Caged Wolf (Wolves of Willow Bend Book 2) (6 page)

Vivian
…

Chapter Four

Everyone left. No explanation, no advice, no wait here while they fetched a car to take her home, nothing. They simply left. She sat on the edge of the bed for thirty minutes before she realized they might not be returning. Leaving her perch, she walked on shaking legs to the bathroom, pausing to glance between the blinds on the room’s only windows.

All green grass and trees as far as she could see. Trembling, she made use of the facilities, then paused to study her reflection in the mirror. Her mouth was still sore, but the swelling seemed to have retreated. Whatever Gillian did to her worked.

What did she do? She touched my arm, I got warm and the pain went away.
Maybe she’d only imagined the pain to begin with. She’d not seen any evidence of injury.
Except the other woman had her hand over my mouth and nose.
Touching two fingers to her nose, she tested the skin. It tingled, but nothing more sensitive than a mild sunburn.

It’s not totally out of the realm of possibility that I am having a full and complete psychotic break.
Maybe she’d imagined all the people—imagined A.J.
Did I imagine being kidnapped?
A blackout. Could she have blacked out, driven to the middle of nowhere and then entertained this utter flight of fancy? Not three years ago, she’d experienced episodes exactly like that.

Always the woods, too. Once she’d driven nearly seventy-five miles and parked next to a lake. When she woke, she’d been sitting at the water’s edge, staring up at the moon. The location had been beautiful, heart wrenchingly so, and utterly remote. Medication had helped. Getting some semblance of control over her life had, too. She’d thrown every ounce of her energy into freeing A.J. and the episodes became fewer, and farther in between.

So, it makes sense I’m having one now. He’s free, but all the stress is still there…
The idea brought a semblance of comfort with it. “Okay, need to find my keys, go back to the apartment and finish packing.” A plan. She needed one, she had one, and she could do this.

After splashing some water on her face, she abandoned the bathroom. The front room turned out to be as sparsely decorated as the bedroom she’d been in. The rough-hewn construction of the cabin gave it a quaint,
Little House on the Prairie
vibe while at the same time the fabrics and furniture style spoke of hand-crafted luxury.

I really hope I didn’t blow my savings on the hotel fee.
She could find neither her purse nor her keys in the living room. She had no suitcase, either. Maybe she’d left all of those items in the car during her
kidnap
delusion. Her heart fisted in her chest and she swallowed, trying to ease the lump in her throat. A delusion was better than reality, right?

A.J. wasn’t human, nor were his brothers, brutal truths she’d learned one bloody night. So not being taken by their people should be a good alternative, but if she had manufactured it all—then A.J. hadn’t been in the doorway. He hadn’t been trying to reach her.

She wouldn’t see him again.
God, let it go. Seriously, Vivian. Say nothing. Don’t even think about it, don’t focus on it, escape the harsh truth.
Opening the front door, she stepped out into the dappled sunlight and drew in a breath of fresh air. Real, clean air, perfumed with pine, woods, and grass. Closing her eyes, she tilted her face up to the sunshine. Regret threaded through her. It was almost a pity she would need to leave wherever the hell this was. The cabin was nice and the quiet…

“Vivian.” The bubble around her wobbled.

Squeezing her eyes tighter, she tried to ignore the frenetic thud of her heart.
He’s not here, remember? It’s wishful thinking.
 

“Are you all right?” The years had ground his voice down to sandpaper roughness. Hollowed out by the need to make her fantasy a reality, she tried to breathe around the emotion clogging her throat.

“You’re not real.” Maybe if she told the delusion, it would stop. The first step in mental health was to accept her reality. Wasn’t that what Nathanial had told her? She escaped into these fugues because she didn’t want to believe the unfairness of her life. They were symptoms of her overall condition. “You’re not real. I’m going to open my eyes and you won’t be there.”

A hand cupped her cheek and she jerked her eyes open. A.J. stood inches away, his dark blue eyes clouded with concern. This near, she couldn’t miss the deep grooves around his eyes and mouth. The gauntness of his face stretched too tight against his bone structure. Her cheek tingled beneath the light touch of his fingers.

