Cassandra Austin (19 page)

They spent the rest of the morning in bed, touching, loving and resting. It was hunger that finally drove them out. Christian rose first, hung his Sunday clothes away and dressed. He was well aware of Lynnette, lying on his bed, watching every move he made.

“Does this suit your sense of style?” he asked, tucking his favorite shirt into his tightest pants.

She smiled. “Perfect. If you must get dressed at all.”

“I need to eat,” he said, joining her on the bed. “I need to keep up my strength.”

Her eyes twinkled at the promise in his voice. “Martha left a lunch for me. I’ll share it with you.”

“Up,” he said, snatching the blanket off her. “I’ll help you get dressed.”

He buttoned an occasional button, but mostly he watched the layers go back on, covering her body from his view but not from his memory. She returned to her room to fix her hair, and he went to the kitchen, searching out enough bread and cheese to stretch Martha’s lunch to feed them both.

He was setting the kitchen table when Lynnette joined him. He turned to greet her and found her in his arms. They indulged in a long lingering kiss. Too soon the others would return, and they would go back to their roles of soon-to-be brother and sister. But now,
as they shared the meal, they pretended they belonged to each other and would share all their tomorrows.

On Tuesday night, Lynnette slipped out to the barn to meet Christian for the fourth night in a row. She didn’t know how much longer Arlen would stay away. She vowed to treat each night as if it were the last.

Christian had other ideas. After they had satisfied each other and lay cuddled together in the narrow bunk, he ran a finger across her lips and whispered, “I won’t let you go.”

She felt tears sting her eyes and turned away from him. “We’ve talked about this, Christian. We can’t do it to Arlen.”

“What about what it’s doing to me?”

She took a moment to answer. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Christian. But she had known she would since she had declared her love up on the rocky hilltop. “If I stay with you,” she began slowly, “Arlen would blame you. It would kill the love I’ve seen between you. Your father and sister would have to choose. I would be responsible for destroying the family.”

“This family’s been fractured for some time.”

His fingers idly stroking her shoulder made it difficult to concentrate but she had to speak her mind. “Do you think it can handle another blow? Can Emily?”

She heard him sigh. “Then let’s both go away. We can leave the family to comfort each other. I’m not vain enough to think I’ll be missed for long.”

She wondered if he thought she was being vain to
think her defection would wound Arlen so deeply. But how many times had he called her his life? Still, there was Taggart to consider. She wasn’t sure how real the threat was to herself, but she knew she couldn’t put Christian in danger.

“But you’d miss the ranch,” she whispered. “How long before you blamed me for taking you away from it?”

He was silent for a long moment. His hand moved from her shoulder to her breast and he caressed it gently. “Do you know what I’ve thought about for the past two nights?”

His words were a warm breeze against her ears. She shook her head slightly as silent tears wet her cheeks.

“Loving you. Completely. Giving you the one thing I’ve held back. If I filled you with my seed, would that bind you to me? Would it make you stay?”

She shook her head, choking back a sob.

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

She felt his sadness in his touch but knew it couldn’t be any greater than her own.

M
idmorning the next day, Lynnette stood on her balcony and watched Christian ride away. Earlier, before she left his arms, he had told her that he would be gone all day checking cattle, but promised to be back by evening.

Even after so many days it seemed incredible. Christian was in love with her. She let the sweetness of that knowledge wash over her for a minute before turning back into the room. Arlen might even now be on his way home. Her time with Christian could already be over.

She looked around the room that had begun to feel like her own. Her trunk stood open against one wall, her writing materials already packed inside. She knew she wouldn’t be writing anything but tragedies for a while. Maybe someday the tender feelings she had for Christian would make their way into a book, but she found happy endings hard to imagine.

She decided against any further packing until Arlen had come home. Her need to pack might serve as an
excuse to stay one more night. One more night with Christian.

She was becoming too melancholy, she decided. She should go downstairs, see what everyone else was doing, find some way to busy herself.

