The last thing she had wanted was to leave on bad terms. But his suggestion of marriage and his inability to see how important it was to keep her clan together, irked her. She paused with her hand on the handle to the door. Speaking to him over her shoulder, she said, “Caelen, I need ye to know that today has been both the happiest and saddest day of me life.” She swallowed back the tears and took a deep breath. “I do love ye, Caelen McDunnah. But I canna be with ye as yer wife or mistress, or anythin’ else.”
Without waiting for a response, she pulled the door open and left.
C
aelen had
to admire her determination to not break the vow she made to her clan. But that did not mean he would not do everything within his power to make her his wife.
Why couldn’t she see the benefit of her clan joining his? He could protect her, he could protect her people. Why was that so difficult to understand?
She left him standing naked in the middle of the room, dumbfounded with her level of stubbornness. Any other woman would have jumped with unrestrained glee at becoming his wife.
But Fiona McPherson was not like any other woman.
Bloody hell.
“Fiona!” he called out to her as she stepped out into the hallway. “Wait!”
Finding his clothes scattered on the floor where he’d left them hours ago, he pulled on his trews first before heading out to stop her from leaving. His heart pounded, fearful it might lose the one woman he could say without equivocation that he loved.
Unconditionally.
Without regard to anyone or anything else.
He loved her.
Rushing out of the room, he went after the woman who had stolen his heart, and if she left, the very life from his soul.
C
aelen bounded
down the hallway calling out Fiona’s name. He rounded the corner and slammed into a confused looking Phillip.
“Out of me way,” Caelen thundered as he tried to push his way around Phillip.
“Nay,” Phillip said as he grabbed Caelen’s shoulders. “Let her go.”
Caelen shoved Phillip aside and ran toward the stairs. Fiona was just reaching the bottom step when he called out for her again. “Fiona! Wait!”
She paused only briefly to glance at him over her shoulder.
He saw it then, the pain in her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. He could also see her profound determination.
Her mind was made up.
His wasn’t.
Caelen started toward her until she crossed her palms over her heart and mouthed the words
I love ye
. A heartbeat later, she turned and fled.
He would not, could not accept her belief that there was no way for them to be together. Certainly they could work together to find a way. As he took another step toward the stairs, a strong hand reached out and grabbed his arm to pull him back.
“Caelen, let her go,” Phillip said in a low, calm voice. “If ye love that woman, ye’ll need to let her go.”
“I’ll do no such thing, Phillip,” Caelen ground out. “And if ye value yer life, ye’ll remove yer hand.”
Phillip shook his head. “Ye must let her figure it out, Caelen. If ye force her to make a decision now, ye’ll both regret it all the rest of yer days.”
Caelen pulled his arm from Phillip’s grasp. “What do ye ken of it?” he demanded.
“I ken ye love her, any fool can see it, Caelen. I’ve been speakin’ with Brodie. She’ll no’ give up the helm, she’ll no’ break her word to her people. Fiona loves ye, but she’s fightin’ a battle with her heart now. Do no’ make her choose between ye or her clan, lad, fer yer certain to lose.”
It pained Caelen to no end when he realized Phillip was right. If he tried to force Fiona to make such a decision, he would not end the victor. But what was he to do? She was fleeing his keep as if it were on fire. How could he stop her from leaving?
“What do ye suggest I do?” Caelen asked through gritted teeth.
Phillip rested a hand on Caelen’s shoulder. “Let her go. Let her come to the decision on her own.”
Caelen swallowed hard, his heart slowly cracking bit by ugly bit. “And if she does no’ choose me?”
Phillip smiled warmly. “She’ll choose ye, Caelen. She’ll choose ye.”
I
t had
to have been the longest ride of her life. Fiona refused to shed a tear in front of her brother or her men. Instead, she would bottle them up and save them for after they arrived at their keep. For a time when she was alone and could wallow in her pain without an audience.
