Bound by Her (16 page)

The following week consisted of nothing but overly long days at work to catch up on the work I had missed recently. The Lounge still wasn’t ready to reopen and Ryan had informed me it would be around another week until it was. That had pissed me off, beyond belief. Emily wasn’t earning her usual tips whilst The Lounge was out of action, and given the fact that she refused to take a single penny from me, I was worried about how she was coping. I still paid her her weekly wage, but she wouldn’t take any more than that.

Emily and Maia had spent every night at my apartment. Maia had gotten upset on the Saturday night, insisting there were monsters under the bed, so I had taken her to Hamley’s on the Sunday morning to choose as many teddy bears as she could possibly find. As soon as they were delivered, a couple of hours later, Maia and I had stuffed them all under the bed, lining them neatly and leaving no space big enough for a monster to squeeze into. After that, she hadn’t complained about the monsters again, which made me relax when going to bed at night. I still hadn’t mentioned the Daddy thing to Emily, and for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Maia hadn’t repeated her mistake since that morning, so I decided to let it go.

I had stopped by to visit my mother every evening on my way home from work. She seemed to be settling in well and she hadn’t refused to take her meds once, or threatened any of the staff, which was apparently a first. I had finally started to think that she may have her illness under control. I was finally beginning to trust her again. There had been no more contact from my father so either he had given up and decided to be a law-abiding citizen, or he was taking his time to master up a plan. My guess would be the latter.

I had been called to the police station on Wednesday. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Emily as I honestly feared just for a brief moment that I may never come out again. I had raced there at lunchtime, my palms sweating against the steering wheel as I wondered what they could possibly want from me. I had admitted the fact that I had assaulted him, so I did wonder if they had figured out that I had set the fire. My heart was in my mouth when the dick head officer, who had been in my apartment the morning after the fire at the club, had gestured me to sit. He had a stern, unwavering expression set across his pimple scarred face, it didn’t seem as though he was about to deliver me any good news. I had felt every single muscle in my body relax when I realised that they were in fact satisfied that Jay Maguire’s death was an accident. They had numerous eye witness statements to clarify that Jay, along with his accomplices, had assaulted numerous members of staff and clearly meant to do harm, and therefore they believed my story that Jay had started the blaze himself. He had been so badly burned that they had had to formally identify him using his dental records, which let me off the hook as there was nothing left of his face to reveal his battering beforehand.
Thank fuck
for that
. I had had plenty of vicious fights in my life, some of which resulted in some nasty injuries, but never before had anyone died because of me. Yet, I couldn’t even bring myself to feel the slightest bit of remorse. Had I killed him myself, with my bare hands, maybe I would have done, but I hadn’t. The fire had killed him, not my hands. And therefore, my conscience was clear. I had told Emily as soon as I got home that evening that the case was as good as closed and she had reacted by literally pouncing on me from across the room and smothering me with her kisses. I still hadn’t told her what had really happened that night, and I was sure I never would. As far as she was concerned, he got trapped in the fire, and that was the end of it. And she seemed happy with that explanation.

Today was my favourite day, Saturday, and I had already decided I was taking Emily out for lunch. It seemed like a long time since I had had Emily alone and all to myself, so when Samantha asked if she and her boyfriend, Michael, could take Maia out for the day, I didn’t even give Emily the chance to answer. I had answered yes for her.

I had promised to visit my mother in the morning, so before our lunch date, I headed for the hospice.

“I’d love to meet her.” Emily glanced across at me briefly before turning back to look out of the window, as if she was afraid of eye contact, as I pulled the car to a stop in the small car park. Why was she afraid to look me in the eye?

“I thought you were happy to wait in the car.” That would be why, I concluded. I was a dick when it came to trying to protect Emily; I just never seemed to be able to find the right words to say without offending her. “I’d love you to meet her, Emily, but I need to make sure I can trust her first.” I gave her an apologetic smile and squeezed her thigh.

“She won’t hurt me, Julian. Why would she? Besides, you’ll be there, as well as her carer, I assume.”

