Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) (30 page)

Xander smiled. He moved his hand to her cheek and stroked it soothingly. "Alright, Leon. You win. No more hussies."

She smiled pleasantly before bringing her hand up to touch his.

Xander leaned toward her ear and whispered, "Only you." He moved his lips to hers and kissed them softly.

Even in her half-asleep, drunken state, Deryn's lips still responded. Xander smiled again and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Stay," she breathed into his hovering mouth.

"I can't stay, Leon. Not tonight. I don't deserve you tonight."

"Stay," she said again, opening her eyes slightly and looking into his.

"Soon," said Xander giving her another soft kiss.

And then it took everything he had to tear himself away from her, but he knew he had to.

Sometimes Deryn acted so normal that Xander forgot about everything she had been through. When he actually stopped to think for a moment, he understood her hesitance about him. But he knew these feelings were not his alone. She felt it, too. And now, more than ever, he was determined to make her see. Deryn Leon was going to be his. He was sure of it.

And, no matter what it took, he was going to deserve her.

The next morning Deryn had a hard time opening her eyes, which were throbbing along with the rest of her head. She groaned and rubbed them, accidentally rolling so she landed in the large puddle of drool on her pillow.

"Gross," she said, moving out of the wetness, which only made her head pound harder.

As she turned in the other direction, away from the drool, the memories of the night before came flooding back to her. Her face crinkled with curiosity as she realized she didn't remember returning to her room. Had she come back here on her own? Somehow, she doubted it.

A nauseating smell that made her stomach churn currently filled the air, and it was soon accompanied by some very cheerful humming. She got up to investigate, stumbling slightly on her wobbly legs.

Deryn put on her robe and slid into her slippers. She yawned heavily and walked out of the room while scratching an itch on the top of her head. Her fingers got caught in a mess of tangles that could only have been caused by a lot of tossing and turning.

"Morning, sunshine!"

She stopped and looked. Bronson was smiling cheerfully from the kitchen.

"Or should I say afternoon?" He laughed and went back to cooking something on the stove.

Deryn groaned. She went over and sank down on the couch. Not even ten seconds later, Bronson was handing her a glass filled with a hideous, muggy-green liquid.

"For your head," he said. "My own recipe to cure hangovers."

"Does it taste as disgusting as it looks?" she asked, reluctantly taking the glass.

"Oh yes, but you'll be happier in the long run."

Deryn frowned at the drink before plugging her nose and gulping it down quickly. She pulled a face as she finished. Bronson laughed and took the empty glass.

"How did you know I was hung-over?" she asked, turning to watch him in the kitchen. He really was an artist in there.

"Ruby told me," he said while chopping onions.

Deryn threw her hand over her mouth when she accidentally got a good whiff. And then her eyes drifted over to Xander's bedroom door. It was open.

"Where is he?" she asked, hoping there would be time to duck back into her room before he made an appearance. Anything to avoid suffering the humiliation of last night. Clearly, he had found her drunk and passed out on the balcony, probably just after his latest hussy left.

Deryn's fists clenched as the pain she had felt the night before returned. But she wouldn't cry. Not in front of Bronson. There was no reason for it. She had already decided that any feelings she had for Xander were unreasonable, so she would just have to forget about them. That should be easy enough. She had successfully shut her feelings off for five years. Become an expert at it even. This was the same. He was a Guardian and all she had to do was emotionally detach herself. Done.

Just then, the front door opened and Xander walked in carrying his rucksack. He kicked off his shoes before noticing her sitting there, his eyes falling upon hers.

Deryn gulped. No. Not done.

She stood up and darted for the bathroom. "I need a shower," she mumbled to Bronson, slamming the door behind her.

Bronson stared after her peculiarly, then moved his eyes to Xander. "Fighting again?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't know. Probably."

When Deryn got out of the shower, Bronson was gone but whatever he'd been cooking was still brewing. The curtains covering the door to the balcony were currently blowing, letting her know Xander was out there. She hurried into her room and shut the door, pressing her back to it and sighing with her eyes closed.

"What's with the dramatics?"

Deryn jumped as her heart literally skipped a beat. Xander was standing over her dresser, pulling things out of his rucksack and putting them next to the bag Bronson had bought her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, suddenly realizing that she was very naked underneath her robe. She pulled it tighter around her body.

"I bought you some medicine for when you go. And a few other things that might come in handy."

"Kicking me out already?" she asked, crossing her arms.

Xander smirked. "You're the one who said you needed to be prepared."

Once all of the medicine and other knickknacks were out of his bag - Deryn noticing a compass and an old flashlight among them - he began pulling out something else. Books. Many books.

Deryn's eyes widened in awe as the pile of volumes grew larger. There was even one specifically on weapon making. How he ever found a paper copy of something like that was beyond her.

"I was able to get a few of the books from training you requested, as well as some additions I thought might come in handy. There are more I plan to get but the weight of my bag was at capacity."

Xander put his rucksack over his shoulder and walked to the door. Deryn was still standing against it, her eyes focused excitedly on the books.

Reaching past her for the knob, he brushed her hip in a way that could only have been intentional. He leaned down and whispered, "Excuse me, Leon."

The purr of his voice sent a chill through Deryn. Her body stiffened as he grasped firmly onto her arm, carefully moving her out of the way. He flashed her that crooked grin of his before opening the door just enough to slip out and shutting it behind him.

