Authors: Fiona Kidman
In the firelight, the chief Oaoiti stared at me, and I could tell by his gaze that I pleased him.
Whatever it was they had talked about, my fate had been decided.
It is some twenty miles or more down the coast to the twin pa of Waimate and Orangituapeka, home to Ngati Ruanui. The first time I walked there with Oaoiti, I thought we would never reach the other side of the bush. As I followed him, he kept a steady
pace, pausing only now and then to let me gain my breath. To look at the bush you might think there were no paths but I soon realised that an occasional tree had its trunk smoothed, a twig broken and that the undergrowth varied in its thickness. Still, it would have been difficult for someone who did not know the way to follow what might be taken for a path.
Waimate and its twin pa were built on rocks that stood alone, not unlike Te Namu, but much higher. Each pa was built on the edge of cliffs dropping hundreds of feet to the black beach. Orangituapeka was the taller, and better fortified, which I believe is one of the reasons John Love stayed there. But it was at Waimate that I met my son again. Waimate was very crowded, with two hundred or so houses forming streets that made me think of the Rocks. Smaller buildings were cloaked with turnip and kumara growing over the gable ends of the roof, so that they formed a pretty leafy canopy. I walked around Waimate with Oaoiti's two sisters. They were handsome women, older than him, and I could see that he was something of a pet with them. The pair of them fussed over me and patted me, stroking my pale skin and smiling. All the while I was with them, I was desperate to see John, but I understood that he was being brought to Waimate, and I must wait. There was to be no haste. The two women showed me the meeting house; it was intricately carved and so beautiful I must describe it to you. The walls were woven with cane around the whole room, and divided horizontally into squares with strands of plaited grasses, crossing four smooth and polished poles at regular distances. All of these were supported by a framework of arches, which soared to a ridge-pole at the top, surrounded by three carved pillars. This is the most beautiful building I have ever seen, more beautiful than the churches in Sydney with steeples and spires, or the Governor's house. And in the end, it is thanks to me that it fell. But I will come to that.
My reunion with John was difficult. Two months had passed and that is a long time for a child as young as he was then. My son looked at me with mistrust when he first saw me. An elderly
man called Mapiki presented him to me as if I were a visitor who must keep a respectful distance. John was dressed in a handsome cloak, as befitted the son of a chief. He glowed with good health, though I did wonder if he'd been over-fed.
I said, Darling, it is me, your Mama.
He nodded his head gravely. Kei te pehea koe, he said greeting me in Maori, as if he had never known English.
John, you haven't forgotten me, have you, I exclaimed.
This time he shook his head with impatience, as if I was asking silly questions.
Talk to him now, the old man said. Hone is due for his rest soon.
Surely that is for me to decide, I said. I am his mother.
Mapiki looked at me with regret, as if I had wilfully misunderstood.
John came over to me, and gave me a small kick on the shins. I was so shocked I raised my hand in chastisement. Mapiki caught my hand before I could deliver a well-deserved slap.
We stood glaring at each other. I let my hand drop.
I'll go now, I said dully. To John, I said, Mama will come and see you again soon. We can walk on the beach together and gather shells.
At that he gave a little grin, like the boy I knew. I gave him a wave, and he waved back to me. For some reason, I didn't kiss him.
Oaoiti was waiting for me outside. Can you walk back today?
I said that though it was a long way, I would like to make a start. I should be getting back to Louisa, I said, though I knew she was being looked after at Te Namu. He nodded his head, as if he understood my need to get away from Waimate. The night being fine, we could rest if need be.
Do you feel better? he asked after awhile.
Better and not better. I'm sad that he didn't want to come with me. But I'm happy that he's well and I know he'll be safe with the old man.
We had stopped for a moment and I leant against him, wanting the reassurance of human warmth. I felt him tremble violently, as he had the night we had talked on the edge of the cliff.
Before we had gone very far I knew my legs would carry me no further. Oaoiti took me to a sheltered place where we could lie down. He had brought a gourd of water, and some dried fish which we ate before he covered us over with mats. I then took my sweet ease in the comfort of his body.