“I don’t know.” I rubbed at my eyebrows before sneaking a peek at Emily from the corner of my eye. Her perfect features were marred by a deep frown as she stared out of the passenger window, seemingly at nothing. It killed me to think that I was hurting her, that was the last thing I wanted to do, but how could I be sure? How could I be sure that my dream wouldn’t become a reality? Her reality. Mind you, if I saw my mother springing for attack, I would be the last person I’d be thinking of protecting, unlike my dream. I would never let anybody harm Emily, least of all my mother.

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” She may have been pretending to be unsure of my meaning, but I could tell by the subtle raise in her brows and the instant life behind her eyes that she knew exactly what I meant, and she looked ecstatic. Though I couldn’t imagine why.

“Let’s introduce you to my mother.”

I suppose I would have to sooner or later, it may as well be now.

“You should know, she can be kind of unpredictable. She gets confused and she may not be nice to you.” I found myself feeling almost embarrassed as I wondered what Emily would think of my mother’s seemingly constant mood swings.

“Julian, I understand. Don’t worry.”

But I couldn’t stop myself from worrying. More than worrying, actually. I was petrified as we walked towards the building, my heart beating hard against my rib cage. What if my mother did turn? What if she did attack my fiancée? I would have no choice but to protect Emily, which could well end up in me harming my own mother. Something that I had never once intended on doing, no matter how much I had despised her in the past. As far as I was concerned, no man should ever lay his hands on a woman. Women should be respected, treated like royalty whether they were or they weren’t. I suppose that particular belief came from years of seeing a woman, my mother, being manhandled and disrespected in every way possible at the hands of my father. Many would argue that witnessing this sort of behaviour was bound to make you turn out the same way, if it was all you had ever known. But I disagree. When you’ve seen that kind of suffering, felt her pain and shared her tears, there was nothing in this world that could make me do the same. In that respect, I was nothing like my father. In fact, I couldn’t be any further away.

But, all that being said, if she tried to harm Emily, I don’t think I’d give a second thought to that particular belief. And that was the very thing I was struggling with as Emily stopped me before we entered the homely looking building.

“Hey, don’t worry. It’ll be fine,” she soothed and I could feel the beads of moisture beneath her fingers as she stroked them across my temple. But what she wasn’t aware of was the fact that I was seriously pondering the thought of harming my frail, mentally ill mother if it came to it. I must be a monster. Let’s just hope it wouldn’t come to it.

“Where is Isabella?” my mother asked as she eyed Emily suspiciously.

Emily lingered in the doorway fiddling with her fingers but smiling widely. She looked like an angel, her cheeks were glowing a soft pink as her eyes gleamed at me.

“She had to work today, remember? She’ll call in later this afternoon. I have someone I’d like you to meet, if that’s okay?” My mother’s eyes narrowed as if trying to figure out what I was asking, before she simply nodded. I glanced at Emily and beckoned her to me with a quick movement of my head and held my hand towards her. My mother stood from her chair, to greet my guest I assumed, but I took a step back away from her, just in case, as my heart rate soared. “Mum, this is Emily, my fiancée.”

My mother’s face remained expressionless for what seemed like a long time before a heart-warming smile appeared and her eyes came alive. “Oh darling, Isabella never told me you were getting married. How lovely to meet you, Millie. Is that short for Mildred? I do prefer to use a person’s full name, you see.”

Emily smiled even wider, her eyes warming. “Actually, it’s Emily. It’s lovely to meet you.” Emily extended her arm towards my mother. My mother moved forwards and I instinctively stepped in front of her, positioning myself between the two of them, although I had no idea why I felt the need.

“Julian, I wish you wouldn’t feel the need to do that. I was only going to give her a hug.” My mother sounded wounded, her voice weak. “I’m not the person I used to be, Son. You can trust me.”

“Of course he trusts you.” Emily pushed me aside and greeted my mother with a hug whilst I watched on tenterhooks, the beads of perspiration covering my forehead again, no doubt. “Julian never did tell me your name.” Emily smiled as she shot me an awkward glance.

“No manners, that boy.” My mother winked. “I’m Gloria Scott. But you can just call me Gloria.”

