the menus and waiting on our drinks when the staff begins one of
their famous singing routines. Of course it was the Elvis song, "Hound
Dog," but they are wildly entertaining, making it easy to forget how many
times in my life I had already heard it.
They
got me tapping my black Valentino Rockstud suede ankle boots. I can't wait to
stand up and show them to Trisha, there's just no room right now. It's really a
shame that they are partially hidden under a pair of black stretchy straight
legs, but they rock with my cowl neck, sequined top.
We
applaud for the performers when they finish. I notice that our waitress had
been part of it all, which explains why our drinks still haven't come yet.
"So,"
Trisha starts, "you've been living with Justin for like three months now,
right?"
I nod
eagerly. I was hoping she would ask me this, waiting like a cat with a mouse to
share.
"I
think this is the first time I've seen you without him in weeks, so now I can
ask you. How's that going? Honest, girl to girl answer."
Excitement
roils through me. "I'm loving it!" I can barely contain myself now
that the gates have been opened.
Trisha
smiles and pumps her fists joyfully for me in the middle of the noisy
restaurant.
"It's
so much better than I had hoped. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still being
cautious. I still have my apartment—I just never use it. He's keeping me very
comfortable, he’s such a sweetheart."
I can't
tell her everything he does, no matter how much I want to. She still only knows
him as Justin; the gorgeous,
former
man-whore with the boring insurance
job. She doesn't know anything about the businesses that he owns, or the power
that he has.
"I
figured it was going well. You two always look so happy. And you're fucking
like maniacs."
I
snort-laugh—loudly. "Oh. My. God."
"What?"
she laughs. "Was it supposed to be a secret? Because you haven't walked
right in forever, so it's obvious. With that dirty little smile plastered all
over your face everywhere you go."
My
sides hurt from laughing so hard. I wish I could tell her the truth about my
leg, and the real reason I have a different walk right now, but it's kind of
fun having a girlfriend that understands my sex life.
No one
knows about the "Gym." That's just for us.
"You
are so bad," I tell her. "But, yeah, it's going
great
there,
too."
"He's
such an animal," Trisha teases.
Our
waitress brought our drinks now, in two very tall glasses. "Here you go,
Ladies. Summer in a glass."
"You
did really good out there," I said to her, making her beam.