The closer they drew to her home, the more her heart shattered. She reckoned that by the time they made it home, her heart would be nothing more than tiny, miniscule pieces of dust.
Had she known in advance that it would hurt this much to leave Caelen, she never would have allowed herself to succumb to his touch. Nay, she realized that wasn’t true. It had been the most enjoyable, wondrous, exciting few hours of her life and she’d not give one moment of it back just to ease her aching heart. ’Twas far better to have one moment of something quite special, than to live an entire life of nothing.
“What did Caelen do to ye, Fi?” William asked in a low voice as he rode next to her. When she did not answer, he began a slew of rushed questions. “Did he hurt ye? Did the bastard seduce ye with promises he means no’ to keep? Tell me, Fi.”
“William, he did no’ seduce me,” she told him pointedly, silently wishing he’d simply go away and leave her to her heartache.
William studied her closely, his anger growing quite evident with his set jaw and the thunderous look in his eye. “What happened, Fi? I need to ken so I can avenge yer honor!”
“Me honor does no’ need avenged, William. Truthfully, ’tis none of yer concern what did or did no’ happen between Caelen and me.” She tapped the flanks of her horse, urging it forward in an attempt to be away from her brother’s interrogation.
From the day she was born, William had convinced himself he was her protector and guardian of her heart. Fiona knew he would not give up until he was convinced she was well.
“Fi,” he said as he pulled his horse beside her again. “I do no’ believe fer a moment that ye are well. Now tell me, what happened.”
She released her frustration with a rapid sigh. “Nothin’ happened,” she told him. “I be simply tired, frustrated and hungry. Ye need no’ concern yerself with Caelen, fer he was nothin’ short of a gentleman.” ’Twas a lie but she didn’t care. “’Tis also time fer me courses.” Another lie and again, she did not care.
Her
courses
had gotten her out of many a difficult or awkward situation over the years, especially when it came to her brothers. All she need do to either garner sympathy or get herself out of trouble was to tell them ’twas that time of the month. Instantly, any anger they held toward her fell away, for those monthly problems were a mysterious thing. Her brothers neither understood nor possessed a desire to. Some things they reckoned, were best left alone.
William’s cheeks burned red as he stammered for an appropriate response. “Oh,” he said quietly. “I’ll leave ye be then.”
F
rom a room in the tower
, Caelen watched Fiona leave with her brother William and the rest of her men. He remained there until long after she faded from sight. She had taken his heart with her, leaving him as bereft and as alone as a piece of driftwood floating through the wide ocean.
The cloak of night draped itself across the land. The evening meal came and went and the keep had settled into the quiet and still hours of night, and yet he remained looking out at the horizon.
A cool damp breeze flittered in through the tall, narrow window where he’d been acting as sentry. Stirring up tiny whirlwinds of dust at his feet, the air caressed his skin. His skin turned to gooseflesh, for the air was as soft and gentle as Fiona’s whispers against his skin. Whispers of fate he might not ever get to experience again if he allowed his breaking heart to guide him now.
There simply had to be a way for them to be together, as husband and wife.
After hours of searching for a solution he made several decisions. First and most importantly, he would not take no for an answer. It had taken him sixteen years to get over the loss of his first wife and their son. He refused to spend the rest of his life mourning the loss of another woman, a woman he loved more than he could ever have thought possible.
Fiona had done something to his long-sheltered heart. With no effort on her part, she had somehow managed to get the bloody thing beating again. And he’d be damned if he’d allow circumstance or stubbornness to shatter it again.
He’d either find a way or he’d make a way to have Fiona McPherson as his wife.
N
ight had fallen
across the land by the time Fiona, William and the others returned to their keep. While she would have preferred to crawl into bed and spend the next fortnight crying her eyes out, Fiona knew she couldn’t. If she was giving up the chance at a life with Caelen because she was chief then she needed to behave as one. She would deal with her emotions later.
