"Stop asking questions or you will be sorrier than you could ever think possible, and it might not be only because of what they do to you,," she threatened sharply.
We returned to work. From time to time.
I
saw Natani pause in his own work and look our way. I thought I saw him smile at me, but it was hard to tell as the sun rose higher in the sky and made even the dirt gleam. At noon we were told to stop, clean up in the shower, and return to the house. We had just about completed the east wall of the barn. Everyone had spots of paint on her face, hands, and arms, as well as in her hair. Teal was the most depressed about it.
"I used to go to a beauty parlor once a week." she said, running her fingers through her stubs.
"Lucky you," Cria said.
"At least I had a reason to go."
"Keep your mouths shut." M'Lady Two called. "Just walk to the showers."
We were given soap, brushes, and towels and made to scrub until every spot of paint was off our bodies. Then we dressed and started for the house.
At the house we were treated to wonderful icecold lemonade. No one was ashamed to show how much she enjoyed it and coveted every drop. After the cold shower and this refreshment. I did feel better,
"Is it going to get easier?" I asked Mindy.
She tilted her head. "What?" She batted her eyelashes. "What was your question?"
"Are things going to get better now?" It seemed like a fair question to ask. We had all been through fire, punished, beaten down to where we were all obedient.
"Better?" She smiled. "Things are only going to get worse." she predicted with a smile that was so cold. I thought her teeth had turned to stone.
We were marched into Dr. Foreman's office and told to sit. Gia and Mindy kept looking at each other as if they knew exactly what was coming and it wasn't good. Teal had her head back, her eyes closed, and Robin sat staring forward, her eyes like sockets without bulbs,
Dr. Foreman entered smiling warmly and sat in her chair with a notebook in her hand. For a long beat of silence, she just sat there looking at all of us like a proud parent might contemplate her children. Was I right in thinking that we had reached a point where she was pleased?
"Okay, girls." she began, "we can finally get down to why you've all been sent here. We can finally go after your recuperation and get you all set on the right road. Everyone here has done something to lead me to believe she can change, she can improve, but you all have a ways to go vet, and now that you have spent quality time together and gotten to know each other better..."
I was expecting her to compliment us about it, but she surprised me when she continued. "You all know who among you has the least chance of achieving immediate success. Unfortunately, whoever that is will only hold the rest of you back." She panned us slowly, her eyes pausing on each of our faces, then moving on to the next and the next, spending a little more time on mine. "You've all got to think of what's best for everyone and not for yourself. That's the only way to help yourself,
"Now, the most important thing to achieve is honesty. I'm sure you'll all agree. Honesty requires trust, and you girls are the best to decide who among you can and cannot be trusted, Am I right?"
There was a deep thump in my chest. In the back of my mind I wondered if she would tell everyone how I had betrayed Teal, use me as an example.
"I want you all here to hear each other because I do not like it when one girl goes behind someone else's back. That's deceit. We've all got to face the blunt truth about ourselves. I know how hard this is to do. For most of you, if not all of you, deception, dishonesty, conniving, have been the order of the day. How refreshing it will finally be for you to throw all that off and be truthful," She smiled as if she were offering us a party.
She rose, scooped up five pencils from the top of her desk, and handed each of us one. Then she gave each of us a piece of paper.
"Let's begin, however, with a secret vote. That's the best way to break the ice."
I glanced at Mindy. She looked absolutely terrified.
Gia looked angry. "We've done this before. Dr. Foreman, Can't we be excused?"
Dr. Foreman's face hardened even though she kept the smile on her lips. "Yes. Gia, you have done something similar before, but not satisfactorily. Not yet. And besides"-- Dr. Foreman's eyes gleamed as she nodded at Robin. Teal, and me--"you have new companions now. Things can't be the same. Every situation is different and you've got to be able to adjust to new situations all the time, adjust to different personalities. That's what it's going to be like out there. right?"
Gia looked like she was going to say something more, but then stopped and looked dawn.
"Right?" Dr. Foreman insisted, Gia looked up. "Yes."
"Good. All right. Now let's begin. I want you each to write the name of the girl you think will take the longest to improve and leave the school."
