“He’s alive, Mom,” Jenna said. “Remember that. He’s still with us. He’s going to make it through this just fine.”
“That’s true,” Gavin said. “Dad’s one of the toughest guys I’ve ever known. He’s going to fight.”
She nodded, glanced at each of them. “I’m so glad I have all of you.” Then she shifted her gaze to Tara and Elizabeth. “And the two of you, too. I don’t know what I’d do without you all in my life. You give me such strength. I’m going to need all of you to get through this—to get Jimmy through this.”
“We’ll all be here for you, Mom,” Gavin said. “Whatever you need.”
She swept her palm across his cheek, then kissed him and hugged him.
“I’m going to go see your father now before they get his room ready.”
Gavin exhaled, dragged his fingers through his hair. He didn’t even know what time it was, what time they’d gone to sleep last night, or what time Jenna had called. It felt like there was a boulder tied around his neck, dragging him down.
“Someone needs to convince Mom to go home and get some sleep.”
“I’ll take her,” Jenna said. “She’ll probably want to stay up here with Dad tonight, so she’ll need a shower and a change of clothes. I’ll make her something to eat.”
Mick nodded. “We can do shifts up here with her so she’s not alone.”
“I don’t know that they’ll allow more than one family member at a time in there,” Elizabeth said. “ICU usually only permits one or two. CCU might be different. You might want to check.”
Mick narrowed his gaze at her. “And now you’re an expert on hospitals? You just know everything, don’t you?”
Tara laid her hand on his arm. “Mick . . .”
He shrugged it away. “What’s she doing here anyway, Gavin? Just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean she’s family.”
Tired, wired on bad coffee, and worried about his dad, Gavin didn’t need this right now. But he understood Mick probably felt the same tension. “Whatever beef you have with Elizabeth doesn’t belong in the halls of a hospital. Dad wouldn’t want this, and Mom sure as hell doesn’t need it. Let it go.”
“It’s okay. I can go. I don’t want to be the cause of family tension when you all need to be rallying around your mother.”
Gavin swiveled and grasped her arm as she turned to leave. “You’re here because I asked you to come with me. You have as much right to be here as anyone else.”
“Gavin, really, it’s all right. Your brother doesn’t want me here. I’ll go.”
“Nonsense, Elizabeth. I want you here. You’ll stay.”
Gavin turned at his mother’s words. She stood outside the door to his father’s room, looking small and lost, but her eyes burned fire as she looked at Mick.
“Michael, this is the last time I want to hear you say an unwelcoming word to Elizabeth. Is that understood?”
Mick gave a curt nod.
“I need all of you here. I need all the support I can get right now, and that includes Elizabeth, who I consider family. It’s times like this that forgiveness is more important than anything. Come here, Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth walked slowly over to Gavin’s mother, who wrapped her arm around her.
“You’ve been family a long time. Remember the talk we had. You’re always welcome around us. Gavin will need you now more than ever.”
She lifted her gaze to his mother. “I’ll do whatever I can to help all of you.”
She kissed the top of Elizabeth’s head. “Thank you.”
“Mom, let me take you home so you can take a shower and get some clean clothes,” Jenna said. “I figure you’ll want to stay with Dad.”
She nodded. “I’ll wait until he gets settled in a room. The nurse said that might take several hours, and I don’t want to leave him alone in there. You can run me home after he gets moved. The rest of you, go home and get some rest and something to eat. When Jenna and I are ready to leave, I’ll call and one of you can come up here and sit with your dad.”
It was hard to leave his dad—and his mom—but Elizabeth pulled him away, and they headed back to her place so he could pick up his SUV. She grabbed a change of clothes and followed him to his house.
He let her inside, wanting nothing more than to just crash and sleep for like twelve hours. Or maybe twenty-four.
“I’m going to fix you something to eat.”
He raked his fingers through his hair, not even able to think. “I’m just going to sleep.”
“You need to eat something first because if your mom calls you won’t eat then.”
He sat at the table, too tired to argue with her. She had scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast on a plate in a hurry. He downed the glass of orange juice and dove into the food, not realizing how hungry he was until he’d cleaned his plate.
“I was starving.”
She scooped the last of her eggs onto her fork. “Obviously. Would you like more?”
“No, this was enough. Thanks for cooking for me.”
“You’re welcome. Not quite the gourmet cook you are, but I can manage the basics.”
He leaned over and kissed her. “You cook just fine. Now let me help you with the dishes.”
She laughed. “I can handle those. I’m sure you want to take a shower, maybe change clothes.”