Pushing aside the ache in her heart, she and William met with Collin and her advisors in her private study. Collin and the others let out a collective sigh of relief at learning she hadn’t done anything foolish — such as cutting Caelen’s throat.
Collin and William sat on either side of her at the long table, while Andrew, Seamus, and Richard took up seats opposite them. With a calmness that belied her crushed heart, Fiona explained what they had learned from Brodie.
“So ye no longer believe the McDunnahs be responsible fer the attacks?” Richard asked quite pointedly.
“Aye,” Fiona answered. “I believe there be someone who wants to make it appear as though the McDunnahs are to blame. Though why, I canna say at the moment. There has to be more to it than someone wantin’ magical water.”
“Who kens what makes any man do anythin’?” Andrew asked rhetorically. “It verra well could be somethin’ as simple as that.”
All eyes then focused on Andrew. “We’ve been somewhat isolated here all these many years,” he began, “but we all ken that evil exists. If a man were to believe that McPherson water holds magical powers, he might verra well be moved to do whatever he must to have it. He needs no other reason than his belief that he can somehow benefit from it. Whether it be a financial benefit or somethin’ else.”
While Fiona found it difficult to believe anyone could be moved to murder over supposed magical water, she knew Andrew was right. Some men could be motivated by nearly anything. Still, doubts lingered. “Ye may verra well be right, Andrew. Still, me instinct tells me there be far more to it than that.”
“Be that as it may,” Richard chimed in. “What do we do now? Ye’ve got four clan chiefs due here on the morrow. What do ye plan to tell them?”
Fiona had forgotten about the summit she had called for after Bridgett’s death. “We meet with them,” she answered. “Mayhap we’ll be able to learn who is truly behind this.”
“So it be no longer a war summit?” Richard asked, as he tried to hide his disappointment. Of all the people in the room, Richard was perhaps the only one who actually looked forward to the prospect of war. Ornery and at times short tempered, Richard was never one to back down from anything. Inwardly, Fiona chuckled.
And they worry over me startin’ a war?
“Nay,” Fiona told him. “No longer a war summit. ’Twill be more a mission to learn the truth, or at least part of it.”
“I pray yer right,” Andrew said. “At this point, I’m less concerned over the
why
of it than the
who
.”
Richard smiled at Andrew. “I agree, Andrew. And if it be all right with the rest of ye, I’d like to be the one who guts the bloody bastard responsible fer takin’ our Bridgett.”
Fiona could not argue with Richard’s desire for retribution. “I imagine, Richard, that we will all be wantin’ a piece of him.”
Richard laughed loudly. “Aye, by the time we’re all done with him, I doubt there’ll be much left fer even the bugs to feast upon.”
A
nswers could not be found
amongst the men who had proposed to Fiona. Usually rumors flew across the Highlands as fast as a rabbit could run. But this time? People simply weren’t talking.
Mayhap the troubles were not coming from the chiefs who had proposed, but from someone else. Caelen did not believe in coincidences. However, at this point he did not have the luxury of ruling out the possibility that the proposals and raids were not linked.
If he could not find the answers here, then he would have to expand his search.
He would begin by enlisting the help of Angus McKenna, chief of the Clan MacDougall.
T
here was
little time to spare. Caelen sent a messenger to Angus McKenna to give advance warning of his arrival. He didn’t bother seeking permission to visit MacDougall lands, for it was neither in his nature to ask nor was it necessary. Caelen also sent a message to his oldest and closest friend, Nial McKee.
Though Angus was only twelve years his senior, Caelen still thought of him as the father he’d never had. Aye, Caelen may have sprung from Nerbert McDunnah’s loins, but that was as far as the connection to the man went.
The MacDougalls and McDunnahs had been allies for many years, but their relationship went beyond more than just a political alignment. Not only were the chiefs of each clan good friends, many friendships and even a few marriages, had been forged between the clanspeople.
