Burnt Devotion (40 page)

“Stop the sarcasm, Maggie. I’m just saying you could watch it to make sure your weight doesn’t get out of control one day. Your mother always said-”

“Ok, stop right there, please, Dad. I have no interest in what that woman thinks of me. She left, so she definitely doesn’t get a say so anymore. She doesn’t care.”

She was always on me about my weight. Of course, back then I just thought it was motherly protection, you know. Now, who knew what was going on in her head.

I’m kinda short, I guess; five-three. My mom has always said I should watch it and maybe start doing more activities, such as joining the cheerleading squad again. I quit my sophomore year. I was already on the track team, but apparently, our running shorts weren’t cute enough for her.

I have always liked my body, always. I wasn’t fat. I wasn’t one of those girls that griped and complained and had conniptions every time I had to put on a bathing suit. And I’d never had any complaints from anyone else either. Especially not Chad, who constantly told me how he loved that I ate real food and looked normal and didn’t ask him if I looked fat every time I changed my clothes. No one except
her
ever had a problem with it or ever said anything to me about it. I refused to get a complex because of one high strung woman. And now Dad had to start this crap?

“She does care. We just didn’t do what we needed for her. We took advantage. She wouldn’t have left if we had been more...”

“More what, Dad? More perfect?”

“You know what I mean.”

“No. You don’t love people for what they can give you. You don’t love them because of what they do for you or how good you make them look. Love is blind, love does not boast, love is not vain. Remember, Dad?”

“I know what the bible says, Maggie, but since when do you care what God has to say about anything?” Ouch. True, we hadn’t been to church not one Sunday since my mom left. “Your mom loved us, we just didn’t show her enough love to keep her here. We failed her.”

I stood up, not caring that Kyle hadn’t texted me yet. I looked at the sad, mean, black haired, pale and thin man in front of me with his wrinkled navy blue shirt and his hair greased back, uncared for.

“Dad, I love you, but I’m not taking the blame for something she did. I’m going out with a friend. I won’t stay out too late.”

“Chad?”

“No, not Chad. Chad’s too busy trying to leave this town.”

“Well, good for him and you knew it was coming. You could learn a few things from that boy. He was a little out of your league anyway, I think. Probably why it didn’t work out. You’ve gotta be more realistic, Maggie. You expect too much from people,” he muttered.

“Ok, Dad. Bye.”

I left without another word from him or me. I grabbed my green cargo jacket from the hall coat rack and stuck my phone in my pocket. I looked at myself in the hall mirror. I remembered this mirror. It was bulky and huge, made from antique silver. Dad had to wrestle to get it in the car after mom found it at an old, out of the way antique shop. I looked in it and I saw my light brown hair with a little wave at the ends passed my shoulders. I saw my green eyes. I saw the freckles smattering my nose and cheeks on tan skin. I wasn’t gorgeous, but I still didn’t understand why I wasn’t good enough for anyone.

I searched through my backpack for the ten dollar bill I knew was there and stuffing it in my pocket with my phone, I headed out the door.

It was cold and humid. The air was thick with fog and moisture, making a glow around the street lights as I made my way down Broad Street. One street over was Main. I lived right smack in the middle of town my whole life. I didn’t have a car because I didn’t need one. I could walk anywhere I needed to go and the diner I worked in was only five blocks down and over.

But I wasn’t headed to the diner. I had no idea where I was going, but I just needed to get away. Dad had completely changed. We used to get along; play games, go to movies, cook together, rake leaves together. We were a typical uptown normal street family from Tennessee. But when my mom left, my dad may as well have left too. He would never have said anything about my weight before, especially since there’s nothing wrong with it, and never ever would have just sat there while his only daughter graduated. He also wouldn’t have let me get a job just so I had money to buy things I needed because he was too buried in his grief to go to work anymore. He was not the same man and I missed him. 

I also have an older brother, Bish, who was adopted, but he’d been out of the house for a long time now. My parents decided when I was eight to adopt a kid from the state. They got a boy, a sixteen year old kid who’d been pulled from a foster home. He’d apparently been in lots of them and was pretty happy to actually be adopted being so old.

I liked him right off and he liked me. He let me follow him around and pester him. He played games with me and took me shopping. I helped introduce him into the youth group at church because he’d never been to church before. But he left to go to art school on a scholarship and moved to New York to be an intern for some jerk at a law firm. I rarely saw him anymore. We text, but he was so busy and I couldn’t seem to find anything to talk about but how much life sucked here without him. 

I made my way to the stop light and waited for it to turn red so I could cross. There was only one other person there, a guy with his back to me. He was wearing his earbuds and bobbing his head a little to whatever beat he was listening to with his hands in his pockets. He looked back, smiled slightly and nodded before facing forward again. I checked my phone again and saw that I still had no text. I wondered why I was so worried about it. I wasn’t even thrilled about going with Kyle in the first place, but now I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it.

I thought maybe I’d get a coffee while I waited. If Kyle didn’t text me, at least I could sit there. Maybe read a little from the Kindle app on my phone before heading home. I put my phone back in my pocket and looked up just in time. The light turned red, but the guy was already walking without looking to the side first and was crossing. I saw the red truck turning, the driver’s head turned left, but he was turning right.

It all happened so fast I didn’t even get a chance to think. I just reacted. I ran forward, grabbed the back of the guy’s jacket and pulled him backwards with all my strength just as the truck sped by in front of us. We tumbled back and he landed hard on top of me, his backpack banging against my face. My breath slammed into my chest painfully.

I heard a screech and looked to see the truck slam to a stop just a ways ahead of us. He yelled some obscenities out his window; something about stupid kids, but more colorful, and then sped away.

The guy immediately rolled off me, yanking the buds from his ears and looking at me with awe and concern.