He pulled her against him. “What I really need is to sleep. At least a couple of hours.”
She took his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. He felt like he was on autopilot, like none of this had really happened.
He sat on the edge of his bed and kicked off his shoes, stared down at his feet.
Elizabeth sat next to him, silent but there.
“He’s not old enough for this, Lizzie.”
She rubbed his back. “I know.”
“He’s so strong, always out there playing ball with us or tinkering around with something or working at the bar. I thought he’d live forever.”
“He’s still here, Gavin. He’s going to be fine.”
He stood and moved to the window. It was daylight now. Hell, he didn’t know what time it was. He barely even registered what day it was. Sunday? He had a game today.
“I need to call Coach, let him know what’s going on. I have a game this afternoon.”
“Already taken care of.”
He turned to her.
“I called him when you were in with your dad. They have you covered. Coach said not to worry about a thing.”
He nodded. “Thanks.”
“It’s okay to fall apart, Gavin.”
He blinked, looked at her. “What?”
“You don’t have to be the big, strong man. Not in front of me. I’ve known you too long for that.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She came up behind him. “You’re crushed about this. You’re father could have died.”
The ache was a constant, but he was glad she was there to help him through it. He wrapped his arm around her.
“There’s nothing scarier than the possibility of losing someone you love.”
Where was she going with this? He frowned, looked down at her. Tears shimmered in her eyes.
She had no family, none that counted anyway.
Except his.
He pulled her around to face him. “It’s okay to love them like they’re yours, Lizzie.”
Her bottom lip trembled.
His tough Elizabeth, never one to show weakness to anyone. She had to be everyone’s rock. Who was hers?
“Baby, I’m okay,” he said.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
He drew her against him, and she let out a hiccup of a sob, and he realized she was the one who needed to fall apart.
“It’s okay. Let it go.”
She shuddered, then gasped, clutching the back of his shirt as she wrapped her arms around him and released into a full cry.
Oh, damn. It was gut-wrenching hearing her sob out her heartache over his dad. Tears pricked his eyes as he held on to her while she wept. He stroked her hair, kissed her head, held tight to her, and let her cry it out. And with every tear she shed, he realized that the shell she kept around herself all these years was nothing but a façade to protect herself.
This was the real Elizabeth.
She had a heart. She had feelings. She cared.
She cared about his family, about him. She cared about his father, his mother. She even cared about Mick, and she’d made a mistake, a mistake she’d paid heavily for.
And she’d had no one to lean on when she fell.
She sniffed, pulled back, and tilted her head to look at him. Despite the tear-streaked face, she’d put the shell back on, because she was smiling again.
“I think I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”
He swept his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the remnant of a tear. “You did.”
“I’m sorry, Gavin. I didn’t mean to fall apart like that.” She tried to pull back, but he wouldn’t let her, held her there in his arms.
“You’re entitled to care about my father.”
“Of course I care about your father.”
She was trying to brush it off as something less than what it was to her. He wasn’t going to let it go that easy. “Sometimes the world falls apart. Sometimes your world falls apart. And it’s okay for you to let people in and let them see you crumble.”
She lifted her chin, her barriers back in place. “You didn’t crumble.”
“Didn’t I? You’ve been leading me around for hours now. I wouldn’t have been able to find my way to the hospital, let alone my dad’s room, without you guiding me. I was in a haze, Lizzie. I couldn’t have done it without you helping me.”
She blinked, droplets clinging to the spikes of her lashes. Her eyes were wide pools of sea green, mesmerizing him. Her lips parted, and he suddenly wanted to offer her comfort and maybe take some for himself.
He brushed his lips against hers. Without question she kissed him back, her soft hands at his back switching to her nails digging in as the quiet kiss turned more demanding.
Passion flared, and need arose. Hunger flashed between them, and Gavin pushed her onto the bed. Elizabeth pulled off her top, kicked off her sandals, and scooted back on the bed, already drawing her Capris down her hips while he tore his shirt over his head and reached for the button and zipper of his jeans.
She had her bra and panties off by the time he was naked. He climbed onto the bed and grabbed her, needing the feel of her skin against his. It had only been hours since they’d made love, but his need for Elizabeth was like a hunger that hadn’t even come close to being satisfied. Only she could give him what he needed. He needed to get lost inside her, to shut out what had happened at least for a little while, to feel nothing but pleasure, nothing but her heart beating against his, his cock swelling inside her, her heat surrounding him.
She held out her arms, and he came to her, already hard. He slid inside her and put his mouth on her mouth, driving away everything but her touch, her taste, her skin against his. Her moans and the way she lifted against him were all he needed right now.