In addition to those friendships, the MacDougalls and McDunnahs were the leading parties in a hopefully irrevocable agreement referred to as
The Bond of The Seven.
The bond was forged years ago between their two clans and the Grahams, McKees, Carruthers, Lindsays and Randolphs. If ever any of them were in dire need of assistance, all they need do is send out the call.
He had just finished giving last minute orders to Kenneth when one of the younger lads entered the gathering room.
“Caelen,” the boy said. He was out of breath and looked pensive. “Yer grandminny sends fer ye. She says it be important.”
Caelen blew out a frustrated breath, thanked the lad and sent him off to tell Burunild he’d be there momentarily.
“Would ye like to go as a witness?” Caelen asked Kenneth.
“Witness to what?”
“Fer when they ask why I strangled the auld woman ye can tell them because she drove me to it.” Caelen replied. “The woman sorely tests me.”
Kenneth chuckled as he rubbed his bearded jaw. “Aye, she can be a trial at times.”
Caelen looked aghast. “At times?” he asked. “The only time she’s no’ testin’ me is when she be asleep.”
Kenneth continued to chuckle, enjoying his cousin’s discomfit. “What? That wee, sweet auld woman? She’s as kind and generous as the day is long, cousin.”
“Then
ye
go see what she wants. I’d rather do battle against a horde of angry Huns.”
“Nay, ye need to see her. God only kens how much time the woman has left to grace His earth.”
Caelen rolled his eyes and held up his hands in defeat. “So she’s been tellin’ me fer the last thirty years of me life.”
B
urunild made
no attempt to hide her disappointment in Caelen. “What do ye mean she’s left? Ye promised I could meet the warrior woman!”
Caelen thought his grandminny was behaving like a spoilt child. He swallowed back the urge to tell her just that. “Grandminny, I ken what I told ye, but she would no’ stay.” He couldn’t bear to tell her the truth, that Fiona had turned down his offer of marriage and left him a broken man.
“But why?” Burunild asked as she banged her walking stick against the stone floor.
Caelen’s head began to ache from lack of sleep, from his broken heart and his frustrating grandminny. Rubbing his temples with his fingers, he tried to find the words to explain without telling her the truth. “She was verra busy and had important things to attend to.”
“Will she come back?” Burunild asked with a furrowed brow, as if she were waiting to catch him in a lie.
“I can only pray that she does,” he murmured.
Burunild sat back in her chair and studied him closely for several long moments.
“Grandminny,” Caelen said, and even he thought his voice sounded tired. “I be leavin’ this morn. I leave Phillip behind. He’ll see to it that yer taken care of in me stead.” He let out a tired breath and stood.
“Ye love her, don’ ye?” Burunild asked.
Caelen stared down at the auld woman. Her concern seemed genuine, but experience told him that his grandminny couldn’t be trusted. She wasn’t truly an evil woman, just an auld woman who didn’t want to be ignored or set aside as if she were too stupid or senile to be of use to anyone. However, she oft used her age to her advantage and there were many times when he was quite certain her goal in life was to make him as miserable as possible. She was a paradox, this auld woman.
“This warrior woman,” Burunild said, craning her neck to look up at her grandson. “Ye love her.”
There was no way around it. The auld woman would hound him to death until he answered. “Aye, Grandminny, I fear I do.”
Something flickered in her aged, watery eyes. Something Caelen could not quite describe. Was it a grandmother’s adoration? Humor? Or something else he thought he should be quite afraid of.
Burunild nodded her head as if everything in the world made sense, placed her hands on the top of her table and stood to look at Caelen. “Well, it be about time.”
Caelen looked heavenward for patience for he knew he was about to be the recipient of one of his grandminny’s lectures.
“I be verra happy fer ye, grandson, that ye’ve finally found true love.”
Uncertain if ’twas a ruse he remained quiet, his brow knotted by puzzlement.