I was stunned. Vote on who among us was the worst?
"What if we don't know enough yet about everyone else?"
I
asked,
"Oh.
I
think you do by now."
"We weren't permitted to speak to each other much and..."
"You've seen and spoken to each other enough to make the decision
I
expect," Dr. Foreman said sharply. Then she smiled. "If you can't choose, then write your own name down, and of course write your own name if you believe you are the weakest one."
Was this really some kind of a serious vote? What would happen to the girl who won this vote? Would she be treated more harshly? Isolated from the rest of us? I looked at everyone else. No one was going to write her own name. Why should I write mine?
"But..."
"Quickly. We have a lot to do and you're all going to be sent back to the barracks afterward to complete your schoolwork. There are due dates for all your assignments, remember, tomorrow being one."
I looked at the others. Robin was writing and so was Teal. Mindy stared down at the floor like she was giving it all real thought, but Gin wrote a name quickly on her paper. Whom was I to choose? There was no doubt in my mind. It would be Teal because she was the one who whined the most and she had tried to run away. I felt so guilty about having betrayed her, but from the way Dr. Foreman was looking at me, those eyes of hers so full of awareness. I was afraid if I didn't write Teal's name, she would know I wasn't being honest.
"Fold your papers and hand them to me."
We did so and Dr. Foreman sat with them all in her lap.
"Okay, let's begin." She opened the first paper. "Teal," she read. She looked at Teal, who glanced at all of us and then looked away with fear.
Dr. Foreman unfolded another. "Teal." The third was the same.
Opening the fourth, she said. "'Teal."
Then she opened the fifth and smiled. "Robin? I guess we can safely conclude you wrote Robin. Teal."
Teal looked terrified and shook her head.
"I don't imagine Robin would have written her own name, and you wouldn't have written yours. dear. There's no point in denying it now. Instead, we'll ask you to tell us why you think Robin is the weakest in the group. You seem to be the only one who thinks so." She still made it all sound so harmless and friendly.
Teal looked
at
Robin, who was glaring
at
her hatefully now. She glanced toward me as well, and I thought from the way she looked
at me that
she
had
expected I would have written Robin's name
and
not hers.
"She..."
"Yes? We're all ears. Go an. Teal."
"She hates her own mother. She
couldn't
care less
if
she goes home or not," Teal offered weakly.
"Oh, and you just love your parents, especially your father, who you said doesn't love you. She stole money from her own father," Robin reminded us. "That's why he sent her here. They can't stand each other."
"That's not the whole reason why and you know it." Teal countered. "Anyway, you're always getting to get
into
trouble because you're stupid. You let a boy talk you into being part of
an
armed robbery. That's a serious crime."
"Oh. I'm stupid? You're the one who
runs off
into the desert
not
knowing where she's going or anything, and I'm stupid. Besides, everyone else voted for you, didn't they? I'm not the only one who doesn't trust you."
"That's true. Teal." Dr. Foreman said. "Everyone else
did
vote you as the weakest in the group. Why
do
you think that is?" she asked as
if
she really
didn't
know the answer.
Teal opened and closed her mouth. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
"Well? Think, my dear.
I
need to know what you think," Dr. Foreman said.
"I don't know. They're all jealous of me. maybe," Teal muttered,
"Jealous of you?" Robin said, and laughed. She looked at me, her eyes asking me why I wasn't speaking up. Gia and Mindy were both looking straight ahead, clearly showing that they wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere but here.
"Well, let's get some opinions about that," Dr. Foreman said. "Mindy, are you jealous of Teal? Is that why you voted for her?"
"You know that's not true. Dr. Foreman."
"I know it's not true, but how would anyone else. Mindy? Go on, tell them why you're not jealous of Teal."
"I'm not." She looked at Gia,
"Gia's
not
going to speak for you. Mindy. You speak for yourself," Dr. Foreman ordered,
"My family is probably as wealthy as hers. but I'm not
a
selfish brat. and
I
don't think she's prettier than
I
am. She's weak and complains and moans all the time. She's spoiled silly
and
can't stand any discomfort. I've seen her tantrums. That's why I picked her." Mindy exclaimed, the words rushing out of her like someone finally giving up
a
secret.