For the next hour, Emily and my mother talked utter nonsense and laughed as if they had known each other forever. Even I couldn’t get a word in. Emily brushed my mother’s hair and when she asked for a plait, Emily was thrilled to style it for her. I watched as her fingers entwined around each section of my mother’s greyed hair and expertly arranged it into a neat plait that started at her crown and ended just past her shoulders at the centre of her back. Now she almost looked normal.

“Is there anything you would like, Gloria. We can get you some bits and drop them in later.” Emily asked as she smoothed an unruly curl that hung around my mother’s face with her fingers.

“No, darling. Don’t bother yourself with my shopping.” My mother smiled and patted Emily’s hand that now rested on her shoulder. Emily glanced at me and her brows creased together as she smiled at me tightly but I couldn’t imagine what was bothering her. My mother had appeared normal for the entire visit which was a pleasant surprise, so surely she hadn’t upset Emily in any way. Maybe she simply felt sorry for her.

After we both said our goodbyes to my mother, Emily insisted on talking to the nurses that huddled around the small, busy reception desk in the main foyer. I had no idea why, mind you, as I lingered by the door and replied to a couple of emails that had popped up on my iPhone, but I caught something about creams and bubbles. Like I said, no idea.

When we climbed into the car, Emily’s smile was beaming.

“What are you so happy about?” I asked, answering her wide smile with a tight grin that was no doubt marred by my confused frown.

“Thank you, Julian. Your mother is lovely.”

“Don’t thank me, she created me remember, not the other way around,” I joked.

She smacked my shoulder playfully with the back of her hand. “You know what I mean. Thank you for letting me meet her.”

“No problem.” I pulled her towards me with a gentle hand around the back of her neck and kissed her deeply, passionately.

I still wouldn’t say I trusted my mother a hundred percent, but she seemed to have really taken to Emily and I had found myself relaxing considerably towards the end of our visit. I loved Emily more than life itself, and now that I realised I also loved my mother, it thrilled me to see the two of them so naturally together, my worries and fears seemingly pointless.

We headed straight for the Japanese restaurant that I had booked for lunch. Emily let out a small gasp as we walked into the bar area. It really was magnificent. The bar area was dimly lit, even in the middle of the afternoon, and was made up of shiny wooden tables surrounded by plush velvet armchairs and a selection of welcoming sofas. Tall green plants lined the pale walls, giving the illusion that you were actually in a jungle. This had always been my favourite restaurant, but it felt even better than usual to be here with Emily. I had had plenty of business lunches here, but never had I bought a woman here. And I was glad Emily was my first. And my last.

For the next hour I struggled to keep a hold on my amusement as I watched Emily attempting to master the skill of using chopsticks. It was her first time, and she wasn’t a fast learner. At one point I noticed her stabbing the squared chunk of pork straight through the middle and popping it quickly into her mouth, clearly unaware that I was watching her every movement.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked her, stifling a laugh as she poked at her desert. Each time she thought she had the knack; she would push the sticks together, only for the food to pop upwards and slide across her plate. It was frustrating just to watch. I could quite imagine her screaming very soon, she wasn’t the most patient of people. I leaned forwards and picked up the chocolate spongy stuff with my own chopsticks and held it out towards her mouth. She eagerly took it into her mouth and I couldn’t help but watch her, mesmerised - and aroused - as she chewed it, making the occasional appreciative groan.

“I wouldn’t mind doing a bit of shopping,” she replied, as soon as she had finished swallowing her mouthful.

“Shopping sounds great.”

I usually hated shopping; in fact I very rarely did it. I usually sent Maria out to get whatever I needed, whether it was simply groceries or a new suit. But shopping with Emily, I was sure I could enjoy.

We braved the heaving crowds on Oxford Street. Not once did I allow Emily to let go of my hand, I was sure I would lose her within minutes if I had. Constantly dodging and side stepping masses of bustling bodies was not my idea of fun, but with Emily, it didn’t seem so bad. I simply concentrated on keeping my focus on Emily, rather than the ignorant fucks that didn’t even attempt to alter their direction as they came towards us head on.