My day got even better when I started up the beautiful Dodge Ram Quad Cab, the hemi engine purring like a very large jungle cat forcefully enough that I felt it under my feet. “God, I love this truck.”
“Anytime you want to use it, feel free to,” he offered, smiling at me.
“Thanks.” I returned the gesture but knew I would never take him up on it in a million years if he wasn’t with me. No way. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t nice enough to go with me if I needed to pick up something that would require a truck.
Teak waited until we were out of the subdivision before tapping me on the shoulder. “So seriously, what’s with the good mood?”
“Oh right,” I giggled, a little shocked I actually
giggled
. And then I proceeded to ramble like a goofy twit. I told them about my weight loss, my new book going well, even that I loved Costco so I was happy about that,
and
exposing them to it was like icing on my cake. Teak asked me what I was working on, admitting he was about halfway through my complete library now so I told him and we talked work, both of us going back and forth. It actually was nice to have someone to discuss that with.
I was really having a lot of fun until I glanced back and saw Cypress frowning at me. He looked away and stared out the window, crossing his arms over his chest. Then I saw
Aspen
was as well. Luckily we were over halfway to Costco, and I found myself going a little bit more over the speed limit to cut down on the time it would take to get there.
Seconds later, I rolled down the window and lit a smoke. Yeah, I’d been fine until then. Now I was trapped in a vehicle where two of the three people seemed really unhappy with me. If that wasn’t a time for a cigarette, I didn’t know when was.
I breathed a little bit easier when we arrived at Costco. After we parked and got out, I winced when I heard two of the doors slam. I couldn’t take it then, half tempted to call a cab and go right back home without them. I intercepted Cypress away from the others because he was the one I had the easiest time talking with.
“What did I do?” I hissed as I dragged him back behind the truck. “What is going on? You guys were all smiles when you saw me, and now ice could be frozen on your and Aspen’s asses.”
“It’s nothing, Cara,” he muttered, his eyes full of some combo of anger and hurt I couldn’t decipher.
“Don’t lie to me, Cypress, or I’m
so
outta here.”
His lips pressed into a thin line before he looked away from me. “We thought you were all happy because of what you shared with us last night, staying and watching us.” I dropped his arm so fast the change in my balance almost knocked me back a step.
“I don’t know what last night was,” I admitted, putting some space between us. “I don’t know why you guys gave me the green light to watch you or why you seem to
want
me to watch you together since you’ve done it twice in one week in such an open spot. You guys are all together,
together
. I don’t get what you want from me or if this is your kink or some kind of game to you.” He opened his mouth, but I held up my hand and shook my head so he closed it. “I don’t even know how
I
feel about what I did last night, Cypress.”
That
got his attention, and he lost the anger, studying me closely. “You don’t?”
“No,” I whispered, adjusting my purse strap across my body before rubbing my arm. “That’s not exactly something I’ve ever done before and—” I closed my mouth and shook my head. “And I don’t know.” I pointed over my shoulder to the store. “But this? This I’m sharing with you guys. I was sharing my day and myself with you three,
including
you in it. Not you guys having fun and you inviting me to
watch
so I don’t know what I think about last night, but now I
know
it shouldn’t ever happen again.”
“Cara, wait,” he gasped as I turned away, tears burning in my eyes. I shrugged him off when he reached for me, heading to the store. I wanted nothing more than to go home, but there would be more talking if we turned right back around, and I didn’t want that. And there was no way they’d let me take a cab back. Plus it would be an arm and a leg and that was a stupid waste of money. I did need some things from Costco as well, and we were all the way there now.
But the trip was ruined for me and so was the day. Probably our whole arrangement.
I held out Aspen’s keys to him as I walked by him, ignoring his eyes going wide when he saw I was crying. He took them from me, but didn’t move otherwise. It was Teak that fell into step with me.
“Please don’t lump me in with them,” he muttered quietly. “I wasn’t a jerk.”
“But you’re with them,” I whispered, angrily wiping tears. “You’re all lovers—”
“I’m still my own person,” he defended.
“That’s fair,” I sighed as we reached the entrance. I grabbed a cart which he took from me. “I just don’t want to get in the middle of anything. I feel like Cypress and Aspen expected something from me today and I don’t know
what
. What do you guys want from me?”
“To get to know you.”
I shot him a disbelieving look before I held up my card for the counter and nodded behind me. “The two stragglers are with me too.” Cypress took another cart, walking with Aspen, but they kept their distance as we continued. “Most neighbors getting to know each other don’t go to
that
extent, Teak. You guys are gay and of course I don’t have a problem with—”
“No, we’re not,” he interrupted, stopping the cart, turning to me, and sighing. “I knew we should have clarified this instead of just hinting and playing out on the deck. We’re bi-sexual, Cara. The three of us love each other, but we’re not all we need. We’re just a package deal.”
“Oh.
Oh
!” I breathed, his words sinking in.
“Yeah,
I’m
the one that was going to screw everything all up,” Aspen drawled from behind us. “Good one, Cypress.”
“Shut it, asshole,” he snapped.
“So, you’re saying…” I trailed off, still not sure
what
Teak was getting at.
“That we’re bi-sexual.” He shrugged, glancing at his feet before meeting my eyes again. “And we want to get to know you. That’s it.” Then he smiled at me. “And
I’m
saying that they acted like big fat jerks on the ride over here and I didn’t and I’d like to enjoy your thoughtful fieldtrip and for you to go back to being excited, happy, and goofy Cara again. So can we just ignore them and have fun?”
