A lump formed in Ethan’s throat. Unlike most people he’d met in his life, Ethan had managed to talk to Calvin. He’d felt drawn to him, comfortable and safe. When he was a kid, he’d pray every night that Calvin would always be with him. He loved Calvin, always had. Only now it was different. The softness of his skin, the plumpness of his lips, the blue of his eyes, his laugh, and his smile stirred emotions inside him he hadn’t felt before. Tentatively, Ethan ran his fingers down Calvin’s jaw.
You’re amazing.
Calvin’s lids fluttered open, his gaze landing on Ethan.
“Hi.” Ethan’s voice was barely a whisper, but it was enough to bring a slow smile to Calvin’s face. That smile took hold of something inside him and shook it loose. Was he really going to risk losing this? Ethan slipped his hand over Calvin’s and drew it to his chest, holding it close. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” Calvin’s smile dimmed. “I’m sorry I got so angry.”
“I’d like to make a pact.”
“Okay.” Calvin looked puzzled, but he waited patiently for Ethan to continue. He was always so patient.
“I won’t take stupid risks, and you won’t walk away from me when you’re mad. I don’t like going to bed with you mad at me. I’ll give you your space until you cool down, but then we talk.”
“You know what a miserable shit I can be when I’m pissed.”
Ethan brought Calvin’s hand to his lips for a kiss, his heart fluttering at the sweet blush that crept into Calvin’s cheeks. “Things between us, they’re the same, but not quite. We have to do some things differently. Work through it like… a couple.”
“A couple of what?” Calvin asked, genuinely perplexed. Ethan chuckled.
“You’re cute.” He kissed the tip of Calvin’s nose. “You know. A couple, in a relationship. Boyfriends.”
Calvin opened his mouth to respond, then closed it when nothing came out. He swallowed hard, his eyes searching Ethan’s. When he spoke, his voice was shaky. “Is that what you want? Because you know I’ll wait. However long it takes, I can wait. You know I’d never push you to do something you weren’t comfortable with.”
“It’s what I want. No more waiting. Though I might not always know what to do.”
“Who does? You really think Sloane knows what to do with Dex the majority of the time?”
Ethan chuckled. “Good point.”
“We’ll help each other. Like we’ve always done. You’re right. Some things have changed, but our friendship, having each other’s back, that’ll never change. You’re still my best friend.”
Ethan leaned into Calvin and kissed him, warmth spreading through him at the taste of his partner. A shiver replaced that warmth when Calvin parted his lips, inviting Ethan’s tongue inside. Kissing Calvin was still so new, touching him even more so. With every caress, with every touch of their lips, Ethan grew bolder. He wanted more, wanted to experience every inch of Calvin. He loved the noises he made, the way he shivered under Ethan’s touch, the way his skin flushed and made his freckles stand out. Ethan loved Calvin’s freckles. He planted kisses down Calvin’s neck and pushed his T-shirt to one side to kiss his shoulder. His skin was so soft and smooth. Ethan moved his hands down to caress Calvin’s arm before slipping his hands under Calvin’s T-shirt.
On Valentine’s Day they’d bathed together. Ethan had wanted to make the night special. He’d been romantic, leaving pink rose petals on the floor leading to the bathroom, where he’d been waiting for Calvin in a bubble bath surrounded by illuminated candles. It was his way of showing Calvin he was serious about being more than friends. He’d gotten Calvin off in the tub that evening, and Calvin had returned the favor after they’d gotten out. Since then, they’d gotten each other off, kissed and cuddled, slept in each other’s beds, but they’d been hesitant to take things further.
Ethan gently pushed Calvin onto his back and rolled over him, mindful of his weight as he pressed Calvin into the mattress. He’d dreamed of having Calvin beneath him, writhing, begging him to fuck him. Ethan remembered the way Calvin had trembled when Ethan had softly ordered him to come that Valentine’s Day in the tub. He’d have to remember that. Ethan kissed Calvin, a deep, hungry kiss that showed his partner how much he wanted him. Ethan thrust his hard erection against Calvin’s thigh, making him moan. With a smile, he whispered in Calvin’s ear.
“I’d like to fuck you.”