She wrapped her legs around him, and he drove against her, lifting up on his hands to look down at her as her gaze met his. Her lips parted, her lids partially closed as he shifted and ground against her, making sure to rock his body against her clit. He wanted to take her there, to make her come so she’d shatter around him.
She scored her nails down his arms, the sensation rocketing to his balls. He shifted and drove deeper inside her, reaching for one of her legs so he could push her knee against her chest, needing to be deeper inside her.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
He dropped down on top of her, slipped one hand underneath her, and pressed his lips to hers. His balls tightened as he felt the rushing train of his climax approaching. Her tongue wound with his, and all he could think of was being alive. The only thing that mattered at this moment was being here with Elizabeth, being one with her, losing himself within her, inside her as she moaned against his lips. Her pussy convulsed around him, and then she was coming and so was he. He tightened his hold on her and let go, groaning as he came with hard thrusts, burying his face in her neck and knowing there was no one he could let go with like this but Elizabeth.
After, he kissed her neck and her earlobe, and tunneled his fingers in her hair before lifting up to look at her.
“Thank you.”
She smoothed her fingers over his brow. “You’re welcome.”
Instead of jumping out of bed to grab a shower and change of clothes, he pulled her against him, stroked her hair, and kissed the back of her neck.
“Do you need to go? Do you have work to do?” he asked.
“Nothing that can’t wait.” She turned to face him, pulled the covers up over them both, and laid her head on his chest. “Sleep, Gavin.”
He was out as soon as he closed his eyes.
TWENTY
ELIZABETH HAD BEEN GLUED TO GAVIN’S SIDE FOR THE past two weeks. She’d told him there was nothing so pressing with her work that it couldn’t be rescheduled or handled by phone and laptop.
The Rivers understood his dilemma with his father and had pulled someone up from the minor leagues to take his place at first base. There was no way Gavin was going to leave his father’s side right now.
The surgery went fine, thank God. Seeing his father after had just about done him in. Hooked up to oxygen and IVs and beeping machines, his formerly robust, rock of a father had been reduced to something Gavin hadn’t wanted to admit.
His father was human. Vulnerable. He could die. Mortality wasn’t something Gavin ever wanted to think about, especially where his parents were concerned. It wasn’t time yet. It wouldn’t be time for a while. A long while.
He spent every second he could at the hospital, helping his mother out until she told him he was becoming annoying, which was okay because he knew how stressed she was. Between him, Mick, Tara, and Jenna, they made sure she was never alone. One of them always stood by her. His dad slept a lot after the surgery, or at least he tried to. When he wasn’t sleeping, he was either being poked and prodded by the nursing staff or hauled off somewhere for some test.
How the hell were patients supposed to recover in the hospital when the staff never let them sleep?
They’d dragged his dad’s ass out of bed the day after surgery, something that surprised the hell out of Gavin. He and Mick even questioned the nursing staff about it, and Mick went on the hunt for the cardiac surgeon, certain the nurses were out of their goddamned minds. But the staff assured them the sooner they got his dad out of the bed and walking around, the quicker he would recover.
Four days post surgery, his father was walking up and down the halls, no longer connected to tubes or IVs, and eating solid food again, something his dad was damned happy about. He’d been anxious to go home. The doctor had said maybe the next day if he continued to be a pain in the ass and a medical miracle, and performed as well as he had been. His dad said he’d run around the damn nurse’s station if that’s what it took to get him discharged.
That made Gavin smile. His dad cranky and impatient? Yeah, that sounded normal to him.
True to his word, his father had walked the entire floor. They’d discharged him the next day.
Maybe his mother could get some sleep at home.
They’d been home for three days, all of them going in and out all day long. Jenna, Tara, and Elizabeth had made a grocery store run the day they’d brought his dad home so Mom wouldn’t have to worry about having food in the house. Since Dad wouldn’t be able to take the stairs for a while, they’d set up the downstairs guest room as their master bedroom for the time being, something Dad hated but he’d just have to deal with. At least he was home, and he was happy about that.
Not that Mom was going to let him prop his feet up in his favorite chair and veg. She had him up twice a day for walks around the house and in the backyard, the best he could do the first week. She was like a drill sergeant. She had his schedule mapped out and knew what to feed him, knew what his exercise schedule was down to the hour and minute of the day, knew what pills he was supposed to take and when his doctors’ appointments were. And she at least allowed her kids to help.
Jenna had gone back to manning the bar since they’d enlisted aunts, uncles, and cousins to take over while they were standing vigil at the hospital. The bar didn’t run itself, though, and Jenna was itching to get back to work.