“If you buy me a slice of pizza before we leave because their pizza is awesome,” I moaned, making a face at him.
“Deal,” he chuckled, throwing his arm around my shoulders. “Will you still feed me too? I will
beat
them senseless if they fucked that up because I was dreaming about that chicken last night.”
“It would be a shame to waste all that prepared chicken, wouldn’t it?” I teased him as I pulled away and we started walking again. “I guess it depends if they plan on apologizing for being big fat jerks.”
“We do,” they called out from behind us. Teak and I exchanged a look before we burst out laughing. Nice.
He and I had a blast. We actually turned around and started the store from the beginning since we hadn’t gotten that far in and hadn’t seen much of anything anyways. His excitement was infectious, and five minutes in, the upset Aspen and Cypress had caused was almost all but forgotten… Until we saw them again.
But even handling that became a game Teak and I kept playing. They walked down the aisle we were in, we went down another one. They came into bakery, and we ditched into the massive produce fridge—goofy stuff like that.
It wasn’t until Teak had made a left, and I’d missed it and went right that Aspen cornered me in the back area by tower racks of paper plates and plastic cups. He grabbed my arm and spun me around, boxing me in so we were nose to nose.
“He told me you don’t know how you feel about last night,” he murmured as he stared into my eyes, that intense look in them. “I’m sorry. It was wrong of us to assume you knew and were just toying with us by hiding your response to what you saw, what we shared with you.”
“
That’s
what you thought I was doing?” I gasped, my eyes going wide.
“Yes.”
“Then you don’t know me at all, Aspen,” I whispered as my heart sank. “I wouldn’t
ever
toy with someone like that. It’s just not in me.”
“I didn’t think it was. That’s why it hurt when I thought you did.”
I searched his eyes and saw the truth. “What were you expecting me to say this morning? I get you guys thought you shared something with me, and I guess you did, but all I did was
watch
. What did you really want to happen?”
“To say you wanted to join in next time,” he admitted as he moved in closer.
I couldn’t help my reaction. I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard, I actually grabbed my chest and moved my other hand to his, pushing him back to give me space. When I finally got myself under control, he still had me boxed in but at least he wasn’t uncomfortably close anymore. “I’m sorry, but
seriously,
Aspen! I mean, what were you thinking? How many women would ask to join in with three
gay
men?”
“We’re not gay, we’re
bi
.”
“I know that
now
,” I drawled, rolling my eyes.
“Do you know a lot of
gay
men who are interested in having a woman watch them have sex?” he shot back.
“Not a lot, but
yeah,
I know some,” I answered with a shrug. “If a person likes attention, they like attention. Sometimes it doesn’t matter where the attention comes from. You have to know gay men like that too. Some can be real attention whores.”
He frowned and then shook his head. “I don’t know any gay men or women actually.”
It really was a day for shocking revelations. “One day you guys are going to have to fill me in on this not cult with the weird rules that wanted you to conform to old money traditions and expectations that had you never mowing a lawn, knowing basic chores, or meeting anyone gay, Aspen.”
“One day,” he agreed, his expression shutting down as he stood up straight.
“I won’t push on that,” I hedged, realizing that this really was going to be a
thing
. “And not that you guys have
asked
or officially said you want me to join in anything with you, but let me be clear that until that conversation happens one day there is not a chance in hell I will entertain the idea of walking into something that involves an already established three-way committed relationship with my next door neighbors.”
“That’s fair,” he sighed, running his hands over his hair and tightening his ponytail. “Yeah, that’s really fair. We jumped the gun.”
“Yeah, so let’s stick to the meal agreement and maybe a pitcher of daiquiris here and there,” I offered, not ready to scrap being their friend. They were nice guys after all just… Complicated.
He studied me a moment before nodding. “Cypress is still getting you apology flowers.”
“That’s allowed. He did make me cry, which is rare.” I smiled at him.
“Everything okay here?” Teak asked as he and Cypress rounded the corner on us, both obviously having been looking for us.
“Yeah, we talked things out,” I quickly answered as I walked over to him. I glanced at Cypress who looked a little like he’d been kicked in the nuts recently. “If you agree with what Aspen and I just discussed once he catches you up, you’re forgiven too.”
“Okay.”
And that was it. Fight over and dropped. I didn’t like to drag things out or make a mountain out of molehill. It wasn’t my style.
* * * *
Cypress did end up agreeing and they backed off with the sexual kinks and we kept the meal agreement. I did catch them “necking” a few times as the kids called it, but nothing I wouldn’t see being friends with any other couple. Besides, they were cute. And they were cute with me. I
loved
spending time with them and I would do anything with them. They came over for dinner six nights a week, sometimes seven and either they’d clean up and go right home or we’d sit out on the deck and have a drink.
Once in a while they’d even hang out and watch TV. Normally Tuesday nights when Amazon had early releases on their instant videos or Sunday nights when we caught
Game of Thrones
and
Penny Dreadful
. Those nights I looked forward to most because spending with them was the only distraction I had from my mounting worries elsewhere.
And
fuck
were they mounting higher and higher. My weight loss continued over the next few months and normally that would have an obese woman doing a happy dance, but not at this rate. Not without explanation.