How did I know that you were in love, Adie?
Because I know what it feels like, to fall in love. It had never happened to me before. I fell and fell and fell.
We deplore the extreme indifference of the legislature in affording
ample protection to British interests in New Zealand where they are
hourly liable to savage violation. We implore the immediate attention
of the legislature on behalf of our countrymen, thus
surrounded by danger
.
The plight of Mrs Guard and her children is dire. Citizens can
do nothing else but insist that every effort is made to effect their
rescue without delay
.
Sydney Morning Herald
J
OURNAL
OF
J
OHN
G
UARD
Sydney, Port Jackson, 17 August
    Â
I swear all I wanted was to get a ransom so that I could rescue wife and children.
When we sailed past the Taranaki coast the men on board were good mates and gave me extra tots of rum and tobacco. They will get their comeuppance those natives, you need not worry yourself Captain Morris said to me. I knew there was naught he could have done to quell the storm that had prevented me from landing. Weather is weather. What has happened is a
disgrace a terrible thing he said, and we will see it is put to rights.
But some things are never simple as everyone knows.
Soon after we arrived at Port Jackson a Captain Anglim off the
Lucy Ann
had come aboard and talked to Captain Morris. The
Lucy Ann
had been involved in a fray further south in New Zealand where 500 natives of Cloudy Bay had attacked a shore whaling station. They had done several assaults on the whalers broken open their boxes and stolen whatever took their fancy. 1 of the chief's children got sick and died, which was put down to the visit of the
Lucy Ann
bringing bad luck. A threat was made to destroy the ship and kill all the white men.
Captain Anglim had acted swiftly. He invited some chiefs to come on board the ship. Then he sent a message to say they wd only be returned if the lives of the white men at the whaling station were spared.
When he got no answer he sailed away. So here was a pretty pickle. The
Lucy Ann
had a hold full of Maori warriors while I was aboard the
Joseph Weller
seeking to set my family free.
The two captains called on me.
Guard said Morris, you are the man to help sort out all of this.
Me I said. I must get my family back. I can sort out nothing until that is done.
These outrages must stop said Morris. We need the military to step in and put a stop to all this nonsense.
Anglim was in agreement. I never got the full measure of Anglim a clean-shaven man with a blue-black look around his long chin and narrow eyes.
I do not see that the military will get my wife and children back I said. All I want is to take the ransom to the Taranaki tribe.
No said Anglim it needs more than that. You pay them a ransom and we will never hear the end of it. They will be looting our property and taking hostages left right and centre. Their claims will become more and more outrageous. It is up to you Guard to go and see the Governor.
I said I do not think the Guv being a gentleman wd want to see me. I reminded them that though I am a free man all the same I have been a convict.
You have a mistaken view of this matter said Anglim. Governor Bourke is all for emancipation. He looks kindly on those who have done well. Men like yourself.
And why is that I asked. Why wd he bother.
You know very well said Anglim in a dry voice that he was brought out here after Governor Darling was so harsh towards convicts and ticket of leave men, which led to so much trouble and rebellion.
I served my ticket of leave many years ago I said in an angry voice.
It is all right Guard said Morris. We know that. Darling did not acknowledge that men like you have done well and so he went in a cloud of hate. Bourke sees all men as equal when they have done their time. He believes in their rights.
More likely I said it is because we bring in the money.
Morris went bright red for he is not a man to hide things well. I wd not put it that way he said. Times change. You are a good skipper.
Then said Anglim in his smooth way, the British have put in their representative Mr Busby into the Bay of Islands. I dare say you have met him.
I had met the British Resident, a man lean of face and short of hair with bushy black eyebrows that he raises in a superior way.
Yes I told them, in my view he is a toothless bugger. This man was sent by the King a couple of years back to keep law and order in New Zealand. He lives in the Bay of Islands which is a long way from Cloudy Bay. He does nothing to keep the savages in check I said. He is more interested in missionaries than traders. Whenever I see him he is in conversation with Mr Williams the missionary who is printing Bibles and converting the heathens into Christians.