“Fer sixteen years, ye mourned the death of a woman ye did no’ truly love. Aye, ye loved her, but no’ like ye love this woman. I can see it in yer eyes, hear it in yer voice.” She studied him closely for a moment. “Fer the first time in yer life, ye’ve gotten a glimpse at
true
love, grandson. But I fear ye be on the brink of losin’ it. Ye must fight fer the woman, fer I promise ye, the heartache from losin’ yer first Fiona be only a glimpse at the pain ye’ll endure if ye lose this one.”
A sadness fell over her then. Caelen didn’t think it possible for her to look aulder or more tired, but when her shoulders sagged and the twinkle left her eyes … he knew in that wee moment that his grandminny knew from harsh experience exactly of what she spoke. Just under the surface of her wrinkled, at times severe exterior, lay a broken heart. It nearly buckled his knees to think of his grandminny living through the hell he was now living.
“’Tis a heartache unlike any other, Caelen. One ye might survive but ye never truly heal from. Do no’ let this woman get away from ye, lad. Fer I fear ye won’t live long enough to regret it.”
W
ith his messengers sent Caelen
, Kenneth and twenty of their finest men set off for MacDougall lands just after dawn. Barring any unforeseen problems or bad weather, they would reach the MacDougall keep by nightfall on the following day.
“What do ye hope to gain by visitin’ with the MacDougall?” Kenneth asked as he rode alongside Caelen.
“’Tis more than a visit, Kenneth. I hope to enlist his help in findin’ out who is behind the attacks on Fiona’s people.”
With one curious brow raised, Kenneth said, “So she be
Fiona
now, aye?”
Caelen shot an angry glance toward his cousin. He was in a foul mood and would not brook any teasing or meddling from anyone, least of all his cousin.
“And what, pray tell, do ye plan to do if we learn who is truly behind the attacks on the McPhersons?”
“I plan on killin’ the bloody bastard.”
That seemed to please Kenneth, for he was almost as bloodthirsty as Caelen. “And if ye do no’ find the answers ye seek with the aid of the MacDougalls?”
“I’ll search this world over, to find out who is tryin’ to make me look like a reiver of sheep and a murderer,” Caelen told him bluntly. He had no qualms in doing just that. Not only was his honor, as well as the clan’s, at stake, Fiona’s life could be in danger as well.
Some time passed, as they rode along the countryside, before Kenneth spoke again. “Tell me, Caelen, what is it about this woman that has ye in such a state?”
Caelen was unaware of being in any ‘state’ other than furious and told Kenneth just that. “The only ‘state’ I be in is angry, fer I do no’ like bein’ tested or made a fool.”
“Be it the bonny Fiona who is testin’ ye? Has she made a fool out of ye?”
Caelen was about three heartbeats away from wiping the smirk from Kenneth’s bearded face.
“Fiona has done nothin’ wrong, Kenneth. And I’ll warn ye to tread lightly on that subject, or avoid it altogether. Fer I’ll no’ think twice about poundin’ yer ugly face into the ground.”
’Twas true that Fiona was not to blame for his current mood. Aye, he was angry that she had refused to even consider his proposal. But he was much more angry about the situation they’d been thrown into by some unknown force.
“She be a bonny woman, Caelen, and right fierce,” Kenneth remarked. “I be only curious as to what it is about this particular woman who has stolen yer heart — a heart that I did no’ know ye even possessed until these past few days.”
Instead of telling Kenneth the truth — that he was just as confused over the entire situation as he — he said, “Shut up, Kenneth.”
His stern look and harsh tone apparently meant nothing to Kenneth.
“I only be curious, Caelen.”
He sounded sincere, but Caelen was not about to share his innermost feelings with Kenneth, at least not as they pertained to Fiona McPherson.
“Ye’ll get no further warnin’, Kenneth. The next time ye open yer mouth I will shut it fer ye,” Caelen warned him through gritted teeth. Not waiting for a response, Caelen kicked the flanks of his horse and rode to the front of the line, leaving his cousin behind him.