“You’re not real,” she said, but she wasn’t so sure this time. Hadn’t she just wanted her delusion to be true? It had never been so crystal clear before.
Except for the part when the woman grabbed me…
 

“I feel that way sometimes.” He curled his fingers, retreating from the contact. Bereft from his abandonment, she almost sighed when he brushed his knuckles down her cheek. “You had a cut here, when I first saw you. A slice that bled. This,” he traced a line beneath her eye, “was swollen. Promised to be puffier and dark.”

“A.J.?” Torn between wanting to be in the moment and for the delusion to let her go, she stretched her hand toward him. Still, she hesitated. “Why am I doing this to myself? You’re not real.”

His eyebrows drew together in a frown. Capturing her hand, he brought her fingers to his face. The bristles of his unshaven cheek rasped her skin. “Did you hit your head?”

It took a moment for his question to sink in. His skin was warm, the bristles rough, and the puffs of his breath tickled along her wrist as she gave into the urge to explore. “What?”

“Did you
hit
your head?” He cupped her face, and stared into her eyes, his gaze searching and intent.

“No, at least—I don’t think so. Are you really here? Am I really here?” How insane did she sound? “I mean…I’ve had episodes. Is this an episode or did your people really kidnap me?” Okay, maybe she sounded really crazy. She bit her lip. “Linc was there—and a man named Owen and some woman. I’d never seen the others before. I tried to run, but she caught me and covered my mouth and I think I passed out.” She swallowed hard, silencing the rush of information escaping.  

“It’s not an episode. You are here,” he said, sliding his hands down to rest on her shoulders. “I’m sorry they scared you.”

“They didn’t.” Not totally a lie. She’d scared herself more than they did except— “A.J. that man said he wanted to put you on trial again. Why? I found a way to save you…why do they want to punish you again?”

“It’s not important.” After a light squeeze, he withdrew his touch and backed away a step. The haunting darkness in his eyes drew her attention over and over. No matter where she tried to redirect her gaze, she couldn’t stop staring at him. He looked like hell.

I should have gotten him out sooner.
“I should have spoken up, told them the truth.” He’d endured hell because of her. “It was my fault.”

“No.” He closed the distance once more. “I told you to stay silent. You did what you were supposed to do.”

“You didn’t—” But she couldn’t finish the sentence because he’d placed a finger against her lips.

“Not a word.” His voice softened, lowering to an almost intimate level, but she couldn’t mistake the order for anything else. “The woods have ears.”

Ears?

Dragging her attention from him, she scanned the area. They were alone or…were they? Fear pumped fresh adrenaline into her system and she started to shake.

“Shh,” A.J. whispered against her hair. Oh, he was holding her. She wrapped her arms around him. He’d always seemed so much larger than life and, even desperately thin and haggard, he encased her in strength. “They won’t hurt you. No one is going to hurt you.”

The world spun out of control and she danced on the precipice like a madwoman. “No, I can’t be here.” She struggled, pulling away from him. Not that it was much a fight. He released her immediately. “I’m supposed to be on the road to Arizona. I’ll get my car, get in my car and go. They’re expecting me at the facility there. It will be good for me. Yes. Good.”

Don’t look at him. Don’t talk to him. Don’t even begin to entertain the possibilities being close to him aroused in her. She needed to go, to escape.

“I’m starting over there. Nathanial helped me find a great place, I can get treatment, and I can have an apartment and a safe environment. They won’t let me wander off or disappear. It will be good. I’m going to get a job and I’m going to reclaim my life.” Yes. Exactly what she needed to do. Except…where was her car? She looked around the clearing hosting the cabin. The building itself was larger than she’d first imagined, two stories and home to a gorgeous, homey porch right down to the rocking chairs.

“Arizona?”

“Yes, the Grand Canyon State. Open land, beautiful temperatures. Hot summers, but you know summer should be hot and new. It’s all new.” She trembled. Where was her car? “Where’s my car? It should be here. I drove myself…or they drove me, someone had to get me here. Maybe a bus station? Though I’m not sure where my purse is.” Raking her fingers through her hair, she fisted it and tugged. The pain on her scalp helped to ground her. A nervous habit, one she wasn’t supposed to do anymore. She’d actually torn out some of her hair once, inflicted bloody injuries. They’d restrained her when she’d done that.