Gavin, not so much.
Gavin sat in the living room with his dad, Mick, and Elizabeth. Tara had taken Mom to the grocery store to pick up a few things.
They were watching a baseball game. A Rivers game to be exact. It was a doubleheader against San Francisco.
“The first baseman they brought up from the minors is pretty good.”
Gavin acknowledged his father’s comment, trying not to pay attention to the hotshot twenty-one-year-old scooping up the grounder and dashing to first base for the out.
“He’s decent.”
Elizabeth squeezed his shoulder. She sat on the edge of the chair with him.
“Might be time for you to get back to work before they replace you with someone younger.”
Gavin laughed. “I’m hardly out to pasture at twenty-nine, Dad. I’ve got a lock-solid contract. The kid there is a temp. They’ll shoot him back to the minors as soon as I come back.”
His dad reached for his glass of water. “I’m doing fine here, kid. You need to get back to work.”
“I’ll get back to work soon enough. No hurry, Dad. And don’t worry about my job. It’s secure. I have a great agent, here.” He patted Lizzie’s hand and stared up at her. She gave him a half smile.
“What? You think I should go back to work, too?”
“I think your father is doing well. It’s off season for Mick. He can be here to watch over your father.”
“Yeah, Elizabeth doesn’t want to lose another meal ticket.”
Elizabeth tensed but didn’t say anything.
Gavin’s gaze shot to Mick. “You can stay out of this conversation.”
Mick shrugged. “I’m in the room. Hard to stay out of it.”
“Mick. Butt out,” their dad said, then turned his attention back to Gavin. “But Elizabeth’s right. I’m right. You need to be playing ball.”
“I’ll get back to it, Dad.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
The Rivers were up to bat. The kid—Chris Stallings—hit a line drive past the shortstop and got on base. Gavin tried not to wince.
“He can hit, too. He’s been hitting the ball since he came up.”
“Because pitchers haven’t seen his stuff. Once they do, they’ll strike him out. He’s just lucky right now.”
Mick snorted.
Fortunately, Tara and his mom got back. Elizabeth left to help them with groceries, and Gavin sank deeper in the chair as Stallings made a couple of diving catches and then hit a home run in the eighth inning to take the Rivers up two runs over San Francisco.
Shit.
Not that Gavin wanted the kid to suck. His team needed to win. But did Stallings have to be so damn good? Gavin wanted his team to win on some of the other players’ shoulders.
“Come on. Time for your walk,” his mother said to his dad after the game.
“It’s a doubleheader.”
“You’ll be back before the second game.” She looked at Gavin and Mick. “Girls are starting dinner. You two can fire up the grill.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He and Mick took the chicken outside. Gavin grabbed a beer, Mick a soda.
“So do you agree with Dad? Should I head back?”
Mick flipped the chicken, then closed the grill lid. “I think you should do whatever the hell you want to do.”
“If it were football season, what would you do?”
Mick lifted his gaze to Gavin’s. “It’s not football season.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s your career, man. We’ve got it covered here, but I understand where you’re coming from. I probably wouldn’t want to leave right now, either. That was some scary shit that went down with Dad.”
Gavin nodded. “I’m afraid if I leave, something will happen and I won’t be here.”
“Can’t stay forever, though. In sports your name and your presence is everything.”
“I’ll know when the time is right.”
“Yeah, you will.”
AFTER DINNER, ELIZABETH HELPED WITH THE DISHES, then went looking for Gavin. She found him out back cleaning the grill.
“Chicken was good.”
He smiled at her. “Yeah, it was.”
“Your mother is awesome the way she’s taken control over everything. How she handles it all . . .”
“She holds up well. She’s got him home, and he’s going to be fine.”
She sat on one of the patio chairs. “Yes, he’s going to be fine. Which means you need to get back to work.”
He paused, stared at the grill. “Not yet.”
“Gavin, you need to work.”
“I’m not ready yet, Lizzie. A few more days, just to make sure he’s okay.”
“You’re not really doing anything here, Gavin, other than driving yourself crazy. Your dad is on the mend. Mick is here to help out your mom. Jenna has the bar under control. Tara is local, too. Your dad has plenty of help.”
His gaze shot to hers. “I said I’m not ready yet.”
“What are you so afraid of?”
“The question is, Elizabeth, what are you so afraid of? That Gavin will be replaced, and you’ll lose more money?”
She turned her gaze on Mick, who pushed the screen door open and stepped out back.
She knew this conversation should have waited until they were back at Gavin’s house. But he’d been so tense lately, and watching that game today had nearly done him in.