The girls were using the dining room table to cut out Emily’s new dress. Rose seemed to have the task well in hand, and Lynnette left them chattering happily.

Martha wasn’t in the kitchen so Lynnette tapped gently on the study door. She and Hugh had shared more than one companionable afternoon reading quietly together. Hugh answered immediately.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she said as she entered.

“Not at all,” he said. “What can I do for you?”

“I thought I might read in here if you don’t mind.”

“You’re more than welcome,” he said, offering his well-stocked bookshelves with a gesture.

She stepped to the shelves, and Hugh turned back to his work at the desk. She was reading in a comfortable chair in the corner of the study when a commotion at the back door caught her attention.

“That must be Arlen,” Hugh said as he set his pen aside.

Lynnette did her best to smile in return. She took a moment to close the book and return it to the shelf before following him out of the study.

“Felicia!” She heard Hugh’s greeting as she stepped into the room. “This is a delightful surprise.”

“I’m not sure how delighted you’ll be when you’ve heard me out,” she said. “I’ve been most distressed.”

Lynnette barely noticed Felicia, or Arlen for that matter. Julian Taggart stood with the other new arrivals. He looked every inch the city gentleman on a social call. His hair was slicked back, his clothes, despite the journey, were immaculate. His smile reminded her of a snake. Lynnette felt her skin crawl.

She was half-aware of Arlen making the introductions and Hugh’s questioning glance. The girls joined them, and Emily ran to hug her mother.

Emily offered to get some lemonade, and Felicia told her to bring it to the living room and wait for them there. She would speak to the others alone.

Lynnette’s mind was screaming,
Why is he here?
She wanted nothing so much as to run and hide. Instead, she followed Felicia and the others into the study.

When everyone was in, Felicia closed the door and Hugh moved chairs for everyone’s comfort. “What is this about?” he asked.

“Miss Sterling,” Felicia began, speaking to Lynnette for the first time. “This young gentleman paid me a visit last week. I can see you’re quite shocked to see him. And you should be. You didn’t tell Arlen that you had promised to marry Mr. Taggart.”

Lynnette gasped. “Marry Julian! But I…”

“Well, my dear, Mr. Taggart has told me something of your misunderstanding. I’m sure you can work it out amicably. He seemed like a reasonable young man. But that’s only half of what I came to talk to you about. The rest concerns a book.”

Lynnette took a deep breath. “Of course. The book. I should have told everyone about it sooner.” She
watched Arlen as she spoke, not wanting to dwell on Julian’s presence. “I meant to tell you, Arlen.”

“Feel free to do so now, my dear,” Julian said, clearly enjoying himself.

“I wrote a love story,” she offered, “of a somewhat…scandalous nature. It paid some bills, and I had plenty.”

“Scandalous may not describe it so much as common,” Felicia said.

Hugh laughed. “Does that mean it’s popular? Perhaps congratulations are in order.”

Lynnette gave her champion a smile. “I’m afraid that’s not the point. I kept it a secret, and I shouldn’t have.”

“My dear,” said Felicia. “I quite understand your need to raise funds as well as your need to keep it quiet But naturally Arlen would never have agreed to marry you had he known.”

“Mother,” Arlen said, coming to his feet and pacing around the room, “it’s not just the book. I’ve known for some time that things weren’t going to work out. I didn’t mean to deceive you, Lynnette, but some things have made me wonder about the wisdom of taking you for a wife.”

He came to kneel in front of Lynnette’s chair. “I’m not putting this at all well. Try to understand. I had serious doubts, but because of your situation, I was determined to hold to my promise. But now Mr. Taggart has come. He’ll take care of you.”

Lynnette stared at him. She wasn’t leaving with Julian! But she would take one thing at a time. “Arlen, I’ve known, too, that we weren’t right for each other.
That’s what I wanted to talk to you about before you left this last time.”