Well Morris said all reasonable, you know Busby is under
several instructions. He's supposed to guard the Maoris against Europeans as well.
That is all a load of cock I said. You cannot do both at the same time.
Anglim said that is why they call him Man-o'-War Without Guns.
I should have seen what was coming I suppose. But the fire raging in me had blinded me to sense.
At present New Zealand does not belong to anybody but the Maoris Anglim said, and someone needs to take a hand in bringing them under control. It is time Mother England taught them a lesson. The best thing you can do is go to the Governor and ask him for some ships that carry guns.
You mean the redcoats I said, my tongue feeling thick and stupid.
They nodded their heads.
There is nothing to lose Guard and everything to gain. What do you think they will have done to your wife by now?
I was told at Moturoa that she would be returned in exchange for a ransom.
But how can you be sure of that? She is held at a different pa by people of a different tribe.
Well that is what I was told I said. Although I knew what they said was true. Look I said I know the Maoris better than you.
Which is all I had to go on. That they wd want the reward.
The 2 men looked grave. I wanted to smash their heads full of tidy tongues and fair talking. What they had in their minds was as mucky as any seaman's thoughts, beneath their spit and polish.
And my head was full of the same thing.
I know they are using me for some other game. But today if it will get my wife and children back I am past caring.
18 August
Should have gone to the house in Cambridge Street last night,
but instead slept aboard the
Lucy Ann
. You need a good night's sleep Anglim said. And you must rehearse what to say to the Governor.
I will just tell him straight I said.
There is more to it than that. You must make a statement. A bold statement.
I began to like all of this less and less. I woke up feeling groggy. A cloud was sitting on my shoulder. Whatever was coming there wd be no turning back. I could see that if I did not play along with them Anglim and Morris wd forsake me. I have no ship I have no money nor have I any way of getting back to Taranaki if I do not play along now.
I knew some time soon I must take myself down to the Rocks and tell Harriott Deaves that her daughter was taken captive and her son dead. But I did not have the balls for that yet.
The word captive spun in my head. And still I had to tell Mr Campbell another ship had gone down to Davy Jones' locker.
I have written a letter for the Governor said Anglim when we had ate our breakfast.
I looked at what he had put. The letter put a request in very civil terms that we should meet with the Governor for the good of our whole colony.
There he said, I have put your name and mine. Do you sign with a mark or your name?
I took the quill without a word and signed the letter. He knew full well I could write. How else could I be a sea captain and keep a ship's log. Equal be damned. His every action was meant to show that he was my superior. He is naught but a sealer just like me. A convict will always be that to men who arrived free in this country. But he will not get the better of me.
19 August
No word from the Guv. It is early days yet. But I think he will tear up the letter Anglim sent. I do not believe anyone will listen. I took myself this evening to the Rocks. It felt strange and rare
to be walking amongst those small houses, after the open spaces of New Zealand, the sea and the bush.
I found Harriott looking prosperous. Deaves must be doing all right. Harriott had a new glass lamp with lustre hand-painted on the rim. Harriott's lamp is engraved with 2 words Remember Me. It gives a good light. Or it did of which more shortly.
I wd like to give Betty a lamp like that I said.
Well why don't you said Harriott. She looked in blooming health and the thought crossed my mind, perhaps she has another man. They are like that some of that family.
I stood and admired the lamp for a long time for I did not want to tell Harriott about Betty and David and the 2 children.
I walked to the other side of the room and leant my head against my arm and said what I had come for. Harriott aimed the lamp for my head but it hit the wall and shattered all about. The flame inside wd have leapt the wall and burnt the house down had I not stamped on it with my foot and crushed the glass into the rug.
She stood there screaming so loud I had to shake her to shut her up.
Then I went to Cambridge Street and told Charlotte Pugh.
She looked at me like I was a madman or wicked.
She said at the top of her voice so the whole street could hear, I didn't give her to you to have her raped and murdered.
