Authors: Justine Elvira
I hear the words and spit the little bit of coffee that was in my mouth all over the white linen tablecloth. I start to cough involuntarily as Kelly hands me her white cloth napkin. I wipe my mouth and look up to see five sets of eyes staring at me.
"Sorry, wrong pipe." I'm embarrassed and I can feel the blush coming over my cheeks.
"What kind of sex toys is the distributor in Japan interested in selling?" Jared asks from beside me. I'm confused on why he is even entertaining this idea. He wasn't interested in this before.
My mind is fuzzy and I'm not even sure who talks next.
"If you agree to this we'll look at your most successful online and DVD sales, and market based off that. Women will buy anything with your name on it. We'll also do a mold of your dick and make a silicone replica, piercing and all."
I can't listen to this anymore. I scoot my chair back and stand up at the table. "I'm sorry to be interrupting, but I’m really not feeling well, so I'm going to head home." I look over at the three gentlemen and smile, "It was a pleasure to meet you. I’m sure I'll see you again soon."
I turn around, not even glancing at Jared, and start to make my way out of the restaurant. I can hear Jared mumble something at the table before I hear his footsteps following me. I make it out the front door before his hand reaches my shoulder and turns me around.
"What was that, Autumn?"
"So, I'm Autumn now? It would help if you let me know when I'm supposed to be Autumn, or Billy, or Babe, or just some piece of dirt on the ground you ignore."
"Can we not make this about you for one goddamn second. Why did you just up and leave like that?" He squeezes my arm tighter and I'm pretty sure he'll leave a bruise.
I stare daggers at him, hoping to show my anger in my eyes. "Like I told everyone at the table, I'm not feeling well."
"Bullshit!"
"I don't care if you believe me or not. Now if you'll let me go, I'll be leaving now." I pull my arm out of his grip and he lets me.
"Sir, are you ready to leave?" I hear from behind me. I turn around and see Jared's driver, Tony, on the curb of the street. Jared takes my arm and pulls me to the back door of the town car. He opens the door and gently shoves me inside, following quickly behind me so I have no way to get out.
"Drive around in circles until I tell you to come back to the restaurant."
Jared's driver nods and closes the door behind him. I watch as he walks around the front of the vehicle to the driver's side as Jared raises the privacy panel between his driver and us.
"Won't they be looking for you inside?" I can feel the anger radiating off my skin and I know Jared feels it, too.
"I told them I might be a few minutes."
"Just let me go home."
"I will, once you tell me why you got up so quickly and left."
"I'm sick!" I scream.
Jared gets in my face, our eyes just inches apart. I can feel his breath on my lips. "And I call bullshit! I think you're upset." His eyes flicker down to my mouth as I watch his tongue dart out and lick his bottom lip.
"And why would I be upset?" I seethe.
"Because you're against the sex toy line. You made that clear a few weeks ago and now you think I'm going through with it so you're pissed."
My breathing becomes erratic and I'm upset with my traitorous body that craves only one thing, Jared.
"I couldn't care less if you decide to have a line of sex toys. Let millions of women fuck your silicone dick."
"And that wouldn't make you angry, jealous even?"
His hand comes up to my waist as he pulls my body closer to him so that our chests are now inches apart.
"I. Don't. Care." I enunciate each word so that even a two year old would understand.
"I think you do care. I think you don't want anyone else fucking my dick, real or silicone." He grabs my hand and pulls it to his erect cock, wanting me to feel how hard he is. I don't take the bait. Even though I can't move my hand from his grip, I don't squeeze or stroke him. I let my hand lay limp.
"You're crazy," I whisper huskily, my voice giving away how turned on I am, but I keep my body indifferent.
"You're not jealous?" He asks, his mouth moving in closer and he brushes his lips lightly against mine. It takes every ounce of willpower I have left not to kiss him back.
"Why would I be jealous of a bunch of women fucking your silicone cock, when I've fucked the real thing? They should be jealous of me because I got the real thing."
The words come out in anger and it takes me a split second to realize what I've said. In the next second his lips are on mine and I can't stop it, I can't resist him anymore. All my willpower is gone.
I moan into his mouth as his tongue greets mine. This isn't a soft kiss, or a passionate kiss. It’s an angry kiss. We're both taking out weeks of anger with each other by using our tongues.
I can’t get enough of him. His lips massage mine roughly as his hand lowers to the bottom of my dress. There's no sensual touching, Jared doesn’t kiss me all over my body. He's come to take what he wants.
His hand moves up my thigh until it's on the outside of my thong and he's moving his hand under the thin, silk material. He plunges two fingers into my throbbing center as his thumb moves to play with my clit, moving in circles just the way he knows I like it.
Jared's lips move from mine and he nips my chin with his teeth. His forehead touches mine as we try to catch our breath. "You like that, Billy?"
I don't answer him. I bite down on my lips, trying to hold back all sound.
"Yeah, you do. The only thing that would make it better is if I replaced my fingers with my dick."
I moan with desire. His words are turning me on and his fingers are furiously rubbing at my g-spot, begging me to come, and come quickly. I'm trying to hold back, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of coming on his fingers, but every time he thrusts them forward, my hips involuntarily thrust with him.
"I'd fuck you so hard, rubbing my pierced cock over and over again in just the right place. You know the place, babe? The one I'm rubbing right now. I can feel your pussy clenching, squeezing my fingers so hard, wanting to let go and come, but you're trying to hold back. Don't resist it, babe. Come on my fucking fingers and imagine it's my dick inside you."
My hips start to move and I can't control it any longer. I need to come. I start to fuck his fingers, taking them as deep as possible.