She released her hair. She didn’t want to be restrained again. “I’m sorry, I really do have to go.”

“Vivian.” So much emotion wrapped around her name and she stopped when he spoke. She was halfway across the clearing, uncertain of where to go. “You can’t leave, not yet. I’m working on that. You have to stay here. It’s safe…this cabin, it’s for you.”

“No, it’s a cabin and I’m not going to be living in a cabin.” Why couldn’t she stop shaking? Dampness splashed onto her hands and she touched her face. She was crying. No, she didn’t cry. Not anymore. No more tears. No ripping out her hair. No more delusions. “I’ve got to drive to Arizona. I need to go back to my apartment and get my things.”
Be away before I spiral out of control.
 

But no matter where she looked, she didn’t see her car, a road or even a path. Surrounded by woods, she couldn’t even hear vehicles suggesting where a road might be. Her heart thundered in her ears, and the pounding seemed to knock on her ribs as though trying to escape. Pivoting slowly, she turned until she faced A.J.

“Where am I?”

“My home,” he answered with a wealth of sorrow. “In Willow Bend.”

She smelled better than he remembered. Being near her soothed some ragged, dark part of him he couldn’t even begin to label. After the others had left, A.J. settled next to a tree and simply soaked in the quiet. No stink of other prisoners. No constant drone of the electronics keeping the doors sealed. No murmuring of a hundred other voices—nothing. He’d heard Mason chatting amiably with Gillian as they left. Gillian’s sparkling cheerfulness, even in the face of being told ‘no,’ echoed behind her.  Tyler had been less interested in obedience, but with A.J. telling him to go and Mason ordering him, his brother had no choice. Owen hadn’t bothered to disguise his displeasure at being told to keep his distance.

Three different responses, three different wolves and every single one of them pack. The experience rubbed at his fur, pushing it in the wrong direction. Did it irritate him because the experience was alien or worse, because it used to be familiar? He hadn’t seen Linc, though Mason promised he was alive and well, just under a form of house arrest.

His parents wouldn’t be happy when they learned of A.J.’s decision. The cabin occupied a small plot of land on the far edge of Toman Carlyle’s—now his mate’s—property. She’d granted Mason’s request to use it. The phrasing had struck A.J. as odd, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. All of these thoughts twined together in his mind, and he chased them in a circle. Better to hold onto those disparate ideas than to focus on the woman inside the cabin.

He had no idea what to say to her. Maybe he could stay, watching over her until the pack determined she could go. It would be safer for her—then the door opened. Her reaction worried him, dragged him further from the darkness he’d been living in.

“What do you mean, Willow Bend? Where the hell is that?” She bit down on her lower lip. Her teeth worried at the skin and left it reddened and scraped. When he’d seen her through the door earlier, she’d been bruised. Apparently Gillian had taken care of the injury before she left. The healer’s apprentice didn’t seem to have much apprenticeship left if she could heal humans.

“It’s just a town.” He wanted to ease her upset. The bitter stench of fear roiled around her, souring the tart strawberry sweetness he associated with her. Her tears were killing him. “Where I grew up.”

“I don’t see a town.” She wavered, turning in circles. “All I see are woods.”

He’d thought being with her alone would be easier. At least he wasn’t worried about her physical safety at the moment. “It’s for privacy.” He didn’t want to talk about that part anymore. “Why Arizona?” That was Sutter Butte territory—far from where he would be able to go to find her. Not without getting permission from Mason for the trip and from the Sutter Butte Alpha to enter his lands.

“Because it’s far away.” The hitches in her breath punctuating her words worried him. “I need to go home, A.J., I’m not supposed to be here.”

“I know. I will get you home, I promise.” If it cost him his life, he would make good on his word. “You need to calm down now.” Catching her arm when she would have continued her manic pacing, he tugged her toward him.

She was shaking.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”
Never.
Concern fisted in his gut and he ducked his head to try and catch her eye, but she kept avoiding him. “Vivian, no one will hurt you.” He would say it a thousand times, if only he could calm her agitation.