Calvin’s soft gasp was music to Ethan’s ears. His partner nodded, gently pushing at Ethan’s chest so he could sit up. Ethan sat back on his heels, and they made quick work of their clothes, throwing them to the floor before they brought their lips back together in a frenzied kiss. Ethan wanted to taste all of him. This was a whole other side to his best friend, one he was eager to explore. Ethan nipped at Calvin’s neck as he palmed Calvin’s hard erection.
Calvin gasped, arching his back. “Please.” He pointed to the nightstand. Foreplay might have to wait for another night when they were both a little less impatient. Ethan quickly found the bottle of lube inside the drawer. He didn’t bother with the condoms. Neither of them had been with anyone since the Fourth of July that had changed everything, and they had always been safe. Both were tested regularly at work, and their most recent tests once again came back clean. Calvin didn’t even question it.
Ethan’s heart was racing, his pulse going at full speed. There were butterflies in his stomach, and he swore he’d never seen anything more beautiful than the man lying naked before him, exposed and begging for his touch. Ethan lubed up his cock as he knelt between Calvin’s legs. He bent to kiss Calvin’s lips and took hold of Calvin’s cock, stroking him as Ethan pulled at his own dick. Calvin moaned and writhed, his cheeks flushed pink in the dim lighting. Ethan released Calvin and lined himself up with one hand while taking hold of Calvin’s leg with the other. He slowly pushed himself in, groaning at the sweet pressure of Calvin’s tight hole.
Ethan hadn’t expected Calvin to be so tight. It felt incredible and raw at the same time. He paused when his partner hissed at the pain of being stretched by Ethan’s girth. Calvin took a deep breath and nodded. Being as gentle as he could, Ethan pushed in little by little until he was settled inside Calvin to the root. Sweat beaded his brow, but he took it slow. He hooked his elbows under Calvin’s knees and gingerly pulled out before pushing back in.
Oh fuck, Cal.
Ethan started to move his hips, his fingers tight around Calvin’s legs. Calvin grabbed fistfuls of the bedsheets as Ethan began to move a little quicker. He watched himself pulling out almost to the tip before plunging back in, forcing a surprised cry from Calvin. The sound sent a shiver through Ethan, and he felt his feral half stir. Calvin had made similar sounds with Felipe Bautista. Ethan let out a deep, feral growl. He lowered himself onto Calvin and grabbed his wrists. With a hard thrust that made Calvin gasp, Ethan pinned Calvin’s wrists above his head.
“You’re mine,” Ethan hissed, his thrusts growing deep and fast. “I don’t want him to ever lay a hand on you again. You spread your legs and your ass only for me.”
Calvin arched his back, his whole body trembling with need. His lips were parted, and his breath came out ragged as Ethan pumped himself into him, the sound of skin slapping skin urging Ethan on. He wanted Calvin to feel him for days, a reminder of who he belonged to. The feral beast inside Ethan roared and clawed at him, enraged by the thought that someone else might make Calvin come.
“Say it,” Ethan ordered, pulling out and then plunging himself deep into Calvin’s ass.
“Oh God! I’m yours, Ethan. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Ethan sucked on Calvin’s neck, leaving his mark before moving his lips up to Calvin’s jaw. He nipped at his stubble, then Calvin’s ear. He fucked Calvin hard, the bed rocking beneath them and Calvin’s wrists tight in his grip.
“Ethan, please. I need you to touch me.”
Ethan obliged. He released Calvin’s wrists and took hold of his cock, his other hand buried in Calvin’s hair and holding on. Ethan’s stroke matched his pace as he fucked Calvin. Nothing had ever felt so damn good. He could feel himself tumbling down the abyss, falling into this addiction, and he welcomed it. He grabbed one of Calvin’s hands so he could take over the task of getting himself off. Ethan took a pillow and stuffed it under Calvin’s hips before pushing both of Calvin’s legs up against his chest. Calvin let out a soft cry as Ethan held his legs in place and pounded into him. He rotated his hips and changed his angle. Calvin cried out, ribbons of come shooting out onto his stomach.
Damn, he was gorgeous. Ethan felt his orgasm building inside him. His hips lost their rhythm, and his thrusts became short and hard, his muscles straining and the sweat dripping down the side of his face as he chased after his release. It slammed into him, and Ethan folded himself over Calvin, slipping his arms under Calvin’s shoulders and taking hold of him. He brought Calvin down hard against him as he thrust in, Calvin’s sharp cry sending Ethan over the edge. He gasped as he came inside Calvin, thrusting deep a couple of more times before slowing down. His muscles relaxed, and a heavenly haze washed over him as he gently pulled out. He collapsed onto his side as he tried to catch his breath.