Get out I said. You have lived long enough in my house. Take your brats and bugger off.
And she did. I suppose she has gone to the Deaves' house and they can all muck and shout together and good riddance to them.
You look like death warmed over she said as she left.
20 August
An invitation has come from Government House to take dinner with the Guv tonight. Anglim arrived on my doorstep this morning. I had slept late and badly again. When I heard him banging
on the door I thought it was Charlotte come back to get her belongings.
Go away I yelled out but the noise did not stop.
I will kill you for sure I said and opened the door.
Anglim's face was full of disgust for the low life looking at him.
You best clean yourself up Guard he said and handed me the letter from the Guv. It was written in copperplate writing that shows the hand of quality driving the pen. The paper was thick and the crest gold.
We have right on our side Anglim said.
When he was gone, I put on clean clothes and combed my hair and beard. It was none too soon for there was another knock on the door. A man wearing a brown hat and a hairy brown jacket stood on the step.
Good morning Captain Guard he said, respect in his voice. My name is Ralph Wallace and I am a correspondent for the
Sydney Morning Herald
. I wd like to find out more about the awful things that have befallen your family.
That is my business I said.
No sir said this man, his foot firm on my doorstep. I have to disagree with you. Now that your story has reached the Guv'nor it is of interest to everyone.
I do not want my name in the newspapers I said.
Captain Guard it is too late. Your name will be printed today whatever you say. If you will but talk to me a little it will be the better for your cause. The public will have much sympathy for a reasonable man in his hour of distress. If the people are behind you it will strengthen the Guv'nor's arm.
You had better come in and sit down I said.
That was the beginning. I am now a famous man with a famous story to tell.
By the time I made my way to the Guv's house the first edition of the paper had come off the press. There was people lined along the street hoping to get a look at me.
Evening of 22 August
As soon as I arrived at Government House I found Kentish and his wife, the ones we had given shelter to at Cloudy Bay. I could not take my eyes off Ivy Kentish for she looked nothing like the sad sack that had stayed with us just some months before. She was pink like a china doll in her muslin dress. A great contrast to her previous pitiful appearance. She clung to my arm and said in a little girl's voice Oh Jacky, as if we was the best friends in the world, this is such a terrible thing and my heart is simply breaking when I think of my poor friend Betty.
There were several important men at table. They were friendly enough and the talk all about horse racing at the park and the coming of spring while there was ladies present. We had potted pheasant and beef cooked with oysters and a rhubarb pie. It was some time since I had had a good meal and I felt as hungry as the devil so it was hard to eat as slow as everyone else.
I must tell you Ivy Kentish was babbling to the company round the table Captain and Mrs Guard were such willing hosts even though they were
down
to their last potato. Such kindness I will never forget.
Our hostess Mrs Deas Thomson looked at Ivy with a frown. As if she had spoken out of turn. Ivy blushed and cast her eyes down but then I saw she was looking at me sideways. I thought she is making eyes at me that is what she is doing and I became all fingers and thumbs at my dinner for it is some time since that has happened. Mrs Deas Thomson is the Guv's daughter a very lively lady. Her husband had struck some trouble for Governor Bourke had got rid of the old man who was the Clerk of Council before and put in his new son-in-law in his place. It does not matter to me. Deas Thomson seems a good fellow.
There was no other women you wd call handsome. The woman on my right picked at her dinner. She was a governess called Miss Adeline Malcolm on the wrong side of 40 perhaps 50 and she looked round with eyes hungrier than her appetite. Her name rang a bell in my memory and I thought this is the woman
who taught my Betty to read and write but I could not bring myself to talk to her. You could tell she wd latch on to any little thing to find out more about you. What a commotion she wd make if she was to know her part in Betty's life. And I recall she and Betty did not always get along so well together so I could not be sure what she might have to say. As it was she went on and on saying I am so sorry Mr Guard. I am sure your poor wife will be safe though God only takes the best. She was trying not to weep. As I didn't know her particular line of sorrow I said nothing. I wanted to close my eyes again.