“Are you ok?”

“Uh...yeah, I think so,” I groaned.

“I can’t believe I just did that. You- you saved my life.”

“It’s fine. It’s a good thing I was here, I guess.”

He scooted a little closer and winced as he brushed my hair back from my face. “You cut your head,” he said breathlessly and looked a little dazed.

“I did?” I felt it with my fingers and squinted as it stung. My fingers had a little blood on them, but nothing alarming. “I guess I did. It’s all right, really, just a bump.”

I tried to stand, but he held me down with a hand on my shoulder.

“Whoa. Wait, ok? Let me call an ambulance. If something happened to you after you saved me...”

“Really, that’s not necessary. I’m fine.”

He frowned and paused, screwing up his lips like he was debating it. I looked at him in the soft glow of the streetlights. He was tall, that I’d seen from before, and broad, but his hair was brown and shaggy, curling around his ears and forehead, and his eyes were light, blue maybe or hazel. His lips were fascinating as he sucked them in and out of his mouth in contemplation. He was wearing a gray hoodie that said ‘VOLS’ in big orange letters on the front. Great.

That was one of my biggest problems with Chad. He’d been so set to go to Florida to be a Gator when the University of Tennessee was right here. Right down the road. His dad went to UF, I get it, he wanted to follow his dad’s footsteps but it just felt like he wouldn’t compromise. I don’t know.

The guy’s eyes drifted to mine and we just sat there, eyes locked on one another’s. Then the corner of his mouth rose slightly. And it was unnerving.

“Please, let me take you to the hospital at least.” He brushed my hair back again and leaned closer to inspect. I heard my swift intake of breath at his closeness and he did, too. He looked down into my eyes again and watched me closely. “It doesn’t look too bad, but...let me call someone for you. I’d feel better,” he said softly.

“There’s no one to call,” I muttered, but wished I could take it back when I saw his face. “Really, I’m fine.”

“I’m so glad you were here. I can’t believe I did that. And I’m sorry you got hurt. I must have hit you with my book-bag when we went down. That’s a pretty good grip you got there,” he said and smiled. I had one of those moments where you stare and can’t look away.

He smiled wider when I didn’t say anything and chuckled right as I came back to myself.

“Uh, thanks. Are
you
all right?” I asked and he nodded.

“So. There’s no one to call? Your parents? A boyfriend?”

“My dad won’t come and my boyfriend and I... Well, we aren’t together anymore. I wouldn’t feel right about calling him now.”

“You don’t think he’d come?”

“Oh, he would. That’s why I don’t want to.”

He seemed confused and amused at the same time. “Ok. I’m gonna assume there’s a story there and you’re not just suffering from a head injury.”

I realized then that we were still sitting on the sidewalk next to each other, in the middle of town.

“No, I’m fine. Look, I’m sorry. I’m fine, I promise. I didn’t mean to hold you up,” I stammered and stuck my hair behind my ear.

“Are you kidding? You saved my life. The least I can do is make sure you get where you’re going. Here.” He grabbed my arm gently and helped me stand, keeping it there to make sure I was steady. “You good? No stars, no spots, no blurs?”

“I’m good.”

“Where you headed?”

“I have no idea. Nowhere. I’m just waiting for someone to call and needed to get out of the house.”

“Did you go to graduation?”

“Yeah, I graduated.”

“Really? You look too young to be graduating.”

“Seventeen. My birthday’s in a few weeks. I, uh, skipped a grade so I graduated early.”

“Aha. So, I was saved by a genius. This just keeps getting better,” he said grinning.

“I’m not a genius,” I laughed. “I just used to like school. I loved tests.” I saw his expression. “I know, I know. I’m a freak. But I liked it, for whatever reason.”

“Not anymore?”

“Long story. Bad year.”

He nodded and seemed to know to leave that one alone.

“You’re not a freak, by the way.” He leaned close and stage whispered to me. “I love to do geometry speed drills. Love it.”

I raised my eyebrows and dropped my jaw in mock shock.

“No way. That’s crazy.”

“I know.”

“Maybe you’re the freak.”

“Hey!” We both laughed and then smiled at each other. “So, where can I take you?”

“Really, I’m fine. Where were you headed?”

“Oh, my uncle’s house a couple streets over. My cousin graduated, too. My mom and dad are here with me, partying it up with the family. You know.”

“Yeah,” I said bleakly as I most certainly did not know. “Who’s your cousin?”

“Kyle Jacobson.”

My jaw dropped for real this time. “Kyle is your cousin?”

“Yeah, you know him? Oh, of course you do.”

“Yeah, I’ve been friends with Kyle since...forever. He’s actually the one I’m waiting on. I thought his party was from five to seven?”

“It is. I snuck out for a walk. I can’t handle so many Jacobsons in one room.” He put his hands back in his pockets and rolled his shoulders, looking a little uncomfortable. “So, you’re Kyle’s big date, huh? He kept talking about you earlier.”

“It’s not a date. Well...I guess it is. We’re just friends. He’s sweet.”

“Well, I’ll tell you, he definitely thinks this is a date and wants to be way more than friends, trust me.”

I bit my lip and he smiled sadly at me. “Really? I wasn’t trying to get his hopes up, I just wanted to do something and he’s asked me out a few times already. I just didn’t want to say no again. You know?”

He nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. His hair fell across his forehead and I wanted to fix it for him. In fact, my fingers twitched with wanting to, but I clenched my fist and mentally shook myself. I was not one of those girls who got all swoony over a cute guy. I wasn’t about to start being one.

“Well, I can walk you there since that’s where I’m headed anyway. Kyle will be happy to see you.”

He looked as disappointed as I felt at that prospect. I’d never been attracted to anyone but Chad before. And I was definitely attracted to mister blue eyes.