Brick Shakespeare: The Comedies—A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Tempest, Much Ado About Nothing, and The Taming of the Shrew (88 page)

GREMIO

First, as you know, my house within the city

Is richly furnished with plate and gold;

Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;

My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry;

In ivory coffers I have stuff’d my crowns;

In cypress chests my arras counterpoints,

Costly apparel, tents, and canopies,

Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss’d with pearl,

Valance of Venice gold in needlework,

Pewter and brass and all things that belong

To house or housekeeping: then, at my farm

I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,

Sixscore fat oxen standing in my stalls,

And all things answerable to this portion.

Myself am struck in years, I must confess;

And if I die to-morrow, this is hers,

If whilst I live she will be only mine.

TRANIO

That “only” came well in. Sir, list to me:

I am my father’s heir and only son:

If I may have your daughter to my wife,

I’ll leave her houses three or four as good,

Within rich Pisa walls, as any one

Old Signior Gremio has in Padua;

Besides two thousand ducats by the year

Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure.

What, have I pinch’d you, Signior Gremio?

GREMIO

Two thousand ducats by the year of land!

My land amounts not to so much in all:

That she shall have; besides an argosy

That now is lying in Marseilles’ road.

What, have I choked you with an argosy?

TRANIO

Gremio, ’tis known my father hath no less

Than three great argosies; besides two galliases,

And twelve tight galleys: these I will assure her,

And twice as much, whate’er thou offer’st next.

GREMIO

Nay, I have offer’d all, I have no more;

And she can have no more than all I have:

If you like me, she shall have me and mine.

TRANIO

Why, then the maid is mine from all the world,

By your firm promise: Gremio is out-vied.

BAPTISTA

I must confess your offer is the best;

And, let your father make her the assurance,

She is your own; else, you must pardon me, if you should die before him, where’s her dower?

TRANIO

That’s but a cavil: he is old, I young.

GREMIO

And may not young men die, as well as old?

BAPTISTA

Well, gentlemen,

I am thus resolved: on Sunday next you know

My daughter Katharina is to be married:

Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca

Be bride to you, if you this assurance;

If not, Signior Gremio:

And so, I take my leave, and thank you both.

GREMIO

Adieu, good neighbour.

GREMIO (cont.)

Now I fear thee not:

Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool

To give thee all, and in his waning age

Set foot under thy table: tut, a toy!

An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy.

TRANIO

A vengeance on your crafty wither’d hide!

Yet I have faced it with a card of ten.

’Tis in my head to do my master good:

I see no reason but supposed Lucentio

Must get a father, call’d “supposed Vincentio;”

And that’s a wonder: fathers commonly

Do get their children; but in this case of wooing,

A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.

ACT III. Scene II (1–248).

A
ct III begins with Hortensio (dressed as Licio) and Lucentio (dressed as Cambio) bickering over who should have preference over Bianca’s first lesson. Bianca intervenes and chooses to start with “Cambio” while “Licio” tunes his instrument. Lucentio reveals himself and his motives to Bianca. The two whisper to each other just out of earshot of Hortensio, who struggles to keep up with Lucentio. By the end of the lesson, it is clear that Bianca favors Lucentio.

BAPTISTA

Signior Lucentio, this is the ’pointed day.

That Katharina and Petruchio should be married,

And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.

What will be said? what mockery will it be,

To want the bridegroom when the priest attends

To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!

What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?

KATHARINA

No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forced

To give my hand opposed against my heart

Unto a mad-brain rudesby full of spleen;

Who woo’d in haste and means to wed at leisure.

I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,

Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior:

And, to be noted for a merry man,

He’ll woo a thousand, ’point the day of marriage,

Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;

Yet never means to wed where he hath woo’d.

Now must the world point at poor Katharina,

And say, “Lo, there is mad Petruchio’s wife,

If it would please him come and marry her!”

TRANIO

Patience, good Katharina, and Baptista too.

Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,

Whatever fortune stays him from his word:

Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;

Though he be merry, yet withal he’s honest.