Broken Dreams (Broken Series) (16 page)

Baker shucked a finger under my chin and forced me to look up at him. “I love you.”

I never tired of hearing him say it. “I love you, too.”

He smiled and kissed me gingerly. He entwined his fingers with mine and I rested my head on his shoulder, utterly content.

When the cab stopped in front of the hotel, Baker paid the driver and then hobbled out and into the lobby. Just before he reached the glass doors, he whirled around to face me.

“You know what I want?” he asked, his eyes back to his playful self.

I thought about it for a second. “Tacos?”

“Hmm, not a bad suggestion. But what I
really
want…is to marry you.”

I stared at him, unmoving, shocked, and completely frozen in place.
I searched his eyes, desperate to find a hint of amusement in them. I found none.

“Are you serious?”

“This wasn’t how I wanted to do it. I have a ring,” he mumbled.
A ring!?
“And I planned to do it tomorrow morning at breakfast. But I love you, Rainey. No woman will ever compare. You’re it for me.”

I gulped.

“I know it’s sudden and probably just a tad bit crazy,” he limped forward to take my hands
,
“
b
ut I want you to be my wife.” He awkwardly knelt down on one knee and pulled a little black box out his pocket. He flipped open the box and the diamonds glinted in the bright lights. “Marry me.”

It wasn’t a question so much as a demand. Chris Baker wanted to marry me. Even though I was dying. Even though he would have to live his life as a widower. Even though –

“Stop thinking, Rainey and just
feel.
What does your heart tell you?”

“Yes,” I said before I could think
too much.

He slipped the silver band onto the ring finger of my left hand, kissed it, and then stood, gathering me in his arms. He spun around, his damaged foot forgotten as we both laugh
ed with glee. I was giddy.

“I love you,” he finally whispered into my ear when we came to a stop.

“I love you,” I replied as I looked around. People around us were snapping photos on their camera phones and I realized that Baker would want to remember this moment.

I asked a beautiful Asian couple to take a few pictures for us, showing them how to use my cell phone camera. Baker and I posed ridiculously for at least a dozen photos. I figured we were bound to like one of them. I took my phone back from them eventually and thank
ed them profusely. They congratulated us.

We walked hand-in-hand to the elevator to our room. Once the doors slid closed, Baker pressed me up against the wall, pressing kisses down my throat. I moaned in delight and then groaned in frustration when the doors opened much too quickly on our floor.

We entered the suite and I half-expected him to jump me as soon as we were behind the closed door. Instead, he poured two glasses of champagne.

“Champagne upsets my stomach,” I confessed as I took the goblet from him.

“I guess it’s a good thing its sparkling grape juice, then
.
”
H
e kissed my forehead and we sat
on the couch, snuggled together. “A toast,” he lifted his glass
,
“
t
o the most beautiful woman in Vegas agreeing to marry me.”

I clinked my glass against his and took a sip, the bubbles tickling my lips. Doubt settled in at that exactly moment and I thought about the repercussions of my actions. Whether he accepted it or not, I was going to die. That meant he was going to come to terms with my illness, even though we agreed not to discuss it.

“We need to talk
.
” I set my glass down on the coffee table and tucked my feet beneath me. Baker’s arm was resting along the back of the couch and his fingers played absently with my hair.

He sighed. “Already? Can’t we just enjoy it?”

“I know you hate to be serious, but this is important. I can’t marry you unless you promise me something.”

“An ultimatum already?” He set his glass next to mine. “Lay it on me.”

“After I’m gone,” I started. Baker made a movement to interrupt me but I stopped him. “No, let me finish. After I’m gone, and you’ve had time to grieve, I want you to promise me that you’ll find someone who makes you happy.”

“What? That’s insane,” he argued.

“I know it seems weird, but
,
Baker, you were made to live a long, happy life with someone, not to be a widower your whole life. I understand why you want to marry me – believe me, I get it.
And I love you for it. But if we’re going to do this, then I want to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will move on someday and allow yourself to love someone else. I need to know that you’ll be happy.
”

“I am happy,” he started.

“You know what I mean. You deserve to be in a committed, long-term relationship where you are loved every day for the rest of your life.”

“I have you, Rainey.”

“Not for long. My time is limited. And although I will love you forever, the truth is, I won’t be around forever. I won’t marry you unless you promise me,” I confirmed, sticking to my convictions about it.

He seemed to realize that I didn’t want the easy answer. He sat back on the couch, pulled his arm away from me
,
and looked at his hands
. He fiddled his fingers together for a moment before he answered me. When his eyes came back to mine, they were misty.

“I’ve never felt this way before. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever been in love at all. And if this is your requirement for marriage, then I can’t do anything but agree. I don’t like it. But I’ll do it. After you’re…” he struggled to find the right word. “…
gone
, I will, at some point in my life, move on and love someone else. But let’s get one thing straight
.
”
H
is eyes bore into mine. “I will
never, ever
stop loving you. As long as there’s air in my lungs, you will forever be in my heart, the completion of my soul.”

I gave him a little smile through the tears that had already formed. “I love you.”