He needed to get back to work. Not for her. God, not for her.
For himself.
“Mick, please. Let me have a minute with Gavin.”
“Why? So you can needle him about how important it is that he play for the Rivers? God, Elizabeth, don’t you ever let up? Is the job always number one to you?”
She stood, wiped her hands down the sides of her Capris. “It’s not like that. I was just—”
“I know what you were just. You were just going to convince Gavin that time is money. Play is money. Image is everything, and if he doesn’t get out on the field, he’s losing image points. Possible contract renegotiation position. I know how you think.”
She shook her head. “No, you don’t. If you’d just let me—”
“Can’t you just for one second think about someone else besides yourself and your career and what’s important to you? What about Gavin, my mother, my father? What about what’s important to them? Did you once stop to think that maybe my mom needs Gavin here for emotional support?”
“I did. I thought—”
“No, you didn’t think at all about that. All you thought about was getting Gavin back on the ball field, so millions of people could see him play. God forbid he’s not out there front and center, on television, in the media. I know the game, Liz. I know your game. And this time I’m not going to let you use Gavin to play it.”
Her gaze shot to Gavin, who hadn’t said a word.
Didn’t he know? Didn’t he understand what she was trying to do?
He didn’t. He believed every word Mick said. He thought it was about the money, the PR, the face time. Not about what was best for Gavin the person, what was best for him inside.
Tears pricked her eyes, and she’d be damned if she’d cry in front of them.
“I’m sorry.”
She brushed past Mick and opened the screen door, past Tara and Gavin’s mom.
“Elizabeth. What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry. I have to go.”
Tears blinded her as she grabbed her purse and fled to the front door. She pulled it open and ran to her car, peeled out of the driveway and hit the street. She hoped like hell Gavin wouldn’t come after her.
He wouldn’t. She already knew he wouldn’t.
Gavin had believed Mick. Mick’s words had sunk in, had made sense to him. Otherwise, he’d have spoken up, would have said something, would have stopped Mick from saying those awful things.
But he hadn’t.
Deep down Gavin believed Elizabeth was just as bad as Mick thought she was.
She should have seen it, should have known.
At least now she did.
It was over.
GAVIN WAS SUCH AN ASSHOLE. HE’D STOOD THERE AND listened to Mick make those accusations against Elizabeth and hadn’t said a goddamned word.
So fucking typical, wasn’t it? Mick, the big brother, who always knew what was best, right?
Only maybe this time he was right.
Gavin wasn’t ready to go back to the game yet. Mom needed him. So did Dad. And Elizabeth was probably anxious about Gavin missing so many games. She had his professional interests in mind, not his personal ones.
Didn’t she?
Mick had just stood there and stared at him after Elizabeth ran inside, then said, “You know I’m right about this. Open your eyes and see her for who she really is before she hurts you.”
Then he’d gone inside, leaving Gavin alone out there with his thoughts.
All his thoughts.
Only he wasn’t sure which thoughts were the right ones.
“Gavin, what happened?”
His mother stepped outside, a dish towel in her hand.
Gavin bent his head over the grill and scrubbed. “Nothing.”
“Elizabeth ran out of here, and I’m pretty sure she was crying. That doesn’t seem like nothing.”
He shrugged. “I’ll handle it.”
“Did Michael say something to her?”
“Probably nothing that wasn’t the truth.”
She took a seat on the chair. “Expand on that.”
“She wanted me to go back to the game.”
“And?”
“Mick accused her of selfish interests. That she’s only concerned I’ll be replaced.”
“And you said what to that?”
He lifted his gaze to his mother. “I said nothing.”
“So basically you allowed your brother to insult the woman you love, and you didn’t say a word.”
He frowned. “I don’t love her.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure about that? Because from what I’ve seen of the two of you together, it seems to me you do love her.”
“Don’t tell me how I feel, Mom. We’ve had some fun together. That’s all it is.”
His mom tilted her head and gave him her trademark bullshit look. “You’re so good at denying how you feel.”
He didn’t respond.
“But she’s also your agent. It’s her job to look out for your career.”
“True.”
“And her doing so means she should be lambasted by your brother just because he carries a grudge?”
“That’s his issue to deal with.”
“And you let him continue to do so, with a woman you’ve been seeing and should at least care enough about to defend. I raised you better than that, Gavin.”
He inhaled, let it out, closed the grill, and jammed his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. This is all so complicated. It wasn’t supposed to be complicated.”
He sat in the chair next to hers. She smiled at him and took his hand. “Relationships are always complicated, Gavin.”