Deryn stared at the closed door for a long time, unable to move her gaze anywhere else. She had absolutely no idea what was going on in Xander's head. He had, more-or-less, confessed his feelings for her the previous night and now he just seemed ... off. What game was he playing?

Well, whatever it was, Deryn refused to let him win. She quickly changed into some clothes, then grabbed the book on weaponry and the blanket she had found tangled in her sheets. She wrapped it around her and went out to the living room, where she sat down on the couch.

Deryn opened the book and began reading.

Xander came over a short while later and handed her a cup of tea. Then he went over to the fireplace.

"There's supposed to be another thunderstorm tonight," he said nonchalantly as he pressed something on his wristband that shot out a flame and ignited the artificial wood. "You might want to prepare early."

"Fine," she said without taking her eyes off of the book.

"How is your head doing while reading?"

Deryn thought. The truth was, reading and retaining the information had proven to be much more difficult than before she suffered countless amounts of torture. She often caught herself reading sentences two or three times before fully comprehending them, but she simply said, "All is well."

Xander walked away and returned a minute later with his small computer and a cup of tea. He sat down on the other end of the couch and put his feet up casually before turning it on, a screen appearing as a hologram before his eyes. He scrolled a bit with his finger, then began reading something.

Using her peripherals Deryn saw the cover of a book at the top of the hologram, and that he was reading about mind control technology. She had to ask. "Why are you reading that?"

Without looking up, Xander said, "It's come to my attention recently that this form of technology isn't far from the president's grasp, and I want to know more about it. Surely you, of all people, understand how necessary it is to be a step ahead on these things."

Deryn nodded before returning to her book. A gust of wind shot in through the open balcony door and she shivered. Xander put his computer down, stood up and closed the door.

"Sorry. I was airing out that onion smell," he said, returning to his seat.

"What was he making?" she asked, looking back at the brewing pot.

"Just some dinner for us. A new recipe he wanted to try."

"Oh." She suddenly frowned. "What happened to my untouched dinner from last night?" She couldn't resist.

"I ate it," said Xander casually.

Deryn whipped her head towards him. "All of it?" she asked.

He nodded. "I was very hungry, since I didn't eat anything all of yesterday."

"Why not?"

"Because I was anticipating your dinner. I know how much it meant to you, being your first time cooking it on your own and all -"

Deryn blushed. So, apparently, they were being blunt. She made a mental note.

"- and I would've been here if I hadn't run into complications."

"Complications," she repeated. "Is that what we're calling your hussies now?" So much for being the bigger person.

"Believe what you want, that girl had nothing to do with why I was late."

"Then why -"

"I'm a Guardian, Leon, and sometimes I need to keep up appearances," he said as he scrolled further down on the hologram. "Luka and I have spent every Halloween together since we were five. When I tried to get out of it, suspicions arose. Neither you nor I can afford to have anyone doubt my intentions. So I went. And when I tried to leave some girl followed me. Veli forced me into his car with her, and then sent her up here while he proceeded to threaten the lives of my father and friends if I didn't find you, which everyone realizes I haven't tried very hard to do. So that's it, the truth, which I'm sure is nothing compared to whatever you created in that head of yours."

Deryn's book dropped from her hands. "Veli threatened you?"

"He did. He and several others who were once my superiors don't like me very much."

If at all possible, Deryn felt like an even bigger idiot than before. She should have known he wouldn't worry her for no reason. "Xander, I'm sorry. I didn't realize -"

"Obviously," said Xander, putting down his computer. "I'm going to have some of Bronson's soup. Do you want a bowl?"

Deryn looked down at her stomach just as it growled. She hadn't eaten anything yesterday either and she was already feeling much better after Bronson's hangover cure. Food actually sounded like a good idea. "Yes, but I can get it," she said, standing up with him.

She followed him to the kitchen, and took out bowls and spoons while he put a ladle in the pot.

"So I wanted to purchase you some clothes, but I wasn't sure of your sizes," said Xander, giving the contents of the pot a few stirs.

Deryn held out the bowls while he poured. "I'm actually not sure of my sizes anymore," she said. "I've lost weight since ... since before." She looked down at her bony body and frowned.

After putting the lid back on the pot, Xander lifted her sweater a little and poked her stomach. "Looks like you've gotten plenty of it back."

Deryn's face sunk.
That
was definitely on the list of top ten things never to say to a woman, even one who had been starved for five years. "Thanks. I think," she added under her breath.

Xander took one of the bowls from her. "I really have no idea when it comes to women's sizes so you're going to have to help me out a bit." He grabbed his computer, and took it with his food to the table. The hologram shut off as he walked, but came back up again the moment he sat.

Deryn did the same, except she only had to turn to the correct page instead of have a bunch of words appear floating in front of her. So it seemed that whatever game this was they were playing, part of it entailed simply acting like yesterday never happened. And being blunt. She could do that.

Taking a seat, Deryn told him what her sizes once were, but mentioned that he should probably get a size smaller in the pants.

"I'll get your old sizes," he said. "We should be optimistic about fattening you up. Bronson will be happy to assist."

Deryn crinkled her forehead. "Umm ... alright."

What was with him? So another part of this game was being ... rude? No, that wasn't it. Oblivious? It was closer, but still not right. She got the feeling he knew exactly what he was doing.