His reply was to pull me in for a kiss.

Chapter Eighteen

Baker

I lost my mind
.

That was my only thought when I woke up, slumped over on the couch hours later. Rainey was nowhere to be found and I didn’t go looking for her right away. I needed some time to think. Marriage wasn’t a problem. I wanted her to be my wife more than anything in this world.

The more I thought about her demands, though, the more nervous I got. I had been holding out for a new treatment or miraculous healing, but the cold, hard truth was that Rainey
would
die. Whether I wanted to deal with it or not, facts were facts. I picked up a glass of leftover juice and took a swig, not caring about the fact that it was old. I needed to appease my overly dry mouth. I swallowed the now flat liquid and took deep breaths, determined to calm my anxious heart.

I loved Rainey. Logically, I knew I didn’t need to worry about anything more than that. She was the only person in the world I would fight for, and even though the ending of this fight was predetermined, I still wanted to win. I wanted to save her, to be her knight in shining armor. If only things were that simple.

Marriage was the one option I thought for sure she would refuse. And for a minute, it looked like she would. But then she threw caution to the wind and accepted me. It was liberating. I wanted nothing more than to prove my devotion to her for the rest of my life, whether she lived or not.

Her demand that I find love again after she passed was insane. I agreed to placate her, but there was no one my heart would survive this plague. I was already half brokenhearted
now
, what was going to happen in a few months when I couldn’t look at or be with her at all?

I sucked in a breath, but didn’t feel the air rush into my lungs. All I felt was despair at the thought of never being able to see her again.

I leaned forward and hung my head between my knees, drawing gasping breaths. It took a full minute before I calmed down enough to lift my head. When I did, Rainey was standing in front of me looking sleepy and so sexy.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured her. I stood and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her in a hug.

“Still want to marry me?” she asked with a glint in her eyes.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

She grinned, her teeth glinting in the light coming from the strip. “That’s good to know,” she said, turning in my arms to lean her back against my chest with my arms still around her.

I leaned down to kiss her neck, softly inhaling her sweet scent.

“So when do you want to marry me?” I asked her softly.

“Oh, I don’t know. How about next year?”

I squeezed her a little to let her know I didn’t appreciate the joke.

“I was actually thinking we should do it in Maine,” she answered.

“Are you sure? That means flying out there, you know,” I teased, knowing how much she hated to fly.

“I’m sure.”

“Next week?” I suggested.

She gulped. “I think that would be perfect.” Her voice quavered a bit but she kept her smile frozen in place.

“Don’t be afraid,” I whispered in her ear.

She turned in my arms, lifting her hands to the back of my neck. “I’ll never be afraid of you,” she promised.

I kissed her
but pulled away before I could enjoy it too much.

“I’m starving,” I admitted with a smirk.

“Does this place have food?”

I barked with laughter. “
Does this place have food
– that’s like asking if the place has air!”

She stuck her tongue out at me and then moved away toward the window to watch the city below us. “Make us something, then,” she demanded.

I gave her ass a playful slap and was rewarded with her yelp of surprise. I winked at her and went into the kitchen to search for food.

When I returned to the living area a few minutes later, Rainey was sitting on the couch, very quiet and almost nervous. I set down a tray of food for us to share and her eyes widened.

“You still eat Doritos and Skittles?” She stared up at me in shock.

“Some things are too good to leave in childhood,” I replied, plucking a handful of chips from the bag and tearing open one of the small bags of fruity goodness.

I popped a chip and several pieces of candy into my mouth all at once, chewing loudly just to annoy her. “This is me, babe. Maybe
you
should be the one rethinking this marriage thing.”

She seemed to ponder my words, and my gut clenched in anxious anticipation. Fear flooded me and I stopped breathing, afraid she would admit to not wanting to marry me after all. But then she laugh
ed and swiped the bag of
S
kittles off my lap.

“You’ll be a diabetic with all this junk food,” she said, even as popped a few
S
kittles into her mouth.

“Look who’s talking,” I admonished, giving her a glare. “Besides, life doesn’t get much better than chips and candy with the girl I love.”

Her emerald eyes turned watery and she looked wistful. There were circles under her eyes and I realized that being up this late wasn’t good for her condition.

“Let’s go to bed,” I suggested as I stood. I held my hand out to her.

“Sounds like a plan,” she said seductively.

By the time we walked into the bedroom, though, she was half-asleep already and I had to lift her into the bed. I laid her on the mattress and she mumbled in her near
-
sleep state.

“I love you, Baker,” she whispered and then rolled over, snuggling under the thick covers. I stood there smiling like a fool at her for several minutes, just watching her sleep.

When I turned away, I had a big smile on my face and I
knew
, without any doubt
,
that loving Rainey now would be worth whatever heartache came later. I went out into the living area, picked up the tray of food
,
and took it to the kitchen. I noticed my phone blinking when I passed where I had set it on the coffee table, so I picked it up on my way to clean up.

There were four missed calls from Mallory and I assumed they were from Luke, but I listened to the voicemail anyway, just in case.