He seemed to only now remember that she had asked to speak with him several times. “Yes, well, I was somewhat confused,” he muttered.

She couldn’t help but smile. “I was afraid of hurting you.”

Felicia cleared her throat. “I’m glad that’s settled. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m ready for some refreshment.”

She started for the door, but Julian’s voice stopped her. “I’d like a word alone with my intended, first.”

“I’m not your intended,” Lynnette protested. A cold look of warning on Julian’s face silenced her.

“We’ll only be a few minutes,” he told the others.

Felicia and Arlen seemed unconcerned as they filed out of the room. Hugh hesitated until Lynnette nodded her consent.

As soon as Hugh had closed the door, Lynnette rounded on Julian, choosing to take the offensive. “How dare you tell Felicia that I had promised to marry you.”

“But you did, darling,” he said, all innocent smiles. “Don’t try to pretend that you aren’t Silver Nightingale. I saw the notes in your parlor.”

“That book is a work of fiction. If you see yourself in it, it’s your imagination!”

“Come, come, my dear.” He walked toward her, and she tried not to cringe. “No need to pretend with me. I’m your Julian Robert. So clever of you to use my middle name.”

She thought of the second postscript, of her heroine,
dead in her hero’s arms.
Now we will always be together.
The man was mad. She had no idea how to handle him. “What do you want?”

“You, my dear.” He reached out a long finger and stroked her cheek. She brushed him off, and he grabbed her shoulders. “Do you think you can abandon me for someone else? That silly politician, maybe? You won’t change his mind about not marrying you. No one will vote for a man whose wife writes dirty books.”

“You heard me agree to break the engagement” She hoped that would make him turn her loose, but his grip only tightened.

“I can still ruin him, you know. The fact that you were ever associated with him would hurt him. And, of course, there’s this.” One hand released her and he pulled aside his coat, revealing a pistol in a shoulder holster.

She stared at the gun in horror. Was he capable of murder? She didn’t want to trust that he wasn’t She feared for the whole family, and she was the reason he was here. She needed to lead him away before anyone was hurt.

“Please, don’t,” she said, not expecting her plea to have any effect on him. She would do whatever he said and look for a chance to escape later. She was enormously grateful that Christian was gone. She knew he would try to stop him, and Taggart would kill him. Her own death seemed preferable. “I’ll do whatever you say. Don’t hurt anyone.”

“Now you’re being sensible,” he said, backing away and straightening his coat as if he had been the
one assaulted. “Go tell the nice folks goodbye. I’ll visit with them while you pack your trunk, then we’ll be on our way.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“Why, home, of course.”

Christian spurred his horse toward home. In what seemed like record time, he pulled to a stop in front of the barn. An unfamiliar buggy waited near the house. He hoped this unexpected visitor wouldn’t keep him from Lynnette.

The living room was full of people. The first to register on his mind after the certain knowledge that Lynnette was not present, was Arlen. He sat in cozy conversation with Emily and Rose in one corner of the room.

In another corner a stranger talked with his father. Between the men sat his stepmother. “Felicia.” He stopped in his tracks. He hadn’t seen her in years.

“Hello, Christian,” she said, coming to her feet and gliding toward him. “You look just like your father did at your age.”

There was a wistful quality to her smile he didn’t quite trust. “You look the same as ever,” he said, kissing the cheek she offered.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You haven’t met Mr. Taggart. Julian, this is our other son, Christian.”

Christian gave the stranger little more than a glance. If Felicia had finally found another husband and had come to ask for a divorce, the less he knew about it the better. Besides, he had other things on his mind.
“Where’s Lynnette?” He directed his question toward his father.

It was the stranger who answered. “She’s in her room packing to leave.”

“Leave?” She had told Arlen, then. But his brother didn’t look particularly heartbroken. His laugh mingled with the girls’. He shook his head. Lynnette wasn’t leaving.