Dr. Foreman nodded, satisfied,
and
then looked at me. "Why did you choose Teal. Phoebe?"
"She tried to run away," I replied quickly, hoping she wouldn't make me say anything else or ask me anything else.
"I would have thought that showed strength, determination, courage," Dr Foreman said. Robin's eyebrows lifted with surprise.
"Wouldn't
you. Phoebe?"
"Well, no, not if you're
doing
something impossible.
I
mean. I told her what Natani had said.
I
told her how easy it is to die out there
and
she still went."
"At least
I
tried to do something for myself I didn't just whine and complain like they
do,"
Teal said.
"Is
that what they do?"
"Yes. And don't say you don't. Robin. She was the one who got into
a
fight, wasn't she?" Teal accused. "She thinks Mindy is your spy." she revealed, snapping her lips shut as soon as she had.
A heavy silence fell over
us
for
a
moment, "Oh?" Dr Foreman asked,
Robin seemed to wilt in her chair when Dr Foreman turned toward her. She shook her head.
"Is
that what you thought, Robin? Mindy here was my spy, someone I planted in the barracks?"
"No. I mean..." She looked toward me for some help, but I looked away.
With a look of great patience. Dr. Foreman turned to Mindy, who was smiling gleefully at Robin's discomfort.
"Why would Robin think you were my spy, Mindy?"
Mindy's smile wilted. "I don't know." she muttered.
"Well, you said something that gave them this ridiculous idea, didn't you? What sort of things were you telling them?"
"I didn't tell them anything." she cried defensively. Then she pointed at me. "Phoebe was telling them that you had microphones secretly placed all over the place."
"Microphones?" Dr. Foreman smiled, "You really believe that, Phoebe?"
"Sometimes it seems like it. Gia's always saying
I
shouldn't be asking questions."
"Oh. You didn't tell them
I
have microphones all over the place, did you. Gia?"
"No. She's exaggerating. She's just a big mouth and I was trying to tell her she would get herself and someone else, maybe all of us, into trouble if she didn't keep that mouth shut." Gia fixed her eyes angrily on me.
"So why didn't you write her name on the paper?" Dr. Foreman shot back at her like a prosecutor in a courtroom.
"I should have," Gia replied without hesitation, glaring at me. "I'd like to change my vote in fact, from Teal to Phoebe."
"Phoebe, what do you say to all this?"
"Gia's just being vicious and spiteful. I know she thinks Teal is the weakest."
"Maybe she's not. Maybe it was courageous to try to escape like that." Robin muttered like someone thinking aloud.
I
spun on her. "You don't believe that. You're just trying to kiss up."
"Don't tell me what I believe and what
I
don't believe, and I don't kiss up." Robin smiled at me, her lips twisting toward the right corner of her mouth. "I'll tell you what I don't believe.
I
don't believe you when you say you only hurt that boy with a statue. I bet you weren't really just defending yourself. I even think you killed him."
"What?"
"What are you saying, Robin?" Dr. Foreman asked.
"She told us she's here because she hit someone and supposedly put him in the hospital, but I'm beginning to wonder if that was all that really happened and if it really happened the way she said it did. She makes herself seem like such a goody-goody while the rest of us admit to doing bad things. That's not honest, is it. Dr Foreman?"
All of them were looking at me.
"Is that true. girls? Does Phoebe make herself out to be
a
victim?"
"Yes," Teal said. "She does."
"What do you think. Mindy? Could Phoebe have been the right choice?"
"Maybe."
"Is that right? You're the one who's always warning everyone. You're the one who might be the most afraid and weak here." I practically shouted at her. "You're the one who talks about this Posy."
I
immediately felt the heat rise up in the room. Mindy sank in her chair and looked quickly
at
Dr. Foreman. Gia, who never looked afraid, suddenly
had
eyes filled with terror.
"Is that so. Mindy? You talk about Posy?" Dr. Foreman looked more at Gia, who quickly shifted her eyes away guiltily.