Calvin let out a breathless laugh. “Fuck, man.”
“Yeah,” Ethan replied, feeling a little giddy as well. He lay on his back staring at the ceiling with Calvin next to him doing the same. His skin cooled, and he rolled over with a groan. Calvin wasn’t going to be the only one sore in the morning. Ethan was disarmed by his partner’s beautiful smile. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
Calvin’s cheeks went even redder, and Ethan sat up.
“Cal?”
Calvin sat up and bit down on his bottom lip. He looked embarrassed.
“What’s wrong?”
“I liked it. You being rough. In control. Demanding.”
Ethan couldn’t help his dopey grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Calvin lay down, and Ethan joined him, wrapping him up in his arms.
“Is that okay?”
“Of course it is. Whatever turns you on turns me on. And fuck, you turn me on.”
Calvin looked up at him, his smile shy. “You think maybe we can research a few things? You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I want it to be good for the both of us.”
Ethan thought about the way Calvin responded to him, the way Ethan had relished Calvin’s response. It had been easy for him, to be in control. He realized then that in here with Calvin, it was the only part of his life where he felt he had any control at all.
“You want to give up control to me?”
“Every day, the decisions I make on the job affect someone’s life. When I’m looking through the crosshairs of my scope, the whole world comes to a standstill, waiting. I have to be in complete control of everything. Of my emotions, my thoughts, my actions. I don’t want that in here with us. I don’t want to be the one who takes action, who decides. I want you to do that.” He looked up at him, hopeful. “Do you think you can do that?”
Ethan put his hand to Calvin’s cheek. “Yes.” Whatever Calvin wanted, Ethan would do his very best. Without Calvin at his side, he was only half of a whole. He couldn’t imagine his life without the man in his arms, nor did he want to. He needed Calvin the way he needed air to breathe. He put his lips to Calvin’s and kissed him. Out there the world was a terrifying place, but in here, feeling Calvin’s lips on his, everything was perfect.
WHERE DID
he even start?
Ethan didn’t know the first thing about bondage. The closest he’d ever come to tying anyone up was when he apprehended perps. From the looks of things, he’d have to do some research. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Calvin. He also wanted it to be good for his partner. Seeing as how said partner was in the canteen, Ethan decided to take a moment to look some stuff up and get a general idea about how much research would be involved. He put his browser in privacy mode and started typing. The amount of websites out there on the subject was staggering. How did he know which ones he could trust? He came across something called Shibari, and it immediately piqued his interest. Tapping on one of the images of a blond man tied up very elegantly with red rope stirred something inside Ethan, not to mention in his pants.
Oh my.
He could see his partner tied up like this, the ropes a sharp contrast to his fair skin. It was artistic, which suited Calvin.
“The Art of Shibari?”
Ethan nearly jumped out of his skin. He’d been so absorbed in the images in front of him that he hadn’t seen or heard Dex approaching. “What’s wrong with you?” Ethan growled quietly.
“According to some,
lots
, but let’s talk about more exciting things, like bondage.” Dex leaned his elbows on Ethan’s desk and wriggled his eyebrows. “You’re just full of surprises. So, I take it you and Cal have been getting jiggy with it? Doing the horizontal mambo. Playing hide the sausage.”
Ethan groaned. “Please stop.” His face was burning, and he quickly swiped his hand on the desk to close the image of the tied-up blond man.
“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this is for Cal. I knew he had a freaky side.”
Ethan arched an eyebrow at his friend.
“The quiet ones always do,” Dex replied with a wink.
Ash walked into the room, and Ethan didn’t have time to minimize the Shibari website before Ash saw it.
Damn it!
“You guys are finally banging. Good for you. Cal likes it kinky, huh?” Ash leaned over to study the open website. “Fuck, man. You need a goddamn engineering and medical degree to figure that shit out. Your boy couldn’t be into something simpler, like blindfolding or something?”
Oh my God, was Ash talking to him about sex? Did someone put something in the water? Had Dex finally cracked him? What was going on around here? Ethan was about to reply when Cael popped his head into the office.
“Hey, what’s going on?” He squeezed in between Dex and Ash, giving Ash a poke on his side and making him chuckle. “Whatcha all looking at?”
Really? Anyone else?