“With me,” Taggart added. Christian studied the stranger for the first time and disliked him instantly.

“She’s my fiancée,” Taggart went on. “Didn’t she tell you?” He straightened a ruffle-trimmed cuff before gloating up at him.

Christian turned away before he was tempted to wipe the smirk off the man’s face. He crossed the room and took the steps two at a time. Taggart’s voice drifted up to him. “My, my. Everyone seems to fall in love with the chit.”

He didn’t bother to knock on the door. If it had been locked, he would have kicked it in. As it was, he swung it open hard enough to make it bounce off the wall. She dropped the garment she had been folding and stared at him, one hand on her heart, the other at her lips. He tried to get his breathing under control. His anger was directed at the man downstairs, not at Lynnette. Fiancée, he had called her.

“Are you really leaving?” He walked toward her, pointing back toward the stairs. “With him?”

She turned away and continued her packing. “Yes, it’s true. I’m sorry, Christian. I never meant to hurt you. Julian’s an old beau. It was his letters that Arlen brought last Friday.”

“The day before you slept with me?” Nothing made sense. He felt as if he had been thrown from a horse and hit his head. He couldn’t catch his breath and the room seemed to tip.

“I never intended to let you leave,” he said. “Arlen will forgive us. And if he doesn’t, so what? You’re all I care about.” He moved closer, but she brushed past him to put a stack of clothes in her trunk.

“Try to understand, Christian. It’s over between us, and it has nothing to do with Arlen.”

“And everything to do with
him?
” He pointed back over his shoulder toward the door and the odious man downstairs.

She spun around, her face stony white. “I told you. Julian’s an old beau. We had broken off, but he came all the way out here to find me. I’m overjoyed to see him again.”

He stared at her until she lowered her eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

She actually laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “Think, Christian. Can you really imagine me as a rancher’s wife? Out here so far from town? I need to go back where I belong.”

She turned away again, as if her packing was the only thing that interested her. He sat down on the bed and watched her. After a long moment she spoke again. “You were a fling, Christian, and I enjoyed it. I’m sorry if you thought it was anything more.”

“You planned to go back to
him
all along.” He was surprised that he could keep his voice even.

She didn’t turn around again. When she closed the
trunk’s lid and lifted her two small bags, she spoke. “Would you and Jake carry this down?”

“No.” His fingers itched to touch her. He crossed his arms, tucking his hands safely against his chest. “Let your precious Julian do it.”

He could see part of her profile, but her eyes were hidden by her lowered lashes. She bit her lip, the only sign of guilt. “Please trust me that this is for the best,” she said before she left the room.

Christian didn’t move. What had he been to her? A character for a book? An education?
He
was certainly wiser now.

He was still sitting on the bed when Jake and Arlen came for the trunk. They were obviously curious why he was there. Not wanting to talk to anyone, he rose and walked onto the balcony. He braced his arms against the railing and hung his head. He had offered to give up this ranch, his home, his family for her. She had offered him nothing but a lie.

His own bitter laugh sounded foreign to him. He had held back, denied himself to protect her. Had she manipulated that somehow? It didn’t seem likely. She must have had a good laugh over it, though.

He heard voices below him and watched Arlen and Jake load the trunk into the boot of the buggy. Emily was there to hug Lynnette goodbye. He heard her thank Hugh for his hospitality and nearly laughed again.

As she walked to the buggy, Taggart at her side, she looked up. He met her gaze coldly, and she stopped. Taggart turned as well, but Christian ignored
him. He stared Lynnette down until she looked away. It wasn’t nearly as satisfying as he had hoped.

Soon the buggy rattled out of the yard. He heard the door below close and assumed his family had gone back inside. Still he stood where he was. He remembered back to the first day he had met her, barely two weeks before. He relived every glance, every word, looking for hints of her deception but found none. She had seemed more genuine than any other woman he had known. And he had loved her. If the pain he felt was any indication, he still did.