"That's it, fuck my fingers, babe, fuck them hard." Jared's mouth moves down to mine and he kisses me passionately. I kiss him back, my uncontrollable hunger for him never leaving. He bites down on my bottom lip and that's my undoing. I come for him so hard. I ride his fingers until they've taken every ounce of pleasure out of me.
When I start to come down from the high, I see Jared's cold eyes staring at me. With his fingers still inside me, I watch as he hits the button near his door and speaks, "You can bring me back to the restaurant now. I'm going to finish dinner with my companions and you can take Autumn home."
His voice sounds distant and when he removes his hand from the speaker, he removes his other hand from my pussy. His fingers are soaked with my juices and instead of licking me off him; he looks for a place to wipe them off. He decides to wipe them off on the outside of my dress.
"I'd use my own shirt, but I'm going back in public. You're just going home."
I'm confused; he said he loves how I taste. Why didn't he just lick me off his fingers? Or offer it to me like he did our first time fooling around?
I sit up and reach out for his arm. I don't want tonight to end.
"Jared?" I ask tentatively.
He pulls his arm from me and looks my way. "You don't need to explain. You were jealous, you wanted a piece of me and I gave you exactly what you wanted. I gave you exactly what everyone wants, my expertise. I'm glad it was good for you."
The car comes to a stop and Jared climbs out. He ducks his head back in and I can’t control the tears that start to fall down my cheeks, but he doesn't care. He looks at me unaffected. “I'll get the keys from the valet and drive the car you drove here home.”
He shuts the door as more tears fall down my cheeks. Who was that man? It definitely wasn't Jared.
Chapter Twelve
The next week is complete torture. Jared will barely look at me and the only time he communicates with me is if it has to do with work. It hurts more than anything has ever hurt before. It sounds absurd, even to me, but I've never felt this kind of pain before. I miss my friend.
I wake up with the false feeling of warmth and love. When I lift my head I see Jared still sound asleep and on his back. My head and upper body are draped over his chest. This happens every once in a while. We aren't really talking, but we're under some kind of silent agreement that I should still sleep in his bed. As much as it hurts to wake up feeling so content and then it ruined by reality, I can't get myself to go back to Tawny's room.
I shift to move off Jared when I hear him mumble in his sleep, "No, don't go." His arms are wrapped around me as he holds me to his body. It feels good, too good, and I know this moment might not happen again. Instead of fighting it, I relish in these few moments of pleasure. I lay my head back down on his chest and listen to his steady breathing. I can hear his heart beating in his chest and I decide to close my eyes for just a second and enjoy the sound.
I don't know how long I'm asleep for, but I wake up to Jared moving out from underneath me. I open my eyes and watch his backside as he walks into the bathroom and closes the door without uttering a single word.
I don’t know what to do. How can I make things right between us? He won't even give me a chance to make things better. Truthfully, I don't even understand why he's mad at me. I should be the one mad at him. He treated me like crap in that limo. Like I was just another piece of ass and not someone he actually cared about.
I can hear the water running in the bathroom and I decided to get up and avoid any awkward interaction that might happen if I stay in his bedroom. I'll make him breakfast and we can have an awkward conversation in the kitchen instead.
I whip up some scrambled eggs with bacon, toast, and orange juice. I’ve just finished putting the butter on the toast when Jared enters the kitchen.
"I made us breakfast.... I figured we could talk."
He watches me as I carry the plates to the table and sit down, gesturing for him to take the seat next to me.
"I don’t have time for breakfast this morning. I need to be on set early."
I'm quiet for a second, debating how I should approach this.
"Kelly usually picks you up and she's not here yet. Can’t you just sit and eat with me until she gets here?"
He looks over at the clock above the kitchen sink, almost as if to make a point, before he drags his feet and sits down in the chair next to me.
I watch him as he starts to scarf down his eggs.
"I miss you, Jared."
He swallows the helping of eggs in his mouth and chaises it with a sip of orange juice. "I'm right here."
"Physically, yes, but you're not here, Jared. You're distant, we never do anything fun anymore, and we don't talk like we used to. I... I miss my best friend."
There, I said it. I feel a small weight lift off my chest and now I just need to wait and hear what he has to say.
He takes a bite of bacon and chews while I just stare at his jaw as it moves with every bite. "I've been busy."
"Too busy to talk to me? To show me any courtesy? I thought things had gotten better, but they're worse than ever now. I don't even feel welcome here anymore."
"Have I told you that you're not welcome?"
"Don’t do this again, Jared. You may not have said it, but every day you make me feel unwelcome. I don’t know what I did, and if I don’t know what I did I can’t fix it. Tell me how to fix it." My eyes start to fill with tears and I take deep breaths, anything to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks.
Jared drops his fork and turns toward me, his hands move up to cup both of my cheeks. "Don't cry, babe."
"I can't help it. I don't know how to fix things between us."
"I'll fix it, for real this time. I'm dealing with shit; emotions I've never felt before and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to handle you and strictly having a platonic relationship, when every part of me wants more with you."
I look up into his gray eyes and for the first time in a long time I feel hope. I smile slightly, but stop myself from smiling a big goofy grin because there is a huge chance I misunderstood him.
"You want more with me?" My eyes never leave his as I wait for him to answer.
I hear the front door slam and the sound of heals walking across the tile entry way and into the kitchen. Jared's hands drop from my face and I know our conversation is over. Kelly comes storming into the kitchen and slams her purse on the counter top.
"Every day that goes by, you make my job harder. Things need to change, Jared, or I don't know if I'll be able to do this for much longer."